Deeper (The Deeper Chronicles #1) (30 page)

She took a few steps, walking away.

Avi kept walking. Then she sprinted to the nearest exit.

With the emergency door within reach, she hurried toward it. Her breaths were shallow, and it wasn’t until the fresh air washed over her face and filled her lungs that she allowed herself to inhale and exhale properly. She was thankful there weren’t any nosey reporters lurking at the side door she walked through.

She paused for a second before walking down the block. The farther she moved from the church, the louder Noah’s friends’ voices snagged on her psyche.

“Remember that one time when Harry tried to cook a whole chicken?”
Gavin had asked inside the church.

The warm laughter that followed tugged everyone’s cheekbones up except Avi’s. They all had memories she’d never have. Memories she’d never have an opportunity to make.

Avi hurried across the street. The entire day had drained her emotionally. Everyone’s stories had been a double-edged sword: they showed Harry’s enjoyment of his fatherly duties, things he had never done with her.

The sunny blue skies from earlier had vanished, and the darkening evening matched Avi’s turbulent emotions. In all her twenty-four years, she’d never desired a father.

“Well, that’s a damn lie,” she muttered under her breath.

How many father-daughter dances had she pretended not to be interested in so her mother wouldn’t worry?

And Ellie...she did the job of both mother and father, but Avi was left to teach herself how to ride a bicycle and how to defend herself. There was never anyone to call her princess, because there was no king at her castle.

Avi sniffed, pausing on the sidewalk near a boutique. She used the pretty dresses reflected in the mirror to soothe her. Her eyes landed on one made from whimsical material.

There’ll be no one to walk me down the aisle if I’m ever crazy enough to marry.
She was all over the place, lost in the fog that appeared on the glass from her warm breath. Avi faced the street, leaning on the store window while she reflected on her past romantic choices. All of them forgettable, and none of them worth her time. Another lesson her father never got to teach her—how to tell a boy from a man.

To think, Harry was alive and well all along and living in Brooklyn, unaware of the lonely, brown-skinned daughter he had sired, who would never learn who she was or where she came from.

“...the father I never had...”
Ro’s earlier words jerked Avi back to the present.

Her lips thinned.

Harry had dispensed fatherly wisdom to men and women who weren’t biologically his, while Avi went lacking in Norland. It didn’t matter that Harry had known nothing about Avi. She was mad, jealous, and yes, disappointed—she was those things and more. It didn’t make sense to be envious of Noah and his friends, but she was, and she didn’t know how to resolve it. They had needed Harry as much as she did.

She blew out a breath. Her stomach took that moment to yell its displeasure at being neglected. Her belly concaved in hunger, her feet ached, and she was cold despite wearing a jacket. In her haste, she had forgotten her clutch on the pew. With her head down, she walked gingerly as she contemplated her options.

“Looking for a ride?”

Turning toward the voice, Avi cracked a grateful smile at her rescuer inside the SUV. He was always on time, right when bleakness was about to overwhelm her. The iridescent gray monstrosity stopped, blocking traffic. Walking toward the man whose pleased dark eyes were going to be her undoing, she paused near the open window.

“How did you know where I was?” Instead of gratitude, snark flew from her lips. She regretted it right away.

He stepped from the car. His height and lean build were accentuated by his muscled frame draped in a tailored suit. Distracted by the sight, she stumbled and would have fallen had his strong arm not extended to save her.

“Didn’t I tell you I’ve got you?” he asked, reciting the same words from earlier in the day.

“I-I don’t want to go back.” There was too much pressure back at the church. Too many things she couldn’t really express, and way too many emotions she didn’t understand but felt anyway.

He was silent for so long she believed he planned on forcing her to go to the burial site as well. She mentally prepared herself for another battle with Noah, because no way was she going back.

“Don’t worry about it. I handled everything.”

She sagged into him, relieved. Noah’s scent invaded her nose, just like the man had done since their first meeting. “Thank you.” Still curious about how he was in front of her and not back at the church, she wondered again, “How did you find me?”

“Ro’s right behind you.”

She never bothered to turn, glad that he had his unorthodox methods. “Thank you,” she mumbled.

“I’ve got you.”

His heart pulsed under her palm.

N
oah helped Avi into the vehicle then stepped away to thank Ro for being a friend and dutiful employee. She was back, and that was all he cared about. He’d felt close to strangling the man who had dared to interrupt Harry’s services, but it was when Avi left that it had dawned on him that the day wasn’t
only
about his stifling grief.

Ever since the night he’d blasted her in her apartment and shared
how
her father died, Avi had been quiet. Noah had been so caught up with funeral preparations and hunting for his friend’s killer that he never gave Avi’s pain any consideration. She wasn’t showing any of the usual signs of mourning, and though he wasn’t used to dealing with it,
maybe
if he’d been more present, she wouldn’t have run away from the church.

While he had his head up his ass, Ro had followed Avi. It gave Noah the opportunity to calm down and give instructions about the rest of Harry’s remains and how to handle the medal Avi was given. Now, as he settled beside her, he wanted to make her feel included,
if
she felt as if she wasn’t part of Harry’s life.

“What happened at the church back there shouldn’t have happened,” Noah said. If they had been any other place, there’d be two less cops.

“I probably shouldn’t have ran out of there like that. I don’t know...it was just too much.”

That was understandable. Never sleeping last night, he had lain awake still in disbelief that in a few hours he’d bury Harry.

Avi’s stomach chose that moment to growl. Her nervous laugh was cute.

“That was embarrassing, but I’m so hungry.”

Noah pressed a button near him. “Zach, head over to my place on Sixth Avenue.”

“Sure thing, Mr. Adams.”

“What’s there?” Avi asked.

“Best hot dog place ever.”

She harrumphed, eliciting a smile from him.

“Can’t beat Sierra’s.”

“What’s a Sierra?” Noah asked, turning toward her.

“She serves the best hot dogs in Norland.” She made a kissing sound using her lips and fingers.

They both laughed. Noah liked her like this: light-hearted and grinning. There was color coming back to her face, and her eyes weren’t so distant. Yeah, he much preferred this Avi to the shell of a woman who was stoic and stiff, walking around his home for the last five days.

Thirty minutes later, Avi was still chewing the last of her hot dog, while he’d been done a while. She sank back into the seat, her hair swinging now that it was free of its ponytail.

“I told you it was good.”

He laughed when a small burp came from between her opened lips. Her hand smashed over her mouth then her eyes widened. Noah chuckled at her look of disbelief.
Women.
They get so embarrassed over small shit.

“Oh, my good—”

He countered with a loud belch. They both burst out, with cackles from him and a few snorts from her, which only made him laugh longer.

“I can’t believe you did that,” she said through a sexy grin.

He was tempted to pull her close. She was so open and vulnerable right now. Avi and Noah said nothing; both continued staring at each other.

He broke the silence, saying, “Take a ride with me.”

“I am taking a ride with you,” she came back with a cheeky response.

She lowered her head, cutting off his view of her face. Noah realized she was taking off her shoes. Then he heard her sigh. His fingers itched to reach for her. She sat upright, and was about to lean back.
Fuck it.
His fingers curled over her forearm. He felt her stiffen then relax as he pulled her closer to his side. It was perfection, similar to how her shoes on the floor looked near his discarded jacket and tie that were on a seat.

He could feel her staring up at him, but he couldn’t look at her. Not yet. A corner of his lip tilted up. Any minute now, the Avi he was coming to know would appear. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you.”

His sight lowered to her bright face. “If it’s making you blush like that, you should definitely tell me.” Just as he was about to reward himself with a touch of her skin, she averted her gaze and eased away from him.

“Your head will be even bigger than it is, but I like seeing you like this.”

He hid his smile. “I’ll remember that.” He pressed the intercom again. “Zach, drop us off when you can. We’re going to walk to the park.”

“I’ve been here in New York City for three months and still can’t get used to how fast things move here.” She blew out a breath. “There’s always something to do or see. So unlike where I’m from.”

Noah turned to face her. “Sometimes, having a lot to do isn’t a good thing.” When the car stopped, he asked, “Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

Noah was the first to exit then extended a hand to Avi.

“I don’t know why we torture ourselves,” she muttered, allowing him to pull her out of the car.

Noah’s eyes traveled down her form.

“Women. We torture ourselves.” She shook her head at his confused expression. “Never mind. Just know that these shoes weren’t meant for walking.”

“I like you in heels, makes your legs look sexy as fuck.” He didn’t regret his confession. The way her gaze strayed to his lips made him want to hurry up and take her to his bed.

“Um...”

Noah’s fingers grazed her chin, pushing it up when she tried to hide from him. “Don’t worry about your shoes. The park is a block away. We’ll sit, talk, and come right back.”