Death by Engagement (4 page)

Cindy
tried to remain calm and centered. “True,” she replied slowly.

Mattheus
seemed encouraged. “I mean there are endless suicides and murders going on all
the time in the Caribbean. It’s rotten, it’s painful, but it doesn’t mean it’s
up to us to solve each one of them.”

“Of
course not,” Cindy agreed. “But I didn’t go looking for this case, and neither
did you.”

“What’s
that supposed to mean?” asked Mattheus.

“I
mean the case slapped itself down right in front of us.” Cindy felt unnerved.
“We had personal contact with the victim.”

“I
don’t usually call someone who commits suicide a victim,” Mattheus snapped. “They’re
the victim of themselves, maybe, but that’s not my particular line of work.”

“Why
are you so convinced this is a suicide?” Cindy retorted.

“No
reason to think anything else,” Mattheus proclaimed. “There’s a note and the
body shows no sign of a struggle.”

“Someone
could have pushed her from behind,” Cindy responded.

“And
from what the police told us, the last one to see her alive, the fiancé, has a
perfect alibi. He was in the bar when it happened,” Mattheus went on.

“Someone
else could have been involved,” Cindy kept musing.

“Anyone
could be involved with anything,” Mattheus replied. “That and ten cents buys
you a piece of candy.”

“What’s
wrong with you, Mattheus?” Cindy stopped in her tracks. “I don’t remember
seeing this side of you. You’re usually interested, you usually care.”

“Right
now I’m interested in the two of us,” Mattheus blurted out. “We need our time
together. We’re engaged now, remember?”

“Of
course I remember,” said Cindy, startled by the tone of his voice.

“Once
we’re settled and married, it will be easier.” Mattheus calmed down a bit. “We
won’t have to worry about whether or not we’re going to last.”

“Do
you worry about that?” asked Cindy, stunned.

“No,
but it’s different once you make that kind of commitment. When rough times
come, you have a solid ground to stand on.” Mattheus had clearly thought a lot
about it.

“We’ve
already made a commitment,” Cindy reminded him. “An engagement’s a commitment.”

“But
it’s not complete yet,” Mattheus insisted. “An engagement is one thing, a
marriage another. Anything can happen during an engagement, and plenty of times
it does.”

“So
you feel once we have the venue, set the date and let people know, we’ll be
that much more solid?” Cindy echoed.

“That’s
right, you got it.” Mattheus began to relax. “There have been so many things
that have come between us, Cindy, I can’t bear the thought of going through it
one more time again. I love you, I want you, I want this settled.”

 Was
love something that you could grab onto and settle? Cindy wondered. Wasn’t it
always changing, with risks of going through ups and downs? Didn’t there always
have to be times when the two of you weren’t close enough to each other?

“I
understand how you feel,” said Cindy warmly, though, wanting to reassure him.
“I love you, too, Mattheus. I want this to work. From where I stand, it is
working. There’s nothing getting between us.”

“This
case could, though,” Mattheus quickly remarked.

Cindy
felt bewildered. “How?”

“I
don’t want to take it.” Mattheus was firm. “I’m sorry for the family, but it’s
none of our concern. We didn’t come down here to get distracted. It’s a
vacation, remember?”

“Yes,
of course I remember, but what would be so bad about giving it just a few
days?” Cindy didn’t see how she could say no to Shari’s father. “If it’s really
a suicide, it will become clear quickly. And at least the family will feel
better about it, the lingering doubt will be gone.”

“Families
never feel better about a suicide,” Mattheus disagreed. “It’s easier for them
to deal with a murder. Then they can focus on getting justice and don’t have to
blame themselves for what happened.”

“Easier
or harder, it’s the truth that matters.” Cindy was emphatic.

“Cindy,
please.” Mattheus got up, put his arms around her and drew her close to him.
“This is our time, I need you.”

“I
need you, too, Mattheus,” Cindy murmured. “But how can I enjoy our vacation
with the thought of Shari’s father pleading for help? Why does it have to be
one way or the other? We can afford to give him a couple of days. Then the rest
of the time will belong to us.”

“There’s
always something, isn’t there?” Mattheus muttered.

“What’s
wrong with that?” said Cindy. “If we just take what comes and go with it, then
it doesn’t have to become a problem. It’s just what’s happening now.”

“In
your eyes maybe there’s no problem,” said Mattheus. “I happen to feel
differently, though.”

Cindy
pulled slightly away from him and ran her hands through her moist, tangled
hair. This was not what she wanted, she hadn’t chosen it, but how could she go
looking for her own wedding venue with the ghost of Shari on her mind?

Mattheus’s
voice suddenly got loud and taut. “Oh God, look who’s coming. The guy’s a loose
cannon, he’s on our trail.”

Startled,
Cindy looked over and saw Shari’s father barreling straight toward them.

“Edward’s
a father whose daughter has died suddenly.” Cindy tried to quiet Mattheus down.
She remembered how she’d felt when she’d learned that Clint had suddenly died
on their honeymoon. It was unbearable. Shari’s father had to be going through
the same thing.

“So,
what are we supposed to do about the fact that he’s lost his daughter?” asked
Mattheus.

“Cut
him a break,” said Cindy, as Edward came up close up to them. “Give him a
couple of days.”

“What
have you decided, what have you decided?” Edward asked breathlessly when he got
a couple of feet away. “I need to know, I can’t stand it.”

Cindy
stood up and took his hands. “We’ll give you a couple of days to look into
things,” she offered.

“Oh
my God, oh my God.” Edward flung his arms wildly around Cindy. “Thank you,
thank you. I needed to hear that. Thank you. You’ll never know what this means
to me.”

After
breakfast Cindy headed straight to the police station and Mattheus went back up
to their room. Before she left she promised that she’d only spend a couple of
days checking things out.

“Famous
last words,” Mattheus grumbled. “You know as well as I that investigations have
a way of winding and stretching themselves out.”

“This
is not an investigation,” Cindy insisted, looking at him pleadingly. “It’s just
taking a couple of days to gather some facts that will help a grieving family.”

“Do
what you have to.” Mattheus shrugged. “I’ve been there, I know the craving to
jump into trouble and to let it run your life. I’ve been addicted to the work,
too.”

 Cindy
resented Mattheus calling her need to help an addiction. Let him call it what
he liked, she finally figured, he would come around, he always did. Cindy
planned to be true to her word as well. She would keep it simple, talk to the police,
the fiancé and family and take a good look at the suicide note. Then she’d
visit the crime scene and look around carefully. If something was out of order
she’d sniff it

immediately.
After that she’d feel better and she and Mattheus could continue on enjoying
Aruba and finding the right venue for their wedding. The pain of Shari’s father
wouldn’t be able to grip Cindy so hard anymore.

Before
showing up at the police station, Cindy decided to call them to let the police
know she was on the case, would be investigating. As soon as she told that to
the officer who picked up, he asked her to hold on while he went to get Ben
Silte, the chief.

“What’s
this?” Ben asked in a gruff tone, as soon as he picked up.

“Shari’s
father hired us to look further into her death,” Cindy informed him plainly.
“I’m hoping we can join forces and share information.”

A
strange silence greeted her on the other end of the phone. “There’s no reason
for this,” Ben finally commented, “it’s not a good idea.”

“Why
not?” Cindy felt peeved.

 “There’s
nothing to share, no suspects, no reason to think anything’s amiss,” Ben went
on. “If you get involved you’re just going to blow it up into bad publicity for
all of us. The papers are always hungry for a story like this.”

“Shari’s
father is extremely distraught,” Cindy replied, hoping Ben would understand.

“Of
course he is.” Ben grew gruffer. “His daughter just took her life. Everyone in
the family is always distraught. They go crazy, why shouldn’t they? They all
look to blame someone for what happened, too. It doesn’t mean we have to go
along with them.”

“Edward’s
not looking to blame anyone,” said Cindy. “He just wants us to check and make
absolutely sure there was no foul play. That seems reasonable to me.”

“Honey,
there’s nothing reasonable about someone dying just before she’s about to get
married,” Ben grumbled.

Cindy
realized, of course, that it was so. There had been nothing reasonable about
losing her husband, Clint, either, right on their honeymoon.

“You
got a great partner, you two just got engaged, you’re on a vacation,” Ben
continued forcefully. “Why mix your trip up with something like this?”

Cindy
was startled by his comment and wondered if Mattheus had spoken to him.

“If
I were you, I’d just let it go,” Ben continued.

“I
can’t do that,” said Cindy firmly. “I promised the father we’d help.”

“Okay,
so help then.” Ben’s voice then became overly ingratiating. “Talk to the family
a little, check the daughter’s social media, and call it a day. There’s ways of
getting through these things quickly.”

Cindy
shuddered. He was suggesting that she just skim the surface and pretend all was
in good order without being sure.

“That’s
not the way I work.” Cindy bristled.

“Detectives
can make a big deal about anything.” Ben’s voice grew harsh. “There’s a
thousand innuendos you can check into about anyone. But what good does it do?
Ask yourself that? Aren’t you just prolonging the family’s misery?”

“The
last thing I want to do is prolong anyone’s misery,” Cindy snapped back. “I do
want to take a good look at the big picture, though.”

“Do
what you want.” Ben backed down. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Warn
me about what?” Cindy was irritated.

“About
wasting your time, and the family’s too,” he mumbled. “And the police’s.”

“Warned
or not, I’ll need to get hold of the suicide note,” Cindy retorted.

“For
what reason?” Ben was suddenly defensive about it.

“I
just want to go over the note with my own eyes,” Cindy replied.

“I’d
like to talk to your partner,” Ben said then, trying to act as though Cindy was
irrelevant.

Cindy
didn’t buy into it. “Mattheus and I work as a unit.” Her voice grew clipped and
professional. “I’ll come by to pick up the note in a little while.”

“Forget
about it,” Ben retorted. “We don’t need to see you. I’ll have someone deliver
it to your hotel.”

“That’s
even better,” Cindy replied, as Ben hung up in the middle of her sentence.

Cindy
hung up the phone feeling edgy and raw. This blowback was the last thing she’d
expected, but she’d been up against it before. The police didn’t like their
routines questioned or shaken up. But, like it or not, Cindy’s mind was made
up. Shari’s father deserved knowing the truth, and so did Shari.

The
next step was simple. Cindy quickly called Doug’s room and asked if they could
meet. To her surprise, not only was he receptive, he asked her to come over as
soon as she could.

“How
about ten minutes?” asked Cindy.

“Perfect,”
Doug replied.

*

Cindy
stood outside Doug’s room for a long moment before ringing the bell. She
wondered if he’d be alone and what condition she’d find him in. Instead of
ringing, she decided to gently knock. To Cindy’s surprise as soon as she tapped
on the door, Doug opened it, eager to let her in.

“Thanks
for having me,” Cindy said softly as she walked into the beautiful suite he and
Shari had shared. Doug looked worn and distraught. Clearly, the strain had
taken a toll.

“Thanks
for stopping by,” he replied quickly, in a craggy tone.

“I
know what a horrible shock this has to be,” Cindy murmured.

“Unbelievable,”
Doug echoed as he motioned to Cindy to sit down on a small settee at the side.
Then he sat opposite her on a blue upholstered chair and began tapping his foot
on the ground.

“Did
you have any sign, any at all, that this could happen?” Cindy started the
conversation softly.

“Absolutely
none.” Doug was emphatic.

Cindy
realized that most loved ones often missed many signs that a suicide was about
to happen.

“Was
Shari depressed?” Cindy continued, leading him on.

“Who
isn’t depressed?” Doug answered, flippantly.

“Did
she act strange at other times you visited the cliff?” Cindy continued.

“Shari
was never there before,” Doug responded quickly. “I was never there, either.
She took off on her own that night and said she was going to take a long walk.
Shari loved to walk. It didn’t mean anything. She often walked alone at night.
When she left I was in the bar having a couple of drinks with her father, ask
anybody.”

“I’m
not questioning whether or not you were in the bar.” Cindy rephrased her
question. “I just meant did Shari say or do anything at all during the trip
that might have let you know that she could do something like this?”

“Nothing,”
said Doug forcefully, meaning it. “Why would I ever marry a woman who could do
something like this to herself? And to all of us!”

Cindy
nodded, quickly looking over the room. Everything seemed in perfect order.

“You
knew Shari quite a while, didn’t you?” Cindy mused, wanting to draw him out, to
see if he would say something questionable on his own.

“Shari
and I started dating in college.” Doug seemed eager to talk. It had to be a
relief to have someone here now, listening. “I feel like I knew her forever.”

“Love
at first sight?” asked Cindy lightly.

“No,
not at all.” Doug grimaced. “I’m not a love at first sight kind of guy. It took
a long time to seal the deal. I had to be sure she was the one, positive that I
knew everything about her and could trust her completely.”

Cindy
noted the bitter edge in his voice now. It was understandable. People responded
in all kinds of ways to the suicide of a loved one.

“You
feel fooled?” Cindy continued, trying to get him to go deeper.

That
stopped him, though. Doug looked at Cindy with a murky look in his eyes.

“I
wouldn’t put it that way.” He seemed to be thinking about it. “I’m not a guy
who’s easily fooled. Do I feel stupid though? Maybe. Do I feel I missed
something and might have let Shari down? Yes, definitely.”

Cindy
nodded. Doug had to be suffering lots of guilt, for sure. That would be
inevitable.

“I
was always good to Shari, though.” Doug’s voice got louder. “You can ask
anyone. Everyone in her family loved me. Talk to anyone you want, there’s not
one person who would say I didn’t love her.”

“I’m
so sorry, Doug,” Cindy said, realizing the terrible self-accusations he had to
be feeling.

“Not
only did I love her,” he went on, “but I gave her everything any girl could
want. I never held back or stinted. When she wanted an emerald necklace I could
barely afford I bought it for her on the spot.”

“Her
death is not your fault.” Cindy tried to calm him.

“It’s
easy enough for you to say that.” Doug’s voice got lower and his hands turned
into fists. “But what do you think people are going to say? They’re going to
think that something went wrong between us.”

“Why?”
asked Cindy.

“Why
wouldn’t they?” asked Doug. “A girl kills herself while she’s looking for
wedding venues with her fiancé? This is the time she’s supposed to be on cloud
nine. Even though she acted like it, obviously, she wasn’t. What else are
people going to think?”

“There’s
lots of reasons people kill themselves,” said Cindy. “Shari obviously had a lot
going on inside that you didn’t know anything about. She might not have known
about it herself.”

Doug
raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Not true, I knew her like a book,” he muttered.
“If anything bothered her she came to me with it. She wasn’t the kind to hide
what she was feeling.”

“Did
Shari have a history of depression?” Cindy turned the questioning in a
different direction. “Did she have mood swings?”

Doug
nodded slowly. “Yeah all of that,” he replied. “But the mood swings weren’t
bothering her now.”

Cindy
was surprised to learn about this. “Did anyone ever warn you about Shari’s mood
swings?” she asked.

 Doug
reflected briefly. “Yeah, my sister Kate mentioned it to me, once in a while.
She was the only one who was concerned about it. But I thought she was making a
big deal about nothing.”

Cindy
found that fascinating. “What did Kate say?” she asked.

“Kate
told me she found Shari hard to be with, that she wasn’t right for me. Shari
would blow off appointments she and Kate made, for a million different reasons.
I thought it was cute, but Kate didn’t. Kate’s a personal trainer and doesn’t
have much room for people making excuses, or not doing what they say.”

“What
kind of excuses did Shari make?” Cindy was intrigued.

“Shari
would say she wasn’t in the mood, or that someone just called and she had to go
see them. Or sometimes she just wouldn’t show up. Kate thought that was creepy,
it bugged her. But other people accepted it, just took it as a matter of
course.”

“Did
Shari do that with you, too?” asked Cindy.

“I
guess,” said Doug, rubbing his hands along his thighs. “It didn’t matter so
much to me, though. It was worth it when we were together. Shari was wonderful
to be with in every way, most of the time.” His voice started to crack. “I
didn’t need her to be perfect. I figured there’s something off in every
relationship. I could take her moods.” Doug put his fists up to his face then
and dug them into his eyes.

“You’re
right, Doug,” said Cindy softly. “No relationship is perfect, there are always
things we choose to live with.”

“Shari
didn’t choose to live with me though, did she?” Doug’s eyes opened wide then
and stared, frightening Cindy momentarily. “And she never told me why!”

“What
about the note she left?” asked Cindy, feeling a long chill go up her back.

At
that Doug jumped up off his chair and stood a few inches from Cindy, his voice
rising.

“Her
note didn’t mean a damn. It didn’t say anything. She just said she was sorry
and couldn’t help it. She asked everyone to forgive her, that it was too hard
to go on living like this. Like what? Being engaged to me?”

“Not
you, necessarily.” Cindy stood up beside him.

“Plenty
of women would be happy to have a guy like me,” Doug insisted, the bitterness
creeping into his tone again.

“Maybe
it was too hard to live with the pain she was suffering inside,” Cindy
interrupted. “Sounds like Shari was in the grip of an illness. Was she on
medication? Did she see a doctor?”

“Yeah,
she saw a shrink for years and was on antidepressants,” said Doug. “She took
them regularly and they worked.”

“Sometimes
medication stops working and has strange side effects,” Cindy suggested.

“That’s
what Kate said when I talked to her today,” Doug replied.

“Where’s
Kate now?” asked Cindy.

“She’s
on her way down here with my mother and father,” said Doug. “Shari’s family’s
already here. They came down for the happy occasion. They were excited to see
which venue we would choose.”

“Yes,
I know,” said Cindy softly.

“Now
we don’t have to look for a wedding venue, do we? Instead we have to look for a
cemetery plot,” Doug cried out.

“I’d
like to talk to Kate,” Cindy interrupted softly. “Can I talk to her when she
comes down?”

“You
can talk to anyone you want to.” Doug sounded like he was about to sob. “Talk to
the whole world for all I care. You can’t bring Shari back though, can you?”

“No,
I can’t,” said Cindy, clearly, “but perhaps I can help ease the suffering.”

Doug
spun around and stared at her. “How are you gonna do that? How?”

“By
learning more about Shari,” Cindy said strongly. “Maybe we’ll find out what it
was she couldn’t live with, why she took her own life. If we understand what
happened to her, it will help everyone come to terms.”

At
that Doug sneered. “How are you going to find that out? Get Shari to talk from
the grave?”

“There
are lots of ways people speak to us from beyond the grave,” Cindy responded.
“There are all kinds of things we can find out about them long after they’re
gone.”

Doug
grimaced. “So, go talk your heart out. Talk to anyone you want. Truthfully, it
doesn’t make any difference to me. I’ll never forgive her for doing this to me.
It was mean, it was selfish, it was wrong!”

Cindy
wanted to say more, but realized that it was too soon to tell Doug how
important it would be for him to eventually find a way to forgive Shari. Not
only for her, but for his sake as well.