Define Me (15 page)

“Vincent I just don’t know what to say to you, Rebecca has issues with me and I don’t know how to deal with it.  You have a history; she wants you and believes you belong with her.  How do I compete with that?  She is always with you, working with you.  How are we going to be able to move on with our relationship?” 

“I understand what you are saying, but Caitlin I like you and after the night we spent together I know we are meant to be.  You are what I have been looking for so long; I don’t want to lose you.”

“I feel the same way about you Vincent, before we met my heart was dark, I was unhappy.  Since you came into my life things have changed.  You helped me to see the light.  I don’t want this to end, but I just can’t have that woman in my life.  It took me so long to be happy again and I can’t let her drag me down, I can’t do that to myself again.  You need to sort out what is between you first before we can start on what is between us.”

I walked to where Vincent was sitting; he got up, put his arms around me and hugged me tight.  He then pulled away and looked into my eyes. 

“I don’t want to lose you Caitlin; you mean the world to me.  In such a short time you have become my beginning and my end.  I promise I will sort this issue with Rebecca out, I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.” 

Vincent

I’ve only
known Caitlin for a short time yet it feels like she is the other half of me.  I know I’m so much older than her but, I can see that she had to grow up quickly and to be so independent at age 18, my kind of girl.  I just hope I can sort this shit out with Rebecca, before it is too late. 

I think I always suspected Rebecca had feelings for me, or maybe Cole.  Over the years the men came and went, no one really stuck it out, she was a bitch even back when Patrick was around.  I could never understand how he could tolerate her moods.  But when he died, I promised him I would look after her, never realizing that it would come to this.  I nearly lost the girl of my dreams because Rebecca believes I belong to her.  I needed to sort this out and do it right away. 

Cole and Heather were sitting outside Simplicity; I would need to speak to Cole first, to see what to do about Rebecca, we are in this together. 

“Hey Vincent, did you get to speak to Cat?”

“Yes I did, thank you Heather for calling me
.  Now I understand why she ran, do you mind if I chat to Cole in private.”

“Yes no problem, I will go check on Caitlin.”

Heather walked away and I sat down.

“Dude, I have big problems.  Caitlin told me a few things and I swear I never realized this shit was going on.”

“What do you mean, what happened?”

“This morning at the shop, I was doing stock take in the freezer.  Apparently Rebecca and Caitlin had words.  Rebecca said to Caitlin that she and I, that is Rebecca and I, were soul mates and that Caitlin is just a fling”

“Oh”

“What do you mean, Oh?”

“I should have said something before, but it never really mattered, no girl ever really stuck around long enough.  Rebecca always got a little jealous when you went on dates but it never really bothered me.”

“Shit it would have been good to have a heads up, I never knew.  She was and will always be Patrick’s girl to me; I could never feel anything more for her.  Now what do I do?”

“Let me ask you this.  What does Caitlin mean to you?  Is she just another pretty girl that will play arm candy for the next few weeks or is there something more to this?”

“Cole, I don’t know how to explain it to you.  This girl has me wrapped around her little finger; I would do anything for Caitlin.  I can see there is a dark side to her, she has been broken, and I know that we met for a reason.  I know we have just met, but I can tell you this girl is going to be my wife one day.” 

“Dude, you have it bad.  To talk about marriage when you just met her.  She is only 18, you need to calm it down a bit, and you will scare her away with marriage talk.”

“Shut up, I said one day not today.  I know she is too young for marriage but I need you to understand this is not just a fling this is the real deal for me.”

“I get it, but you need to sort this shit out with Rebecca, she has been with us for years and she knows the ins and outs of our business.  I have to be honest with you, I don’t think this is going to be easy, she is not going to let go of her feelings for you that easily.  Whatever you decide to do I am here, I will support you. I know what I would have done if I was in your shoes.”

“Thanks.  I am dreading this meeting with Rebecca but it needs to be done and it needs to be done today.”

“You are right.  I tell you what, I will run the shop today, I don’t think you should have it out with Rebecca here; we might just loose some clients.  She is going to go postal on you” 

“Fuck, I know! So no one is here yet, I am going to ask her to go to lunch with me, then you take over the shop.”

I got up and walked into the kitchen, Rebecca was busy preparing some food in the kitchen when I walked in. 

“Hey, you want to get out of here
?  We need to talk; Cole will take over for the rest of the day.”

“Lunch would be great, let me just grab my bag.”

Shit, how did I not see the signs?  The look on her face when I asked her to go to lunch, I have been such an idiot.  Did I lead her on, and did I make her believe that our friendship was something more?

I decided to go to a public place, call me a coward but I didn’t know how that girl was going to react.  Lunch went well; we talked a lot about Patrick and the past.  I was trying to figure her out but it was clear how she felt about me, I was so blind all these year. 

By desert I was running out of time, I needed to sort this out now. 

“Listen Rebecca we need to talk about what happened between you and Caitlin this morning.” 

“Nothing happened this morning.” 

“Rebecca, I spoke to her and I know what happened.”

“Well nothing happened, whatever she
told to you, it’s a lie.”

“Listen Rebecca, I am not going to fight with you about this.  I just think we have a few things to talk about.  When Patrick died and you lost the baby, I blamed myself and I vowed to always look after you. To me you were Patrick’s girl and a very good friend, nothing more.  I am not attracted to you.  I know you said to Caitlin we are
soul mates
, but to me we are just friends and nothing more.” 

Rebecca went white in the face; her eyes filled with tears, shit this is not going well. 

“How can you say there is nothing between us?  All these years I gave up everything to be with you.”

“Rebecca, we have always just been friends nothing more.”

“Vincent I love you and I want to be with you.  I know we can be so good together, just give us a chance.”

“Rebecca, I am in love with Caitlin and we are in a relationship.”

“That will never last and you know it, you are meant to be with me
.”

“Rebecca, you are being ridiculous, we have never and will never be together.  You were Patrick’s girl; you are like a sister to me, nothing more.”

“I will never accept that, you will love me.” 

“You need to let this go, I am with Caitlin and that is the end of it.”

Rebecca jumped up and stormed out of the restaurant.  By the time I finished paying the bill she was gone.  Well that went well, what am I going to do now?  I didn’t realize Rebecca had it so bad.  In different circumstances it could have been fun, but with Caitlin in my life now I needed to sort it out.  I needed Rebecca to understand that I just didn’t feel that way about her and if she didn’t understand she would need to leave.  She would not be able to work for us anymore.  When I got back to Simplicity Cole was waiting for me outside the door. 

“What the hell happened?  Rebecca phoned and told me she is quitting.”

“Yeah, it didn’t go w
ell.  She told me she loved me and that we are meant to be together, I told her that I’m with Caitlin now and she flipped out.” 

“I told you this was not going to end well.  Now what are we going to do about a shop manager?” 

“I don’t know, we need to advertise and see.  Did you speak to Heather?”

“Yes, she was just here.  She heard the phone call from Rebecca, so your girl must know that Rebecca is gone.”

“Oh, it’s late already.   Let’s lock up, I need to get home, it’s been a long day.  You think I should go speak to Caitlin now or should I wait for tomorrow?”

“Dude, why are you asking me, what do I know. I am going over to pick Heather up; we are going out to Barry’s pub for sundowners.  You are welcome to come with, I’m not sure if Caitlin is going to join us, Heather said she has been sleeping the whole day.”

“Yeah I don’t know, she looked bad this afternoon when I saw her, but I do think I should go talk to her.  We need to sort this out, I want a clean start.”

Cole and I
walked over to Caitlin’s house, when Heather opened the door she was already dressed and ready for the evening.  Cole is a lucky guy.

“Hey, how is my girl doing?” 

“Not good Vincent, she’s been locked in her room since you left; she won’t even talk to me.”

“So she doesn’t know that Rebecca quit?”

“No, I didn’t tell her.”

“Do you mind if I go see her?”

“Be my guest, I don’t know if you are going to have any luck but you are welcome to try.”

“Thanks”

I made my way upstairs to Caitlin’s room; I hoped she would speak to me.  This thing with Rebecca really made a mess.  The day started so perfect and within minutes it all turned to shit. I knocked on the door but there was no answer, I turned the handle and it was unlocked.  When I looked into the room saw Caitlin fast asleep, her books spread over the bed and she was crawled in a ball hugging her pillow.  She still had her earphones on (she really loves her music that IPod is always by her side) I stared clearing her bed, putting all the books on her desk; she didn’t even wake when I dropped one on the floor.  I felt so bad; I could see that she had been crying, her eyes were all swollen.  Shit I did that to her.  I climbed onto the bed next to her and pulled her onto my chest. God I love this girl.  I knew it was too fast to feel that way but I knew it in my gut.  This was the woman wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but she was not ready. 

“Vincent you are back.”

“Yeah baby, I am back, sleep we can talk in the morning.” 

Caitlin slipped her arms around my body and held tight.  Soon I felt her falling into a deep sleep, her head resting on my chest.  Her hair smelled so good, I just lay there with her in my arms.  I could not fall asleep, the day’s events playing over in my head.  How could I have been as blind as to not see what was happening with Rebecca?  She was always like a little sister to me, how could I not have seen the signs?  I really hope this was the end of all this and that Rebecca will leave Caitlin and I alone, but something tells me this will not be the end of it.

I took Caitlin’s iPod and went through her playlist; the last song that was playing was Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson, what an odd song. 

Sometime during the night Heather came to check on us and she brought an extra blanket and covered us.  She walked up to me and placed her hand on my shoulder.

“Just give her a little time.  The past year hasn’t been easy on her; it is hard for her to trust.  She loves you I can see that and the look in your eyes shows me that you love her too.  She is not ready to admit it; you need to mend her broken parts, the parts of her soul that’s lost.” 

Cole walked into the room; he just shook his head at me. 

“You are so pussy whipped”

“Shut up, dickhead!”

“Can you two please keep your mouths shut, you going to wake Caitlin up?”

“Well we are out of here, we will chat in the morning about what to do about Simplicity.  I have few ideas, and don’t worry about going to the market tomorrow morning I will sort that out.   See you tomorrow Vincent.”

“Thank you, yes we will chat in the morning.  Heather if you don’t mind I am going to spend the night, I want to talk to Caitlin when she wakes in the morning” 

“No problem, good luck”

Heather and Cole walked out and closed the door behind them, now it was just me and my beautiful girl.  Not long after they left I fell sleep.