Deadly Vows (13 page)

“Your problems are my problems, Livy. I won’t leave you to deal with them on your own.”

“You have to, Ford, because if something happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.”

“And you think I could forgive myself if something happened to
you?
” He wanted to shout the question, but kept his voice low, his frustration in check. They’d been married for ten years, and it seemed that Olivia didn’t know him at all.

Or maybe she did.

Maybe that was the problem. During their marriage, he’d often put business ahead of his personal life.

Often?

Always.

Part of him had believed that eventually he’d make his fortune and have more time to devote to marriage. The other
part had simply chosen to ignore the hurt he saw in Olivia’s eyes every time he missed a birthday or anniversary.

“I know you care, but it doesn’t make sense for both of us to be in danger. For both of us to…die,” Olivia said, laying a hand on his arm, the heat of it shooting straight into his heart. It had always been that way between them. Instant attraction that hadn’t waned through all the years they’d known each other. It was more than just chemistry, though. They completed each other in a way Ford had never expected.

Yet somehow he’d let her go.

“Who said anything about dying? I plan to grow old with you, Olivia.”

She shrugged, but didn’t argue, just let her hand fall away and turned her attention to the front of the bus. Silent. Brooding. More aloof and distant than Ford had ever seen her.

Was she planning another escape? This time from him?

Or was she simply too tired to continue the conversation?

He didn’t ask. No matter what Olivia planned, Ford would stick with her. If that meant death, so be it. No way could he walk away and leave her to Martino’s thugs.

When Martino’s goon had sliced deep into Ford’s cheek, when the blade had danced across his ribs, it had been love for Olivia that had kept Ford going. Dying hadn’t been an option. Not when Olivia was still in danger. Finding her had been his mission, keeping her safe had been his motivation.

Nothing had changed.

He would keep her safe. Until the trial. After it. Because he’d learned a lot from nearly dying. He’d learned that all the money in the world couldn’t buy more time, and dying with regrets wasn’t the way he wanted to go.

He reached for Olivia’s hand, lifted it to his lips and
pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles, praying that God would give him the time he needed to make amends, to create the kind of life he’d never dared believe he could have. A life filled with the things that were most important—love and faith.

He just needed a chance.

And as the bus sped past deep green fields and blue-gray mountains, as he continued to hold Olivia’s hand, he could almost believe he was going to get it.

O
livia knew she should pull her hand from Ford’s, but she couldn’t make herself do it. After months of being almost completely alone, it felt good to be close to someone. Even if that someone was Ford.

Especially
if that someone was Ford.

She frowned, trying to tug away, but he tightened his grip and leaned close to whisper, “Let’s play nice. Just for a little while.”

“We’re not playing.”

“So we’ll just be a happy couple taking a trip together,” he said, studying Olivia’s face, his gaze resting on her eyes, then her cheeks and finally her lips.

Her mouth went dry, her pulse raced. She wanted to blame it on fear and anxiety, but she knew the truth. It had nothing to do with either of those things, and everything to do with Ford. The only man she’d ever loved. The only one she
still
loved.

He brushed a lock of hair from her cheek, his fingers warm against her skin and lingering as he leaned forward, pressed as a kiss to her lips. The briefest of touches, the simplest of gestures, but it tore a hole in the wall Olivia had
built around her heart, left her open and wounded and not sure how it had happened.

She loved Ford, but she didn’t want to, because no matter what he said, she didn’t believe she’d ever be first in his life, and no matter how much she wanted to believe differently, she knew their child would never be more than an inconvenience.

She pulled back, pressing a shaking hand to her lips. “You shouldn’t have done that, Ford.”

“Why not?”

“Because of all the things we talked about before I walked out of the penthouse. My need for more time. Your inability to give it. The resentment we both seemed to have for one another.”

“I never resented you, Livy.”

“You resented the demands I made on you.”

“Maybe I did, but that was only because I felt guilty for not being able to give you what you needed.” He settled back into his seat, putting some distance between them, and Olivia breathed a sigh of relief, her attention drawn to the window and the landscape beyond. A few houses dotted the fields and grasslands. A farmer drove a tractor through vivid green pasture. Clothes hung from a line and fluttered in the breeze. If she could have chosen any place to live, she might have chosen one like this, where life meandered along at its own place.

“When do you think we’ll get to the first rest stop?” she asked.

“Changing the subject?”

“You said yourself the time for discussing the future is after we’re safe.”

“We’re safe enough here, but I’m not going to press for something you don’t want.”

“Good, because all I want is to be off this bus for a few minutes.”

“That should happen soon. I just saw a sign for Cody, Wyoming. We’ll probably stop there. That’s where we should switch rides.”

“To?”

“Whatever we can find.”

“You think we were followed from the bus station, don’t you?”

“I don’t know, but why take chances? From the looks of things, Cody isn’t too small of a town. We should be able to find another ride.”

“I’d rather not.”

“You think we’ll be safer staying on the bus?”

“I think I
feel
safer staying on it. At least here I don’t have to worry that someone might be lurking around the corner, waiting to kill me.”

“These past few months haven’t been easy for you.”

“The past year hasn’t been easy,” she said without thinking, then wished the words back. The last thing she wanted was for Ford to know just how much she’d missed him.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be. I was the one who walked out.” Because leaving had been so much easier than staying.

Missing Ford, that had been the hard part.

“Because I wasn’t willing to work with you to strengthen what we had.”

“I thought we agreed not to discuss this.”

“We agreed not to discuss the future.”

“So let’s not discuss the past, either. Let’s stick to what’s in between—the here and now.”

“Sure, except the past is part of the here and now.”

“Maybe it is, but it can’t be changed, so why rehash it?”

“Because I need to understand where I failed you, failed us,” he said, his eyes flashing with deep blue fire, his face set in a hard line. “I don’t want to repeat my mistakes.”

“What mistakes? We simply wanted different things. I wanted kids and a little house in the country. And you wanted…” What had he wanted besides money? Olivia still wasn’t sure she knew.

“I wanted the posh penthouse and the predictable life with a wife who was there when I needed to talk.”

“I guess neither of us got what we wanted.”

“But that doesn’t mean we won’t eventually.”

Did he really believe that? Because Olivia wasn’t sure she did. Having what she wanted would mean having a husband who loved her, a child who was loved by both of them. It would mean compromise and communication. It would mean believing that everything Ford said about changing was the truth, and believing that she had it within herself to forgive and move on.

They were hard things.

Things she wasn’t sure would ever be, so she kept quiet and let the conversation die away.

Perhaps Ford was as tired of the rehashing the past as Olivia, he closed his eyes, shifted so that he could lean his head against the seat. His hands were lax, his profile strikingly handsome despite the scar that ran down his cheek. Maybe because of it.

Olivia wanted to touch the rough stubble on his jaw, run her finger over the edges of his scar, let her palm rest
against his cheek. That’s how it was when she was with Ford. Such a strong feeling of need and of desire that she was surprised she had been able to forget the depth of it during their separation.

Somehow she had, though.

And she would again.

But do you want to?

The question filled her mind as miles passed and the sun reached its zenith. The endless open sky and lush landscape gave way to houses and cars as the bus drew closer to Cody, and soon the bus driver announced the approaching rest stop.

Olivia’s heart jumped, her pulse racing with adrenaline.

Soon the bus would stop, and she and Ford would either stay aboard or try to find another ride. Just the thought of leaving the bus’s relative safety made her skin crawl.

“Looks like our stop is coming up,” Ford said, his voice such a surprise Olivia jumped.

He smiled, placing a hand on her arm. “A little jumpy, aren’t you?”

“I’ve got good reason to be.”

“True. But you’ve got just as much reason to be at peace. I remember when we first got married and you’d beg me to go to church. I’d always tell you that church was for people with too much time on their hands. I’ve realized something since then.” He paused, brushing hair from Olivia’s forehead, his fingers sliding from her temple to her cheek and then her neck.

Pull away, Olivia!
Her brain shouted, but her body refused to obey.

“What have you realized?” She asked, and was annoyed by the raspy, breathlessness of her voice. She was over Ford.
So
over him.

Or maybe not.

Because her fickle heart just couldn’t seem to make up its mind to forget that it loved him.

“I’ve realized that church is for people who have plenty to do with their time. It’s for people with jobs and lives, families and friends. It’s for anyone who wants to understand his purpose, anyone seeking peace, anyone who wants to know his Creator. And I’ve realized that God cares. About the people in church. The people out of it. About me.”

“You don’t have to say that, Ford. You don’t have to pretend to believe—”

“I’ve never pretended to be something I wasn’t. Not for clients, not for friends and not for you. I think you know me well enough to know that.”

“I do.” Despite everything they’d been through, despite all the times Ford had disappointed her, Olivia knew that at least that much was true.

“I still have questions, Liv. Lots of them. I still doubt at moments, and I still think I’d like to live my life just the way I want. But I’ve learned that faith is about more than just believing. It’s about trusting in something that can’t be seen. And, right now, we have no choice but to do that. To trust that whatever happens, everything is going to be all right.”

“You’re right. I know you are.”

“Then why are you so worried?”

“Because I want to have all the things I dreamed of when I was young. All the things I’ve been dreaming of for years.”

“Am I part of those dreams, Liv? Or would you rather that I walk back out of your life when this is over? That we go ahead with the plans we were making to divorce?”

Would she?

Olivia wanted to say yes. She wanted to shout it, but she couldn’t, because the truth was, she didn’t know what she wanted. “I don’t know.”

“I guess that’s better than yes. Looks like we’re pulling into the rest area. Are we leaving, or staying?”

“You said you thought we should get a new ride.”

“And you said you’d rather not, so I’m asking, what do you think is best, Olivia?”

If they stayed on the bus, Olivia would feel safe, but would she
be
safe? The Martino family’s hired guns hadn’t hesitated to take on armed federal officers. Would they draw the line at attacking an unarmed bus?

Olivia didn’t know, but the thought of someone forcing the bus off the road, perhaps injuring everyone on it in order to get to her, was enough to force her to her feet. “We’d better change rides. Who knows what Martino’s henchmen will do if they think we’re on this bus?”

“That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking.”

“Then I suppose you have a plan?”

“Sure. We get off the bus. Fortunately, we stopped in town, so we can hightail it to the nearest store and see if we can find another ride out of town.”

“At some point we’re going to have to contact Special Agent McGraw. He needs to know that I’m all right and that I’m still planning to testify.”

“We’ll do that before we leave town.
After
we’ve got a ride.”

“We can’t buy another car.”

“We can do whatever we have to do to survive,” Ford responded. “Come on. Let’s join the crowd and get out of here.”

He pressed his hand against Olivia’s lower back, the
touch familiar and comforting as they stepped out into the aisle. All around them, people chatted and laughed, the sounds of life filling Olivia’s ears, but doing nothing to ease the knot of tension in her stomach. All the stress couldn’t be good for the baby, so she took a deep breath, trying to relax.

Outside, clouds had blown in, covering the sun and cooling the day. Olivia shivered, moving closer to Ford as he stepped off the bus behind her. She might not be sure whether or not their marriage would last, but being with him was a lot better than being by herself. Alone, she’d be frozen with indecision, not sure if she should turn left or right. Go with the crowd or leave it.

Ford seemed to have no such uncertainty.

“Let’s see where the crowd is heading, and try to blend in with it for a while,” he said, sliding an arm around her waist, and pulling her into his side, the gesture as warm and familiar as a friend’s smile. She wanted to burrow in, forget the distance that lay between them, but there was too much there, and she stayed stiff beneath his touch.

They moved away from the bus with a group of other people, meandering onto a main thorough fare lined with shops and diners. People milled around, laughing and chatting as they enjoyed their Saturday afternoon. The simple joy in their faces, the slow, lazy pace of the day should have eased some of Olivia’s fear, but it didn’t.

“It’s a decent sized town, at least,” Ford said, steering her past a man and a woman pushing a baby in a stroller. Did they realize how fragile they’re happiness was? Did they understand how a moment could change everything?

Olivia frowned, pushing aside the questions. She’d been through something terrifying. She’d survived it. She would
continue to survive. There was no other choice. “What now, Ford? We can’t just keep walking until we come up with a plan.”

“I was just thinking the same,” he said, walking toward a small mom-and-pop store. “Let’s get something to eat.”

“Eat? How can you think of food when we’ve got federal law enforcement officers and Mafia hit men after us?”

“If I don’t eat, I can’t think. If I can’t think, I won’t be able to come up with a plan. Besides, I need more cash. It’s the only way we’re going to get out of Cody.”

“You’re planning on renting a car? Buying one? What?”

“Like I said, let’s get something to eat. Then we’ll figure out a plan.”

“Ford, I’d rather—”

“Livy,” he said, stopping and looking down into her eyes. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes during our marriage, and I know you’ve got no reason to count on me not to make more. What you
can
do is trust me. I would never do anything that would put you in danger, and I would die before I let you be hurt again.”

They were big words. Dramatic words. Words that she wouldn’t have expected to hear coming from Ford. She wanted to laugh them off and make light of them, but the intensity in his eyes stilled her laughter, and she could only stay silent as Ford nudged open the door to the mom-and-pop store and ushered her inside.