Death Sentences (20 page)

The student was overflowing with enthusiasm.

It was possible that if they explained the situation, the university would allow them to use the computers for linguistic analysis.

If the results were good, they would have support for their speculations about this being a work by Artaud.

If that were indeed true-it would be a truly important discovery.

Sakakibara's heart was pounding.

But there was another pressing question.

Not only was there the question of who Who May was, but they also had to figure out the meaning behind "the gold of time."

Just then the door to the workspaces opened.

Mishima Keiko and Miyagami had come up.

Miyagami was carrying a large tray with both hands. He had brought cups of coffee for everyone.

"We're finished below. Here, for you."

Keiko returned the original copy of the proposal that she had entered on the word processor to Sakakibara.

"So, how are things moving along here? Is there anything that I can help with?"

"Let's

Sakakibara looked at the clock.

It was already close to two in the morning.

"It's about time to call it a day. There's always tomorrow-"

As he looked around the room, Kasadera nodded with a look of exhaustion.

"Great, then, about these manuscripts-"

Sakakibara was comparing the three manuscripts laid out on the table while sipping his coffee, deep in thought.

Then he spoke.

"I'm going to take these home for the time being, to look them over. Could you make me a copy of them?"

"No problem, I'll do it right away."

Mishima Keiko reached across and took the manuscripts.

"Sorry, but, could you do one for me, too-" Kasadera called after her.

Kasadera had already translated six books from French. Of the Kirin staff his reading skills in French were by far the best.

Not counting the graduate students, and after Kasadera, Sakakibara and Keiko had the best French skills. Of the two, she had the best conversational skills.

Kojima and Miyagami had better abilities in English and Spanish than in French. Between the two of them, they covered both North American and Latin American literatures.

While Keiko made the copies, Sakakibara and the others began cleaning things up.

They first put Breton's trunk carefully back into its crate and stored it.

Sakakibara and Kasadera took care of putting all the original materials taken from the trunk into hard cases, labeling them, and filing them in the cabinets.

Mishima Keiko had completed the copies.

"I made one for myself, too," she said, handing a thick stack of papers bound with a clip to Sakakibara and Kasadera.

The original manuscripts, like the other materials, were stored in cases, which Kasadera put away in the cabinets.

The students finished filing things on the desk.

"All right, let's go."

"Good job, everyone."

"See you tomorrow."

It was late at night in January. It would be cold as hell outside.

Everyone pulled on a jacket or overcoat and filed out of the room.

Sakakibara wore a rugged leather bomber jacket. He grabbed his motorcycle helmet, shut off the lights, and followed the others out.

Sakakibara lived near Waseda station, only one stop away from Takada-no-baba on the Tozai line. It was only about three kilometers from the office. It only took him about ten minutes when the subway was running. But if he missed the last train, it was a thirty-minute walk.

It was too close to justify taking a taxi. Hearing the destination, some drivers would refuse the fare.

It wasn't worth their while.

And so Sakakibara commuted on his motorcycle.

The bike was a Honda CBX 65o that he had bought secondhand. It had a large frame, American style.

Sakakibara had received his two-wheel license in high school before there were size limits. Nowadays, it was hard to get clearance to ride the big bikes, unless you had a lot of time on your hands or a real passion for it.

"So, boss, are you headed home?"

Kojima, who had been chatting with Miyagami and the students, saw the helmet and looked disappointed.

He turned to Kasadera and pretended to lift a glass to his lips, to convey "Join us for a drink?"

"No thanks, not me. I'm eager to get home to read this stuff."

He slapped the bag containing the manuscript copies and waved good-bye.

"Not me either. I'm too wiped out."

Mishima Keiko also passed on the invitation.

The elevator arrived.

The seven went down together.

"Take care, see you."

"See you."

Kojima, Miyagami, and the two students spotted a bar behind the station and ducked in to get out of the bitter wind.

It was an area frequented by students, and so there were a lot of places open, even at this hour.

The other three remained outside.

"Keiko?"

After seeing Kojima leave, Sakakibara decided to make his move.

"Do you need a ride tonight?"

She was renting an apartment in Kami-Ochiai.

Like Sakakibara, she lived only one stop away from Takadano-baba on the Tozai line, but in the opposite direction. Likewise, it was too far to walk and too close for a cab.

And so, after the last train, someone needed to see her home.

Usually, Sakakibara or Kojima would take care of seeing her home.

In the warm months, Sakakibara often drove her home on his motorcycle. Even though it was out of his way, it was a quick hop on the bike.

But it had been very cold lately.

Kasadera lived in Shibuya, and so it was not too much out of his way to stop at Keiko's home in Kami-Ochiai. Because he went home by taxi, Kasadera had pretty much taken over the task of escorting her home, to the point where he seemed to feel that it was his right to do so.

He had evidently intended to take her home tonight.

Not only will the ride be cold for Keiko, but also Sakakibara will have to go twice the distance. If he is going to offer to escort her home, he needs some sort of reason.

He has his reason-of course. He has a really good reason. But it's not one that he can speak about openly.

He has been returning home well after midnight lately, day after day.

Frankly, he had to work up the nerve to ask.

In fact, it was unusual. He was very aware of that. But even though he was aware of it-he couldn't stop himself asking.

He could blame it on the cold weather. It was too cold for him to ride alone.

That's also why he expected to be turned down, because it was too cold.

And yet-she accepted without any hesitation.

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

Kasadera, who was trying to hail a taxi, turned around and looked at them in surprise.

But he didn't say a word.

A taxi stopped. Kasadera waved good-bye and ducked into the taxi. The door shut behind him.

Kasadera wasn't driving, but his taxi sped off in the night, with an angry screeching of tires.

6

While the engine of the CBX 650 warmed up, Sakakibara went back to the third floor offices to get another helmet.

It was a red jet helmet. It was pretty much Keiko's helmet. He rarely gave a ride to anyone else.

It occurred to him that this was the first time this year that he had taken her.

Probably he had hurt Kasadera's feelings. But Sakakibara had been suffering in silence long enough.

He handed her the helmet and fastened her purse and his bag to the grab bar.

The rear seat was rather small, but since it was an American bike, there was no uncomfortable bump between the two seats.

He should have warmed the engine a bit longer, but it was already quite late.

In any case, it was throttling well, and so he cut the choke and eased the CBX 650 out of the parking space reserved for him alongside their building.

He threw a leg over the seat. Mishima Keiko slid onto the seat behind him at his signal and held on to him with both arms.

He put it in gear with his foot. It made a grinding sound. The intense cold had probably affected the lubrication of the clutch. Easing the throttle open, Sakakibara drove onto Waseda Street. He kept it in low gear awhile.

But as they passed the intersection in front of Takada-nobaba station, the engine started to race and roar.

A group of men wandering drunkenly into the street to flag a taxi leapt out of the road as they passed and yelled after them.

He put it in second. The bike gathered speed.

They quickly arrived at the light at Kotakibashi. He turned right and continued straight.

And then-

It caught his eye.

(Snow ..)

From behind him came Keiko's voice at almost the same moment.

"It's snowing!"

Large flakes of snow, mingling with a fine drizzle, danced gracefully down from the jet-black skies, spinning brilliantly on the wind in the light of the streetlamps.

"It's snowing!"

It was an enchanting scene.

Sakakibara eased back on the throttle.

It wasn't because it was slippery.

Rather, he wanted to enjoy this marvelous moment as long as possible with Keiko beside him.

As they slowed, a taxi impatiently honked from behind. Sakakibara didn't speed up at all.

On the contrary, he slowed further, the snow rushing at them and swirling around the CBX like a river of stars.

Their destination was all too rapidly approaching.

Besides, he couldn't keep her out in this cold wind much longer.

The lights of her building appeared ahead.

Sakakibara put on the right blinker, turning the CBX into the apartment complex where Keiko lived.

Everything around them was silent.

Sakakibara stopped twenty meters short of her apartment and cut the engine. It would be tiresome if people in her building complained about the noise.

She got off the bike. She pulled off the helmet.

Sakakibara put down the kickstand and got off.

She didn't say a word.

Sakakibara unfastened the straps holding her purse.

Just when he handed it to her-

She threw herself into Sakakibara's arms.

She spoke.

I'm cold."

Not sure what to do, Sakakibara wrapped his arms around her.

. . tighter, hold me tighter ..."

She spoke in a whisper.

"... don't go ... please ..."

Sakakibara was at a loss.

He was uncertain about her intentions.

He spoke without thinking, stupidly.

"But why?"

He felt her trembling in his arms.

"You have to make me say it?" She scolded him.

The flakes of snow had grown larger.

They settled on her hair like crystals before melting away. Sakakibara gently brushed the lingering snowflakes from her hair.

.. I'm cold."

She repeated.

Sakakibara nodded without a word.

She slipped out of his arms, turned, and started to walk ahead.

He pulled off his helmet.

He hurriedly took his case from the rear seat, put it and the helmet under one arm, and grabbed the key and locked the handlebars with the other.

He followed her.

Catching up, he walked at her side.

He wondered if he should simply walk beside her or put an arm around her, but for some reason he felt too shy to do that.

It was a neat and trim building with relatively few apartments. He had heard that many women lived there. Maybe that was why the corridors and stairs were so clean.

It wasn't the first time that he had been invited to her room.

He had been offered tea or sake on other nights. But nothing had happened.

Sakakibara wasn't one to press his luck with women. He tended to worry more about hurting a woman than about losing out-which was a nice way of putting it, when in fact he was secretly afraid of being hurt himself.

At times Sakakibara became exceedingly angry with himself. But then that's how he was. He wasn't going to change.

That is why nothing had ever happened between them.

He probably looked like a guy afraid of women. Or maybe he just looked clueless. But it really wasn't either. It wasn't that he wanted to run away, and it wasn't that he didn't feel something for her ... but ... he couldn't help feeling like an utter coward when face to face with Mishima Keiko.

That's how strong his feelings for her were. He was terrified that she'd reject him. And so he went on day after day telling himself, "I'll do it today, I'll do it today."

Ultimately, however, before he could make up his mind, she'd lost patience and picked that day for him.

Her apartment was on the third floor. It was 304. He'd never forget it. The nameplate on the door read simply Mishima.

They took the stairs rather than the elevator.

Their shoes, wet from the sudden snowfall, left a dark damp print on each step. Each one dampened Sakakibara's sense of confidence.

He kept thinking about Kasadera's face as he waved goodbye to them before speeding off in the taxi.

They reached the third floor.

Mishima Keiko took the key from her bag and unlocked the door. She opened the door and silently gestured at him to enter.