Deathless & Divided (The Chicago War #1) (4 page)

She didn’t even have to think about it.

“You’re just like everybody else. You didn’t care, Dino.”

Sighing, Lily sat straighter and stared forward at the priest of the parish as he took his place, dressed in his robes, and began the rite of Mass. Lily couldn’t say church was particularly her favorite way to spend a Sunday, but she didn’t know anything different.

Even when she backpacked across Europe, she always managed to find a Catholic church to say her grace, pray if needed, and do her penance. Lily wasn’t an angel, but she believed in God. If she didn’t believe in something, then she was supposed to accept those who passed on were forever gone.

She couldn’t do that.

“Are you paying attention?” Dino asked at her side.

“Yes,” Lily replied. “Stop hovering, Dino. I am fine.”

“I’m just checking, Lily.”

“I am fine.”

Fine was a relative term that didn’t apply to Lily. Dino pissed her off by forcing her home when she was doing so well out on her own without the Trentini, DeLuca, Conti, and Rossi families surrounding her. Her oldest brother put her through private school, let her spend most months out of the year away from home, and then signed over a quarter of her inheritance for Lily to use as she saw fit after graduating.

What changed?

Why did he force her back to a place where he should know she didn’t want to be?

“Will you talk to me, now?” her brother asked. “You’ve ignored me for the last two weeks.”

For good reason.

If Lily didn’t ignore Dino, she’d try to rip his throat out with her fingernails.

“I was staying out of trouble, Dino,” Lily said, trying to keep the heat out of her tone. “I checked in like you wanted me to.”

“We had an agreement, Lily. And really, I let you go over that by two years.”

Lily frowned, knowing his statement was true. After she graduated, Dino agreed Lily could backpack across Europe for a year before starting college. Preferably, a college in the states. But she loved traveling, meeting new people, and learning about the world around her. One year turned into two, and then to three. He never once asked her home.

Lily was appreciative her brother let her do what she wanted for as long as he did. He was essentially her guardian until she became an adult. Dino seemed to think he still made all the calls for her. The distance between them had grown over the years. Sure, the eleven-year age difference probably didn’t help, but the more immersed Dino became in the mafia, the less Lily cared. Instead of being angry with the people who hurt them when they were just kids, Dino surrounded himself with them.

“You’re angry with me,” Dino murmured, keeping his gaze locked on the man standing at the altar.

“Very.”

“You needed to come home,” her brother said, completely unaffected. “It was time. You’re a grown woman, Lily. It’s time to accept what that means to
la famiglia
.”

Lily barely held back from scoffing.

The priest surely wouldn’t appreciate that.

“
La famiglia
, Dino? What has the family ever done for me?”

“Raised you.”

“Raised me?”

The question came out as a sharp whisper. Dino winced in response. Lily took a little bit of satisfaction in that.

“Us,” Dino corrected quickly.

“No,
la famiglia
turned us into orphans. And since when is my life of any importance to the Outfit, Dino?”

“It just is, little one.”

Lily’s teeth grinded at his casual use of that pet name.

Again.

“It doesn’t matter,” Dino said softly. “Whatever you think I’m doing is unimportant. What I am doing is for your best benefit, Lily. Trust me.”

“I don’t know anything about what you’re doing, Dino.”

“Well, you’re probably not going to like it either way. Nonetheless, I’m trying to save you a lot of trouble and heartache if you would just give me the chance to do so.”

Nothing her brother said made sense.

Lily was over the runaround.

“I’m a grown—”

“You’re a mafia child,” Dino interjected swiftly. “You’re a born and bred DeLuca. You’re a woman, sure, but you also know what that means. You don’t get to make the choices here, Lily. Follow the rules and everything will be fine.”

Rules
.

She shuddered in the pew, disgusted at the thought of what her brother’s vague words could possibly mean.

“I’ve let you run away long enough,” Dino said, his mouth tugging down into a frown. “It’s time for you to come back to the family and do what we need you to do, now.”

Lily’s heart stopped as she looked her stoic brother over. “What does that even mean?”

“I’ve let you run away long enough,” he repeated simply.

Lily didn’t want to be immersed in their world. As a child, she hadn’t been given a choice. As an adult, it should be only hers. She was not some pretty Mafioso
principessa
for her brothers to show off and dangle in front of others’ eyes.

She was
her
.

It was her life.

“Dino—”

Lily’s words were drowned out by the sound of the congregation standing.

“Please,” Lily heard Father Garner say from the altar as she also stood, “… join me in a Mea Culpa to cleanse our souls and minds for the beginning of this Mass.”

Dino smirked. “Funny how that works. It’s automatically assumed we’ve sinned—that we’re all sinners in need of repenting. We’re not even given the option to be saints.”

“We are sinners,” Lily muttered.

Their whole family was full of them.

Dino shrugged. “We are.”

“Confíteor Deo omnipoténti, et vobis, fratres, quia peccávi nimis …”

“I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned …” The words echoed through the church from two-hundred or more voices. It was almost melodic in effect, healing to some, she knew. A way of asking for forgiveness alongside everyone else so you didn’t have to do it alone.

For some, it was the confession they would never give otherwise.

“
Cogitatióne, verbo, ópere et omissióne
,” Dino murmured in perfect Latin.

“In my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do,” Lily said along with the congregation to follow the priest’s words in English.

Something in the corner of her eye caught Lily’s attention. Subtly, so it still seemed as if she were staring at the front, Lily turned her head and glanced to the side. Across the aisle stood a man she hadn’t noticed earlier. With his head slightly bowed and his lips moving along with the prayer, it looked as though he was fully engrossed in the confession.

Except he was staring at her, too.

“
Mea culpa
,” rang out from the crowd of worshippers.

The next would come louder, Lily knew.

She was still stuck staring at the man. His eyes were a steel-blue. Dark hair fell over his gaze as he blinked and tilted his chin upward in Lily’s direction. The action surprised her though she didn’t know why. With chiseled features, a jaw wrought tight, an expression born from indifference, and a stance that spoke of an uncaring confidence, he reminded her of stone. Hard and cold. Beautiful ice, maybe.

There was something else about him, too. Something familiar. Like she maybe knew this man. It wouldn’t be such a shock, considering the people who gathered at this church had been going for years. As did her family.

Who was he?

“
Mea culpa
.”

The man flashed a quick smile and Lily turned away.

“
Mea máxima culpa
,” she whispered.

It was only when the prayer turned to English for the verse did she realize that she could distinguish the man’s voice in the people around her. She focused on the deep tenor in the pew across from hers just three feet away.

She shot him another look, not even caring if her brother noticed her staring or sudden distraction. The man was still watching her, too.

“Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault,” he said.

Who are you
, Lily wondered. 

“
My bad
,” the man mouthed.

Mea Culpa.

“Lily DeLuca, look at you,” Terrance Trentini said with a smile that was far too wide for Lily’s liking. She stayed still as he hugged her, held her cheeks in both his palms, and kissed her forehead. “You’ve grown up into a beautiful young woman,
mia bella
.”

“Thank you,” Lily said quietly.

She didn’t like this man.

In fact, she didn’t like any of the men or most of the women gathering in the foyer to welcome Lily and Dino into the large Trentini mansion. She knew better than to think that way—Lily didn’t know most of them enough to say whether or not she liked them. What she did know about them, some of them, bothered her.

Lily wished Dino would have warned her about the lunch after church.

“You should be proud of this girl, DeLuca,” Terrance said to a silent Dino.

Dino only smiled in response, but it didn’t feel true.

“Oh, we’re proud,” came a voice from behind Terrance.

Lily couldn’t help but grin at Theo as he came to stand beside Terrance. She hadn’t seen him since arriving back to Chicago. Theo and Dino didn’t get along well. Despite her misgivings about her brothers at times, Lily did miss them.

Especially Theo. At twenty-seven-years-old, he was closer to Lily’s age than Dino.

“Welcome home,” Theo said.

“Thanks,” Lily replied.

“Don’t let the crowd bother you,” Terrance said. “It’s larger than normal; Ben wanted to properly welcome his niece back.”

Lily beat back the scowl threatening to form at her uncle’s name. Terrance hadn’t lied. Guessing by the number of voices coming from the connecting room, there were a lot of people. She knew some of the faces from spending her summers and holidays in Chicago during her years at private school. They weren’t strangers to her, but she didn’t feel entirely comfortable around them, either.

She quickly glanced over some of the faces, taking them in so she knew who was there. Joel Trentini’s sisters, Abriella and Alessa, stood off in the corner, talking quietly to one another. Their parents, Sara and Peter, weren’t very far away. The DeLuca siblings grew up calling them their aunt and uncle, although there was no real relation.

Lily also recognized the face of Tommas Rossi as he tossed a wink in Abriella Trentini’s direction before acting like it hadn’t even happened. She suspected if Tommas was there, the rest of his family was somewhere in the home, too.

One of the faces Lily knew and found instantly was Evelina Conti. The girl had gone to the same private schools Lily attended. As teens, they were mostly inseparable. But where Lily had been allowed to go on and do her own thing, the Conti family didn’t let Evelina or the girl’s younger brother, Adriano, do anything that wasn’t to the Outfit’s benefit.

“Lily!”

Evelina pushed past the men blocking her way, including Theo. Lily almost missed the way Theo tried to avoid staring at Evelina.

Almost.

She figured it wasn’t important at that moment.

Lily accepted the embrace from her friend, hiding her grin in Evelina’s hair. “God, I missed you.”

“We just talked a couple of days before you came home,” Evelina said, laughing.

“So?”

“Yeah, I know. I missed you, too.” Evelina pulled back from Lily just enough to showcase that knowing smile of hers before whispering, “I know you’re pissed, but I’m glad to have you back. It’s fucking terrible here without you. You make it fun.”

Lily made a face. “Later?”

“Later,” her friend agreed.

“How was Europe?” Joel Trentini asked as he took Lily’s cardigan and Dino’s suit jacket.

“Beautiful,” Lily said honestly. “I would have preferred to stay another year.”

“Ah, but you have business here, my dear,” Terrance said with another one of his wide smiles.

Dino gave Lily a look that silenced her before she could even say a thing. “She does. We’re getting to that.”