Defining Moments (A Moments In Time Love Story 2) (10 page)

Melisa stepped slowly into Mel’s Delights. Honestly, she wasn’t ready to get back to work or to her normal life. All she felt like doing was locking herself inside a dark room, and pretending her world wasn’t crashing down. But baking was a part of her, and it had helped her heal before. Maybe it would do the same this time.

Josie received her with a warm hug. They had been friends since high school, and she had always been there for Melisa when she had needed her most. Also an experienced baker, she had been the person Melisa had sold her bakery to when she’d needed the money to pay off her gambling debts. But when Melisa had been ready to start over, Heat had bought back the bakery for her. Even though Josie owned a wedding planning business with her four sisters, Mel’s Delights was close to Josie’s heart, and she always volunteered to step in whenever Melisa was away and needed someone to keep it running.

Melisa hugged her friend and waved at one of her employees, who stood behind the glass display waiting for customers.

She and Josie disappeared into Melisa’s office. The cramped but immaculate room looked exactly how Melisa had left it. Her cookbooks as well as labeled recipe folders were stacked next to each other in alphabetical order. From where she stood, Melisa didn’t detect one speck of dust on the mahogany table. Josie had kept everything neat and tidy, the way Melisa liked it.

Melisa didn’t sit down at her desk, but in the only other chair in the room. She didn’t want to look as if she was returning to work. She wasn’t sure when she would. As she crossed her legs, she couldn’t believe she had come here. She had left the hotel with the intention of going for her usual walk at the lake, but for some reason, she’d changed her mind and turned around.

“I know it will take time for you to heal emotionally, but how are you feeling physically?” Josie perched on the edge of the desk and crossed her slender legs. Her long blond hair was wrapped into a ballerina bun at the nape of her neck.

“I’m okay. I feel tender sometimes, but my body has recovered well.” Since Scott’s return, the emotional torture had been so great that the aches that had followed the surgery had taken the back burner. It had been over eight weeks now, though—more than enough time for her physical wounds to heal.

“I’m so happy to hear that.” Josie’s smiled. “Are you ready to come back…to work, I mean?”

“I’m not sure yet. Can you run the place a bit longer? Two weeks more, maybe? I’m here only to thank you again for stepping in for me.”

Josie leaned forward and squeezed Melisa’s shoulder, her blue gaze filled with sympathy. “You know I’m here for you. And it’s not as if I’m working for free.” Her rosebud mouth curled in a smile again. “Take as much time as you need to heal. Losing a baby isn’t a small thing.”

“No.” Melisa swallowed hard. “It isn’t.” It was even harder when there was nothing to help her forget. Last night she’d had a vivid dream in which she was singing a lullaby while holding her baby on the porch swing. The emotions had been so real that when she woke up in the morning, she cried for an hour. And she’d craved whiskey so badly she thought she’d go nuts, while at the same time practically gagging at the thought of drinking.

When Carlene called her during breakfast, she urged Melisa to stay strong, and reminded her of the many scars her addictions had left behind. She had also suggested that Melisa consider going to AA meetings again. Melisa had thought about that on several occasions, but she also hadn’t wanted to be reminded of what a stronghold a few drops of a liquid could have on her. But this morning she was literally shaking from the deep-rooted desire for a drink. Before she left the hotel, she called the AA group she used to attend and informed them she would be joining them once a week for a while.

“I appreciate your help, Josie. I might drop in from time to time to bake a cake or two.”

“That’s a fantastic idea.” Josie lowered herself off the desk. “Why don’t you start today? Someone ordered a Mickey Mouse birthday cake. That should cheer you up.”

Melisa hesitated, but she agreed. One cake, and then she would return to her hiding place.

It didn’t end with one cake. Melisa was covered in flour for most of the day as she baked not one, but three cakes, and a couple of cupcakes with the extra batter. Doing what she loved calmed her nerves, and she found herself smiling and humming at odd times, the problems in her life momentarily forgotten. She spent most of the time in the kitchen anyway and didn’t have to risk bumping into her regulars, who might be tempted to ask whether the baby had arrived. After the third cake, she slipped out through the back and went back to the hotel, where she enjoyed a long shower. She had made a decision. Once a week, she’d go to her AA meetings and then to Mel’s Delights to bake. She didn’t have to jump right back into her old life. She’d concentrate on taking one step at a time.

After her shower, Melisa called Scott to confirm their dinner at the inn. Since she had managed to convince him to stay for a few more days, she was determined to make sure he ate right. She could only ensure that when she actually saw him. But to her surprise, Scott cancelled, saying he didn’t feel well.

“I can still come over to take care of you.” She felt sick to her stomach with worry. The good feelings she had collected at Mel’s Delights disappeared, replaced with fear.

“No.” Scott’s voice was firm. “I don’t want you to see me this way.”

Heat pulled into the station and hopped off the fire truck. He and his partner, Joe, checked that all the necessary equipment inside the vehicle was put back in place, and that all supplies were restocked. It didn’t take them long; not much was used this time since the dispatched call had turned out to be a false alarm.

“See you later, Joe,” he said as he turned to walk into the station. It had office quarters, sleeping quarters, a bathroom, a kitchen, and even a TV room and gym. If Heat wanted to, he didn’t have to go anywhere. The station was his second home.

Inside the building, Heat removed his gear and splashed water on his face, letting it air dry and cool his skin. On his way to the kitchen, he passed the bulletin board and stopped to check out the schedule for the next day. It was 8:00 p.m. now and his shift would be over at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow, but he didn’t plan on going home. He needed to stay busy. He’d convinced Darius, the station officer, to give him additional tasks. But as he studied the sheet, he didn’t see his name listed on the schedule for the next four days. Frowning, he stepped away from the board.

Inside the kitchen, he went straight to the fridge. He removed a bottle of water and turned to face his colleagues. There were four of them sitting around the table. Most were finishing up their dinner, and Joe, with a steaming bowl in front of him, was just getting started. From the meaty smell that lingered in the air, it had to be some kind of stew. Heat might have to miss another meal. His appetite was completely in the dumps lately.

As he pulled out an empty chair, it hit him that the room had gone silent as soon as he’d walked in. Damn, looked like he was the topic of the day again. It was public knowledge around town that he and Melisa were separated. Some even went as far as saying they were getting divorced. Since he never confirmed nor denied their suspicions, they all believed it to be true.

Heat knew most of his colleagues were concerned, since they spent so much time together and were practically family. But he didn’t have answers himself. Only Melisa did.

“You okay, Dane?” Joe asked and dipped a chunk of bread into his bowl of stew. He normally never said much, preferring to work out in the gym instead, building even more muscle than he already had. Though his body and boy-next-door looks turned girls’ heads, he was completely committed to his fiancée Lory, who lived in Madison and visited every weekend.

Heat unscrewed the cap of his water bottle and looked around the table. Everyone was watching him. Maybe it was time to say something. But he wouldn’t make it easy for them. “Why do you ask? Do I look sick or something?” he joked.

Jackpot leaned forward, his bushy eyebrows meeting in the middle of his face. “We heard you’re having trouble with the wife.” Jackpot had earned his nickname because of his habit of playing the lottery every other day, always believing he was one scratch card away from becoming a millionaire. The most he’d won in the ten years Heat had known him was ten bucks, but he still didn’t give up.

Heat narrowed his eyes. “Is that so? What kind of trouble?”

As all eyes turned to Jackpot, Jackpot tipped his bowl and swiped the rest of the stew into his mouth with a piece of bread. He chewed, his gaze glued on Heat’s face, and swallowed. “Word is out that Melisa lost the baby and left you. Whatever you’re going through, we want you to know we’re here. We’re a family. You can tell us anything.”

Yes, Heat knew that, and he also knew he could trust them. But he didn’t trust their wives and girlfriends. He was positive most women in town were talking about Melisa already, happy she was the one suffering instead of them. When he walked down the street, he caught glimpses of them through café windows, sipping their fancy cocktails, and pretending to be better than everyone else. Whenever they caught his eye, they huddled together conspiratorially, their mouths running.

“I know that, and I definitely appreciate your concern.” Heat leaned back and drank his water. “My wife and I are going through a rough phase, but we will be fine.” He gazed at the door. “Anyone see Darius?”

As soon as he spoke, the bell shrilled, signaling a possible fire emergency.

Darius stormed in. He was bald at the top of his head and wore a ponytail at the back. Even though he was stocky, he had the energy of a horse. At fifty, he was only seven years older than Heat, but was like a father to him. He’d been supportive when Scott died and Heat had almost given up his job. In the end, Darius had convinced him not to let the fire win. For one life lost, there were many more that needed saving.

In his dry voice, Darius called out names, and told everyone where they should be. He always did that, even if everything was already written on the schedule.

Everyone leaped to their feet, ready to take on their tasks, including Heat.

“Dane, stay put. Jackpot is filling in for you.”

Everyone except for Heat and Darius left the kitchen.

Heat ran a hand through his hair. “What’s this about? First, you take me off the schedule for the next four days. Now you won’t let me go on a fire run?”

Darius sat in the chair Joe had occupied and aimed his small, round eyes at Heat. “Dane, you’re one of my strongest men. You work damn hard. But I need you to take time off. Take care of yourself. I know what you’re trying to do.”

Heat listened to the sound of boots stomping outside the kitchen as members of his crew hurried out of the station to do his job. He sat back down. “What I’m trying to do? What are you talking about?”

Darius shifted his chair closer to the table. “Dane, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but everyone knows what’s going on. The whole town is talking.” He tapped the butt of his pen on the table. “Now, I don’t know the facts and if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s none of my business. It’s no one’s business. But I know one thing. You’re trying to run away from the pain by working like a dog.” He stood up and pushed the pen into his pocket. “I’m sorry; I can’t give you any more extra shifts. Go home and get some rest.”

Heat slammed the table with his fist, the numbing pain slicing through his hand. “Rest won’t solve the fuckin’ problem,” he said through clenched teeth, then immediately realized he was pouncing at the wrong person. He sighed. He was not usually a short-tempered guy. “I’m sorry, Darius. It’s not your fault. You’re trying to help.” He stood. “I’ll go home.” If too much work was giving him a temper, maybe he should do something about it.

Darius patted him on the back. “You’re doing the right thing. Take as much time as you need.”

“Four days is enough. No more than that.” What would he do with himself for four whole days?

Darius laughed and left the kitchen. “As much time as you need, Dane,” he threw over his shoulder.

Ten minutes later, Heat got into the car and drove away from the station. He would have loved to drive straight to the Lux to see Melisa, but he had promised to give her the time she needed. He didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the chances of her coming back to him. But there was one thing he could do to keep busy.

When he pulled up in front of Deeno’s Home Supplies, he was confident that renovating the house would distract him from going completely mad.

A knock on the door woke Melisa from a restless sleep. Feeling as if her limbs were filled with lead, she padded to the door, wondering who could be coming by so early in the morning. She opened the door and started, then merely stared, tongue-tied.

“Hi, Melisa.” Ben carried a backpack and wore a leather jacket and scuffed jeans. “Florian told me you were here. Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course,” Melisa said, but she didn’t move from the doorway, still shaken to be seeing her son. When she recovered some, she stepped aside and he entered. “Sorry.” Her voice sounded odd to her ears. “Can I offer you something to drink…or eat?”

“No, I’m fine.” Ben pushed his hands into his pockets. He looked uncomfortable in the luxurious room, as if he felt he didn’t belong. “Can I sit?”

“Ben, you don’t have to ask.” Melisa sat first, and he lowered himself onto the opposite end of the leather couch. “I’m so happy to see you.”

He nodded and looked down at his hands, which were splayed over his knees. “I came to Serendipity to visit a friend. I decided to drop by and say hi to you and Florian.” He paused. “I’m sorry again about last time… when you came to see me in Madison. It wasn’t cool of me to act the way I did. I thought I was ready to meet you. But I guess I freaked out. I felt like I was betraying my parents, as if I was replacing them, you know?”

“Yes, and I understand.” Melisa held her breath. She would say as little as possible. Now that he was here all on his own, she didn’t want to chase him away. She would let him say what he came to tell her, and if he wanted to leave again, she would let him go.

Although she had promised herself she would keep her distance and give him time, she did call him a few days after she’d lost the baby, to say hi and remind herself that she still had another child. She had been crushed when he never picked up or returned her call. Apart from that moment of weakness when she had reached out to him, she had loved him from a distance, and only sent him occasional emails to tell him in a few words how they were doing, and to wish him well. No promises, no pressure, no forcing him to accept her as his mother. In her emails she hadn’t even told him about the accident, as she hadn’t wanted him to feel obligated to contact them.

“Thank you for emailing.” He raked a hand through his hair, looking the way Heat did when he was unsure of what to say. “I don’t read my emails often. I just logged in last week again after a month or so. That’s why I didn’t call after…” He glanced at her stomach. How did he know? “Florian wrote in one of his emails that there was an accident. I’m… I’m really sorry about your baby.”

She had never intended to tell Ben herself, but she was kind of glad in this moment that Heat had. There was nothing like seeing her son during the time when she felt most alone.

“It wasn’t meant to be.” A tear trickled down her cheek. She had repeated those words to herself over and over again in the past weeks. Maybe one day she would believe them.

Ben tapped his foot for a while and then to Melisa’s shock and delight, he shifted closer and draped an arm across her shoulders.

Melisa leaned her head against him as tears spilled from her eyes, most of them tears of joy for the moment her son was sharing with her. In the silence, she listened to him breathing, to his heart beating—the sounds she would have loved to hear when he was growing up. This was a major step. Maybe after today, he would choose to be more present in their lives and open the door to his.

Not wanting to push it, she lifted her head and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Thank you.”

Ben cleared his throat and looked at her. “Since the day you came to Madison…and after hearing about your accident, I’ve been thinking a lot. I made a decision.”

“A decision?”

“About you and Florian.” Ben clasped his hands together and looked down at them. “I lost my mom and dad in a car accident. Hearing about your accident kind of freaked me out.”

Melisa’s heart started racing but she didn’t say anything, didn’t want to interrupt what she hoped was coming.

“I don’t want to lose you…before getting to know you. Before I met you I kind of hoped you’d be terrible people. It would have made it easier to walk away. But you’re not.” He smiled. “You’re kind of cool.”

“Are you trying to say that… that you want—”

“I was messed up when my parents died. Being without a family sucks. With no other family members alive, I thought I was all alone. Then I got your call. I want to get to know you and Florian. That’s why I’m thinking of moving to Serendipity next year, if that’s all right. I can transfer to Serendipity University.”

A lump formed inside Melisa’s throat. “There’s nothing that would make us happier, Ben. I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay. I like it here. I actually have a few friends in town.” Ben shifted, looking uncomfortable again. “Florian said you needed some time away to come to terms with what happened. I hope you feel better soon.”

“Thank you. I will. Thank you so much for stopping by.” Melisa wondered how much Heat and Ben had been in contact. Ben said his name so easily and casually. Maybe they’d been calling each other. Whatever the case, Melisa’s heart swelled to know they had connected.

“I’ll be going back to Madison tomorrow afternoon. Florian invited me to your place for breakfast. He thought you might like to come as well.”

“That would be wonderful.” Melisa nodded, forgetting the discomfort that being back in her home might bring. Her only child was extending an invitation to her. How could she refuse?

After Ben left, she remained on the couch for a long time with her head resting on her knees, eyes closed, listening to herself breathing. A smile spread across her face and sent warmth radiating through her whole being. It felt like balsam on her open wounds. She still couldn’t believe what had just happened. Her child was reaching out to her in her moment of darkness. She’d never even dared to allow herself to believe that he’d come back to her. She had learned the hard way that wishing and hoping was a good way to open the door to her heart and invite the hurt in.

She had hoped that as soon as she and Ben met, they’d bond and easily merge into each other’s lives. Wrong. She’d hoped she would carry her other two babies to term. Wrong again. After she thought Scott had died, in her grief, she’d wished she could somehow get a chance to say goodbye, wished she could see him one more time. She had gotten her wish, but it had come hand in hand with agony. But maybe with Ben reaching out to her, things were starting to right themselves again. Maybe it would all be okay. Miracles happened every day. Maybe Scott would be cured. Apart from the weight loss, he didn’t look like someone who was about to die.

As the day wore on, Melisa’s excitement at having breakfast with Heat and Ben turned to dread. Walking into her home after over two months of trying to stay away from it might be like rubbing salt into her still-bleeding wounds. But she couldn’t let the opportunity Ben had offered her slip through her fingers. Breakfast would be their first step at being a family.

The phone rang just as Melisa was getting ready to go meet Scott for dinner at the inn. She hoped it wasn’t him cancelling again. After he told her yesterday that he wasn’t feeling well, she wanted to make sure he was okay.

She picked up the phone with one hand and brushed her hair with the other. “Hello?”

“Baby, it’s me,” Heat’s voice sounded more alive than it had in weeks. “Did Ben come and see you?”

Melisa smiled. “Yes. Thanks for telling him where I am.”

“I wasn’t sure whether you wanted him to know what had happened, but when he showed up here I figured it would do you good to see him.”

“You did the right thing. Thanks honey.” For the first time since they lost the baby, Melisa felt close to her husband. Who would have thought that Ben would be the bond that reconnected them?