Deeper Illusions (34 page)

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Ryan

Alexis is pulling her bullshit again. I really need to have some kind of sympathy for her, because I know how much she has always struggled with her illness, but it’s difficult sometimes. I hate to be selfish, but it always seems to come at the very worst time.

Like the day my wife has to go in for her deposition.

“Where are we going?” Alexis asked from the backseat.

“To your house to get you some clothes, then to the treatment facility,” I tell her.

“The same place I always go?”

“Yeah, that place.”

She said nothing more, just looked out the window.

“I have to start meeting different people,”
Nick whispered. “Why do I always end up with such nutcases?”

“Come on, now, Nick, you’ve known Alexis for as long as I have. You have always known that she is unstable. Always. Yet, here you are, thinking that she’s suddenly going to be this different person.”

“Rielle is another one,” Nick said. “I swear to god, that woman has some kind of personality disorder. Like narcissism or something. She literally cannot see any point of view but her own.”

“How are the settlement talks going?”

“They’re not. She wants just about everything. The Lake Como house, the Mission Hills house, all the paintings, half of the money, everything. She’s demanding $50,000 a month in child support, and $25,000 a month in alimony. That’s on top of what she’s demanding in the property settlement. I have no idea why she thinks that she’s entitled to all that. She’s demanding well over half the property.”

“What does your lawyer say?” I ask him, thinking again about how I had to force Iris to take a single penny from me. My wife really is one of a kind.

“Pound sand. She wants everything because she’s going to have primary custody of the kids. Not that I want that, either, but she’s talking about me being unfit because I’m some kind of sex addict or something.” Then he shrugged. “Eh, maybe she has a point. I have had a lot of partners of both sexes over the years.”

I did
n’t say anything. My best friend is the biggest manwhore I know, but he always has been. I don’t think that he’s addicted so much as he just likes sex. A lot. I have never been able to see him and Rielle together. She’s so uptight - if you put a lump of coal up her ass, you would have a diamond in less than a year. Nick is the opposite of that. He’s a free spirit sexually.

We arrived at Nick and Alexis’ house
, which was soon going to be just Nick’s house. “Nick, go in there with her and make sure she gets dressed ok,” I said. “And make sure that she packs a bag with about a week’s worth of clothing, shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush and whatever toiletries she needs.”

“Sure,” Nick said, getting Alexis out of the backseat of the car. “Come on, Alexis, let’s go in and put some clothes on you
, and get a bag packed.” He was talking to her like a child. I wondered if he was aware of this fact.

Nick and Alexis came back out not ten minutes later. Alexis w
as wearing jeans and a sweater, and was carrying a bag. Her face was washed, and her hair was brushed. She looked almost respectable.

“I want to die,” Alexis was saying
, after she got back in the car and we drove off. “I want to drive my car off of a bridge into the water and drown.”

“You don’t want to die,” I said. “Your brain chemistry is out of wack again, but we’re going to help you fix it.” Again, I thought. Sometimes I think that I’m going to go through this with this woman fo
r the rest of my life. I sure was glad that I was married to such an understanding woman, otherwise Alexis would become an enormous problem.

“What’s the use?” Alexis asked. “I have no job, no babies and no husband.”

“No job?” I asked, looking at Nick. Nick obviously knows about this, because his face registered no surprise. “What happened to your job?”

“They canned me after the Herm
és incident,” she said. “I haven’t had the energy to find a new one.”

I sighed. Alexis was a partner at one of the
largest law firms in town. She was not independently wealthy, because her parents cut her off. She relied on her salary, which was substantial – a high six figure. I doubted that she had a penny in savings, and I knew that she didn’t have any property. She ran through everything I gave her in the divorce to support her drug habit and her spending addiction.

I had no idea what she was going to do now for money.

I felt a feeling of dread, knowing that it was going to be a short period of time before she was going to start harassing me again to give her money and property - money and property that would end up going down the drain, just like all the rest of the money and property she used to have. Oh, well, she can’t blackmail me again like she did before. The whole world already knew everything there was to know about me, so who cares anymore?

I turned to Nick. “
Did you know about this?”

“Sure,” he said. “I found out the day it happened.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t know, I guess I didn’t see the relevance.”

Sometimes Nick can be so obtuse.

Now was not the time to try to figure out what Alexis was going to do for money from here on out. Although I was tempted to harangue her about it. I was not responsible for her anymore, but I knew that she
would somehow, someway, make me take responsibility for her. If she couldn’t blackmail me into it, she could certainly guilt me into it. Like she has the entire time I have known her.

“Don’t worry about me, Ryan,” Alexis said. “I’m not going to be alive much longer.”

I willed myself not to roll my eyes at that one. She had been saying that forever. Every time she spiraled into depression, she says that she doesn’t have long to live. She always talks about offing herself as well. One day she might be like the boy who cried wolf, and I hoped not, because I didn’t want that on my conscience. But I also knew that, as soon as her meds get straightened out again, she’ll be singing a different tune.

Like she always does.

Then she was crying. “Oh, god, I don’t have anything. Nobody loves me. What I wouldn’t give for you to love me again, Ryan.”

Oh, lord, here we go
. I looked at Nick, who shrugged his shoulders.

“Alexis, you’re not with me, you’re with Nick,” I said.

“Stop it,” Nick said. “Don’t remind her.”

“Nick is nothing but a manwhore,
” she said.

Then the two of you are a match made in heaven.

The three of us finally arrived at our destination. The treatment facility was in a shady area, surrounded by trees and wildlife. It didn’t compare to the place in Beverly Hills where I took Iris, and where I, myself, stayed after I had a drug addiction relapse. But it was the best place in town.

“I can’t go here,” she said. “You need to take me to a state hospital. I have no income and no insurance anymore.”

I gritted my teeth, and almost told her not to worry about it. Then I thought I should talk to Nick.

“Nick,” I said. “What do you say we go halfsies on this?”

“Hey, you aren’t in the middle of a messy divorce. I am. I’m not sure if I’m going to have anything more than a barrel to put around my ass after Rielle gets done with me.”

“Why is it always me who has to bail her out?”

“Because nobody else will, buddy. Just you.”

I looked at Alexis, feeling halfway tempted to turn the car around and take her to a state hospital, like she said. Then immediately felt guilty for thinking such a thing. I’ve got the money, and Alexis has been in my life since I was 13. I couldn’t just leave her high and dry. I banished the thought that she has cost me literally millions over the years, with all her rehabs, drugs, rehabs, drugs, spending,
gambling, etc., etc.

“Charity begins at home,” Nick said. “Charity begins at home.”

“Well, we’re gonna check her in, but I can’t stay,” I said. “Iris needs me. Today is very important for her.”

“Iris is a big girl,” Nick said. “She can take care of herself.”

“Even so, I need to be there for her.”

“You’re a little obsessed with that girl,” Nick said. “I mean, I can see why. She’s refreshingly not a gold
-digger, and for anybody in your position, that’s important. But you almost get stalkery and overprotective with her.”

“Of course, I’
m protective of her. Good god, look at what she has gone through, all of which has been directly or indirectly attributable to me. Look at what she’s still going through, with that maniac Andrew out there, literally gunning for her. So, yes, I’m protective of her. She’s the love of my life, and the mother of my child.”

“Listen,” Nick said. “I don’t ask for much from you. I’m asking you this. Stay with me and Alexis today. I can’t handle her alone. You’re used to all of this. I’m not. Iris is fine. Alexis and I need yo
u right now.” Then he raised an eyebrow. The implication was clear – after all he had done for me over the years, I needed to step up to plate for him.

I couldn’t argue with him. He was absolutely right. He hadn’t asked much of me, and I couldn’t count the number of times that he had been there for me. I owe
d him this much.

“Ok,” I said.

“Don’t be so enthusiastic about it, now,” he said.

“Sorry, Ni
ck. My mind is on other things right now. I guess I just resent always having to deal with Alexis like this. I mean, I know that she can’t really help it. But I also fear that I’ll never get away from it. Because, like you said, I’m the only one who is willing to help her. I mean, besides you.”

“Yeah, but even I’m not going to foot her bills. No offense, but I’m not that close to her. Not like you, anyhow.”

After we had our little talk, we approached Alexis, who was hanging around the outside of the facility.

“Don’t worry, Alexis,” I said. “I’ll pay for your treatment.”

She smiled. “Thank you,” she said.

Then we all went inside.

We checked her in, then took a seat in the waiting room. Alexis just stared at the TV above her head, with no expression. Then she looked at me and said “I was just wondering, Ryan, what it would take for you to leave your silly wife.”

“Now, why would you ask that question?”

“No reason. I mean, she divorces you, she leaves you without a forwarding address, she has your child and doesn’t tell you, and she doesn’t come back until she’s dragged back, kicking and screaming. I just think that you deserve so much better.”

“Listen, Alexis,” I said between gritted teeth. “My relationship with Iris is nobody’s business but our own. And today is not about me, it’s about you.
”

She just shrugged her shoulders, and returned her attention to the television set. “I just think that if I did half the things she did, you would’ve kicked me to the curb,” she said, her eyes still glued to the TV.

“Are you really that non self-aware?” I asked. I knew that I was taking the bait, but I couldn’t help myself. “After all the lying, the cheating, the spending, the lying, the drugs, the cheating, the cheating, the cheating that you did to me over the years, and you have the gall to impugn my wife?”

For once, Nick was the sensitive one, as he said “Ryan, you’re talking to a woman with a serious illness here. Maybe you need to be a little more circumspect.”

“I know, I know,” I said. “But I can’t help myself.” I looked over at Alexis, and she had a little evil smile on her face.

I inwardly kicked myself for letting her goad me like that.

The doctor called Alexis’ name. Alexis looked at Nick and me, and said “well, are you guys coming or not?”

We got out of our chairs and accompanied her into the doctor’s office.

“Now,” Dr. Wright said. “What seems to be the problem?”

Alexis looked at me. “Do you want to tell him?”

“Sure,” I said. “Ms. Peters here is suffering from Bi-Polar I disorder. And she needs a medication adjustment.”

I knew the drill by now.

The doctor looked at his chart. “Ok,” he said. “We’ll start you on a course of Geodan, Abilify and Lithium,” he said as he scribbled a prescription. “Do you need to be admitted?”

“Well, I have had suicidal thoughts,” she said.

“Do you have a plan?”

“Yes,” she said. “When I go home, I want to take my car and drive it off a bridge.”

“Ok,” the doctor said. “And how serious are you about this, on a scale from one to ten?”

“A twenty,” she said, looking him in the eye.

“Do you have any other acute symptoms?”

She looked at Nick. “Tell him,” she said.

“She doesn’t sleep much at all,” Nick said. “I haven’t seen her sleep for almost a week. She comes into my room at all hours of the night and turns on the light and the stereo, making sure that I can’t sleep, either. She wants to have sex constantly, she has gotten violent, she has lost thousands of dollars at the casinos in just a few days, and she broke into an Hermés store to get a purse in the middle of the night.”