Death on the Trek (14 page)

Then, without warning, her pains began again. Fear gripped her. She was becoming afraid her seed would come out too soon and would not live. She looked around for the Healer, but she was tending Mootak. She must approach her later and see if there was anything she should be doing to keep the seed inside her.

When Sister Sun was sinking low, Ung and Fee came trudging back. In the distance, Enga could see that Ung bore a bulky weight across her shoulders. Could it be? It was! It was a full-grown antelope. Enga started drooling at the thought.

Even Hama ran to greet them and to help carry the animal.
How did you catch up with this? It is a fast animal, you told us.

Fee nodded.
They are fast. But not clever.

Fee and Ung told of scooping dirt for a long time to form a depression deep enough to hold the adult animal. This took them most of the day. Then Fee drove the herd toward it and one fell in. As it struggled to get up, Ung, standing ready nearby, threw her spear.

After they ate, there was dancing and music at the gathering. It was almost like old times, although there was still no fire.

* * *

Jeek was jittery, which was unusual for him. This was like the time when someone had killed their leader. He had wondered then how well he knew the people he lived with every day. He found himself wondering the same thing now. How could a Hamapa be that deceptive? How could anyone kill Panan One Eye? All respected him, even when they differed with what he thought. As an Elder, he could state his opinions, no matter what they were.

Jeek studied Mootak Big Heart in the faint light from Brother Moon, who was not nearly full this night. Mootak, now the Hava, the only Storyteller, no longer trembled nor lay curled up in a ball. But his manner now was not too much better. He sat not far away with his back against a tree, his legs straight out in front of him, and his eyes held a film that looked like one of the thin, wispy garments of Mother Sky. The Healer checked on him often. Jeek knew she was worried, too. She let Jeek know that she was afraid she might have given him too much of the calming herb.

Jeek stole close to Mootak, not wanting to startle him, and brought him a drink from his gourd. He stayed and sat with him, hoping to comfort him. Mootak was in no condition to control anything, even his thoughts. The thoughts were weak and wispy, like the clouds in his eyes, but Jeek could decipher them.

This is my punishment. I am being punished.

What are you being punished for, Mootak Big Heart? What have you done?
Jeek did not want to hear that Mootak had killed Panan, but he had to know.

Creatures of the dark time moved in the woods behind them, rustling the fallen leaves beneath the trees that were dropping leaves and beginning to prepare for Cold Season. The woods smelled like rodents and other small animals.

I am being punished for thinking such awful thoughts about Panan One Eye. He was an Elder. I should not have wished him ill. I even made fun of his one eye.

You are correct, Mootak Big Heart. Those were wrong things. But if you are being punished for that, surely your punishment will end soon. Is there anything else you should be punished for?

Mootak looked at Jeek with horror. Even in the dim light Jeek could see that the film was gone from his wide-open eyes.
You also? You think I killed an Elder?
Mootak jumped up. He started pacing back and forth, his energy suddenly returning.

Jeek assured him that he did not think so. Mootak had professed his innocence with so much vigor, but was it too much vigor? He had asked,
You also?
Did others think that? Would Mootak again become agitated and need more of the calming medicine? If he did, they would not be able to leave at new sun. Jeek spent some time soothing Mootak and telling him that no one thought he was the killer—although Jeek now thought that some did.

Enga Dancing Flower stood conferring with the Healer, but Jeek did not think it was about Mootak. Enga looked like she was in pain.

Chapter 21

Enga Dancing Flower did not know what to do. The tribe was dancing and she could not stand on her feet. Zhoo of Still Waters, the Healer, told her that she had some remedies for Enga to try. Sometimes they worked and sometimes they did not, she told Enga.

What are these pains? Why am I having them?
Enga asked.

These are the pains that will push out the baby when it is ready. It is not now the proper time, so these pains are too early.

That worried her even more. Enga had seen babies come out before the proper time. Sometimes they were actual babies, but not alive when they emerged. Sometimes they were small beings within masses of Red and did not look much like babies at all. She was horrified by those. One of the babies that Hama lost had been like that. She did not want this for herself and Tog Flint Shaper!

Zhoo told her to sit still, on the ground, and she would return in a moment. She returned with two things, a water gourd and the small bones of the antelope they had eaten.

Drink all of this while I prepare the wet that is inside the bone.

She cracked open a thin bone. When Enga had finished drinking the water, Zhoo had her suck the wet from inside the bone. The Hamapa often did this with mammoth bones, which were much harder to break open. They had not had mammoth bones for a long time now.

Carry the rest of the bones with you, Enga Dancing Flower, and suck them often. Are you having the pains now?

Enga nodded.

Crouch like this until I tell you to get up.
Zhoo demonstrated, getting onto her knees, then resting her head on her forearms which were on the ground.

Enga did it, her rump poking up. When Zhoo told her to rise, she asked if the pains were still there. They were.
I will tell you when to do this again. I hope it will help after you have done it a few more times.

Zhoo said the best thing Enga could do was rest. It was the opinion of Zhoo that she had done too much dancing after eating too little food and walking for so many days.

If we were back in our village
, Zhoo thought-spoke, with her message wrapped in the deep purple of Mother Sky on a night without Brother Moon for privacy,
I would send you to the Holy Cave. You would lie still and others would bring you food and drink.

Will I have this baby
? Enga quaked with fear.
Will the seed grow and be a healthy baby?

Zhoo shook her head with sadness.
I do not know. If the seed stays in for the rest of the trek, that would be best. But I do not know what will happen. I hope it will.

The Healer did not sound confident that the seed would become a baby. Enga started to quake again. Zhoo sat beside her and stroked her head and her back. Enga could not look at Zhoo. If the Healer could not tell her what would happen, she knew that no one could. She would stay as still as she could for as long as she could.

After having Enga crouch again, Zhoo left to look after Mootak again.

Her tribal brothers and sisters continued to dance and the music floated into the night air. Enga wanted to dance, to ask Dakadaga to save her baby. She had always danced to the Spirit of Mother Sky, the Most High Spirit. If she could not, would the high Spirit know she needed help?

Tog, who had been in the dance circle with Vala Golden Hair, left and came to her.

Enga Dancing Flower, we need you. The tribe needs you, our best dancer, to help get the blessings that will send us to our new home.

She shook her head and tears ran down her face.

You are in distress! Is this because I danced with Vala Golden Hair? You will not dance for the tribe because of that?

She shook her head again.
Tog Flint Shaper, the seed that we made together is in trouble. I do not know, and Zhoo of Still Waters does not know, if it will be a baby, or if it will come out too early.

Then you
must
dance!

He jerked her to her feet and pushed her into the circle. She had trouble staying upright, so he held his arm around her waist and propelled her around. Around and around. Enga looked about for Zhoo, but she was carrying Mootak Big Heart in her arms to a place away from the dancing. She closed her eyes and moved her feet as best she could. She felt too weak even to signal to Zhoo for help. She was not dancing very well. This would not impress even a small Spirit, a Spirit of grass or leaves.

Tog Flint Shaper, I cannot dance. The Healer wants me to rest.

Tog took away his support and drew his hands away from her.
You are not concerned with the tribe. You will not dance to Dakadaga?

I do not want to lose our precious seed.
Why did Tog not understand this?
I would dance if I could. I cannot.

Why was he being like this? Did Vala tell him that she should dance?

Tog shook his head and walked away, leaving Enga swaying precariously as the others danced around and past her. She made her way out of the circle and found a sturdy tree trunk to prop herself against. She broke another antelope bone from her satchel, which she had left on the ground, and sucked out the wetness. Her pains were worse. She watched the dancing go on without her. No one noticed her sitting in the dark and weeping, wrapping her arms around her enlarged middle where the seed grew.

Was Tog correct? Should she think of the tribe before her baby? Zhoo did not think so, but Tog did. But she could
not
dance. If the tribe perished because of her, then it would perish. There was nothing she could do to save it.

The many eyes of Dakadaga shone brightly, mocking the weak light of Brother Moon, shrunken to a narrow slice. Enga felt that her brothers and sisters were the bright, twinkling night eyes and she was dull Brother Moon. She wished very much to dance. It was what she was best at. The tribe needed her to dance. But she must save her baby. Zhoo said to rest, and she would rest as long as she could.

But what would happen at new sun when she must again start walking?

Chapter 22

When Sister Sun arose, they packed up and set out again. They walked toward the place where Sister Sun went to sleep with her mate, Brother Earth, when darkness came. They also walked toward the strange distant forms that jutted up from the edge of Brother Earth. All were curious to see what they were when they arrived at that place. There was nothing that looked like this in their old home. Enga Dancing Flower felt like she had been walking toward them for all of her life.

Enga was glad that she did not have any trouble walking. Maybe resting the night before had done her good. She had fallen asleep with her back leaning against the tree. During dark time, someone had put a skin over her and had closed up her pack, sitting beside her. She awoke rested and chewed the jerky, which was all they had again. She then broke one of the antelope bones and sucked out the inside.

Vala Golden Hair approached her, standing over her to thought-speak to her.

My little one, my Sooka, needs the wet of the bone. Give me some of that.

How could Sooka need this? She was still suckling. Enga stood up. She shook her head, snatched up her pack with the other bones inside, turned her back, and began to walk away. She did not want to converse with Vala.

But Vala persisted.
Why do you think you should get all of it?

Enga whipped around to face her. Sooka was in her arms and smiled at Enga. The face of the baby brought tears to the eyes of Enga. Would she ever hold her own baby?
I am in danger of losing my baby. Our Healer gave me these to try to save it. You may not have them. Sooka does not need them. Sooka gets nourishment from your breasts. They have not dried up, have they?
Enga did not wait for the answer.
Even if they have, you must ask someone else to suckle Sooka.
There was only one other female who would maybe now have milk. Perhaps two. The boy of Fee Long Thrower, Whim, was one summer old and still nursing. But the baby of Fee was larger than Sooka, and older, and needed all her milk.

The other female was Hama. She had lost a baby in the last hot season before this one. It was unlikely she would still have milk, but possible.

However, Enga was sure Vala had milk. She had seen Sooka sucking the breasts of Vala every day and Sooka grew and thrived. Vala stood staring at Enga, who could feel hostility coming from her.

You suckle Sooka, Vala Golden Hair. She needs nothing else for now. I need this now. Go away from me. Do not approach me again about this. I think you want this for yourself, not for Sooka.

The pretty face of Vala turned harsh and ugly. She narrowed her eyes and sneered.
You should not address me in this manner. You will regret it.

As Vala walked away, head held high, Enga felt a twinge of the familiar pain, but had no more of them for the rest of the day. She walked carefully, and the pains stayed away.

The distant gray shapes grew slightly larger. It could be seen that some of the tops were white, glowing in the sunlight. She thought they must be mountains, the High Places of the Saga.

When they stopped to eat and sleep, she crouched with her rear in the air as Zhoo had shown her.

Tog Flint Shaper, who had stayed away from her all day, knelt beside her. He put his head close to hers.

Enga Dancing Flower, what is this that you are doing?

She laughed at his puzzlement.
The Healer said this will help stop the pains and save the baby.

He straightened.
So you will not dance again this dark time?

Enga thought for a moment. She felt very good today. But if she danced, she was sure the birth pains would come back.
No I cannot. I might lose our baby.

He rose and walked away. She saw him walking back and forth at the edge of the gathering. Maybe everyone was worried that the best dancer could not dance. But she could not.

They had stopped by a small pond which was bordered by growth, including the sturdy trees that bore the capped nuts which the bouncy, skittering little squirrels ate. Gunda and her sisters walked around the pond with their spears, looking for some of the small creatures. Jeek, who was the only male who threw a spear, went with them. The thought of a bite or two of squirrel made Enga sigh with contentment.
Fresh meat again. That would be so nice.