Defenseless (23 page)

The grin on his face forewarns me that I’m going to pay for that. “You’ll go home when I’m ready for you to go home.”

I glare at him as he’s sure as hell going to pay for
that
.

Erik laughs. “We see who wears the pants in this relationship.”

“Shut up. You’re dismissed. Send in the next of my royal subjects.” Mark stands with his arms spread open.

“Mark, we should talk,” I say as the next minion approaches the doorway.

“Or better yet, we’ll do this again when I’m in the mood.”

A few people laugh from the corridor, and Mark shuts his door in the guy’s face. “What’s going on?”

“We have hope. We have Mandi in our corner.”

Mark scowls. “Isn’t this the same girl who sold you out at your debrief?”

“Yes, but she’s answering on the line only she and I know about.”

“And you think this is a good idea?”

“I think it’s our best shot.”

His eyes drift as he seems to weigh his thoughts. “You trust her?”

“I trusted her with my life. I don’t think she’d double-cross me. And the info I’d send her wouldn’t be crucial.”

He shakes his head, “I don’t want to involve the agency.”

“We’re not.”

“We are.” He slams his hands on the desk. “I say no. I don’t want you to do it. I think we can find information another way. I don’t want the CIA involved.”

“Mark.”

“No, I don’t trust them.” His eyes close and he lets out a deep breath. “Look, I think they’re behind who drugged you.”

No. I mean, it’s not impossible, but it’s highly improbable. I’m not a risk. It makes no sense that they’d drug me. Plus, where the hell would he come up with this idea? He has no proof.

“I think you’re wrong.”

He crosses his arms. “I’m not. I’m telling you, there’s something going on, and I’m not going to let you risk it.”

“Mark,” Lee says over the intercom and interrupts our argument. “Sorry to bother you, but there’s an issue with the bid. Can you look at this?”

“Sure.” He stands but turns to me before he goes. “We’ll finish this when I get back, but my answer is no. I don’t want anyone from there tangled up in this. We’ll handle it. Just us.”

Mark exits the room, and I start to pace.
Let me?
Let me risk it. I hear the words over and over, but I don’t agree with him. I think he’s shortsighted in realizing the information I can get if Mandi comes on board.

I know it’s a stretch, but if she’s willing to gather info that I can’t get, then I can dig deeper. It’ll take less time, less energy, and there will be less of a chance of being exposed. There are a lot of cards laid out, but if we can use the resources of the agency, then it’ll be okay. If we can just have everyone not disappear, get shot, or be taken hostage then we can get our answers. He’s not calling the shots on this one. It’s my handler, and I trust her. I grab my phone.

Me: I need your help, but I need to trust you.

Mandi: I never betrayed you, Charlie. I never would.

“I swear to God, if I get bitten by anything, you better hope it kills me,” I threaten Mark for the tenth time. I can’t believe I let him talk me into this.

“I told you, sharks need to eat too.”

“It’s a wonder that you’ve been single this long.”

He smirks. “I was just waiting for you, princess.”

“Sure you were.”

It’s been a week, and Mandi and I have been communicating regularly. I hate keeping it from Mark, but we disagree, and I’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission.

However, he kept his promise, and I kept mine. That night in the vineyard was an anomaly. No more talk of making love, even though I do a shit job of not looking at him. I catch myself frequently, but for the most part . . . we’re back to Charlie and Mark—the hostile, sex-craved, sarcastic assholes who want to be on top of the world. It works better this way, even though I’m hopelessly in love with the jackass.

His eyes roll as he lays the surfboards down. “Whatever you say, Chartreuse.”

“That’s the worst one yet.”

“If you’d just tell me, I would stop having to guess. Unless your name really is Charlie?” I shake my head with a smile.

We spent some time with Aaron last night. It wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. He’s doing really well, and he actually had some information that might help me find Mazir. Seems I wasn’t the only one listening to everything.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” I smile over my shoulder as I go to put my toes in the water. I really hate this. There’s not much I’m afraid of, but sea creatures are one. I hate not being able to see what’s beneath me. It’s a vulnerability that doesn’t sit well with me. I understand, considering the amount of time Mark’s spent in the water, how this feels like home to him. I, however, do not feel the same. The only reason I agreed to this is that he promised to take me back to DC soon. I’ve been gone long enough, and all this mushy stuff between us has me spooked.

My toes dip in the cold water and I suppress a shiver. There’s no way I’m going in. It’s ice cold, and as much as I don’t do the swimming thing, I sure as hell don’t do the cold. I head back toward the beach, but I’ve barely turned before strong arms wrap around my middle, lifting me off the ground.
Oh, hell no!
“Mark!” I scream as he hoists me over his shoulder. “No!”

“The best way to overcome your fears is to face them head first.”

“I’m not kidding! If you do this, I’ll smother you in your sleep!” I promise as I slap his back and flail my legs. “Don’t!”

“It’s really important to know your surroundings. Here, I thought you were a spy,” he chides. “You should never let your guard down, babe. You never know when a predator is around.” His taunting is not cute.

We’re now clearly
in
the water. Mark seems to be completely fine with the temperature. He acts like he’s forging into bathwater. Stupid man.

“I hope your balls shrink into your throat. Maybe then I won’t be able to find them to rip them off!” He spins me around as water splashes around me. I slap his ass, which causes him to do it again. “Goddammit, Mark! Put me down!”

Mark lets out a chuckle, but his forward motion doesn’t stop. “Be careful what you ask for,” he warns.

He keeps walking deeper into the ocean as if the loud slapping against his skin is a featherlight touch. I start punching. Maybe that will deter him. “Don’t do it!” I threaten.

Instead of heeding my warning, the son of a bitch drops into a sitting position, submerging us both.

We come up for air. I glare. He glares back. Then I lunge for him. “You asshole!”

He laughs and splashes me as I try to catch him. “Gotta catch me if you’re going to kill me.” This is truly his advantage. He plunges back into the water, which is when I know I’m truly in trouble. I start to move as fast as I can toward shore, but his hands wrap around my ankles. As he yanks back, I fall forward and go under.

When I come up, he’s laughing hysterically. He moves slowly as I stand with my arms crossed over my chest.

“I hate you!” I spew the words.

“You don’t.”

“I do.”

“Not believing you,” he says. He’s standing close enough that I have to tip my head back to see his eyes. “You’re so beautiful.”

I fight the smile that begins to form. “You’re in so much trouble.”

His arms wrap around me and bring me flush against him. “I knew you would back out. This was me vetting my opponent.”

“Dead.”

“I’ll take the risk.”

He dips his head and then his lips brush against mine. I breathe him in, trying to memorize this moment. As angry as I want to be, I’ve never had so much fun. Felt so carefree and . . . safe. He brings out the playful side of me but always seems to be watching what’s going on. Mark is so much more than what he lets people see.

I stand here in his arms with our lips barely touching. The sun is behind me, casting its beautiful glow on us both. Mark’s eyes are warm, his heart is large, and for some reason, he’s trying with me. I’m far from an easy person to love. I’m not warm and fuzzy or open and honest. I’m stubborn, manipulative, cunning, and ready to crush anyone who stands in my way, because I’ve had to be. This though, is petrifying. It’s allowing someone into a heart I didn’t know I had.

Neither of us speak. The motion of the waves shifts us closer together. His lips press harder, and my arms wrap around his neck. Time drifts by us, just like the tide. I’m no longer cold, angry, or even upset. He warms me from the inside. I allow my fears to follow the current out into the great unknown. I have no more control over my heart than I do of the moon.

Mark’s lips touch the tip of my nose. “What have you done to me?”

I search his eyes. “I could ask you the same thing. You make me feel like I’m drifting.”

“I’ll keep you secure. I won’t let you float away.” Mark spins me so my back is to his chest. “See that out there?” he asks. I stare at nothing.

“See what?”

His arms wrap around me while he rests his chin on my shoulder. “It’s a clean slate. There’re no rules right here. We’re not defined by our jobs. It’s just us, open. You’re anyone you want to be.”

I recline into his embrace. “Sounds like we’re going on a mission.”

“The only mission is us.”

“And what are the risks?”

“That you’ll fall in love with me.”

“Is that so?”

I laugh as his arms tighten. “Yeah, I’d say the chances are high.”

I peer at him from the side. “I’m not so sure.”

“I never fail.”

Mark tilts down, pressing his lips to mine before I can retort. The kiss is short, but poignant. I feel it deep into my bones. He’s right. I’m doomed. I’ve already fallen in love with him, and that shouldn’t have happened. I won’t stand idly by and have something catastrophic happen. He’ll get shot this time, or worse. I’ll have to avenge the death of another person I love. I’ll lose the two men I’ve loved in my life, and realize all too late that I’m the black cloud.

“I worry about this.” I admit the abridged version of my thoughts.

He rubs his hands up and down my arms. “I would expect nothing less. Your mind is a scary place, beautiful.”

“You know I’m not one of those girls, right?”

His hands drop, and I turn to peer up into his face. I want to read his emotions. “Do tell,” he says with arms crossed.

“I don’t need—or want—you to call me every day, telling me you miss me. I don’t need flowers. Feel free to buy me purses though,” I throw in offhandedly. “And I don’t care if you sleep with other people. This isn’t a real relationship. This is fucking. Really good fucking. Fantastic even, but I won’t love you, you won’t love me, and we’ll be just fine. Oh . . .” I need to make my last point. “Don’t think I have to answer to you, either. I’m no one’s lapdog.”

Mark’s eyes narrow.

He stares without speaking.

And still nothing.

I throw my hands up. “Speak!”

He doesn’t respond verbally. No, he’s much too aggressive for simple conversation. He steps forward, grips my arms, and crushes his mouth against mine. His tongue presses forward, pushing against mine. His hands tighten as he pulls me so close that I think I could fade into him. I twist and push against him, but he controls himself more. Each swipe of his tongue against mine warms me. My breathing becomes erratic as I lose myself in his touch.

I could do nothing but kiss him all day and die happy.

Mark tears his mouth from mine, and I gasp for air. “First, fuck you and your stupid speech. You’ll answer my calls, and you’ll call me because, contrary to what you say, you like me. I’ll drive to DC just to fuck you, or because I actually miss your frustrating ass. You’ll cuddle the flowers, bears, or whatever stupid shit I send you, because secretly you love it.” His lust has turned to anger. “And I would never boss you around because that’s not who we are. But each time you try to push me away, Charlie,” he pauses as I stand before him stunned, “it’s because I scare you. It’s because you can imagine yourself falling for me, and you don’t know what to do with that.”

“Mark—” His hands cup my face, and his mouth comes back for more. My fingers fist in his hair. I pull at the wet strands as I leap into his arms and wrap my legs around him. His stupid speech. His stupid mouth that I can’t get enough of. Let’s not even talk about how turned on I am thinking of him having to drive up because he needs me.

Mark’s hands grip my ass and hold me against him as he sinks back down and allows the water to cover us. Our tongues slide and push against each other. His fingers slide through my hair as he tilts my head.

I fight for control.

I lose the battle.

“I’m going to fuck you now,” he informs me.

“The hell you are.”

“Shut up and take it.” The deep timbre of his voice sends shivers down my spine. He slips his hand between us and thrusts a finger deep inside. “So hot. You’re so fucking hot. You make it impossible to think of anything but getting my dick inside you.”

“Oh, God,” I moan as he pumps his fingers. He pushes another one in and my head falls back. Mark spins us around so his body blocks the view of any possible onlookers. “I want you so bad.”

“I know you do, beautiful.”