Dear Emily (14 page)

“We can’t give up our benefits, Emily,” the ever-practical Lena said.

“I know, but we can take out a group policy. It will be cheaper than what we’re all paying now. Yours are still high, Lena, and your employer pays most of it. We’ll all be partners. I can put up the money. How much is twenty-five hundred dollars times twenty-four?”

“Sixty thousand dollars,” Martina said.

“Okay, I’m going to pay two years ahead. I don’t care if it’s stupid or not. We’ll all feel better knowing we aren’t going to lose the roof over our heads. The shore house pretty much pays for itself, and if I sell, Ian gets half and I don’t even know where he is to have him sign the papers. Do you think the others will go for this?” Emily asked anxiously.

“If somebody offered this to you, what would you do, Emily?” Lena asked.

“I’m all for taking chances. We aren’t kids anymore. I think all of us have learned a lot these past few years. Since there isn’t anyone around to take care of us, not that we want that, but since there isn’t, we have to do it ourselves. I’d love to know I”m going to have a stress-free, luxurious old age. I don’t want to struggle and just get by. I had that for too many years. I want better now and I’m willing to work my tail off if you girls will agree.”

“No more bedpans,” Martina chirped.

“No more coupons, no more paper cuts from the grocery bags,” Lena said. “Exercise clinics. Sounds promising.”

“For women our age,” Emily added. “Nutritional, exercise clinics.”

“What makes that different from health clubs?” Martina asked. “In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a health center on every corner.”

“And who do you see going in there? Certainly not women our age. Two years ago when I first started my exercise routine, I would have died before I walked into one of those places. My fat rolls had rolls of their own. Furthermore, I didn’t think they made those cute little workout suits in my size. I’m still not sure they make them, and even if they do, can you see one of us in one? If we can get this off the ground, it’s something we should look into. If we’re going to sweat, we should look as good and be as comfortable as we can. The way I see it, shame and embarrassment are going to be our two biggest hurdles. This is all off the top of my head now. I was so angry with Mr. Squire’s negative comments that I blurted out I was going to open a clinic. Then I ran with it and I’m still running.”

“We’re going to need a plan, for home and for your clinic. Businessmen are always talking about a well-oiled machine. We need that,” Lena said.

“Yes, we do. We have to assign out our house chores. Someone has to cook, no more of this each person making her own food. Someone has to help with the yard work. Someone has to pay the bills. I guess that’s me. We’re going to have laundry and grocery shopping to do. None of that is going to change, but we can work out something. I want us to have pension plans,” Emily added. “It’s a must.”

“Are we going to incorporate? I think you need to do that or you pay a lot of taxes. We’ll have to hire an attorney.”

Emily turned white. “I…I have to think about that. Tonight, after we talk to the others, I’ll make out a list. Do you think the others will go for this?”

“I think so. When it comes right down to it, what do any of us really have to lose? It won’t be a hard sell if that’s what’s worrying you,” Martina said.

Four hours later she said, “See, I told you it wouldn’t be a hard sell.”

“Details to be worked out. I say we all give our notice tomorrow,” Nancy said. “Let’s vote.”

“Guess that means the die is cast. In two weeks we’ll all be unemployed. Fresh coffee is called for,” Zoë said, hopping off her chair. “I don’t know the first thing about running an exercise clinic,” she called over her shoulder.

“I don’t either,” Emily said cheerfully. “We’re going to learn real fast, though. Now listen to this. When Ian and I opened our first clinic, we more or less fell into it. At least that’s the way Ian explained it to me. We did them one at a time. I think, and this is just my opinion, that we should open a bunch all at one time. Storefronts, so rent is low. We can fix them inside. So what if they aren’t fancy from the street. It’s what’s inside and the people working there that are important. Word of mouth is going to help.” Her voice was confident sounding.

“What’s a bunch?” Kelly asked anxiously.

“Well, there’s eight of us, so I say we go for eight.”

“Oh, no,” Rose and Helen said together. “We have to be with each other. What’s wrong with seven?”

“Eight is better. There are two of you and two pensions and two sets of health plans. It has to be this way or it won’t work,” Emily said gently.

“Cut the umbilical cord already,” Martha said, passing coffee cups around the table. “Sure it will be different in the beginning, but like anything else, you’ll get the hang of it. Think of it as the ultimate in adventures. Or this is where they separate the women from the girls. You aren’t girls anymore. You need to think about the future. How much longer can you go on with your tree-cutting business? You said business isn’t that good.”

“We’ve never been apart,” Helen said miserably.

“You can talk on the phone. You can meet for lunch. You can ride to work together, one drops the other off. You can do it,” Lena said positively. “Think of it as a monster tree that needs to be topped and no one wants to do it but you and Rose. You know it can be done. So can this.

“It’s going to be as new to us as it is to you. The good part is we’ll help one another,” Lena said. “I can’t wait to see our screwups.”

“Will you give it a try?” Emily asked.

In unison the twins bobbed their heads.

“Good. Tomorrow I’ll call an agent and scout around for storefronts. I think strip malls might be a good idea or someplace that’s in close proximity to a supermarket. Lena, can you post a notice on the bulletin board once we get started?”

“Sure. I can get a list of all the customers at the health food store. The bulk of them are our age or older. This might surprise you, but most of the people who work in the supermarkets, especially during the day, are women my age. I can get a list from the shop steward. I might even be able to get a list of
all
the employees from other supermarkets too.”

“I can put a notice up at the hospital,” Martina said.

“I can do the library. We have a lot of chubbies who love to read. I’ll take on all the libraries in a five-mile radius. We’re staying local, right?”

“For now I think so,” Emily said.

“I’m off tomorrow. Do you want me to call around about the equipment?” Nancy asked.

“That would be great. Find out about leasing versus buying outright. We’ll need eight of everything so you might be able to cut a deal. All those places have 800 numbers, so you can spend as much time on the phone as you want. Find out about service contracts and what their time record is for repairs. We need professional machines, not the kind I have,” Emily said.

“One of my customers is a lawyer. Would you like me to call her after work and set up an appointment to work out details?” Lena asked.

“Okay, that’s your job, Lena.”

Emily looked at the twins. “How busy are you for the next few days?”

“Slow,” they said in unison.

“Okay, then it’s your job to call insurance companies for quotes on health insurance. Can you handle brokerage houses to find out about how you go about setting up a pension fund?” Both heads bobbed up and down at the same time.

“Lena, while you’re getting the lists from the health food store, can you find out where we can get herbs and vitamins wholesale?”

“Can do,” Lena agreed.

“Zoë, you’re the librarian. Find out about health codes, licenses, and all that stuff. Especially bathrooms. We’ll need showers. Most storefronts don’t have anything like that. It could be costly. It’s possible the owners might make some concessions.

“Martha, you check out printers for mailers and business cards and advertising. We want anything that’s free or has a discount attached. Push eight clinics and don’t be afraid to mention the word
competitor.”

“What are we going to call ourselves?” Zoë asked. Seven pairs of eyes stared at her blankly. “We need a name.”

“Yes, we do. Okay, everybody, let’s see what we can come up with,” Emily said.

“It should have something to do with Emily. It’s her idea and she’s the one putting up the money,” Martina said. “God, I just love the idea of us being our own bosses. I never, ever thought this would happen. More coffee, Zoë.”

Suddenly, Emily felt like the proud mother of eight grown children. It was a wonderful feeling, sitting here with her friends, all of whom were bending over backward to be fair to her, complimenting her and doing it sincerely, from their hearts. This is going to work. It has to work. I’m going to make it work.

They brainstormed far into the night with no results. What one person liked, three persons disliked. “I say we call it Emily’s Blast-off Clinic and be done with it,” Martina said wearily. She was booed lustily.

“I like the Figure Perfect Clinic,” the twins said at the same time.

“I like the Fresh Start Clinic,” Zoë grunted.

“Tell me one thing that’s wrong with The Second Chance Clinic. I happen to love it because that’s exactly what it is,” Lena grumbled.

“Yeah, well, I happen to like Starting Over Clinic,” Nancy said.

“Listen, all of you. None of the names you came up with have Emily’s name in them. I say we vote right now to call it Emily’s Fitness Clinic,” Kelly said.

The women stared at her, their mouths open. “No one came up with that name all evening,” Zoë said. “I like it.” The others agreed.

“What do you think, Emily?” Lena asked.

“If you all agree, then it’s okay with me. A show of hands. Okay, we are now, officially, Emily’s Fitness Clinic. Good night everybody.”

Emily slept deeply and peacefully. Tonight there were no demons invading her rest.

I
t took a full thirty days before Emily’s Fitness Clinics were ready to open. All the legalities, all the permits, all the licenses were finally posted on the walls of the eight locations. The last bathroom, then the last inspection, was completed.

Emily had been stunned when the attorney told her the others wanted her to have a full half of the business, the other half to be divided seven ways. Emily agreed, but only if a sizable bonus was given to each woman at the end of the year. She herself would forgo the bonus. It was so agreed among all eight women.

“I feel like a fidgety cat who’s about to get neutered,” Emily said on the morning the keys to the eight locations were handed over by the rental agency.

“This is the best part, prettying up the places,” Lena said. “When things look pretty, women feel pretty. Pretty makes you smile. Pretty makes you happy doing what you’re doing. I’m glad we all agreed on our decor.”

“Listen up, everyone,” Lena said. “Do not forget today is the day the
Courier
is coming to take our pictures. Do you all have your sweatshirts that I very lovingly stitched the words
Emily’s Fitness Clinic
on? We’re wearing them. It’s free publicity. The
Star Ledger
is tomorrow and the
News Tribune
is Friday.”

Emily felt like an indulgent mother as she watched her friends leave, their cars loaded down with supplies and what Lena called “decor.” She was going to her location as soon as she finished working out with her personal trainer, Ben Jackson. She looked at her watch; he was five minutes late. Usually he was on time or early. She drank a cup of coffee standing by the window. She wanted one of her cigarettes, but she tried never to smoke until an hour after her workout with Ben. She was down to five cigarettes a day.

She smiled when she saw Ben’s car, grinned when she saw him pick a flower, which he would hand to her when he came through the kitchen door. He was a handsome man, physically fit, divorced. More important, he was a kind man with a gentle smile.

“I picked this just for you. I have to treat my clients right.” He smiled. His smile was contagious. It set the mood for the workout session. “Catch!”

“Ben, these are ten pound weights. I have trouble with five. C’mon.”

“Let’s go, Emily. You want to tone up, this is the only way to go.”

“How come you were late this morning?”

“Business to take care of,” he said curtly.

“In other words, none of my business. Sorry I asked. You don’t look happy, Ben.”

“Don’t talk, work. I’m counting, let’s go.”

When the hour session was over, Emily collapsed on the mat in the middle of the floor. Ben handed her a bottle of water. She gulped at it then wiped the sweat from her forehead. “Forget these weights. I’m going back to five next time.”

“Then get yourself another trainer,” Ben said.

“Testy, aren’t we? This is too much for me, Ben. I’m breathing like a racehorse.”

“I wouldn’t have you use a ten-pound weight if I didn’t think you were ready. I’m the trainer, remember? Are you sure you aren’t the one who’s testy?”

“I am uptight. Today we start to get the clinics ready. The others have a head start on me. Ben, sometimes it helps to talk things out. You said that to me a few weeks ago. I have a good ear.”

“My ex is getting married in two weeks. That means my son is going to have two fathers. They want to adopt him. I said no. They said I wouldn’t have to pay child support anymore. I said no again.”

“What does your son want?”

“To live with me. His mother won’t allow it. He’s only eleven so what he wants doesn’t count,” Ben said, flopping down on the mat next to Emily.

“I guess you aren’t looking for advice, huh?”

“Not really. He’s my son and I’m not giving him up. God, I love that kid. Just because his mother and I couldn’t get along doesn’t mean he and I can’t have a relationship.”

Emily wondered why he hadn’t married again. A good catch, she thought. “Would it make things different if you were remarried? Would you have joint custody then instead of visitation rights?”

“I’d have to go back to court. Hey, you’re looking at one burned fella here. I’m never getting married again.”

“I feel like that, too,” Emily said, hugging her knees. “We aren’t being fair, you know that, don’t you? There are a lot of nice men and women out there. Take my roommates, they’re the best. I offered to introduce you to them, but you said no. You’ve been divorced for seven years. Life is going to pass you by.”

“What would you say if I said I wanted to kiss you?”

“For starters, I’d say what took you so long?”

“Brazen, aren’t you?”

“It goes with the new me.”

“You see, that’s my problem, I’m still the old me.”

“Do you get off on wallowing? It only works for a while. I’m the living proof, Ben. You haven’t severed your ties yet; at least that’s the way I see it.”

“And I suppose you have?”

“I’m trying. I’m moving on, trying new things, doing new things. I want to learn how to laugh all over again. I still cry sometimes. It seems to me you’re just going through the motions of filling up your days.”

He kissed her then to shut her up. She responded hungrily, demanding he carry the kiss further. He pushed her away.

“I don’t know about you, but I
liked
that. Let’s do it again.”

“I don’t like to be used,” Ben said flatly, his gray eyes full of pain.

“I don’t either,” Emily said. She crooked her finger under his nose. “C’mere.”

They whispered and tussled, each afraid, yet unafraid, as they tried to shed their clothes without ungluing their lips.

“It’s been a long time,” someone whispered.

“Too long,” someone else whispered.

The plastic mat was slick with sweat, but it had the effect of a dose of cold water. Emily jerked away, her arms crossing her breasts. “I…I can’t do this…I’m sorry, Ben. I…I thought I could, but I’m not ready…”

“Hey, don’t mind me, I’m just a guy sitting here with an erection even I can’t believe. What the hell happened?” he groaned.

“It’s me. The physical side of me wants…but my head…I’m not ready. Please don’t be upset.”

“Well, goddamn it, Emily, I am upset. You get me all lathered up, I’m buck-ass naked in front of a client. I’ll turn around and you get dressed. Look, I’m not angry. I think I even understand.”

Fully clothed, they sat on the mat and stared at one another. They burst out laughing at the same time.

“Friends,” Emily said, holding out her hand.

“Friends,” Ben said solemnly. “For whatever this is worth, Emily, you’re the first woman I’ve gotten close to for a long time. You’re special, Emily. For some reason I don’t think you know that yet, but you are.”

“That’s the nicest compliment anyone’s ever given me, Ben.” Suddenly, she was shy, unable to look at the man whose naked body she’d just mashed herself into.

“Well, I gotta be on my way. I have to go all the way to Murray Hill for my next session. Good luck with your decorating. If you need someone to hang curtains or drive nails, I’m a phone call away. I’d like to help, I really would.”

“If I need you, I’ll call,” Emily said in the kitchen doorway. “Drive carefully.”

“You’re the only person who ever says that to me.” Ben grinned. “I will. Have a nice day and don’t overdo it.”

“Bye, Ben.”

“Bye, Emily.”

Her adrenaline was still pumping so Emily opted for her second shower of the day. An hour later she was carrying boxes and bags into her new fitness center that was off Highway 27 with easy access from the road. There was adequate parking, and if she ever needed an overflow, the side streets would be handy.

It’s ironic, she thought, that I’m between a bakery and a pizza parlor. Think positive, Emily. The rent was just right and the management company had agreed to install two showers and add a second bathroom. They agreed to pay half for the mirrored wall, but refused to lay down new tile or buy blinds for the huge plate glass window. She’d taken a three-year lease. She didn’t know if it was a mistake or not. If things worked out, the rent was secure with no raises. Time to get things off the ground.

Emily looked around. Two thousand square feet seemed like a lot when the room was empty. Now with the rows of machines it didn’t seem so big. Everything looked new, fresh and unused. Women liked things like that. At least she did. She dusted her hands dramatically before she started to unpack the boxes and bags.

She blinked when she held up the valances that matched the lightning bolt wallpaper Zoë said was a must. “You look at it and you want to move.” The jagged streaks were every color of the spectrum and Zoë was right—just looking at the paper gave you an itch to move. The chairs and desk were plastic, bright in color and bought from Ikea. The floor was white and would be washed and waxed each night before closing. Modular shelves, all colors, rose from the floor to the ceiling behind the bright blue desk and Stop sign red chair.

The small room off the main exercise room was decorated in a soothing pale shade of green. It was carpeted in a deeper shade of green, still soothing and comfortable-looking. Nine futons lined the walls. Soft music would play in the background. This was the cooling-down room where clients would go to when they finished working out.

A small refrigerator filled with water, juices, and diet soft drinks stood in the corner. A bank in the shape of a large green apple was on top. Customers were on the honor system to deposit seventy-five cents if they bought a drink. The only other thing in the room was a small fish tank with two tropical fish named Harry and Harriet. Supposedly, watching fish swim relaxed a person. Ian had installed them in all his clinics and patients had commented on it. Ian went so far as to say watching the fish would bring a person’s blood pressure down.

The bathrooms, with two showers each, were tiled, one in blue, one in pink with matching floors. The towels were pink and blue, all of them sewed by Lena, who’d bought toweling by the yard. They’d saved a small fortune by hemming their own and the plan was to install four sets of washers and dryers between the eight locations. According to Zoë, the machines would pay for themselves within a few months, provided they had customers who would use the towels. Emily had gotten a cramp in her stomach the day she wrote out the check to Tops for thirty-four hundred dollars. If things were slow, they could do their personal laundry, which Zoë said was advisable because they weren’t paying for water and electricity at the clinics. It still boggled Emily’s mind that the management company had agreed to absorb the electric and water bills. Possibly it was her grim determination, her don’t-haggle-with-me, I-have-other-places-I-can-rent attitude. Whatever it was, she’d made a good deal and she knew it.

The bright yellow phone on the bright blue desk rang. Emily sat down in the bright red chair and grinned from ear to ear. “Emily’s Fitness Center,” she said cheerfully.

“Ooohhh,
call me back so I can say the same thing.” Lena laughed. “You sound so good. How’s it going?”

“I got the valance up. It looks great. All the towels are folded. My appointment book is still empty and so is the registration book. I just love it. I feel like I should be jumping around, doing something.”

“That’s the object. Did you hang your bell over the door?”

“Nope, that’s what I’m going to do next. Do you think we made a mistake by not putting in some green plants? What do you think?”

“They cost money. I’m finished here so I can pick some up at the greenhouse if you think we need them.”

“We don’t
need
them, but they would look nice. They’ll reflect off the mirrors and look like we have twice as many. Some greenery on the shelves behind the desk would look nice. Maybe some philodendrons in clay pots or bright-colored pots. Do you have any money on you?”

“Three bucks, just enough for lunch. We need to start bringing lunch. Buying out is going to cost all of us. Kelly said she’d be willing to pack lunches for a while then we can take turns. I’ll stop by for a check and head over to the greenhouse.”

When Lena returned at two o’clock, her car loaded down with greenery, they transferred half of it to Emily’s car and delivered the plants to the other six clinics. The philodendron for the shelves were in red, blue, and bright yellow pots. “It cost a little more, but I thought it added something,” Lena said. They all agreed.

At four o’clock they were lined up like kids for a camp picture, dressed in their new sweatshirts, smiling for the reporter and photographer from the
Courier
. When it was over, Emily said, “I think it went well. I bet women flock in here day after tomorrow when we open for business. Get out your quarters, everyone, we’re going to toast something.”

“What?” Lena demanded. “We can’t just make toasts willy-nilly. We need a reason.”

“Well, we just had our picture taken, the clinics are technically open for business, we bought green plants, Kelly is going to start making lunches for all of us. All of that should be worth a toast. And if you don’t like that list, how about I
almost,
the key word here is
almost,
had sex with Ben this morning. I fizzled out.”

She was sharing with her peers, her friends—something she’d never had the opportunity to do before. They weren’t going to judge her nor would they heckle her. If anything, they’d offer advice which she might or might not take.

“What kind of body does he have? Did he look like the Liberated Stud?” Martina demanded.

“Who had time to look? All of a sudden, there I was, drenched in my own sweat on that slick mat and I couldn’t do it. I pulled away and covered my breasts with my arms. I suppose I acted like a fool, but I…I wanted to, but part of me wouldn’t follow through. He was real nice about it; he even looked away while I put my clothes back on. After a while we both laughed about it. Do you think it means I’m still wrapped up in Ian? God, what if I can’t be with another man? I like sex. It’s that physical
fix
everyone needs from time to time. I’m tired of channeling my sex drive in other directions. I want it!”