Dearly, Beloved (57 page)

“My word.” Renfield stood up as well, and approached me. I stopped moving. “You do wish to continue this exercise, then?” He sounded hopeful.

Did I? Slowly, I forced myself to look up at the young dead man. “Yes. I can go where none of your clan can go now. No one in proper, anti-zombie society will acknowledge any of you. I could even talk to Allister. I don’t think he suspects me.”

“Good. Because we have many more birds to snare.” Mr.
Merriweather stared into my eyes so intently I felt my skin prickling. “Miss Dearly speaks very poorly of you.”

“As well she should. But ours is a petty squabble. I say that even though I would never give it up, even though I would happily take it to the grave.”

“Why?”

“Because it amuses me. That’s all the reason I need.”

Renfield considered this. “Then I must ask. How can we trust you to tell us the truth? I should be asking you to go to the police, to back up our claims.”

“Didn’t I just?” I rubbed my upper lip over my lower one in annoyance. “Isn’t that your whole thing now? Don’t you trust people
until
they try to bite you?”

Ren smiled slightly. “I suppose. Though it’s been a long time since I was in a position to fear being bitten.”

It ruffled me, the idea that a
corpse
was debating whether he ought to trust me. “Tell me, sir, what can I do to assure you?” I asked sarcastically.

“I meant no insult. All I mean is …” The zombie’s smile faded. “What happens when this venture no longer amuses you?”

I tried to find this question offensive. However, in the end I had to acknowledge that it had some merit. “I’m not dedicated to the cause, it’s true,” I said. “I don’t really know what possessed me to do what I did.”

Renfield stepped toward the door, as if intending to depart. “Perhaps it would be wise to simply wait and see if such an urge strikes you again, then, and if you can safely act on it. Nothing promised, nothing denied.”

“Wait.” My cheeks flushed and I felt myself fighting the urge to run after him, to fling myself in front of the door. I found my anger, my mental store of “dares.” He was
dead
. How dare he decide the direction our conversation would take?

“I’m afraid I must. It was dangerous to come here, and for that I apologize.” Renfield bowed and reached for the lock.

As he unbolted the door, I realized I didn’t
want
him to go. And the more I thought about it, the more I saw that I was dealing with an intelligent creature, a subtle one—even more than I’d initially given him credit for. He was, dare I say it, an equal.

I realized something else, too.

“I’ve missed you,” I admitted. The jingling of the ornaments in my hair seemed louder than my own voice.

A beat passed. Ren pulled his hand away from the lock. “And I’ve missed you, my lady.” His words made my chest ache. “When I realized it was you … I was supremely honored. I was honored to be remembered.” There was no gloating in his tone, nor shyness; he spoke plainly. I found myself admiring that.

“I’ve missed playing against you,” I went on, my pride dissolving. “You’re a wonderful opponent. I’ve even missed the pleasantries we used to type. I used to wait and wait for your name to pop up online, just like my father …” My voice hitched. “… never knowing there was a monster at the other end.”

I fell silent. It wasn’t like me to speak about such things, to be so sentimental. Renfield lapsed into thought. Before I could open my mouth again, he beat me to the punch. “I want to take this seriously. I know I can’t be as active as some of the other lads, but I want to do my part. And I’m sure you can understand the sense of urgency that now infuses every aspect of my life.”

I understood what he was asking. “For you, at least for a time, I could take it seriously.”

“Truly?” He came nearer. “Believe me, no matter what happens, I will never ask you to do anything I would not myself be willing to try.”

“Truly.”

Renfield paused, his eyes roving over the mural on the far wall.
I stood in silence with him, awaiting his verdict. One of the subjects in the painting was a woman with dark hair cradling a blond, pewter-eyed child, and he pointed at it. “Is that a likeness of you?” he asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“No. That’s the real Vespertine.”

Renfield blinked. “Pardon me?”

Shrugging, I offered, “I was adopted when I was three. Lady Mink needed a replacement for the child she’d carelessly let drown in a garden pond.” Renfield’s shocked reaction bolstered me, and I added, “There. Does that suit?”

“Indeed.” Renfield held off for a second, before uttering a sort of half laugh and leaning his face closer to mine in such a slow, solicitous way that I felt no urge to retreat. “You’re really Vespertine Mink the Second, then.”

“Yes, I suppose you could say I am.”

“Ha.” Renfield took a step back, before bowing low. “Allow me to reciprocate, then. I am Renfield Ichabod Merriweather the
Third
. I’m the third son of a third son, the product of an undistinguished, middle-class family from the far North. And, as I stated many months ago, I am grateful to be dead for the fact that I never would have met you otherwise.”

I couldn’t help it—I blushed. “You shouldn’t say such things. They could be misinterpreted.”

Renfield didn’t appear the least bit embarrassed; rather, he was now grinning from ear to ear. “I told you, carpe diem.”

“While I appreciate the sentiment, I’m going to forget you ever said it,” I informed him, doing my best to come off as prim.

“So be it.” Renfield slicked his hair back, revealing a widow’s peak. “At any rate, I think we’re on an even footing now.”

I had to give him that. He threw the lock. “Can we play a game before you go?”

Renfield bowed, and put on his hat. “Not just now. But the night is young, Miss Mink. I suppose I await your pleasure.”

“Will you be on ACL in a few hours, then?”

“Wild horses and head shots notwithstanding, yes.”

I held the door open for him as he stepped out into the night. The rain had abated and all was clear; still, he dodged the streetlights and made his way furtively to the sidewalk across the street. After a few seconds he had hailed a cab and was gone.

Letting the door hang open, I slipped into my angora again and retrieved my keys. I had to go home, but I had something to look forward to, at least.

For the first time in many months, maybe years, I had something to look forward to.

Only a few days later everything had fallen apart.

Lopez took me to the police Sunday morning. Told them everything, though I remained silent. And before the aristocracy protection mechanism could wind up, before my father could even be called, the story leaked onto the news. The written information got onto the Aethernet—uploaded by someone called “zboy69.” Someone went to the Silver Bridle and got his hands on the letters waiting there, uncovering the names of a few more zombie targets. The police got a warrant and found my mask in the tire compartment in the trunk of my carriage.

The fallout was almost magnificent to watch. The ensuing scandal was the social equivalent of an explosive device taking out a well-loved monument—so horrible that it couldn’t help but scar the landscape of the New Victorian psyche, so enthralling that one couldn’t help but watch as the whole thing burned.

Except from where I was sitting. Certain, every second of every hour, that a bird-masked assassin was going to crawl in through my bedroom window. Certain that somehow Green Jacket would find a way to get me. Or the Ratcatcher. In self-imposed exile in my suite, my ignorance mutated into paranoia.
My mother wished to fret over my wounds, to tend them; I shut her out. Coco wished to know her next assignment; I chased her away, half convinced
she
was the one who’d given me up. My father didn’t even speak to me.

Nora was right. I went down alone. And it was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Even as the media spun wild theories, even as bird-beleaguered zombies were suddenly taken seriously, their stories sought after and their interviews broadcast multiple times, no other members of the Murder were exposed. I knew that in mansions the nation over high-class parents were probably burning bird masks, taking their sons to task. They’d have a chance to hide—thanks to me. Hopefully that detail would help me later.

God, I’d been an idiot.

It still hurt when my own father confirmed it, though.

When he finally called me to the library, I went with a heavy heart. The room was hologram-free for once, the gold foiling on the furniture the brighter for it, the ostentatious carpet louder. My father told me to close the door and sit in one of his high-backed chairs. He was more of a human black hole than usual, no emotion on his face, his movements reserved. He walked like a robot from the door to his desk. He didn’t sit.

“I’m sorry—” I began.

“Don’t speak.” The voice that came out of him was not my father’s. I fell silent.

From his desk, he picked up a digidiary. He began to read.
“ ‘Zombies are the Punks of our generation. Like your forefathers, you must rise to exile them. In our case, to the beyond. We shall don the masks of plague doctors, and together cure the world. We shall be a flock of carrion crows, feasting on the dead.’ ”

My stomach went numb. “Please, don’t read it.” They were the letters I’d reconstructed.

“ ‘If you want in,’ ”
he continued, his voice growing expansive, dramatic,
“ ‘place a note addressed to #1712 behind the loose stone in the central fireplace at the Silver Bridle pub in La Rosa. The people there are trustworthy.’ ”
His sarcasm nearly rent the air.
“ ‘Assign yourself a number. We shall never know one another. Anonymity will free us. The masks we will come to wear will represent absolute freedom. With one on, you will be one and one hundred at the same time.’ ”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered again, looking at my lap.

Dad stopped reading. Instead he said, “Really. This seemed like a good idea. You idiotic pantywaist.” Before I could even try to come to terms with what he’d just said, he hurled the digidiary onto his desk. “I ought to disown you now, turn you out on the streets. I can’t believe that half of my genetic material is riding around in a carcass that is so pathetically
stupid
!”

It felt like the blood was draining from my head. He advanced on me. “Is this your idea of what being an aristocrat entails? Sneaking around at night, performing heinous acts that are sure to get you caught, arrested, tried? Do you know how hard I am having to work to keep you out of prison?”

“Forgive me,” I tried. “I thought you’d be proud if I could do what I needed to do and not get caught. Handle it on my own. And after December—”

“Do what you needed to do? Oh, enlighten me. What was this chore? This holy imperative? I’m dying to know.”

“Killing Griswold. The zombie who assaulted me. The zombie who took Miss Dearly away from me.”

“So it’s that little slut’s fault, at the end of the day.” He looked away. “I can’t believe this.”

“She’s not … she’s confused.” I dug my fingers into my pants leg. “Ever since the Siege, I’d been fantasizing about killing him. When that letter came, I took my chance. I knew I couldn’t do it on my own. I knew I’d be caught. I thought—”

“No. You didn’t
think
.” He stalked away again. “What kind of fools do you take your elders for? This stunt is a mockery of all
we do. This is a pauper’s bitter mockery of how a mythical ‘evil peer’ acts, what our clubs are like! This is how the Punks imagine we behave!”

“I thought I could remain anonymous!”

My father was actually
shaking
with rage. “And then that zombie, Griswold, invades my building, takes you hostage, leads my forces on a wild goose chase over half the Territories—why? What was that about?”

“It was to help Miss Dearly. I told him to. He needed the men.”

“You sold out my private security force to a dead man? To rescue the daughter of that sick freak?” His eyes flashed. “I forbid you to see or talk about that girl ever again. I knew when you met her that it was a mistake to let you carry on!”

“But she—”

“She is Victor Dearly’s daughter! And everything Victor Dearly touches turns to dirt. He has the uncanny ability to corrupt even the most sublime, intelligent people—I’ve seen it in action. Before she went with him, Elizabeth Soto was—although nameless and penniless—a
diamond
amongst the dross of the earth. I would have made her a queen, and he turned her into a shell of her former self. It was a mercy when she died. And it seems that like her mother during her later days, Miss Dearly will choose to align herself, again and again, with rejects, fools, and scum!”

He was breathing hard. And he’d wanted her mother? I didn’t know what to say except, “I can lead you right to Griswold. He has to go down for what he did to me, to us …”

“Oh, I need no help finding him. And I’ll take care of him.”

This tickled a memory. “How did you know who he was?”

Dad ignored my question. “Tell me, did he do
all
of that to you?” he asked, indicating my wounds. I nodded. “Then at this point, I would like to meet him, yes. I would shake his hand and
thank him for doing what I should have done long ago. I should have thrashed you every time you acted like an idiot in your youth. Maybe you wouldn’t be such a waste of skin today!”