Deadly Betrayal (3 page)

I shook my head. We would have had a chance in a fair fight, but not with the ship being destroyed from the inside.

“I think it’s reasonable to assume other ships are being sabotaged as well.” His voice was quiet. These words were not meant for the crew.

“Which means there won’t be any help coming.”

He nodded.

As much as I thought, I still didn’t have any ideas. “Can we sabotage them back? Send something over?”

“No, their shields are still up, but that gives me an idea.” He took one of the symbols from his uniform and attached it to me. “Field promotion. Lieutenant Commander, you have the ship.”

He said the last words in a loud voice, so everyone would hear.

I hissed, “No. Stop doing that.”

No use objecting; he was already heading for the door.

I understood the point: right now anyone could be a traitor and he needed someone who wouldn’t give the ship away with a big red bow on it, but I was
not
a good choice.

Many pairs of eyes stared at me. These people were terrified.

I was afraid too, but that didn’t matter.

“He’ll be back. Resume whatever you were doing.”

It took less than a minute before a woman approached me. “Ma’am… Sir… I have intercepted messages from other ships. The Amazon had an explosion in the engine room. The Kentucky reports problems with the Tokamak field. The Durango intercepted saboteurs before they could cause any major damage. She is on her way, but won’t arrive for another fourteen hours.”

“Thank you. Good job.”

Fourteen hours. It could just as well be a lifetime. We would need a miracle to last
one
hour.

Where had Adam gone off to, and why wasn’t he coming back? It hadn’t been
that
long, but roaming off in a crisis wasn’t his style. And why didn’t we hear anything back from engineering?

Adam’s voice rang on the bridge. “Lieutenant Commander Smith, I need you on deck four, section seven A.”

I shook my head. He clearly got a kick out of calling me a rank.

Not funny.

I headed for the door but paused when I sensed them all stare at me.

Who was next in the chain of command? It didn’t really matter since we weren’t going anywhere and the situation was grim enough to use
me,
but I could at least try. Having someone in charge would make them feel better.

When I made a real effort I did recognize the rank insignia. “You.” I pointed to a woman with red hair. “Your turn. Call me, or even better Adam if something happens.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

They were uncertain of what to call me. Good thing, because I didn’t have a clue. Proper military protocol had not been a part of my upbringing.

Adam stood staring into space through a force field. The Grendl loomed in the distance, probably many miles away, but still much too close.

I took his insignia off my shirt and put it back where it belonged.

He said, “You need those.”

“No I don’t. You do.”

My words brought a small smile to his lips, but he didn’t look happy.

“This is the plan. I’m putting up another force field right here. I will be on that side, and you will be on this side. When I run in that direction, you turn the outer field off.”

“What?”

He held up a small, black box. “Their shields deflect energy and objects moving at a high speed. It won’t deflect me. I can get onto the ship and set off this device.”

“You’re going to jump into space? You want to get onto that ship through
jumping
into space?”

I had heard some bad ideas in my life and come up with quite a few myself, but none as awful as this.

“Yes.”

“That’s crazy.”

“It’s logical. I can survive in space for some time and it’s our only chance. Take this.”

He pushed something into my hands. A switch. Nothing good ever came from Adam handing me switches.

“No, I’m not taking this. I can’t let you do that.”

“Of course you can. You will help me. If we don’t do this everyone will die.”

“But…”

“When you’re done, go back to the bridge. Make sure everyone behaves.”

This time, there would be no discussing with him. No reasoning. He had decided to jump into space.

Idiot
.

But he was
my
idiot.

I wanted to cry, but held it back the best I could.

“If you’re absolutely sure about this, go save us, but come back to me. Okay? I need you. I need you to come back to me.”

He gave me a tender kiss. “I love you.”

Even I understood it was a goodbye. The words didn’t mean “I will” or even “I will try.”

I should say it back, but my voice didn’t work anymore. Hopefully he knew.

I watched my husband take two steps away and press his hand against a switch on the wall. A force field hummed to life, separating us. He did impossible things all the time and survived, but this was
insane.

His eyes lingered on mine a moment longer and he winked before turning away, facing the gaping hole in the hull.

“Madness. It’s madness.”

No one heard.

No one answered.

Adam ran and I squeezed the device he gave me. I would have to flip the switch at just the right moment. No pressure…

I almost waited too long. I flipped it as he took the last step and jumped headfirst towards the force field that separated him from empty space. My hesitation made the timing perfect. The sudden exposure to vacuum and the room’s pressure equalizing with space gave him an extra boost.

“You’d better come back.”

Talking to myself was futile, so I dried my cheeks with the back of my hand and headed for the elevator.

*****

When I returned to the bridge, the redhead rose from the Captain’s chair and nodded to me. “Ma’am.”

I said, “Sit down. Let’s do this together.”

“Together, ma’am?”

I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to go home and weep, but Adam asked me to watch over the ship, and it might be the last thing he ever asked of me.

“Yes. Our captain wanted me here because I have a different way of seeing things. That is still valid, but I don’t know the first thing about how the ship works. I am sure you do. If we cooperate, we can achieve great things.”

My new best friend smiled. “Right now it’s easy. The ship doesn’t work.”

“Repairs?”

“Underway, but will take time. We have sublight back so we can maneuver, but we can’t outrun anyone with that.”

“Weapons?”

“Not yet.”

She sat in silence for a few minutes, and I forced myself to read damage reports instead of thinking.

“Where is Commander Adam?”

“Mission. It’s you and me for now. Did we ever hear anything from engineering?”

“No, ma’am.”

She was probably as scared as I was. An inner voice claimed I should be making a plan instead of just sitting, but I had nothing.

Someone said, “There’s a power fluctuation in the lab.” Half-way through the sentence, the whole bridge lit up as the holograms of the Grendl showed a bright explosion.

The ship was gone. Most likely with Adam and Blake aboard.

I stood up, slowly. “I have to go.”

I didn’t have anywhere I needed to be, but I couldn’t stay on the bridge. If I had really been one of the crew,
I would have come up with some encouraging words. Being me, I was proud to make it to the door without breaking down.

I didn’t know for sure if Adam was on the ship, but odds were. He might still be in space, but I doubted it. The Grendl wouldn’t blow
itself
up. He had been there, and he did it.

It was too much to take in. I should try not to think at all until I reached the relative safety and privacy of home.

The elevator door opened and Blake stepped out. He was dirty and wrinkly with bruises forming on his face and a long cut over one cheek, but he was alive. Seeing him gave me hope for a second, but he was alone.

He said, “Oh Alex, I’m so sorry.”

A moment later I wept in his arms, barely aware of him leading me to my room.

Adam was supposed to outlive me at least a million times to one. In what world was
I
the one left behind?

Blake said, “I know this is little comfort, but he saved the Bell and everyone here. Deeming from who were aboard, I think he saved the Confederacy.”

The words came from the other side of a great abyss.

What was that strange wheezing?

Oh, just my breath. Nothing to worry about.

I said, “You need to go to the bridge.”

“I know. Will you be okay?”

“No, but that doesn’t matter right now. Go deal with things before someone destroys something else.”

“I’ll call for someone to keep you company.”

I made a dismissive gesture. I just wanted him to leave so I could wail and grieve in peace and quiet.

*****

I didn’t have to be alone with my tears for long. Someone banged on the door, making more noise than the doorbell.

“Alex, it’s me. Let me in.”

The voice was so much like Adam’s it gave me hope for a second, until I realized it must be John. A part of me didn’t want to let him in. How could I stand looking into eyes identical to Adam’s and hear a voice just like Adam’s when he was gone?

A calmer inner voice reminded me John suffered a loss too. He probably grieved too. Doing it together might not be the worst thing in the world.

He slammed an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to the sofa. The eyes that met mine were blank and watery.

“I have a plan, hon’. Let’s sit here and get really drunk.”

“You’re already drunk.”

“Not enough.”

I leaned against him and he held me. In the past my tears always made him uncomfortable, but this time he didn’t wince. He just held me.

We sat there for hours, John drinking his way to oblivion and me crying my way there.

I woke on the sofa the next morning, surrounded by John’s arms. It was all very chaste, but I still felt guilty. There shouldn’t be comfort at a time like this. Not even from family.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, almost falling off the edge in the process. John groaned. He didn’t even sit up; he just reached for his bottle and took a swig.

Adam was still dead.

John and I found a new way of life. Sort of.

He went from drunk to passed out to hung over and back to drunk. A part of me suspected he didn’t grieve
that
much, but he probably took Adam’s death as an excuse to finally drink himself into an early grave. He had headed there for years, but in the past someone always gave him a reason not to.

At another point in time I would have cared, but I was too numb.

I wept and slept in his arms. If anyone came to see us, he threw them out in real or pretended fits of rage.

I made sure he ate something and had a glass of water every now and then, and in return he made sure I was never alone. I had a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to, and as days went by, telling stories and memories of Adam became less a matter of hysteria and more loving remembrance. I must admit, a lot of the time I pretended John
was
Adam.

We received many messages. An impressive number said, “Need your help,” “Please contact me,” and “Important.” Neither of us were in shape to help anyone with anything, or had the energy to figure out who sent them. John said, “Yeah, whatever” and deleted them. This wasn’t a good time for coping with other people.

I didn’t expect Anya to condone this lifestyle, but when John asked both her and Ima to leave, I heard her explain, “It’s not personal. Everyone deals with grief in different ways. They need time.”

Our
way might not be healthy or even sane, but at least we had each other. Both of us took care of the other the best we could, and at last on my part the large and drunken man gave me a reason to face another day, and another after that. Left to my own devices I would have given up.

One day John said, “I didn’t even know he was out there. Not until Jones called me and asked me to check in on you.”

During the crisis with the Grendl I hadn’t even thought of calling for John. He wasn’t a part of the crew, but neither was I, and he was normally on top of my list of people to turn to.

He said, “I was in the engine room, the place was on fire. Chaos. I wish he’d told me.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder. “I don’t understand.”

He made an attempt at a coherent explanation. “They must have used two ships. They teleported Jones out when our shields were down, but the Grendl never lowered theirs. They probably took him with a smaller ship and docked. We could have done that too. Adam sabotaged their shields and teleported Blake over here. If I had known he was out there I would have gone out in my ship and tried to save him for you.”

Complicated, but I got the gist.

Heartbreaking too. Especially the part about going into space to face an overwhelming force and certain death to save Adam
for me.

“John, don’t think like that. This is not your fault. If you had been out there you would have died too, and I would have lost both of you. I wouldn’t survive losing you too.”

*****

They held a ceremony for Adam. It was delayed due to the extensive repairs on the ship, but Blake came to tell us himself.

The mere mention of the funeral made Adam’s death seem final and my eyes teared up.

John said, “Are you
trying
to kill her? Does she look in shape for a ship-wide funeral?”

He was right. I would have collapsed on the way there, and the mere thought of meeting a thousand staring faces made me feel faint. I could deal with anything with Adam by my side. Burying him, not so much.

That night I joined John in drinking and my brain glitched into thinking he was my husband. He and Adam were so much alike it could confuse anyone. I kissed him, but he held me back.

“Honey, I’m not saying I never thought about it, but I’m not taking advantage of my son’s drunk and grieving widow.”

His voice was so kind it made everything worse.

“But…”

“No but. Give it time. You’re not in a hurry anywhere.”

He looked so sincere I had to say, “I’m sorry.”

“No need to be. Come here. Sleep. I’ll hold you, but I’m not making love with you. Not yet, maybe never.”

Once I curled up against him I was out like a light. Drinking clearly wasn’t my thing.

I don’t know how long this went on, but it must have been weeks. I’m sure they repaired the ship, hunted the saboteurs, and a number of other things, but I didn’t care.

One morning I woke in the sofa with John’s arms around me, like every morning. No one had used the bed since Adam died. It was a great bed when he was in it, but the prospect of sleeping in it without him made it look like a cold monstrosity that might eat me.

I needed fresh clothes and a shower, and looking at John, my agenda for the day should include getting
him
to shower and at least put on a fresh shirt.

He didn’t stir as I moseyed over to the replicator for coffee.

When Adam was alive, the main computer seemed to find giving me anything but what I asked for a great sport. It ended the minute he died. If I asked for coffee now, I got coffee.

The memory made me want to weep again. He had appeared in the room at two minutes past six every morning for so many years, waking me up with breakfast as soon as his shift was over. It would never happen again.

Never
was a long time.             

Could a human die from heartache?

If so, I probably would have by now if it weren’t for John.

I turned to look at him and saw the room from a new angle. When standing at the replicator I could fully make out what a mess it was.

What a mess
we
were.

All these bottles needed to go in recycling. Where did he get all this booze anyway? Contraband would exist everywhere, but not in these amounts.

I cleaned a little and took a shower. John still snored when I returned.

This has got to stop.

It was the first sane thought to cross my mind since Adam’s death. He wouldn’t have wanted us to wither away like this.

I asked the computer for two cups of coffee and went to wake my father in law.

He groaned and rubbed his face. “What is it, Hon?”

His question made me smile. It didn’t matter how drunk or hung-over he might be, he was always concerned for me. Adam had been the same way. It didn’t matter what happened to him, he always worried for
me
, trying to keep me safe.

I was lucky to be so loved.

“I made you coffee.”

He reached for his bottle.

“You know I don’t want coffee.”

I put a hand on his, preventing the whisky from reaching his lips.

“Wait. Yes, I know you don’t want coffee, but maybe you would have some anyway?”

He looked surprised.

How could I explain this in a manner able to penetrate the mists in his head?

“I need to...”
talk to you
“ask you about something important, and it would be great if you’d sober up enough for me to do that.”

“I’m awake now. You can talk to me now.”

He still put the bottle down.

“I could, but you wouldn’t remember it.”

It didn’t seem all that funny to me, but he chuckled. “Fair enough. Hold that thought.”

He headed for the restroom and almost stumbled over a chair.

*****

John made a valiant effort to sober up.

Late in the afternoon he showered and put on clean clothes, sat on the sofa, and put his feet up on the table.

“Okay, I’m listening. Talk.”

“I can’t believe you did all that for me.”

He laughed. “If I were you I wouldn’t count on it lasting, so take the opportunity right now.”

Good point. I should cut to the chase.

“I think we should leave. Staying on this ship will kill both of us.”

That clearly wasn’t what he expected. Either that, or he was still dizzier than I thought.

I tried to elaborate. “If you and I stay on the Bell, you will drink yourself to death and I will grieve myself to death.”

He nodded. “I thought that’s what we were doing.”

“It
is
what we’re doing, I’m just not so sure it’s a good plan.”

It definitely wasn’t a plan Adam would have approved. He would have wanted us to live. How many times had he plotted to make us live
together
just because it made sense to his logic circuits?

John gave a slight shrug. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t think it matters. I’m sure you could think of something.”

I never cared where the Bell went. No reason to care where
his
ship went.

He grimaced. “And I guess you want me to stay sober enough to fly us there, even though we don’t know where
there
is.”

“That would be good since I don’t know how to fly.”

A smile crept onto his lips. “I’ll teach you. That’ll give us something to do.”

Adam had tried. He showed me the controls of the shuttles, but at the time I didn’t care. He had been there to do it for me, and he had been better at it than anyone else. Why would I learn when my husband was the best pilot in the fleet?

John said, “When do you want to leave?”

“Now. The sooner the better.”

I hadn’t expected him to go along with all this so easily. Maybe he knew I was right.

*****

Packing was quick. There wasn’t much I wanted to bring, just some clothes and keepsakes. I found myself packing more of Adam’s stuff than my own.

Having his things and clothes wouldn’t make him come back, but it made me feel better. Connected.

Whatever remained could be stored on the Bell. I didn’t expect to come back, but who knew.

Leaving was for the best. They probably needed the rooms for someone else. Someone who would take Adam’s job and Adam’s place. Maybe this
someone
was already on the ship, waiting for me to move out of the way.

No, that wasn’t right. His position would be filled, but he would never be forgotten. He had given too much for both the ship and the Confederacy to be forgotten.

The thought gave some comfort, but nothing could fill the black void inside. Traveling might not fill the emptiness either, but it was worth a try.

I pressed the communicator next to the door. Even this inanimate object echoed with memories. Adam taught me to use it, a long time ago. He had seemed invincible.

“I’m ready.”

The Captain’s voice answered, “Are you sure about this?”

“Without a doubt.”

I hauled my luggage into the hallway and glanced back into the room that had seen so much joy and so many tears. It had been home, a good home, but now it was just a room. Adam furnished his quarters for me, to make a home for
me
, and if I kept looking at it and thinking about it I’d probably go crazy.

Blake, Anya, and John came up in the lift. Blake said, “So, where are you going?”

John shrugged. “I don’t know. Somewhere that’s not here.”

Anya said, “I’ll miss you. Both of you.”

John managed a smile. “I know, and we’ll miss you. We just have to get out of here for a while.”

She bit her lip and nodded. She was my best friend and I should care more about removing John from her, but I didn’t have the energy.

At least she was still on the ship. It must mean Martinez failed. I hadn’t even thought about him since before the disaster. Maybe he had been in cahoots with the people on the Grendl, in which case he might be dead.

Good.

Blake nodded. “Alex, you know you always have a home here when you’re ready to come back.”

“Thank you.”