Defended & Desired (17 page)

The thought startled her but she didn’t want to investigate that realization right now. She just wanted to be with him.

The jazz tune ended and claps rose up from the audience spread out across the lawn. The bassist walked to the microphone, adjusting it to his height. “I want to give a shout out to my little brother and his new fiancée as of tonight.”

The young couple to their left smiled and lifted their Coors Lights in recognition. “Thanks,” the guy shouted back.

“Yeah-hah!” the guitarist belted out in response. “Congrats, Danny’s little brother!”

Leaning forward, Devon said to the girl, “Now you have to show off your ring.”

Beaming, the young woman tucked her short blonde hair behind her ear, blushed and held out her left hand. A small heart-shaped diamond sparkled in the setting sun.

“Beautiful,” Devon admired.

Trey fell unusually silent. “Babe, I have to admit something,” he finally said, a slight strain in his voice. She’d never been good at declarations of emotion, and her pulse thundered in her ears. “About my past.”

It had been ages since she’d found herself in a budding relationship. Usually, by the time she made it to this point with a guy, she’d found plenty of excuses to leave and was halfway out the door. “I understand,” she said slowly, inviting him to share but not yet willing to reveal the heartbreak that had happened to her eight years ago. “We all have a past. Some things we’re proud of, others not so much.”

“I was engaged once,” he stated. Prickles of uncertainty scattered over her skin. “Before we go forward in our relationship, you should know that.”

Despite her wariness, she figured her spike of insecurity was typical when the man she cared about revealed details of his romantic past.

Taking her silence as an invitation, Trey continued. “We hooked up in high school. Then we broke up, off and on, both of us thinking we’d find something better, different, but never did. Eventually, we just assumed we were supposed to be together since we kept coming back for more. Looking back, I think we were just comfortable. We’d seen each other go through life’s big transitions, all the highs and lows. I turned twenty-eight, she turned twenty-six, and getting married seemed like the next step.”

“That sounds like the right age to think about settling down with someone.” When she’d committed to Dan, she was twenty four and he was twenty six, so young in hindsight. Neither of them had been ready for the long haul, but sometimes a relationship can’t lead anywhere else but to a breakup or marriage.

“For the most part, during the times we got back together Jenna managed to stay clean. But I knew addiction ran in her family, and she never stopped looking for ways to escape her ugly childhood. I guess I shouldn’t have been shocked when she relapsed.”

“That had to be hard.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “When did she relapse?”

“She OD’d on prescription painkillers the week we were supposed to get married.”

“Oh, how awful.” She cupped his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

Hurt lingered in his eyes even though he shrugged. “If it had to happen, at least it was before the wedding. I was taking her to the hospital when I missed the call from my dad.”

What call?
“We all get our connections crossed.”

“Yeah, but if I’d answered, I might’ve saved his life.”

Her mouth fell open. “What?”

Looking off toward the stage, he dropped his chin. “Dad called me for backup when he went to haul in a felon. I wasn’t there for him. He lost his life because of it. I had no idea the message he left would be the last time I ever heard his voice.”

Torment tightened his features. She wanted to absorb his pain and carry it for him. “You couldn’t save two lives at the same time, Trey. Not even Superman can do that.”

He sighed. “No, I guess not.”

But his tone said he didn’t believe that. He felt responsible, and his heartbreak tore her apart. “What happened to the life you did save?”

“Jenna?” He laughed without humor. “She went into rehab, using the money we’d planned for our honeymoon, and met some guy there. We were over, so I didn’t care. She’s still in and out of rehab, mostly out, and still roping people into her crazy schemes. She’s a piece of work.” His jaw tightened. “When I left Vegas, I finally saw how toxic she was.”

“Do you wish things had worked out differently?” she asked, dreading the answer.

“No.” He shook his head, and this time his laugh was genuine. “We would’ve ended up as one of those miserable married couples that stay together for the sake of the kids. Things turned out for the best.” His smile reached his eyes. “Besides, I was waiting for you.”

The words made her heart soar. He’d shared his story of love and loss, inspiring her to do the same. “If things had turned out different eight years ago, I wouldn’t be here with you either.”

“Tell me about it.” He swept both her legs over one thigh, wedging her left shoulder against his chest. Then he looped his arms around her waist, enclosing her in a protective circle.

She appreciated the gesture more than words, as she prepared to delve into memories of one of the worst day of her life. “I could tell something was wrong with Daniel the week before our wedding. He seemed distant, distracted. Whenever I tried to be affectionate or talk about last minute details, it was like he’d checked out. I figured it was typical bachelor jitters. He assured me everything was fine, but I should’ve listened to my instincts.”

Trey stared at her intently, allowing her to continue at her own pace as her thoughts unspooled.

“We met in ROTC, graduated college, and then used our army computer skills to enter the workforce. We were hired by the same company, but he ended up becoming my superior. That’s when we became more than friends. We’d planned the wedding to match our two year anniversary, and while the ceremony wasn’t grand, I’d worked so hard to make it come together on our small budget. My mom had always struggled when it came to money, but she somehow scraped together the cash to buy the material to make my wedding dress. It was beautiful, with pearls and lace and a long satin train. The first time I tried it on I felt like Cinderella and we both cried.”

Sinking her toes into the warm grass beside them, she sighed at her one sweet memory during that time then spoke in a rush, “I stood at the back of the church and the music started playing, I looked down the aisle but didn’t see Dan in front of the altar. I thought maybe he’d planned some grand entrance, since he’d always been a showman. So I went down the aisle by myself, stood on the steps by the minister and waited.” Misery collected in her throat. “And waited. He never came. He left me at the altar on our wedding day.”

Trey’s jaw dropped and anger clouded his gaze. “How could he do that to you?”

Repressed sensations of hurt and abandonment traveled through her veins like shards of broken glass leading straight to her heart.
I don’t know,
she tried to say, except she couldn’t push the words past the lump of unshed tears in her throat. Though she had her suspicions. Facing a future with a woman who couldn’t bear him children had turned a decent man into a cold, heartless deserter.

Clearing her throat, she shoved those memories back down into a box in her psyche marked Do Not Open. “You know what’s crazy? Dan tried to connect with me on Facebook a couple months ago. I didn’t reply. What was I going to say? ‘Gee, great to hear from you after you walked out on me in front of a church full of people.’ Some things are better left alone.”

With a disgusted huff, Trey shook his head. “What an idiot. He had a serious mental defect. Any guy who could walk away from you doesn’t deserve you.”

She leaned her head on his broad shoulder, and he rested his cheek against her hair.

“For the record,” he stated, “I’m not an idiot. I know a good thing when I’ve found it.”

I won’t walk away from you.
The suggestion underlying his words sent a flutter through her chest. A warm glow spread from her head to her toes. She snuggled closer to him, wishing they were alone so they could physically explore their raw, heartfelt moment.

Why did Trey have to be so perfect? She believed she’d found the real thing, the right man, just when she was about to leave. Then again, she never would’ve pursued their attraction if she had known from the start she might fall for him. Life was either wretchedly unfair or had tricked her into her present situation. She wasn’t sure which was worse—or better. Nothing made sense except being here in his arms. She tried hard to trust that things would work themselves out. She also wanted to hate this sense of limbo and uncertainty. Yet if indecision bought her more time with him, she’d pay that price. He was the best thing that had happened to her years.

The band finished the last song of their set, and he glanced at her with anticipation glinting in his eyes. “Want to head back to my place and see Peanut?”

She leaped to her feet. “Yes!”

He chuckled. “I figured.”

They packed up their picnic, left the park, and drove in the direction of his house. Her usual concerns about going to a guy’s place and spending the night rattled around in her brain. She’d made a long-standing habit of bringing lovers to her house. That way she’d never know too much about their lives or the intimate details of their surroundings. That made her temporary romances easier to discard. In her own home, she felt confident and in control. She could kick the guy out whenever she wanted.

Going home with Trey flew in the face of her usual self-preservation. But this was Trey, and she trusted him. She wanted to see his home and all the nuances and aspects of him, the things that surrounded him, that meant something to him. In a way, she wanted to become a part of him. She wanted to be a piece that fit into the secure puzzle of his life. Even if that made her insecure, off-kilter, and not in control.

“I adore you,” she said, leaning across the car’s arm rest to kiss his cheek.

Smiling, he gave a quiet nod. “Same.”

The three-quarter moon shone brightly, erasing the stars within the wide circumference of its glow. The ethereal effect cast the woods, fields and houses they passed in a muted blue-gray hush with random pops of glitter.

Trey downshifted and slowed his car, taking a left into a gravel driveway.

When they’d briefly discussed his architecture plans in passing, she’d pictured a squat little ranch in need of massive updates. The layout that sprawled before her dwarfed her two story townhouse by at least a thousand square feet.

Lifting up on the leather seat, she glimpsed through a monstrous window straight from the front of the home to the back, where the Denver skyline twinkled in the distant valley. Considering the massive scale of the addition he’d described, the house would top out at five or six thousand square feet.

The man didn’t dream small. She grinned, picturing the barn with stables he’d envisioned in the sprawling field to the left of the house. The right portion of the property harbored dense woods as far as she could see, with no glimmer of a neighbor’s lights in view. He’d chosen well, she thought, thoroughly amazed by her first impression of the estate. Once he placed his personal signature on the expanse, it would certainly be considered
an estate.

“I’m sure Peanut will be thrilled you’re here,” he said, leading her to his front porch where he’d left the lights on in their antique carriage house sconces.

She looked forward to seeing her baby, running her fingers through his soft fur. Trey unlocked and opened his front door. She heard the sweet scrape of Peanut’s claws as he scampered across the tile toward her.

“Peanut!” She lowered to her knees and hugged his furry little body. He licked her face and yipped with enthusiasm.

When Trey closed the door, Peanut wriggled in her grasp then abandoned her to greet his new best friend. Trey bent and patted Peanut’s head. “Hey, big guy. I brought your mama to see you.”

Peanut pawed Trey’s shins, wanting more affection. Totally ignoring her. Feeling replaced, she shot Trey a dirty look. “I guess you two have gotten along just fine without me.”

He scratched behind Peanut’s ears and shrugged. “I fed him every night and we watched TV reruns of Walker Texas Ranger. I guess he goes for kibbles and cowboys.”

“Humph.” She crossed her arms and stood. She eyed Peanut who practically had a conniption trying to get Trey’s attention. “You little traitor,” she muttered.

“Peanut’s still your baby,” Trey assured. “I’m just the new alpha male in the pack. Once he gets used to me being around you, and we’re together in this house, he’ll be all yours again.”

Her spine snapped straight. He’d made a rather bold string of assumptions without batting an eye.

To her surprise, instead of getting defensive, she relaxed. This definitely didn’t bode well for her heart. Even more surprising, that didn’t bother her or send her running for cover behind her prickly defenses. He’d gotten to her.  And she wasn’t getting away.
A thrill chased through her.

“Do I get the tour?” she asked, glancing at the shadowy surroundings.

“Later.” He pulled her into his arms. The stiffness in his pants pressed against her hip like a hot brand. “Right now, you’re mine. I want you naked in my bed.” His mouth claimed hers and he lifted her off her feet, carrying her to his bedroom.