Dearly Loved (15 page)

After eating at the restaurant, Clay walked with her into the hospital, all the way to her unit. When they reached the nurses’ station, he smiled. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Meredith murmured good-bye and headed to the break room. Just before she pushed open the door, she glanced back over her shoulder—and froze. Erin appeared from nowhere, her face lighting up when she saw Clay. He seemed almost as pleased to see her.

Frowning, Meredith went into the break room, smiling vaguely at the other nurses’ there. With a distracted air, she went through the motions of putting on her clogs, name badge, and stethoscope. Could Clay have used the opportunity to escort her into the hospital as an excuse to see her boss?

She rejected the idea. Erin didn’t always work the same days or in the same unit as she, so there’d be no guarantee of seeing her, if that was indeed Clay’s desire. Meredith nibbled her bottom lip. She didn’t like the way this situation made her feel. Not one little bit.

***

During the early part of her shift, Meredith kept a discreet watch on Erin. She often caught the Charge Nurse staring at her in a speculative way whenever she was near.
Maybe she’s looking for a way to get rid of me
. She frowned at the thought.
Just let her try!

Once her initial routine assessments were complete, Meredith went back to the nurse’s station to catch up on some paperwork. Erin sat perched on the edge of a stool, banging away on the computer keyboard. Her fingers stilled.

“Ambrose.”

Meredith looked up, schooling her face into a pleasant expression. “Yes?”

“Why do you believe in God?”

Meredith blinked a couple of times and licked her lips, struggling to formulate her thoughts. “Well, because it’s logical. The imprint of a Designer is on every living thing. It takes more faith not to believe in God.”

Erin furrowed her brows. “So you believe in a higher power creative force and that’s all?”

Praying for wisdom, she tried to choose her words with care. “I believe in God, who designed all living things to bring glory to Himself. That includes us. He knows us in our mother’s womb and has a plan for each of our lives. But we don’t always bother to find out what that plan is.”

“What if that plan is something bad?”

“Well, it says in the Bible that He has a hope and a future for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us—”

Erin’s eyes flashed. Her face turned red. “Do you really believe that, Ambrose? Bad stuff happens to people all the time! How can you be so ignorant? What about that patient I caught you praying for? Do you know after he was released from the hospital, he died? What good did your prayers do then?”

Meredith toyed with the chart in her hands. “When my Mom got sick with cancer, I prayed and prayed. I begged God for her healing. She died and afterward I really struggled with my faith. Why pray if God didn’t listen?” She took a deep breath, remembering that horrible time. “I finally learned God did answer my prayer. My mom is in a place with no cancer, no sickness, no pain or sorrow.”

“Sounds like a cop-out to me,” Erin mumbled.

Meredith sighed. “We all die eventually. The real concern is the state of our hearts when we do. My mom was a Christian. The Bible promises Christians who are absent from the body, are with the Lord. That’s the hope.”

“What if you’re wrong?”

“I’ve thought of that myself. God doesn’t expect us to stumble along until we reach Heaven. He’s here for us, if we ask. He wants to help and guide and encourage us.”

Erin let out a cavernous yawn. “Are you done preaching yet, Ambrose? I’ve got work to do.”

Meredith clamped her lips together, praying any seeds from their conversation might eventually bear fruit. Erin gave her a bored look.
Those seeds are falling on some rocky soil.

One of Meredith’s patients hit their call button. Glad for the excuse to leave her boss’s presence, she hurried to the room.
What made Erin the way she is? Or is she just naturally rude and abrasive?
  

The rest of her shift passed by quickly. By the time she left the break room to head home, she ran into Clay in the lobby as he entered the hospital.

“Meredith! See? I didn’t forget!”

Oops! I did
. Feeling self-conscious of her appearance after twelve hours of work, she gave him a bright smile, hoping he didn’t notice her dishevelment. They turned, heading back to the parking lot. Meredith was relieved Clay didn’t seem interested in seeing Erin. She sank into the leather seat of his Mercedes and sighed at the decadent comfort.

Minutes later, nearing her house, Clay announced his intention to take her out to breakfast or in her case, dinner. She agreed, flattered by his attention. He settled on her couch after they arrived at her bungalow, playing with Bitsy, while she took a shower and changed into a pretty lavender blouse and black cotton pants.

They ate at a trendy restaurant that specialized in organic foods. Meredith ordered a mango smoothie and whole-wheat toast and Clay chose the same. While sipping on her smoothie and listening to Clay talk about his family, Meredith studied him surreptitiously through her lashes.

One of the main reasons she liked him so much was the fact he was almost an exact opposite of another guy she knew. Clay was kind and considerate, the perfect gentleman. He never bragged about himself, never swaggered when he walked, and never sent her heart into a tailspin.
Which is a very good thing!
He wouldn’t dream of squashing her heart like a bug. He was safe—and that was exactly what she wanted. Right?

After lunch, he suggested they go for a walk at a nearby park. Meredith agreed, loving the crisper autumn weather. When they arrived at the park, the fall changes caught her imagination. Being in a hospital for twelve hours under fluorescent lights—with no real difference between night and day—made the colors outside especially vibrant and dramatic. Her heart felt as free as the jewel-toned leaves in hues of topaz, ruby, and peridot, fluttering in the breeze against the deep turquoise sky.

When Clay captured her hand in his, a shiver of nervousness increased her heart rate.
Relax. This is nice
. They strolled hand-in-hand along the leaf-strewn paths through the park. The warm sunshine beat down upon her head, tempering the chill of the air. He paused near a tree. Meredith leaned against it, trying to sort out her anxious thoughts. He rested one hand against the bark near the side of her head.

“Meredith, may I kiss you?”

She stared up at him, breathless. Reminding herself this was a good thing, she nodded. His head lowering to hers blocked the sunlight. She composed herself in uneasy expectation.

Whump!
Meredith jumped. Something hit her ankle. Clay jerked up his head in surprise. She looked down, seeing a soccer ball rolling a few inches away.

Clay muttered an exclamation, his voice sounding far away. Meredith’s gaze remained riveted on that soccer ball. She didn’t know if she had the will to look up and see where it came from.
If it turns out to be from a certain ex-soccer player, I don’t think I could bear the humiliation
.

In the end, a morbid desire to know made slowly raise her gaze and look across the park. Big mistake! She balled her hands into fists and glared.

About ten yards away, David caught her basilisk stare and returned it with a limpid gaze of his own. He ambled up to them, never taking his eyes off of her. Meredith knew her face was about as red as his running shorts, but she didn’t care. She only knew in this moment she, a dedicated health care professional, could cheerfully kill David Steller with her bare hands.

When he came abreast of them, he bent over and retrieved his ball. “Sorry about that.” Ignoring Clay, he turned a dismissive shoulder and sauntered away.

“That was rude,” Clay said, his neck and ears bright pink.

“Yes,” Meredith panted. She struggled to rein in her emotions, thankful he didn’t recognize David or ask any awkward questions. There was no way she could kiss Clay in front of David now. How could she get him out of the park before he tried again?

In the end, she was saved by the bell. His cell phone rang. After a few terse comments, Clay ended the call.

He let out a heavy sigh. “I’m needed at the office.” He took her hand and sent her a rueful smile. “I thought by leaving Bitsy behind, we could avoid interruptions. Apparently not.”

What could she say? She squeezed his hand, desperate to leave the park while trying to force a note of sincerity in her voice as she expressed her mutual regret. Finally, Clay tugged on her hand and led her down the path toward his car.

Meredith knew she had to keep her eyes straight ahead. She knew she couldn’t dare sneak a look behind her. It must’ve been fatigue which made her so weak. The moment Clay’s attention was elsewhere, she twisted her head around.

David stood holding his soccer ball, staring at her, as if expecting her to look back all along. Meredith jerked her head back around and marched from the park, stiff with outrage.

David watched the retreating couple until they disappeared from view, experiencing only a twinge of guilt at his actions.
Merrie doesn’t belong with that guy. I did her a favor
. He blew out a breath, wondering if he’d acted too hastily.
I couldn’t just stand by and watch her get kissed!
He sank down onto a park bench, dejected. He’d come to the park for the express purpose of seeing her. Rosa told him it was one of her favorites to take Bitsy for walks in after her shift at work. Since he could only come on his days off, he began to despair of ever seeing her here. Today he’d hit pay dirt.

He thought back to the moment he’d seen Yuppie Man going in for a landing. A red mist had clouded his gaze. What else could he do? His foot had moved of its own volition and chipped the ball expertly across the grass, hitting Merrie in the ankle, precisely where he’d intended.

He’d experienced a spasm of pleasure that he still retained a degree of soccer skill—until he saw the look on Merrie’s face. The phrase
if looks could kill
came to mind. If that were the case, he’d be out cold right now. Imagine Merrie harboring such strong emotion. She always seemed so quiet and serene. He’d never seen her really angry.
That’s not exactly what I was going for here
.

When he applied for the job here, he’d looked forward to seeing Meredith after all these years. And he wanted to thank her for her sweet friendship and prayers. He’d always felt guilty for the way he dumped her at the end of that long-ago summer. He’d quickly forgotten her appeal when other girls came along—girls who’d pandered to the worst side of his nature.
What a jerk. I’ll be lucky if Merrie ever forgives me
.

David rose and picked up his ball. He needed a new strategy for getting back into her good graces. A new strategy—and a little wisdom.

***

Clay dropped Meredith off at her house. He apologized repeatedly for his need to go to his office. She assured him she understood and waved as he drove away.

Inside the house, she went over to her couch and flopped onto it. Much of her anger had deflated. She still would throttle David when she got a chance, but a new thought occurred to her about her thwarted love life.

Could God be behind the interruptions which put the brakes on her relationship with Clay? He was a Christian so there was nothing inappropriate from that angle—but was he the man God had for her? Did God even want her to get married at all? Meredith realized that she hadn’t prayed about her relationship with Clay.

Things had happened so naturally, she just accepted it at face value. She wanted to marry some day, but wasn’t in any particular hurry. She’d just assumed Clay was a step in the right direction.

Straightening, Meredith decided not to worry too much about the interruptions. She didn’t want to become superstitious. But there was something she needed to do, something she should’ve done at the beginning.

She leaned forward and bowed her head while Bitsy snuggled up against her.
Father, please forgive me for not seeking You sooner about this issue. If it’s Your will for me to marry, please lead the right man to me. Be with him. Help him to stay wholehearted after You. And guard my heart from falling in love with the wrong person. Amen
.

Meredith felt a distinct lightening of spirit. She reached over and pulled Bitsy onto her lap. While she gave him an affectionate scrub, her mind drifted to the men she knew. Could any one of them be someone she might eventually marry?

A picture of David rose in her mind. Meredith flinched away from it and jumped up, accidentally dumping her dog from her lap.

“Whoops! Sorry, Bitsy!”

She walked quickly to her kitchen to begin some housekeeping chores, trying to outrun the disturbing thought of being married to David.

Don’t go there. Don’t even go there
.