Deadly Valentine (34 page)

Tess nodded that she remembered he'd checked on her.

"After that, I went to the kitchen. Ms. Agnes and Sarah were there."

Both ladies nodded in agreement.

"After that Mr. Valentine was in the foyer talking with Mr. Philip, saying someone had killed Mr. Asa."

"Do you know where Shelby was?" Tess asked.

"I heard she was upstairs."

"Did you see her?"

"No ma'am."

"What about Mr. Showalter?"

"I guess he went outside. He came through the front door while we was in the foyer."

"And the Senator."

Walter's eyes darkened as he jumped from his seat. "You don't think he had anything to do with the murder?"

Tess jerked back, surprised by his vehemence, until she remembered he'd witnessed the scene between her, Helen and the Senator just a few days earlier. "No. I'm just wondering where he was. Maybe he saw something."

"If he did he would have told the police." He gave a terse nod to Agnes and Sarah. "We need to be getting back."

Both ladies stood, wary of Walter's outburst.

"I'm sorry Mr. Jamison." Tess offered. "I was in no way implying the Senator had something to do with Mr. Worthington's murder."

"The Senator is a good man," he said.

"Yes." Tess agreed. "Thank you for talking with me."

Tess extended her hand, which Walter reluctantly took. "We need to be goin'" he said as he moved past Tess towards the door.

"Thank you Ms. Madison," Agnes said.

"You're welcome. Call me if you need me."

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Tess busied herself with notes from the meeting with Sarah and Agnes. She wanted desperately to call Jack and share the news, but even if she hadn't cruelly shoved him out of her life, she was legally bound to keep Sarah's information to herself.

"Tess?" Regina peeked her head in the door.

"Yes."

Regina entered the office, but remained standing in front of Tess' desk.

"I wanted to know if I could take tomorrow afternoon off. If I stay an extra hour tonight I'll be able to finish up everything that needs to get done."

"You have something planned?"

"Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Lamar has a surprise for me and I want to have a surprise for him."

Tess supposed the word Valentine would always be painful. Worse still was that it was associated with love and romance.

"Yes, that's fine. But before you go tonight, can you pull together Mr. Valentine's files? I've entered his billing on the computer. Can you prepare a refund for the part that hasn't been used?"

Regina nodded, but didn't say anything. Neither did she move to get back to work.

"Is there something else?" Tess asked.

 “Do you love your job?”

Tess tilted her head as her brows grew together. “It's alright.”

“But do you love it? Like when you were little, did you dream about being a lawyer?”

Tess couldn't remember dreaming about anything except getting out of her parents' home. “I didn't decide to be a lawyer until I was in college.”

“Why?”

“Why did I decide on law?”

Regina nodded.

“I don't know. I suppose because my dad is a lawyer. And Tom," she added preferring to believe she chose the legal profession because of Tom and not as an attempt to win her father's approval. "Why do you ask?”

“I'm just wondering if it's worth it.”

“Are you thinking of going to law school?” Tess was pleased that Regina believed she could achieve big goals despite the many challenges she'd faced in her past.

“No. I mean is it worth it to you?" Regina plopped down in the chair in front of the desk. "Your work has made your friends mad and then you had to break up with Mr. Valentine and I wonder if it's worth it.”

Tess hoped it was worth it. Otherwise why was she working so hard to salvage it? “You think I should quit my career to be with Mr. Valentine?”

Regina shrugged. “You seemed happier when he was around.”

“We can't always have everything we think we want.”

“All I know is that we've got one go around in this life. Sure there may be a heaven and all that, but in this body, this time, it's just what we've got now and I don't think we should waste it on things that make us miserable.”

“You think I'm miserable?”

“I know you are.”

“What about my commitment to you, to the few clients we have left?” Tess asked more intrigued than bothered by Regina's inquiries.

“I told you that I have other options. And well, it's not like you're the only lawyer in town.”

True. Lawyers were a dime a dozen in Jefferson Tavern. That's why the loss of clientele was so disastrous.

“What about all the work I've done to build what I have? You think I should do something to jeopardize that?”

“If it hurts you then, yes. I'd give up any job that separated me from those that I love.”

"Except you have children. It’s a little different," Tess said.

"I have Lamar too," Regina said.

"You'd quit this job for him? You've only known him a few months." Tess began to worry that Regina was once again getting involved too quickly with a man. Tess had met Lamar only once and he seemed nice, but Tess knew first hand that it was difficult to really know a man.

"If you turned on me and I had to choose, I might choose him."

Her job had done that Tess acknowledged. It created a wedge between her and the Showalters, and led her to end things with Jack. “Do you like your job?”

Regina smiled. “I love that I have a cool boss, two kids that are awesome and boyfriend who respects me.”

“Then that's worth my fighting for.”

Regina frowned.

“There are many things about my job and this situation that I'm unhappy with, I'll admit that. But sacrificing my work to be with Jack, I can't do that. Eventually he may be gone anyway, and then where would I be?”

“At least you'd have some fun in the meantime,” Regina said nearly sulking.

Tess smiled. “I guess there's that.”

Regina sighed, resigned that she wasn't going to convince Tess to be with Jack.

Tess sat alone in her office. Although she'd successfully deflected Regina's attempts to change her mind about Jack, the truth was the conversation had her reflecting over her choice. Legal work was tedious and boring, especially business law. Divorce clients were irritating and the process was heartbreaking. The only work she could remember enjoying recently was the research for Jack and the sparing with the police during interviews. She'd been doing all she could do to keep the business open, but if she were honest with herself, she had to acknowledge that her heart wasn't in it. In fact, if she didn't have Regina to consider, Tess thought she might chuck it all. Take the trust money she swore she'd never touch and go live in Aruba.

The comment that stuck most in Tess' mind was that Regina would choose love over her job particularly if the job turned against her. It made sense to see it that way. So why had it made more sense to try and salvage her clients and her relationship with the Showalters who had turned on her when Jack had never asked her to change? He didn't like Daniel and yet not once did he ask her to stop being Daniel's friend. The revelation made Tess feel worse than she already did. What kind of horrible woman had she become? She turned on the one person who never abandoned her.

She thought she'd cried all her tears over the weekend, but she felt them threaten again. She couldn't decide which was more difficult to bear, her own pain or the thought of the pain she inflicted on him. "I think you broke him." Brad's words repeated in her mind. "I think I may have broken myself," she whispered.

She realized she didn't like the woman she'd become. A week earlier she was happy in her neatly ordered life. Everyone kept at a safe distance. Her work was boring, but safe. But now she knew she hadn't been happy. She'd been complacent. She talked herself into thinking that she'd created the life she wanted, but then Jack showed up and everything changed. It was like she'd been living in a fog and hadn't realized it. With him the fog had cleared and she felt and experienced more. It was frightening and thrilling, and most of all it was what she needed. The prospect of a safe life now terrified her. To end up as Jack predicted, old and alone was unimaginable and yet exactly the course her life was taking.

She hadn't always been like that, she thought. At one time she'd been adventurous, impulsive and willing to take a risk. And with Jack she'd seen glimpses of her former self. As if a light from heaven were shining down on her, Tess felt with such clarity that she'd been wrong. Jack didn't upset her orderly life, but saved her from it.

She found a tissue in her drawer and wiped the tears that had escaped. Then grabbing her purse, she left her office.

"Are the files ready?" she asked Regina.

"I'm just cutting the check," she said. "I put his stuff in the file box there."

Tess added her materials to the plastic crate. She took the check from Regina, signed it and added it to the crate, closing the lid.

"I'm heading out for the rest of the day. Send emergencies to my cell, otherwise take messages."

Regina's eyes narrowed as they studied Tess. A slow grin spread. "Tell Mr. Valentine I said 'hi'"

~~~~

Tess knew that Jack was a reasonable man. But she also realized just how badly she'd treated him. She deserved to have him throw her out of his office. So she needed to prepare, to come up with a plan to win him over. It was sexist, she knew, but if she stood a chance, she needed approach him with all the tools at her disposal.

She headed home to change so she didn't look like a lawyer. She dragged out an old pair of jeans she hadn't worn in years. It seemed like it took forever to get them on. She had to lie on the bed and suck in her stomach to get them buttoned. She found the red stilettos and squeezed her feet into them. It was a look she'd seen in the bars of D.C. years ago. She hoped it wasn't out of style now. She found a knit sweater that she usually didn't wear because she felt self conscious about the tight fit in the chest.
Pathetic
, she thought. God she hoped it worked.

She then went to her freezer and pulled out a storage container full of her chocolate caramel decadence squares. If the tight outfit didn't work, maybe chocolate would. She put several into a smaller container. Then remembering Mrs. Standish, she found a second container and added more. Armed, but not very dangerous, Tess headed to her car to make the trip to Washington, D.C.

"You can't see him," Mrs. Standish said in a way that sounded more like a mother protecting her young than a secretary.

"Do you like chocolate, Mrs. Standish?" Tess asked.

"Who doesn't?"

Tess handed her a container of her chocolate squares.

"You think bribing me with chocolate will change my mind?"

"Try it." Tess tried to hide the fear and uncertainty, but wasn't sure she was pulling it off.

With narrow, suspicious eyes, Mrs. Standish opened the box. Lifting a dark square, she took a bite. As was always the case with this particular confection, there was no way to hide the surprise and delight. Mrs. Standish looked up at Tess.

"Did you make these?"

"Yes. I can give you the recipe. It's very easy."

Mrs. Standish stood, picked up the box. "I'm going to put these in the refrigerator in the staff room. So I'll be away from my desk."

Tess' heart leapt at her first victory.

"I never saw you."

"No. Of course not." Tess said. She waited until Mrs. Standish walked away and then went to Jack's door.

She took a deep breath as her hand gripped the door handle. She felt like her entire life rode on this moment. Would he be happy to see her? Would he forgive her? Would he throw her out?  She knocked and opened the door when she heard him say, "Come in."

Chapter Thirty-Eight

He sat at his desk. His eyes registered surprise first and then cool indifference. She nearly turned and ran, but somehow propelled herself through the door. During the two hour drive she'd rehearsed what she wanted to say, but as she stood under his piercing dark stare, all the words were lost.

"Did you bring the files?" he asked, his voice as cold as his eyes.

She nodded. "They're in the car."

He watched her, his face growing increasing annoyed as she simply stood and stared. She was like the proverbial deer with her eyes caught in the headlights. She didn't know where to go or what to do to avoid the collision.

"I'm very busy, Ms. Madison."

She felt his words, the coldness of them like a stab in the heart. "I wanted to talk to you for a minute."

"I don't have time right now."

"I'm sorry," she blurted out. "You were right about everything. I was a coward. Everyone I thought was important were idiots."

He sat back in his chair. "So you weren't able to salvage your reputation or your business and now you're back?"

"No. That's not it. I know I hurt you. Hurt you deeply and I'm so, so sorry, Jack."

"What do you want Tess?"

She ignored the terseness of his voice and instead focused on the fact that he called her by her first name. "I want you."

Something crossed his face and for a moment she thought he was going to forgive her. But then it went cold again. "You think a simple sorry because you can't save your business will fix things?"

She felt her hackles rise. "I'm not sorry I can't save my business, which in fact I could if I wanted to, but I don't want to. Not if it means losing you."

"I'm lost to you already, Tess, so you might as well go back to Jefferson Tavern and chase ambulances or whatever you need to do."

She was surprised by his comment. He wasn't just angry. He wanted to hurt her. And she took it because she knew she deserved it.

"I love you." Why hadn't she led with that? It was the one thing he wanted to hear from her at one time.

Again she thought she saw change in his eyes that she wanted to grab on to, but he wouldn't let himself be swayed by her. He quickly put his mask back in place.