Dead Silence (19 page)

Air soughed through her lips and she said, "What a beautiful place in which to enter the afterlife." Then she shifted her gaze to me. "Can you do one more thing for me?"

I nodded, swallowing back my tears.

Myst smiled. "Can you tell Freya that I want the ceremony to be held here?"

"I'll tell her," I said, patting her hand.

Then she hesitated. "If it's not too much trouble. If it is, then Asgard is fine . . ."

Her voice faded away and then her breath shuddered.

I looked out to sea as Myst's head tilted to rest on my shoulder. If anyone should see us, they'd see three young people enjoying a moment on the beach.

Not two winged Valkyries and one armored warrior, keeping each other company until one of them died.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

I suppressed a shiver, not wanting to disturb Myst. Then she shuddered again as she took another breath. "Thank you both. This was amazing." She fell so silent that I didn't need to look to see that it was over.

Myst was gone.

I remained as still as possible, afraid she may tilt over and fall onto the sand. We stayed that way for a while, and for every moment that passed I allowed my tears to fall.

The view of the ocean blurred into nothing and then Joshua was reaching for Myst, carefully laying her down on the sand with his jacket for a pillow.

When he was done, he moved beside me, put his arm around my shoulders and pulled my close. He kissed me at my temple then held me tight. I didn't stop crying, not even when I lay my head on his shoulders.

We sat that way for a while, with me taking a moment here and there to glance at Myst's beautiful face, trying to understand why I kept losing the people I cared about.

I inhaled and it transformed into a shuddering sob.

Joshua bent to look at me, then gave me another squeeze. "At least she went on her own terms. It's what I would want."

"She didn't exactly agree to die," I bit out, my voice holding a harsh edge that I knew was unfair but that I didn't apologize for.

I couldn't say I was sorry because I'd meant what I'd said.

Joshua shifted beside me, his hand rubbing my back in soft strokes. "Bryn, we all accepted the possibility of death the moment we agreed to fight for Odin. It's our destiny to give our lives for him."

I turned to face him, anger blazing in my eyes. "Tell me what choice you had, Joshua. You died, for god's sake. You were gone, to heaven or the afterlife or whatever the hell is out there. You didn't have a choice when you were taken to Asgard. Did they even say you could refuse?"

"Yes, Bryn. They did. There was a period of time we were given in which we had to think over the choice, to decide if we wanted to take the opportunity and serve Odin or if we wanted to go back to the afterlife."

I sniffed. "At least they gave you a choice. Nobody gave me a damned choice."

Joshua frowned. "I thought the Valkyries were given a choice too. Sigrun said that when they were brought to Asgard they were asked to choose. They got to say no before they were given their wings. I think even the Ulfr decide if they want to serve or not. We all had a choice, Bryn."

"Not all of us." My heart thudded heavily against my ribs.

"What do you mean?" I tilted my head to look at Joshua. "I didn't get to choose."

"But-"

"When Sigrun took me to Asgard I was given time to prepare but nobody told me I could say no. Sigrun told me not to anger Odin, but even so, had I known I could refuse maybe I would have done so at the outset."

Joshua laughed. "Who are you kidding, Bryn?" He shook his head and squeezed my shoulder. "I know you, Bee. So, I know you would not have turned the opportunity down."

Funny, he hadn't called me Bee since before he'd died in Craven. I shook my head. "You don't understand. At least I would have had the chance to choose. You can look back now and say 'Yes, this was my decision and I accept it' but I can't do that. All of this, all the responsibility and all the pain was shoved into my arms. I had no choice. Not once. I was given my wings without a choice. I had to bring Aidan back from Craven with a bullet-hole in his forehead, his corpse dripping maggots as I moved. I had to find the rest of Brisingamen for Freya so she'd allow Aidan to live. All of that was not a choice."

Joshua sighed. "I understand how you feel."

I fell silent, wondering if he really did know how I felt. But, then I saw it clearly, that even if he didn't empathize with my experience with Aidan, he'd shared most of my experiences with me, that he too had been used and betrayed by Mika, just pawns in her plan to betray Fen and go over to her grandfather Loki's side. Just another person Loki had manipulated. And Joshua had grieved for Sigrun too. Her death had taken its toll on all of us, Aimee included.

And I was being selfish.

I sighed. "I'm sorry to be a drag."

Joshua let go of my shoulders to run a fingertip along my cheek. He pushed aside a stray lock of hair and kissed my temple so gently it made me want to burst into tears again.

"Never, ever be sorry for talking to me about your feelings," he whispered in my ear. "I am always here for you. Always."

I laughed softly, the sound snatched away by a stiff breeze that sent golden grains whipping along the surface of the sand. And then it hit me that happiness was not appropriate at a time like this.

Shifting around, I glanced back at Myst. She looked like she was taking a peaceful nap. Her lips curled in a slight smile, her eyes shut. Even her skin glowed. The only thing that indicated something was wrong was Myst's wings.

Their color had begun to fade, the rich glow of obsidian darkness had grown limp and lifeless. Soon her feathers would begin to fall. We didn't have much time.

Had she died instantly, without her strength waning for so many hours, she would have lasted long enough for us to return her to Asgard, if she'd wanted that.

But, since she'd requested a burial here in Sunset Cove, it left me wondering what the next step would be. "Should we take her back to Asgard?" I asked Joshua, not sure if I was strong enough to make any decisions right now.

His gaze moved to Myst. "Would she last that long?"

"I have no idea. And we'd have to bring her right back anyway," I whispered, then sniffed. "I'll go to Freya and ask. It shouldn't take long."

Joshua nodded, his expression somber. "You go. I'll stay with her."

I grabbed Gungnir from the sand where I'd left it when we'd arrived, and got to my feet. I tapped the spear and in the next instant I reappeared in Freya's Hall in Hel. The last time I'd been here I'd fought with Astrid, Freya's second-in-command. Now, I entered the hall to tell the goddess that Myst, the Valkyrie she'd given to me, was dead.

And that she wanted her last rites to be held in Midgard. A part of me was afraid of Freya's reaction.

I sensed movement at my right, and turned to see Freya walk through the doorway, speaking in low tones with another black-haired woman. Freya's companion was olive-skinned where the goddess was milky pale. Both looked up at me, surprised at my unannounced intrusion.

"What is it, Brynhildr?" asked Freya, her face tightening in alarm. She already knew that something was wrong, no doubt from the expression on my face.

"It's Myst. She's-"

"What happened?" she asked, her voice growing cooler.

I inhaled sharply before forcing the words out. "She was on the team that went to Washington. We were attacked by Jotunn. A number of warriors were wounded. Myst's injuries were too great." I struggled, taking a while to take a deep breath. "Myst is dead."

"Oh," said Freya, her voice soft, her face growing pale as she walked to her throne.

"I'm so sorry." My voice broke and I swallowed hard.

"You're sorry?" Freya's eyes narrowed as she seated herself in the carved black stone seat. "Did you kill Myst?"

"No," I answered, hurt by the suggestion. "Of course, I didn't kill her."

"Then why are you sorry? One is only sorry for something one has done or caused to happen. In this case, you didn't do anything wrong."

"I feel like I did," I found myself admitting.

"Why would you feel that way?" Freya tilted her head to watch my face as I responded.

"Because it was her first trip to Midgard and I was too busy protecting the President to watch out for her. I told her to stay with me, that I would keep an eye on her."

Freya's laugh was hollow while her companion stared at me as if I'd just grown another head. "My dear girl. You simply need to stop taking responsibility for everything that goes wrong. If Myst was with you, she was aware of the consequences of her actions."

"And now she's dead," I said coldly, breaking eye contact with Freya for a second before looking back.

She nodded slowly, the dark curls in her hair bouncing against her shoulders. "And now she's dead," she repeated. "And nothing of that is your fault. Where is she now?"

"She wanted to die on the beach. She said she'd always been fascinated by beaches and hadn't been to a seaside since she'd entered Asgard. So I took her to a beach I'd been to when I was a kid."

"She died there?" asked Freya, a frown creasing her smooth forehead.

I nodded, then cleared my throat. "She wanted her last rites to be held at that beach." I watched Freya, suddenly afraid she'd think I'm insane to make such a request.

Instead, the goddess said, "Good. If that is what she wished then I am glad you made it happen for her. One's final moments are special, I'm told."

I cleared my throat. "She was very weak for a while. I think it took a toll on her body. Not long after she died her wings changed color and she began to shed them. I . . . I'm not sure what to do now. How long do we wait for the funeral ceremony?"

"It is best to do the final burial ceremony at that beach, as she requested. I will bring everything you need to complete the rites, and a few warriors to attend. I expect the rest of your team is busy?"

I nodded. "If it happens immediately then it will just be Joshua and me. He's watching over Myst."

The goddess gave me a curt nod then turned to the other woman. "Hel, I want you to meet our Brynhildr." Then Freya turned to me and waved her fingers. "Bryn, meet Hel, goddess of the Underworld. She controls this realm."

I bent my head at Hel, feeling a shiver run down my spine. Another one of Loki's children. This one banished to the underworld to ensure the safety of the rest of the nine realms. But from what I could see, Hel's punishment wasn't so bad if it meant she was in charge of things down here.

"Nice to meet you," I said giving the goddess a small smile.

"It is my pleasure, Brynhildr. I have to apologize for my sire's behavior toward you. It seems he has some kind of vendetta."

I shrugged, unsure of where Hel's allegiance lay so the less said about the Trickster, the better.

Thankfully I didn't need to respond because Freya said, "If you will excuse me, I will get the funeral arrangements made. Bryn you may return to Myst and await our arrival."

I hesitated for a moment. "Will you know where to come?"

The goddess nodded with a smile. "None of my Valkyries are beyond my reach, Brynhildr." With that she turned on her heel and left the hall.

And then I was left alone with the goddess of the Underworld. I hadn't heard much about her, probably because no-one really spoke of her. And now I felt uncomfortable alone with her, as if I was somehow afraid of her.

Breaking the silence with a question, I asked, "May I ask what will happen to Myst?"

Hel shrugged, her straight black hair shivering like a slick waterfall over her shoulders. "It depends on what she wants. Myst has served the gods for a long time, many centuries in fact. So what she wishes for her afterlife will likely be granted."

"What could she wish for?" I asked, aware that the goddess had been cryptic and perhaps didn't want to answer my questions.

"She could request to be allowed entry to the afterlife, a place of eternal peace. Or she could ask to continue to serve here in Hel."

"And if she serves here?"

"Then she will become a wraith-like creature. A Shade, if you will." I suppressed a shudder. That sounded even worse than people being risen from the dead to serve as Odin's warriors. With Hel watching me, I couldn't reveal my thoughts so I just nodded. "Thanks for answering my questions. I hope I haven't been rude."

"Not at all, Brynhildr. Your reputation precedes you."

I flushed, then gave her a small smile. "It was good to meet you. Will you come to the funeral?"

She shook her head and gave me a sad twist of a smile. "I cannot cross the boundaries of this plane. Hel is who I am, and Helheim is my domain."

Still unsure how to continue this awkward exchange I lifted my hand in a brief wave. Thankfully, she gave me a regal nod, allowing me to disappear from Freya's hall.

CHAPTER THIRTY

It felt strange to be relieved to arrive back beside Myst's body, but I was.