Dearest Series Boxed Set (26 page)

Maddie pops out her in-ear monitor and her calm demeanor disappears. Her blue eyes go wide, her mouth drops open and her hands fist into her hair. “Holy shit. That was amazing.”

I laugh. I doubt Matt Lauer would have had the same reaction to interviewing me.

“You did a great job,” I manage to say. I tuck my hands under my thighs to hide the trembling.

She leans over and whispers, “Sorry about all those personal questions. The network sent me a dozen really, really invasive ones I tweaked because I couldn’t bring myself to nail you with them.”

“I appreciate it. I know you went easy on me.”

She gets up off her couch and sits next to me. “Can I ask you something? Totally off the record?” I nod, realizing I’m lightheaded. “Who’s the RA? I’m wondering if I know him.”

I mull it over. Maddie could have shredded me on live, national television but didn’t.
The relationship is over anyway.

I whisper back, “Gavin Murphy.”

“As in front-page writer for the
Free Press
? And total hottie?”

“That would be the one.” She fans herself in appreciation for his looks, and I smile sadly. “I know. Tell me about it.”

“I thought he was dating that mean redhead.” Maddie crinkles her nose, and if I didn’t like her before, I certainly do now.

“Yeah, he was or he is. I don’t know.” They could just be sleeping together, which is worse.

Maddie frowns. “You look like you could use a drink. Can I get you one? To say thanks?”

“Absolutely.”

So what that it’s not quite 10 a.m. yet? I’ve had one hell of a day.

T
hree drinks later
, I am officially shit-faced. Maddie and I are sitting at the bar of my hotel, realizing that we need to eat something, when Jax and Daren walk in.

“I’m pissed at you,” my brother barks as he approaches.

I giggle. “Get in line.” I order two beers for the guys, knowing they’ll want to join us.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had an interview today?” Jax asks. “Why do I have to hear everything from your roommates?”

Daren elbows him. “Dude, lay off.”

I wave a finger. “Jax, you had a game yesterday. In a different state. I thought you were busy.” I hiccup so hard it hurts, which makes me laugh. “Have you two met Maddie? Maddie, this is my asshole brother Jax, and this is his asshole best friend Daren.” I wave back and forth between them.

She turns to look at me, obviously shocked that I was telling the truth when I said Daren and I are still friends. Jax barely glances at Maddie while Daren can’t seem to stop staring at her, which is no shocker because she is gorgeous.

“Take a load off. Have a drink.” I grab Maddie’s hand, yank her off the stool, and wander to a table that can accommodate four. The guys sit down across from us.

“Thanks for not making me sound like a douche in your interview,” Daren says to me, making me grin.

“Not a problem. It’s bridge under the water.” Shit. That’s not right.

Maddie’s cell buzzes, and she grabs it, putting it right up to her nose to read the incoming text.

Daren motions to my drink. “Have you eaten today?”

“I had a delicious bite of a chocolate sundae this morning, but otherwise, no. I don’t think the rum and coke I had at dawn counts as food, huh?”

He calls over the waiter and orders several things while Maddie excuses herself to make a call. A minute later, she runs back.

“Sit down,” she tells me, making me crack up.

“I am sitting. You’re the one standing.”

She realizes her mistake and shakes her head. “Okay, shut up,” she says even though no one is talking. “Jason Wheeler was just arrested for kidnapping.”

* * *

T
he news reports
that FBI agents kicked in Wheeler’s door at ten this morning, arresting him for the abduction of Olivia Lawrence. Daren has the bar turn on the flatscreen, and we watch the coverage in silence.

The camera rolling from the street in front of Wheeler’s mansion shows a gated driveway and ten-foot hedges that wrap around an expansive property. The blue and red lights of police vehicles flash up and down the street as neighbors watch in strange fascination.

I keep waiting to hear the gruesome details, bracing myself for the worst. I think about all of the homicide shows I watch and how authorities always expect a kidnapping to result in murder after forty-eight hours. I feel ill, hoping that in the end it wasn’t painful.
Maybe now she’s at peace.

And then the most amazing thing happens.

A girl with tangled, long brown hair and pale skin walks out of Wheeler’s house.

Olivia is alive.

Everyone in the bar cheers. Tears stream down my face as I watch her reunite with her family. My heart throbs as I think about what this is going to mean to Kade.

He picks up on the second ring.

“Kade, did you hear the news?” I sound out of breath.

He’s quiet. “Yeah. She’s alive.” He sounds choked up, and I give him a minute.

“It’s going to be okay, buddy. She has a long road ahead of her, but I’m sure she’s going to need some good friends.”

He doesn’t hesitate when he says, “I plan to be there for her.”

“Call me if you need anything. I mean it.”

He takes a shaky breath. “You’ve been amazing through all of this. It makes me feel like a bigger asshole for all the dumb shit I’ve said to you over the years.”

I laugh even though it makes more tears tumble down my cheeks. “Here’s to new beginnings. I’m tired of letting the past determine my future. It sounds like you are too. Maybe we can help each other with that.”

Glancing up, I see Daren smile at me, and I return the look and reach out and squeeze his giant hand.

“Thanks. I needed to hear that,” Kade says.

When I get off the phone, Daren laughs. “You’ve turned into a big softie.”

“Shut up. If you tell anyone about that conversation I’ll shank you with my toothbrush, and you won’t be the big football hero anymore. You’ll be the guy who got beaten up by a girl.”

His grin widens. “There’s the feisty little girl I love.”

I scowl, half-heartedly I admit, and give him the finger. His laughter grows, and eventually I give in and giggle.

Daren gets everyone a round of drinks to celebrate as my phone starts lighting up with messages. I talk to Harper to let her know where I am and that I’ll be home in a couple of hours, and then Gavin starts texting and calling. And calling.

“Are you going to get that?” Daren asks after the fifth call.

“Nope.” I peel the sticker off his beer and flick it at my brother across the table.

“But isn’t he the one you talked about in the interview? The one you—”

“Yes, but that doesn’t change things.” It doesn’t change the fact that he slept with Angelique. And probably lied about it. And broke my fucking heart.

“Don’t you want to see what he wants? Maybe he—”

“Daren, I’m pretty sure what he wants is a five eight redhead.”

Daren sits back in his chair, finally understanding what I’m saying.

My head is starting to hurt. I guess downing half a bar will do that. Now that I’ve eaten, though, I’m sober enough to make it back to my room.

Grabbing my purse, I stand up. “I’ve got to go pack. Guys, can you make sure Maddie makes it home okay?” They nod, offering to drive her back to campus.

I give Maddie a hug, and we agree to go for drinks again soon. Jax puts me in a headlock until I punch him in the ribs, and Daren kisses me on the cheek and says I’d better come to a game soon before he kicks my ass.

I take my throbbing headache back to my hotel room, and even though there’s a crater in my chest the size of Idaho from what happened last night at Gavin’s, I know I’m resilient enough to survive.

* * *

D
ropping
my bag by the door with a heavy thud, I watch as Jenna and Harper hop off the couch and run toward me, engulfing me in hugs. Ryan waves hi and stretches out his arms thanks to the space the girls vacated.

“We’re so relieved you’re okay!” Harper says in a rare show of dramatic emotion.

“It wasn’t like Wheeler was lurking right outside my door,” I say, trying to calm them down. The truth is, I don’t know. He could have been stalking me. I think back to the times I smelled clove cigarettes on our front stoop, and it makes me wonder.

“By the way, you were brilliant this morning.” Harper smiles encouragingly. “You were so poised and confident. I was really proud of you.”

“Thanks. The reporter didn’t grill me as much as she could have.”

“Girl, what happened to you last night?” Jenna asks, her forehead knitted together.

Taking off my coat, I decide I can talk about what happened now that Wheeler has been arrested.

“The FBI interviewed me for about four hours. They wanted to know everything that went down with Wheeler, what I knew about him, when we met. It was intense.” I glance over to Ryan. “Sorry I missed your show. I really wanted to come. I was dressed and everything.”

He waves it off. “Not a big deal. You’ve seen us play plenty of times.”

Yes, but I’ve never seen Gavin
.

“I’ve had a long day, so I’m going to unpack and take a shower.” My head still hurts, but it’s faded to a dull ache.

“Hey, why aren’t you calling Gavin back?” Jenna asks. “He’s been looking for you. He’s called me like three times.”

“Well, he can deal with it.” I grab my bag off the floor and head for my room.

“Clem, don’t you want to talk to him?”

I turn back to her, anger and hurt suffocating me.

“Not since Angelique opened his bedroom door last night just wearing his t-shirt, looking freshly fucked.”

I look from Harper to Jenna to Ryan whose mouths all drop open. With that, I walk into my bedroom and shut the door.

T
he knocking is forceful
, jarring me from my sleep. After I got home from the hotel this afternoon, I took a scalding shower, and between that and all the booze I drank, I’m really out of it. Stumbling out into the living room, I wonder where everyone has gone. The lights are off.
The girls probably went out for a late dinner.

The knocking starts again, and I barely open the front door before Gavin is barreling through it, pulling me into his arms. I stand there, stiff, wondering if I’m actually dreaming.

“Baby, I wasn’t with Angelique last night. I never cheated. You need to believe me.”

My body says that I am currently being hugged by Gavin, but my head is throbbing, so it’s possible I never made it home from the hotel and am passed out in the gutter somewhere.

It takes a few heartbeats to realize that, yes, I am awake, and yes, Gavin is still here, holding me. Pushing hard against his chest so I can look at his face, I stare back, doing my best to look impassive. I might have declared my feelings for him on national television, but it doesn’t absolve him of fucking Angelique. The thought of him touching her, of them touching each other, disgusts me. He must see the rage and hurt in my eyes because he says it again.

“I did
not
sleep with Angelique.” His voice is so forceful that it gives me pause, but before I can speak, he grabs my hand and yanks me out of my apartment. “Come on.”

He’s running down the stairs, dragging me behind him. Thank God I’m wearing clothes. I tug on him to let me go, but he tightens his grip.

When we reach the bottom, Gavin points. In the vestibule of my building is Angelique. A very pissed-off Angelique. He pulls me to her before I can protest, but the sight of Angry Red turns my stomach.

“Tell her,” he says.

Angelique blinks lazily and looks away.

He inches closer to her, all the while holding my hand. “Fucking. Tell. Her. Now.”

Angelique crosses her arms and tosses her head back. “Honestly, Gavin, have some shame. I’ve never seen you so worked up over a girl.”

“I certainly never was over you.”

That gets her attention, and she glares back.

“Tell her, Angelique, or so help me I’ll never write for you again.”

Angelique’s eyes skim over me, and with a resigned shake of her head she sighs. “I wasn’t with Gavin last night. He and Mark swapped floors, so I was, uh, hanging out with Mark.”

“Tell her why you were wearing my clothes.” His voice is laced with warning.

She looks at him and rolls her eyes. “God, you’re whipped.” His eyes narrow at her. “Fine. I spilled something on my shirt, so I grabbed one of yours.”

“So we’re clear, you hooked up with Mark last night, not me.” His eyes are fire, his voice rough.

“Yes, dickhead. I hooked up with Mark. Can I leave now?”

“Tell her why we went to Rhode Island.”

She grabs a long lock of red hair and twirls it between her perfectly manicured fingers. “We were investigating Wheeler.”

“Thank you. Now leave.”

The dismayed expression on Angelique’s face dissolves into open hostility a split second before she exhales in disgust and storms out of my building, the door slamming behind her.

I stare after her, a little dumbfounded.

“Hey,” he says, nudging me. “Let’s go talk. There’s more.”

* * *

H
ow could there possibly be more
? Gavin takes my hand and walks me back upstairs. I follow, quiet, trying to make sense of the last five minutes of my life.

When we get into my apartment, I turn on a few lights and sit at one end of the couch, pressing myself as far as I can into the corner. I grab the green throw pillow and squeeze it.

Gavin sits next to me, leaving a little space.

“I need to tell you everything, so you understand.”

My head is still trying to process what Angelique said when he gently touches my face, startling me.

He shakes his head, looking almost hurt that I reacted to his touch by flinching. Pulling me against him, he kisses the top of my head and holds me several minutes. I find myself taking slow, deliberate breaths, trying to relax.
Gavin didn’t cheat. He didn’t lie.
The thoughts racing through me send a pang through my chest at my own distrust of him. At my doubt. But even though I know the truth, I’m still shaken.

I think I’m in shock, the toll of what’s happened over the last few weeks slamming into me. Gavin seems to understand, and he runs his hands down my hair with soft, light touches that reassure. I pull away so I can see him. He looks exhausted. His brows are furrowed, pinched into a V on his otherwise handsome face.

“Clementine, don’t get mad, okay? I want you to hear the whole story.”

I look at him wearily, but he doesn’t wait for my response.

“After seeing what happened with you and Wheeler at the student union, I felt like I needed to do something to protect you.” He licks his lips and closes his eyes briefly. “I thought I could find some dirt so he’d have a good reason to stay away from you. I have a friend who works in the HR department who let me take a peek at his employment file, and I noticed a strange letter from a university in Rhode Island.

“At first, it looked pretty standard, a letter confirming his attendance, but then I noticed it had two different names on it. In the subject line, it said Justin Whitmire, but in the body, it said Jason Wheeler, which made me curious. I dug more and found that his family donated five million dollars shortly after he transferred to a different college mid-semester. That
definitely
piqued my interest. Enough to troll through some of the school's message boards and find rumors about a girl who said she'd been raped by another student around the same time. But there was nothing about it in the press. The police didn't have a record of it either.”

He squeezes my hand gently. “Considering what you went through with him your freshman year, I thought this warranted a deeper look. I spoke to my managing editor about going to Rhode Island to investigate further, and Angelique overheard and demanded that she come with me. I wanted to handle it on my own, but my boss agreed she should come, and that was the end of the discussion. “

Sighing, he shakes his head. “We were about to knock on the dean’s door to ask if Wheeler was in any way connected to the girl who claimed she was raped when the FBI interceded. They feared we’d somehow jeopardize their investigation of Olivia Lawrence, so we were told to back off. Now, as a member of the press, I’m under no obligation to do that, but the agent…”

Running his hands through his hair, his agitation evident, he sighs.

“Agent Robertson knew who you were. Knew about us. I wasn’t going to disclose your connection to Wheeler, but the FBI already knew.” He shakes his head in frustration. “Robertson said Wheeler was possibly a sociopath, and that if he really viewed me as a threat, as someone who might get in his way, he might take it out on you.”

“Which is why you became so distant.” I can barely say the words.

“Yes.”

His eyes are so full of worry and regret that everything I’ve been bottling up, all of the feelings I’ve been trying to block, come rushing back to me. I have a hard time swallowing.

His jaw clenches. “I don’t know if you want to hear this, but my
Globe
editor told me the FBI found surveillance photos Wheeler took of you running at night. He had a whole wall of pictures of you at his house.”

“So he
was
stalking me?” My words come out a whisper.

“Yeah.” Gavin closes his eyes briefly, and when he opens them, I see the dread on his face. “I don’t know what I would have done if that sick fucker had hurt you.”

He pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me. I nuzzle against his neck, too overcome to say anything.

Gavin kisses my cheek. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t tell you the truth. It was killing me that you stopped trusting me.”

My eyes sting with tears. Wheeler could have attacked me on any given night. My body shudders against Gavin’s chest. In my head, I hear that Beatles song about killing the girl, and I can’t hold back the sob that erupts. Everything from Wheeler’s threats to Angelique in her underwear totally unhinge me and hot tears stream down my face.

“Darlin’, don’t cry.” He hugs me tighter. “I’m so sorry for all of this. I was trying to make things better for you with that asshole.”

He holds me while I weep, soothing me with soft words until the tears stop.

“I was waiting for the FBI to arrest him, which I thought would happen sooner, and then it didn’t help that Angelique started antagonizing you. She’s pissed because I wouldn’t let her write the article that the newspaper is publishing this week.”

A small tremor runs through my body, a deep breath I’m finally able to take.

“Why can’t she write it?” I ask, muffled by his chest.

“It’s a conflict of interest. I can’t write it because of my connection to you and the fact that I threatened Wheeler. Angelique shouldn’t do it either because she isn’t unbiased. She obviously doesn’t like you. I told our boss that and recused both of us last week.”

Pulling back from him, I wipe my cheeks. “I don’t understand the significance of Wheeler’s name. Is he also Justin Whitmire?” I sniffle and reach for a Starbucks napkin on the coffee table.

Gavin’s eyebrows pinch when he sees me. I’m probably red and splotchy. I smile weakly, and he takes my hand.

“He was known as Justin J. Whitmire growing up, but after his mother died when he was in high school, his uncle, who was the governor at the time, adopted him. But Wheeler didn't change his name until after he transferred from that college, presumably to distance himself from those rape rumors.”

I sit there, absorbing everything.

Maybe I can put Wheeler behind me now. For good.

Part of me is overwhelmed by the past few days, but more than anything, I’m grateful. Grateful for this wonderful guy sitting next to me.

I glance up and Gavin smiles, and it feels like the clouds have parted. He pulls me to him for a soft kiss.

“I’ve missed you,” he says against my mouth.

That’s when I realize what I want to tell him, what I need to tell him. I push on his chest. “Nothing is going on with Daren.”

“I know.” One side of Gavin’s mouth tugs up in a half grin. “I ran into him this morning coming back from the
Free Press
office. I guess he and your brother were stopping by your apartment to talk to your roommates.” Gavin ducks his head and laughs. “Daren asked me why I was breaking your heart and told me that if I didn’t get my head out of my ass, he’d take it out for me.”

“Oh, Jesus. I’m sorry.” I lean back and cover my face, completely embarrassed. “He used to be really protective when we were little, and since we made amends, he’s been going a little caveman on me. I’m scared to ask what else he said.”

Gavin rubs my cheek, like he’s trying to savor the fact that we’re finally able to talk again. “Just that he would have, and I quote, ‘given his left nut to have you express your feelings about him the way you did about me,’ and that if I was smart, I’d do whatever I could to win you back.” His lips turn up into a smile. “I guess you weren’t very expressive when you were in high school.”

My fingers run over the buttons on his shirt. “That’s putting it mildly.”

“I know. I read your book.”

That’s when my heart stops. I’m pretty sure that blood flow to my brain has also ceased.

“Clementine, breathe.” He chuckles again and brings my face closer to his. “You’re a phenomenal writer. Your novel had this beautiful dark humor mixed with some really poetic elements. I mean, it made me want to beat the shit out of your ex, but since he started trying to be noble, I can’t really hold a grudge.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that.”

I squeeze him tighter, half afraid that if I let go, he’ll disappear. He shakes his head. “Then I got this phone call from Ryan who started swearing at me because he heard you saw a half-naked Angelique in my room, and that’s when I hunted her down so she could explain what happened.” He clears his throat. “I can’t imagine what you were thinking after seeing her last night. God, I still feel fucked up over that.”

“It’s okay. I should be the one to apologize for not trusting you.”

He shakes his head as he runs his hands down my arms. “I don’t blame you for that reaction. I would have felt the same way, and it was unfair of me to ask you to blindly believe me. But honestly, I wasn’t sure what to do.”

I can’t get over Gavin, how he tried to help me, how far he went to protect me. He starts to grumble again about what happened last night, and I twist in his arms to look at him eye to eye.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

Tilting his head, he smirks. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a way with words?”

I raise my eyebrows. “What happened to the shutting up and the kissing?”

That does the trick.