Deep Down (Lockhart Brothers #1) (12 page)

MY HEARTBEAT HAD FINALLY
returned to a normal pace. It had skyrocketed when Reed walked in the door. I’d never looked twice at hunters who came into the diner dressed in camo but, on Reed, the rugged look was very sexy.

My mouth had watered at the sight of him stepping out of his camo coveralls and dropping them on the floor next to his brown canvas coat. His dark hair had been sticking up from when he’d pulled off his stocking cap and I wanted to fix it. Or maybe I just wanted to run my fingers through it.

When he looked at me, I got warm all over. No man had ever had that effect on me. I’d gone into the kitchen for a drink hoping to run into him.

I didn’t date, but the way Reed made me feel gave me hope. Maybe I wasn’t emotionally ruined after all. Maybe someday, when Noah was grown, I’d want to date again. I doubted it, but having hope was nice.

It was my laundry day, so as soon as knitting club was over, I went upstairs to get Noah. The sound of happy laughter coming from Henry and Grace’s play room made me smile. Noah loved playing with other kids.

But when I opened the door, it wasn’t a kid, but Reed who was making Noah laugh. My throat tightened at the sight of Noah on Reed’s shoulders, brushing his fingers against the ceiling.

My son had never been close to any man but Gene, who was like a grandpa to him. Gene liked to do puzzles and color with Noah. Rambunctious boy play was something Noah didn’t get outside of daycare.

I just watched, enjoying the moment. Seeing my little boy happy was the best feeling in the world. Reed turned and saw me. He smiled sheepishly and lifted Noah off his shoulders and put him back down on the floor.

“I want to touch the ceiling!” Noah cried, reaching his arms out to Reed.

“We have to go, sweetie,” I said, approaching him and getting down on my knees. “We have to do laundry today.”

His face fell.

“How about a scoop of ice cream tonight?” I said. “With chocolate syrup?”

“And spinkles.” His mispronunciation of the word always melted me.

“And spinkles,” I agreed.

“How was your knitting?” Reed asked me.

“It was good. Thanks for playing with Noah.”

“It was fun. He’s a really sweet kid, Ivy. You’ve done a great job.”

His compliment touched me deeply. Being Noah’s mom was more important to me than anything else.

“Thank you.” I took Noah’s hand. “Can you say bye, Noah?”

“Bye,” Noah said so softly it was barely audible.

“Bye, Noah,” Reed said. “Let’s play trains again soon.”

I met Reed’s dark brown eyes one more time before turning to leave the room with Noah. There was an awkward tension of unspoken words between me and Reed. I was out of my element. Noah had warmed up to Reed, but I just couldn’t allow myself to do that.

I RUBBED MY EYES
and put my reading glasses down. The stack of files on my desk was half the size it had been this morning. It was after six pm, and I had to get the hell out of here and get a workout in before the gym closed. I’d been in front of my desk doing research and billing all day.

I was wrapping up my last file for the night when a knocking sound from the front of the office caught my attention. I was the only one left here and the office was closed. Who the hell would knock after hours?

Maybe Lena was locked out. I got up to go see who was at the front door. I was surprised, and not in a good way, when I saw Meredith peeking at me through the glass.

“We’re closed,” I said as soon as I opened the door.

“I know. I just . . . I thought I saw your office light on, so I stopped. If you haven’t eaten, can we have dinner at Jimmy’s?”

I started to say no but she stopped me.

“I only want to talk. If I was trying to get with you, I’d be trying to get into your office right now. If you’ll just hear me out . . . I just think we both need some closure. I know I do.”

I rubbed my unshaven jaw line. I
was
hungry. But I sure as hell didn’t want Meredith getting the wrong idea.

“Alright,” I muttered. “We eat and you get closure and that’s it. If you bring up us getting back together, I’m leaving.”

She nodded and I went back in to get my coat. When I returned she was standing on the curb with her arms wrapped around herself. The bitter November temperatures weren’t letting up.

“Are we walking or meeting there?” I asked.

“Might as well walk, it’s not far.”

We walked the block to Jimmy’s Italian Place in silence. Despite the lackluster name, Jimmy’s had great pizza and spaghetti. A greeter led us to a booth and I loosened my tie before sliding in.

The place was full. I was checking out the new red, green and white stripes on the wall when my gaze stopped on Ivy. She was at a booth across from us, and Noah sat on the other side.

He was laughing about something she’d said, and her face glowed as she smiled at him. I’d never seen this smile from her. It was one of open love and adoration. I wanted to be sitting in that booth with them.

“Reed,” Meredith said, clearing her throat. “Ready to order?”

The waitress was looking at me expectantly. I ordered a pizza and a soda and forced myself to look at Meredith instead of Ivy and Noah.

“How was work today?” she asked.

“Good.”

“I’m working at my dad’s car dealership doing bookkeeping. I thought I’d hate it there, but it’s not so bad.”

I nodded, not caring if she took my lack of interest as rudeness. A few more seconds elapsed before she cleared her throat again.

“So . . . when I came to your office the other day, I was . . .” She sighed and gave me a sheepish look. “I was hoping you still had feelings for me.”

“Meredith, I’m not—”

“Just let me finish, okay? I was hoping, but I wasn’t surprised to find out there’s nothing there for you anymore. It’s been a really long time. I didn’t appreciate what I had with you, and I regret it.”

I leaned my elbows on the table and considered what she’d said, trying to come up with the right thing to say in response. Everything seemed like it would make her think I was open to getting back together, so I stayed quiet.

“I’m sorry, Reed,” she said softly. “I’m not saying that because I think you’ll give me another chance. I’m truly sorry for not showing up that day. It was an awful thing to do and you didn’t deserve it.”

I shrugged nonchalantly. “In the scheme of things, it wasn’t a big deal, Meredith. I’m completely over it and you should be, too.”

I snuck a glance at Ivy and Noah. They were coloring a paper placemat together, both of them smiling happily.

“Do you want to know why?” Meredith asked.

Reluctantly, I met her gaze across the table. “Why what?”

“Why I didn’t show up that day.”

“We weren’t right together. That’s why enough for me.”

“We were, though.” She looked down at the red plastic tablecloth. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want you. I always did. I just caved under the pressure of your last name. Everyone in town is interested in the Lockharts. You’re all attractive and successful and so damn nice. You guys coach and volunteer and run for the school board. I felt really young to be part of all that. I just wanted to travel and have fun . . . with you, but I knew you wouldn’t want to leave your family.”

“No, I wouldn’t have. We wanted different things in life, and that’s okay.”

Meredith shook her head, her expression sad. “I was young and stupid. I ended up with a man who wanted what I thought I did, and it wasn’t all that.”

“You’re still young. Don’t give up on finding what you want.”

“Just not with you,” she said, her tone a mix of sarcasm and amusement.

“Right.”

“You’ve got it bad for the waitress, don’t you?”

“Her name’s Ivy.”

“And you can’t stop looking at her. I saw you guys dancing at the barn dance. So are you guys a thing?”

“No.”

“Why not? You like her and I think she likes you, too.”

I sighed deeply. “I’m not talking about this with you.”

“I hope she’ll be smarter than I was.”

“We’re not dating. She doesn’t date. Don’t start any rumors, Meredith. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

“Alright, alright.” She put her hands up in surrender. “Let’s go back to you staring at her and me pretending not to notice.”

I cracked a smile. “I specifically planned to not settle down when I came back home. I’m here to work, and I keep so busy with everything that it’s not really fair to the other person for me to be in a relationship.”

“But now you’re reconsidering because you like her so much.”

I just looked at her, unwilling to admit or deny it.

“Life’s too short not to go for it,” she said. “Did I ruin you on commitment? Please tell me I didn’t.”

“I haven’t had a committed relationship since you.”

She sighed deeply. “Well, that makes me feel like shit. Most women would give anything for a guy like you, Reed.”

“Yeah, I don’t know.” I rubbed the back of my neck restlessly.

Meredith gave me an intent look. “It wasn’t you. It was me being young and stupid and it’s my greatest regret. I don’t know Ivy very well, but she seems like a woman who needs someone like you in her life.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s super protective of her son. She’s very private. Never goes out, never dates. The signs are all there.”

I furrowed my brow. “What signs?”

“She’s been hurt really bad.”

I sat back against the booth, feeling like I’d had the wind knocked out of me. It made sense. The way she’d reacted when I caught her at the diner, her body tense and afraid. The way her eyes gave me two conflicting messages.

“I can’t stand the idea of someone hurting her,” I said. “It makes me sick. And really fucking angry.”

“What does that tell you? You already feel protective of her. Be man enough to take a chance.”

I looked at Meredith, seeing the woman I’d known so many years ago. “I would, but she doesn’t date.”

“So change her mind.”

I looked over at Ivy and Noah. A plate of spaghetti sat on the table between them. She was cutting it up. When she blew on the first bite before holding the fork out to Noah, my pride became irrelevant. If any man was going to break through her walls and get in, it was damn well gonna be me.