Deadly Descent (9 page)

It wasn’t quite a caress, but she moved restlessly on the seat, pink creeping into her cheeks.
“Cam…” she began.

“Yeah?”

Her uncertain gaze cut over to him before she dropped her eyes to her lap.
“I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me.”

This wasn’t going to be good, he could tell that much.
“Sure.”

She fiddled with her coat some more before finding her voice.
“About what happened in the hotel…”

He remained silent, watching her.
Another awkward pause followed, but he wasn’t going to fill it and make this easy for her.
She was the one that had to wrestle with her feelings, and he’d be damned if he’d make it okay for her to hide from them.

Devon glanced up into his face, and when their gazes locked she stared at him helplessly a moment before looking away.
“I uh…I don’t know what Ty said to you about me or what you’ve heard, but…” She shook her head, making blue highlights stand out in the wash of the lights along the security fence.

“But what?” he asked quietly.

She huffed out a breath.
“I don’t sleep around.”

After the initial shock passed, her clipped statement pissed him off.
“I know that, and I never thought you did.” He removed his arm from the back of the bench and sat up straight as he faced her.
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I just got here, so how could I be avoiding you?”

“Don’t play dumb.
You’re way too smart to pull it off convincingly.”

She folded her arms across her chest.
“I just don’t want to build that kind of a reputation.
There are very few female pilots here, and the last thing I need is for people to talk about me like that behind my back.”

What the hell?
“So military protocol aside, getting involved with me would still be bad for your reputation.”

“Don’t twist my words,” she said defensively.
“Even though we kept it quiet so my command wouldn’t find out, everyone knows I dated Ty off base.
If I was with you, they’d talk.”

“What makes you think they’d talk, assuming they ever found out?” He’d never embarrass her that way.

“Trust me, they’ll talk.
My roommates already think I’m way too friendly with a lot of the guys here, and someone from my unit has already been put up on fraternization charges.”

He stared at her.
“I would never put you in that position.”

“I know you’d try to protect me, Cam, but people will notice no matter how much we tried to hide it or you tried to protect me.”

He couldn’t believe what she was telling him.
“You’ll fly a Black Hawk at night nap-of-the-earth, but you won’t be with me because you’re afraid of what other people will
think
?”

The blush in her cheeks darkened.
“I don’t expect you to understand.”

Good, because he didn’t.
What kind of fucked-up reasoning was that?
But then another thought occurred to him.
“Let’s back up a minute then.
When you say ‘sleep around’, do you mean one-night stands?”

Her eyes darted up to his, wide and full of alarm.
“No!
I’ve never done that—is that what you heard?”

“I haven’t heard anything but how much people like and respect you.”

She seemed to relax a bit, but then shook her head like she was disappointed.
Or hurt.
“So then, you mean you want
us
to be a one-night stand?”

He cursed mentally.
“Jesus, Dev, no.” Not even close.

Her brow furrowed as she looked at him.
“Then…what do you want?”

He arched an eyebrow.
“Sure you want me to tell you?” Something was bound to get lost in the translation, and he didn’t want to spook her.
He’d much rather show her what he wanted from her instead.

“I hate talking about this.”

“I noticed.” He couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

She glanced away.
“Look, I haven’t dated very many men, despite what you might think.”

Why the hell was she hung up on this?
He’d never guessed she might have low self esteem, or that she much cared what others thought of her.

Rather than argue, he changed tactics and reached out a hand to tuck her hair behind her ear.
As he’d expected, she froze, her eyes locked on him.
He let one finger trail gently across her flushed cheek.
When he was sure he had her full attention, he leaned in until their faces were inches apart.
Still caressing her skin, he deliberately dropped his eyes to her luscious mouth, lingering there for a moment until he caught her quick intake of breath.

Lifting his gaze, he stared deep into her stormy eyes.
“For the record?
It doesn’t matter to me how many men you’ve dated.”

It was true.
He didn’t care.
Without a doubt she’d be faithful to whoever she was with.
It was one of the things he admired most about her.
“What matters is how I feel about you.” His gaze dropped to her mouth imagining the feel of those petal soft lips beneath his.
With effort he dragged his eyes back to her face.

“How do you feel about me?” she whispered, her eyes locked with his.
The hope he read there turned him into mush.

“Pretty damn serious.”

Heat whipped through his body at the banked need he saw mirrored in her eyes.
She definitely wanted him to kiss her, and he wanted nothing more than to oblige her.
He wanted to tip her head back and settle his lips over hers, kiss her until she moaned and opened for the slow caress of his tongue.
But he didn’t.
Instead he clamped down on the rising sexual need inside him and opened his clenched hand to cradle her face in his palm.
The innocent touch sizzled straight up his arm.
“I would never do anything to hurt you.
You know that, right?”

Staring back at him, she managed a nod.
Her gaze flicked to his lips, then back up.
Her pink tongue darted out and swept over her bottom lip, as if she was thinking about how he would taste.

Before he could over think it, he leaned in and kissed the soft skin next to her mouth.
Soft and slow, less than an inch from her tempting lips.
The muscles in her shoulder tensed beneath his hand.
He itched to tighten his hold there, slide his other hand into her hair to hold her still.
Take away the control she loved so much.
He paused there, a breath from her mouth.
And waited.

Devon pulled in a sharp breath and closed her eyes.
The tension thrummed through him like an electrical current, sparking over every nerve ending.
She didn’t turn her head, but she leaned into his kiss, adding subtle pressure.
Silently asking for more, but afraid to take it.

He kissed her there again and angled his head to brush his lips over hers.
Once, twice.
Asking.
Coaxing.
Her hand came up to plant against his chest and a tiny whimper escaped, but she didn’t shove him away.
Her fingers curled into his jacket.
So hungry.
So torn.

Dammit.

Done with torturing himself for the night, he dropped his hand and stood.
Devon gazed up at him in surprise, and he thought he caught a flicker of disappointment in her expression.
“Come on.
I’ll walk you to your barracks.”

She got up, watching him with an odd mixture of hunger and regret.
Then she surprised the hell out of him by snagging his hand.
He stopped and turned to face her, vividly aware of how small her hand was compared to his.
Her slim fingers were cold, but whether from nerves or the nip of the fall air, he couldn’t say.

She stared at him for the longest time before speaking.
“Cam, you must know how I feel about you.”

Yeah, he was pretty sure he did.
And that made it damn hard to keep his hands to himself.

“I really care about you, but it’s not…” She seemed to struggle to find the words.
“It’s not the right time or place.
And it’s not just physical for me.”

His heart squeezed.
“Not for me, either.”

A startled, almost shy smile spread across her face.
“Oh.”

Yeah,
oh
.
Damn, how had she missed that part?
Had he said or done anything to make her think otherwise?

Before he could change his mind and resort to physical coercion to make her take the next step, he began walking, keeping her slender fingers entwined with his.
By the time they reached her B-hut, he felt like a teenager suffering from the most painful crush in the world.
It felt like his chest was in a damn vise.

At the door he let go of her hand and stepped back.
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he smiled down at her upturned face.
“Sweet dreams.”

But she grabbed his arm when he turned to go.
“Hey…”

He stilled, taken by surprise again when she threw her arms around his shoulders and burrowed tight against him.
His body responded instantly, but he didn’t try to hide the growing erection pressing into her stomach, allowing himself to hold her full length against him.
She felt damn
good
.

Tightening his arms, he dropped his head and pressed his face against the side of her neck to inhale her delicate scent.
The instant he did, a sharp gasp tore out of her, her slender body rippling with a shiver as the sexual energy arced between them.
Cam couldn’t help but groan and gather her closer, nuzzling the velvety skin beneath her ear.

She lifted her face, and took him off guard by kissing him full on the lips.
Hard and fast, the gesture so full of hunger it made him ache.
Before he had the chance to respond, she drew back.
Her fingers clenched in his jacket, and her face buried against his chest.
“Cam…” The stark desire in her voice twisted his guts.
He could feel her fighting with herself, and didn’t want to push her for anything she wasn’t willing to give without hesitation.

Baby…

He smoothed one hand over the back of her head in reassurance, praying for strength.
He’d never wanted a woman like this.
Not to the point where his chest ached and it hurt to breathe.
If he read her right, she was hurting too.
The rapid tremor of her body betrayed her unrelieved hunger.

He’d have given damn near anything for the chance to ease their pain in the closest bunk he could find.
All night long, until she finally understood how he felt about her.

Brushing the lightest of kisses against her jaw, he released her.
Slowly, her hands lowered from their death grip on the back of his jacket.
Her eyes were dazed as she looked up at him.
“You mean a lot to me, Cam.
I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me.” Whatever happened—or didn’t happen between them—he’d always be there for her.
He’d made that promise to himself and to Ty before their deployment.

“I just need some time,” she whispered, her voice hoarse with suppressed longing.

“Okay,” he whispered back, unable to keep from rubbing his thumb over her full lower lip.
It trembled slightly beneath his touch.
“But promise you’ll come to me when you’re ready.”

He was to the second row of B-huts when she called out his name.
He looked back at her over his shoulder.

She stood in the pool of lamplight outside her barracks with her arms wrapped around her waist, her eyes haunted.
“Be careful out there.
I’d hate to answer a call and find out I’m transporting you to a hospital.”

If she understood how precious the time was between them, why wasn’t that enough to make her take the next step with him?
“I will.
And you too.” He
hated
the thought that she was now in harm’s way, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Dev nodded at him and forced a smile, then disappeared into the hut.
Rubbing a hand over his face, Cam blew out a breath.
He walked away, his footsteps hollow thuds that echoed in the darkness.

He was attached to her in so many ways, and every time he saw her the ties around his heart tightened a little further.
At least he had another mission tonight to keep his mind off her for a few hours.