Deadly Wands (29 page)

“I hate shitty wands,” Billy deadpanned.

“Why destroy the Siamese Empire?” someone
asked.

“My parent’s murder put me in a killer
mood.”

“Another orphan! You’ll fit in here. All of
us have lost a loved one. It’s why we fight without pay.”

“You’re not all filthy rich?” This shocked
Billy. “I’ve given Free Europe ships literally full of wealth, and
you guys are poor? You should all be richer than Marcus
Crassus!”

Judging by the silence, they were neither
rich nor aware of the guy who shared the first triumvirate with
Julius Caesar and Pompey the Great. Well, Billy didn’t become
famous for ignoring opportunities.

“Tonight I’ll pay anyone who agrees to follow
me until we win the war all the coin that they can carry.”

Princess instantly accepted, but the rest
thought that hilarious. “You mean we’re gonna win in our
lifetimes?” Bear joked.

“Yes. I’ll pay as much coin as you can
carry,” Billy insisted. “Tonight.”

That shut them up.

“I think he’s serious,” Jack said in the
awkward silence.

Bear signed up next. “The fool gave me Buri’s
wands for free, so I’m in.”

Everyone seemed to wait for Grandma, not
Jack, who conveniently disappeared.

“I can carry a lot of coin,” Grandma warned
Billy.

“You only commit yourself if you can take as
much as you can carry.”

“There’s over one hundred of us.”

“Then you better bring some friends,” Billy
shot back, upping the ante. Oh, he had them now. “What’s it gonna
be, Grandma?”

“Why do I get the feeling that Red is flying
circles around me. All right, damn it, I’m yours if you show me the
coin. Now stop teasing my curiosity by telling me how.”

Surrounded by dangerous strangers, Billy
smiled. “Has no one figured it out? I only arrived in Spain
yesterday, yet I’m promising over one hundred quads over one
hundred kilos each.” No one yelled out the obvious, so Billy clued
them. “I bet on every duel today, and rolled over the winnings onto
the next duel. According to the stadium manager, I won the
equivalent of ten gold tons today. That’s one hundred gold kilos
carried by one hundred fliers. But much of it will be in silver and
bronze, so we literally have more coin than we can carry, and it’s
all legally mine. In the Bank of Mongolia in Barcelona. Until the
Mongol governor confiscates it in the morning. Unless we withdraw
my winnings tonight.”

They cheered as one and hugged Billy until he
almost suffocated. Under Jack, they risked their lives for
centuries without pay. With the Red Baron, they became rich the day
they met him.

It surprised Billy how many non-Europeans he
shook hands with. Several from Africa and a hell of a lot from
Asia. Three hundred years breeding with the world's best quads
resulted in some fascinating company. A lady -- and almost half of
them were ladies -- passed him a plate and cup as everyone gathered
around to hear the interview.

"This is delicious. What is it?" Billy
asked.

"Fried bull testicles basted in saffron paste
with coriander sprinkle," Bear lied with a straight face.

"Damn it," Billy replied, not missing a beat.
"I just had that for breakfast."

“Tell us your story, Red,” a beautiful
redhead asked.

"Mongols have killed ten generations of my
ancestors, so I’ve paid them back by personally killing a million
Mongols."

Billy could tell his claim was hard to
believe.

“How good are you at lying?” Bear asked out
of curiosity.

“I once fell face first in a steaming pile of
fresh doodoo,” Billy said matter-of-factly. “And let me tell you,
it tasted like shit!” Surrounded by smiling faces, he played it
straight. “It turns out I judged my mother’s mutton too harshly.
Until then, I thought it tasted like crap.”

“No offense, Red, but you sound too young to
have killed so many.”

Billy took off his shirt and walked around
the fire so everyone could get a good look at his debt score, as he
called it. The multiple levels of cuts, burns and bruises clearly
came from a hell of a lot of fights.

Billy found himself among comedians.

"They cooked you more than the boar we're
roasting," Bear commented.

"Pink is a more accurate name than Red. And
the Pink Baron has a nice ring to it.”

"Have you tried wearing armor?"

"No offense, but you look better with a shirt
on."

"Did they give you a free scar after the
first million?"

"I can see why you enjoy dueling. Do you also
punch yourself in the nuts?"

"You still have a little untouched skin. I
can scorch that for you if you want."

The jokes kept coming, but he could tell it
impressed them. Despite his youth, he had worked the trenches. Then
he reached Grandma. The tiny old Asian lady projected gravitas that
Julius Caesar would envy.

"How have you survived?"

"I'll show you after dinner."

"Over my dead body!" Princess yelled to
general laughter, even though she clearly was not joking.

"So you're all vacationing behind enemy
lines?" Billy asked.

Jack answered: "We're killing time and
Mongols until my African division arrives so we can start
emigrating Americans to Africa to take the continent from the
Empire.”

“Your African division?” Billy didn’t move,
but he seemed to grow taller. “They signed up with me when they
accepted my super wands and salary. I even reimbursed you for the
cost of their training. I want the Africans to roll up the Mongols
in Spain from the south while the Americans on the Pyrenees do the
same from the north.”

Billy explained his father’s plan. “Before we
take Africa, we’re gonna kick the Mongols out of Spain because that
will simplify a defensive line along the Pyrenees Mountain Range,
which blocks the Iberian Peninsula from the rest of Europe. Without
Mongols in Spain, we have safe harbors for our ships and a safe
corridor for our fliers. Our troops can fight the enemy rather than
escort our civilians. I’ve already spoken with the king of England,
who has agreed to help the Americans through.”

Billy didn’t mean to replace their leader,
but that’s how it came across. The silence only grew louder since
he basically cut off Jack at the knees.

“Grandma?” Bear asked their best general

“Taking Africa will be easier, faster, and
cheaper with safe harbors and a safe land route, so I’m going with
the guy who spanks Genghis Khan every summer. But can you really
fund forty thousand marathoners?” she asked Billy.

“I could afford a million. They’re cheaper
than the hundreds of highways I’m funding in the Americas.”

Bear started laughing. "I'm beginning to see
what Princess sees in this guy. I never liked kids. Not even my
own. But, I’ve got to tell you, I really like this boy.”

Their campfire had gone out, so Billy thought
he’d give them a show.

"You folks look like you’ve seen everything.
I bet I can show you something new." They answered with a cheerful
roar. All except Princess. "What about you, my little princess? You
don't want to bet?"

Billy regretted taunting her as soon as the
words left his lips. She stood up and stared him down.

"I will never, ever, bet against you. I want
to have your children and take care of you for the rest of my
life."

Billy was hovering over them, but her words
somehow turned off his wands, something that had never happened
before. He crashed into several warriors who roughly pushed him off
into the dirt, Baron or not. They backed up defensively in
fear.

"I think I just fell in love," he mumbled in
a daze, not able to even get up.

Princess looked frozen, but Grandma, next to
her, screamed like a Banshee.

"Not with you, Grandma!" Billy joked. "With
the young, beautiful one."

"I’m not available," Bear deadpanned.

Billy and Princess shared a long look, then
he smiled as he popped up above them, releasing a raw primal scream
and lighting up all four wands. His forty meter-long wingspan gave
them chills. They stared at him in utter silence. Sure, they saw
the videos, but those didn’t do him justice. It was the difference
between watching porn versus starring in porn. The entire camp
applauded. Never had Billy felt so much like he belonged.

"Jack, you got any clean underwear I can
borrow?" Bear asked.

Jack said nothing, stunned at how
effortlessly he had been replaced.

Diva, a beautiful Irish redhead, got so
excited she flew over them and performed an incredible aerial fire
dance that expressed her joy better than words could convey.
Princess flew up to tackle him in the air. They landed in the brush
and she started undressing him.

Bear admonished her: "Not here! Some of us
are sensitive. Not me. I actually like to watch, but Jack is kind
of squeamish.”

"I’m taking him, Grandma," she said,
challenging the old veteran. “I’ve saved my virginity long
enough.”

Indeed, at a time of low life expectancy,
most girls mated at puberty, yet Princess waited years longer.

"You were right, my dear. He’s the one,"
Grandma agreed.

Princess grabbed him by the front of his
pants and led him away. When Ox, a beefy warrior, didn't move out
of her way fast enough, her wand threw him into the brush.

Billy had not felt this happy since he was
orphaned.

CHAPTER 35

Dozens of them flew to find friends, so they
didn’t actually empty the bank until just before dawn. Princess
couldn’t wake Billy up after sex, anyways. All banks have thick
walls cemented with mortar, but Billy punched a hole through it
quickly. With the city battalion dead, the militia tried to stop
them, but they charged blind instead of massing together. The
fighting woke most of the city, but most assumed the Americans were
bombing again.

Billy landed them at noon in the middle of
nowhere so they could rest. The poor bastards indeed took all the
coin they could carry. Billy backtracked, but soon returned to get
them into position to ambush their pursuers.

Leaving the wealth in a gully, Team Red (as
they decided to call themselves) dived out of the sun to take the
militia from behind. The few hundred super-quads devastated a few
thousand mediocre quads. After that, Billy’s newest employees
enjoyed a much overdue vacation in Madrid. The Spanish King
insisted on staging a huge feast in the Baron’s honor, while
ignoring American Jack, and recounted at length how the gold and
wands the Baron sent saved his people.

Billy and Princess stayed the longest to
party like newlyweds. His fifteenth birthday was coming up, so he
showed her his birth certificate that claimed he was turning
seventeen. He bought her expensive jewelry and transferred a ton of
gold into her account in anticipation of their first child. The
prospect of having a child, then not being alive to support it,
horrified Billy. Ultimately, however, they had to go back to
work.

Flying high, they spotted a company of
Spanish airmen chasing two squads of Mongols. But then two
companies of Mongols sprang up on both sides as soon as the Spanish
passed them. No matter which way they fled, the Spanish were
screwed.

Billy silently sliced the ten quads guarding
the ceiling. They all fell like rocks, having no idea what hit
them. Then they sped after the next forty, cutting them from behind
until survivors noticed and shot back. Billy and Princess stayed
with them, even as they banked left towards their comrades.

Discovering the imminent trap shocked the
Spanish, who abandoned the two squads ahead to turn on those
fighting Billy and Princess. The two groups quickly closed. At the
last moment, Billy appeared above the Mongols and distracted them
with his famous scream. Princess then shot from above to target the
enemy from three places.

The Spanish rose so they all faced the
Mongols and fired like a ship's broadside. Blasts travel farther
from height, so the Mongols had to gain speed and altitude before
the Spanish got into range. The Spanish, however, pulled off an old
Mongol trick by flying backwards at a 30 degree angle -- extending
their broadside until they destroyed the enemy.

The other Mongol company positioned
themselves favorably against the Spanish while the two Mongol
squads raced back. Billy used himself as bait to delay their
attack. The reward for killing the Red Baron would set them up for
life, so they attacked him instead. Once they dove, he led them in
front of the Spanish, who devastated them. When the two Mongol
squads fled, Billy and Princess hunted them down -- two quads
against twenty.

They returned to find the Spanish robbing the
corpses. One of their squad leaders had an impressive fireball, so
Billy sought him out. And he turned out to be young, beautiful, and
female.

“Maria, this is my wife, Princess,” Billy
said when she landed. He already thought of her as his wife. He
handed Maria a set of wands. “Show us your new wingspan.”

Awed at meeting the famous Red Baron, Maria
blew out flame nine meters in joyous disbelief.

“She’s a keeper,” Princess agreed.

“You can have those wands if you follow me
until we win the war.”

“I cannot quit the Spanish Air Force now.
They need me.”

Billy laughed. “I guarantee you’ll kill more
Mongols with me. Take us to your division commander and I’ll get
you transferred to Team Red.”

Billy found their camp much bigger.

“Bear, has Jack been recruiting?” Billy
asked.

“It’s amazing how old friends find me when
I’m finally loaded. The money you gave us is attracting super-quads
like flies to shit. We may have a thousand supers soon. You’re a
quad magnet.”

Princess cursed. “Damn! My brother is
back.”

“He’s not gonna duel me, is he?” Billy asked,
surprised, as a skinny American Indian marched angrily towards
them.