Deadly Ties (27 page)

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Journal Entry
I hate it when I’m right! Hate it. HATE IT! Gavin and Tay--MOM just told me that SHE’s

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out of prison.

I knew she was. I just knew it. But I guess they must have believed me, because they called
to find out for me. Then there was the shooting.

I never liked Charles. He was a jerk and he made Taylor cry. But I don’t like it that he got
shot because of me. And it was because of me. I know, I know. It’s not me that shot them, and I
didn’t make Nina do it. But she wouldn’t have gone there if she hadn’t been looking for me. But I
know it’s not really my fault. I do. I just feel really, really bad. Like I should have been able to
stop it or something, but I didn’t. And that poor little baby. I hope it lives.

Mom called the hospital where Charles is to talk to him, but she wasn’t on the phone long
and was crying when she got off. Gavin was mad ‘cause he thought Charles had said something
to make her cry, but she said that wasn’t it at all. Charles did hold her partly to blame, or she
said that he wanted to. But he also told her to be careful, to make sure I was safe. And because
he was nice and he started to cry, Mom started to cry too.

Gavin settled down after that.

After they told me all that, they called Lieutenant Morris again, since he knows what’s
going on and all. They didn’t tell him anything about me ‘knowing’ things. They lied. Though
Mom said it wasn’t exactly lying.

Whatever. They told him I had a bad dream and was upset that she was out. That was it.

They also told him about Charles calling and what had happened. Then I had to talk to him
about what happened in Austin. Morris wrote lots of stuff down. He let me look in his little
notebook, but he writes kinda like Gavin and I couldn’t really read it. But it’s still cool that he
writes everything down in it.

I asked him what happens if he ever lost it.

He just grinned and said not to say that. I might jinx--isn’t that a weird word--him. He
hadn’t lost it yet, and didn’t have a clue what would happen then. Morris asked all sorts of
questions. Questions I really didn’t like. I had to remember all that stuff I don’t want to
remember. Finally, he was done and said he’d make some calls and find out something and get
back to us, or have someone from Texas get back to us.

I don’t know what difference all that made. Morris said that cop might have had a family
that wanted answers and now they’ll have some. That I was helping. I don’t know about all that.

I just wish it would all go away.

I wish things were like they used to, before I started to remember all this stuff. Before Nina
broke out.

We were planning the wedding. I want to think about the wedding. I think that is cool.

Gavin and I are wearing tuxedoes that are just alike. I get to walk Taylor down the aisle,
and get to stand beside Gavin all through the ceremony. I hope I don’t have to stand up there too
long, but if I do, I guess I’ll have to.

Yeah, I’ll think about the wedding and my music and not worry about the other. I won’t
worry about HER. I won’t.

I have a REAL family now. Or almost. I almost wish the wedding were already over and
that I was really a Kinncaid. I can’t wait to be Ryan Kinncaid.

Gavin told me the family mottto. It’s: This I’ll Defend.

Isn’t that cool? I think it’s really neat.

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I practice writing my new name today. I’m going to show Tori when I see her next time.

It’s kinda weird, us having the same last name.

Ryan Kinncaid.

David Ryan Kinncaid. I hate my first name. I like Ryan. Guess ‘cause I’ve always been
Ryan. Only my Granny ever called me David Ryan. I don’t remember her much, I just know I
lived with her for a while. But, then she died and I had to live with Nina. Granny smelled like
soap and cookies. That’s all I really remember about her.

Ryan Kinncaid.

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“What else do you have on your mind?” Gavin asked her. His fingers tapped on his laptop.

How to tell him? She wasn’t sure how he would react. Part of it, she knew he’d probably get mad at her, but that was part of it. The other idea, he might be shocked.

Well, it would
probably
shock him. She never really knew with Gavin. It was more daring than anything she’d ever thought up or dreamed of. But since Rhonda had gotten shot, Taylor realized just what lengths Nina would go to in order to get her flesh and blood. The boundaries she would cross to make Taylor pay. The thought of anyone getting caught in the crossfire again, this time someone who meant the world to her, gave her courage.

“Gavin?”

He was busy typing notes into files. Oval, silver rimmed reading glasses sat his nose. She vaguely wondered if she had ever seen him wear the spectacles before and couldn’t remember.

No, this was the first time. His dark hair glinted in the lamplight. Tonight, in his rumpled clothes sitting in the corner of her couch, he looked very homey with his shirt unbuttoned and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“Yeah? I’m waiting.” The blue tinge of the notebook’s screen reflected off the glasses covering his eyes.

Taylor took a deep breath. “What would you say if I called the wedding off?”

For the barest of moments his fingers paused over the keys and then quickly clicked again.

“Might I ask why you would wish to do so?”

This wasn’t the reaction she had envisioned. It threw her off. “Because.”

“That’s not an answer.” He looked at her over the edge of the silver rims. Something shifted in the depths of his eyes.

“Well, that is.…” Taylor sighed. “I just think it would be better if we waited to get married.” What if he was here when Nina found them? What if he or a member of his family was killed because of the vendetta this woman had with her? She’d never forgive herself.

“Why?”

Taylor propped her elbow on the back of the couch, resting her temple against her fisted hand. How in could she get him to understand? He kept typing. “I simply think it would be better for the both of us, for everyone if we waited.”

“Until?” His thumb hit the space bar twice.

Could the man not stop and look at her?

“Until Nina is caught! Until this is over!” Taylor made to get off the couch.

He moved so quickly, she never saw it coming. His hand manacled her wrist. “Sit down.”

Looking down into his eyes, she saw she was off--way off. The blue of his eyes was turbulent, stormy. The skin across his face was tight.

Taylor sat.

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“Do you mind explaining all this to me?”

Her chapped lips were rough under the tip of her tongue. “I just….”

“Do
not
insult me by pushing me away.” He leaned closer to her, his other hand snaking up around her neck. “If you think I’m just walking away from all this, from you and Ryan, especially now, think again, woman.”

“I’ve upset you,” she whispered.

“No, you pissed the hell out of me.” His normal smiling mouth, was thinned, the corners tense.“I’m sorry.” She reached up and cupped his cheek. “I just--She’ll do anything Gavin.

Anything. I don’t want to see you get hurt because of me.”

His eyes narrowed. “Do you honestly think I’d walk away to let you and Ryan fend for yourselves?” The deep baritone of voice heralded thunder, daring her to agree.

It was ridiculous. Shaking her head, she said, “No, I just thought I’d try to see what happened. And if you wouldn’t leave then….”

One black brow arched sardonically. “Then?”

Deep breath. “Then.” Taylor lowered her hand, following it with her eyes as it slid it along his corded neck, down to the open collar of his shirt. “Then, I was going to ask you to marry me.”

Her eyes looked back to his. “This weekend, in Gatlinburg or Vegas or somewhere.” Quickly she rushed on. “I know it’s sudden. I know it doesn’t make sense.”

His expression gave nothing away, his brow still lifted above his eye.

“I don’t want you hurt. I said that already.…” God she was making a muck of this. “She, Nina, shot without thought, without thinking. She was aiming for me. That’s what Charles told me. Nina thought Rhonda was me.”

The skin on his face was still taut, pulled over his rugged features. The carefree charmer was gone, and in his place the highland warrior half his family lineage told of. “And what? You expected me to turn away from that? You think I haven’t realized this?” Both his hands gripped her shoulders. “God Taylor. I don’t.… What would.… Damn it.” Gavin stood, raking a hand through his hair. The echoes of his footfalls bounced in the quiet room. He whirled to face her, his hands on his hips.

“She is not going to ruin our lives. I’ll be damned if she will. We’re taking precautions, we’ve talked to the cops.” His finger pointed outside. “There is a patrolman driving by outside every half hour. I’ll talk to Aiden about a bodyguard. He got one for Jesslyn last year. Yeah. I realize you’re scared, but.…”

“Would you just be quiet!” Taylor didn’t know who was more shocked, him or her.

He stopped and tilted his head to her. Like a damn lord or something allowing her to speak.

Oh! This was all wrong! They were fighting, not that she hadn’t thought they might, but….

“I want Ryan to have the Kinncaid name,” she blurted out.

“Taylor,” Gavin’s voice was calm now, as though explaining something for a child. “He will.” Gavin walked over and sat beside her again. His hands clasped between his knees.

“No.” She turned to him. “Just hear me out please. I’m bad at explanations and I’ve already screwed this one up.” On a sigh, she tried again. “The thing is, with Rhonda I realized how serious this all is. Nina wants my blood, I know that. She swore it to me time and again.”

Looking into his eyes, she took a deep breath and said, “If something were to happen to me

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I want to know that Ryan will be safe. That he won’t be bounced back into the system.” The thunder was building again. She could all but see the lightning in his sharp eyes. “I want our son to have a family to go to. It might not just be me she attacks or kills.”

Taylor laid her hand over his joined ones. “That terrifies me, and makes me want to do something, anything to make you leave. I don’t want to see you hurt. But I know you, and I’m selfish enough to want you with me. To help me through this. At least if we were married and you adopted Ryan, he would have you. And if something happened to the both of us--then I know your family wouldn’t think twice about taking him in.” Would they?

The storm still raged in him, she could see it in his eyes, in the hardened lines of his body, as though he were ready to spring. But his voice was calm. “No, they wouldn’t think twice about it.” His sigh blew against their hands. “I see your point.” The clock ticked the seconds off.

After several moments she finally asked, “Well?”

When he looked back at her, her heart rolled. That crooked smile would always and forever cause the butterflies to riot in her stomach. Or she hoped it would.

“First, nothing, and I repeat nothing is going to happen to you or Ryan. But other than that, there is one problem with your plan,” he said, pulling her towards him as he settled back into the corner of the couch. “Actually, several.”

Taylor rolled her eyes. “Forget the problems.”

“I can’t. There is no way I can take off this weekend to go to Vegas or even Gatlinburg, as much as I want to. I’ve already swapped weekends and days with doctors for our honeymoon in a few weeks. So the next three weekends, I’m on call.”

Well hell. “Oh.” Taylor propped her chin on her stacked hands resting on his chest.

“But, I guess we could do the Justice of the Peace thing.” The rueful tilt of his lips, and scrunched nose told her what he thought of that one.

“We don’t have….”

“Now we do.” His arms wrapped around her. “Never thought I was the type for elopement.”

“We’re not eloping.”

“Aren’t we? Mom will be so disappointed.”

Now she started to see his problems. “Just forget it.”

“No.” His arms tightened. “The more I think of it, the more I like it. I just wanted to give you a special day, one with flowers, and your dress, and music and an aisle.”

It was his wedding day as well. Taylor looked down at his chin.

“I’ve got an idea,” he said. Gavin’s arms squeezed her tighter. “I’ll go by the courthouse tomorrow and see what we need to do to get married by this weekend. Though, I don’t think it’ll be a problem. We already planned on a ceremony at Mom and Dad’s, so we’ve got the Maryland marriage license. We can probably get married tomorrow. We’ll just have to drive up to Rockville so the judge can do the deed. I guess we should tell Ryan and the rest of the family.

And if everyone seems upset, or if you still want to, we can still go ahead and have a big flashy ceremony in four weeks.” His breath blew against her hair. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know. It seems like a lot of trouble. Maybe we can just have a big reception later. I don’t think we have to do the ceremony over do we? Or I guess we can. Whatever.”

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One side of his mouth lifted in a half-grin. “We’ll see.”

“So we’re getting married?” she asked him.

“Looks like.”

Mrs. Gavin Kinncaid, she liked the idea.

Gavin hooked his finger beneath her chin and lifted it to his mouth as he leaned up to meet her. “You don’t mind do you?” she asked him against his lips.

She felt his smile, saw the corners of his eyes crease with amusement. “Mind? That you’ll be mine totally, completely and forever by the end of the week? Maybe even by tomorrow night?

I hardly think so.”