Dead Scared
Authors: Curtis Jobling
To the Class of ’88, Penketh High School, Warrington
First published in Great Britain in 2014 by Simon and Schuster UK Ltd
A CBS COMPANY
Copyright © 2014 Curtis Jobling
This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.
No reproduction without permission.
All rights reserved.
The right of Curtis Jobling to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents
Act, 1988.
Simon & Schuster UK Ltd
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Simon & Schuster India, New Delhi
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
PB ISBN 978-1-47111-577-6
Ebook ISBN 978-1-47111-578-3
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to
actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Printed and bound by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY
www.simonandschuster.co.uk
www.simonandschuster.com.au
ONE
First and Last
They say everyone has their soul mate. I found mine in preschool. Actually, mine found me would be closer to the truth. I didn’t want to be there – who would?
I’d been ripped away from my mother’s comforting embrace and forced into a realm of random toddlers and tantrums. Admittedly, on this occasion, I was the toddler having the tantrum,
having been abandoned by Mum, but that’s beside the point.
One inmate chose to take pity on me. It could have been the injustice of my plight that had drawn him to me. Perhaps my righteous bawling had struck a chord of brotherly love with him. I
discovered years later he had his eye on my swanky new Ben 10 toy, but I won’t quibble. I don’t want to cheapen the moment. A quick hug, back pat and exchange of an action figure later,
and our friendship was sealed. That was a big day for me and Dougie Hancock: we’ve been best mates ever since.
Twelve years later, heading for Dougie’s house, I was aware that I had a stupid grin plastered over my face. It had been there for the last ten minutes. I laughed out
loud as I pedalled, letting loose a brief
woo-hoo
that Homer Simpson would’ve been proud of. It had just gone nine o’clock, and St Mary’s church bells were tolling nearby.
I was going to be late getting in. Dad would probably have something to say about that, especially on a school night, but I didn’t care. I had to get to Dougie’s house, my good news
couldn’t wait. Not that he’d believe me, of course. I already knew he’d call me a liar, accuse me of having Munchausen’s Syndrome. He might even say I was suffering from a
head trauma, but still, I couldn’t keep it to myself. I pedalled a little harder, my bicycle cutting up puddles and leaving spray in its wake.
Week nights I tended to stay in – except on Thursdays, when I went round to Dougie’s to play Dungeons and Dragons and listen to his old indie albums. It’s probably worth
mentioning now that I was a bit of a geek, something the more mentally and emotionally challenged in school constantly mocked. They didn’t like that my friends and I enjoyed roleplaying games
as a hobby, didn’t have girlfriends, or the fact that we read books and were able to string sentences together. Our ability to walk upright with little difficulty no doubt really put their
noses out of joint too. It helped that Dougie was an even bigger nerd than me. The two of us drew strength from this bond, this brotherhood of geekdom. People could call my mates and I whatever
names they wanted, we let it roll off us like water from a kaiju’s back. Dougie and I were ‘best mates through thick and thin’. I was the thin one . . . you can guess the rest. He
was a kindred spirit to me, the Yin to my Yang, the Ant to my Dec.
Anyway, this chill November evening had been one that I would never forget. I’d spent it at the Square, the local precinct which was a hangout for many of the kids from school. In short,
it’s an intimidating place for a lad like me. I’m shy and a bit of an outsider, often looking in on the social gatherings of my peers like they’re speaking another language. I
wouldn’t ordinarily have been there, but somehow I’d plucked up my courage and gone along. Something had happened that had turned my world upside down. It had been unexpected, it had
been beautiful, and it had blown my tiny mind. We’re talking Death Star explosion here. There really was only one person I needed to spill my gossip to, and I was fast approaching his house.
I laughed out loud once more, giddy with my news and good fortune, imagining Dougie’s face when I told him. I passed the road that I would ordinarily have turned off down, the one that led to
my home. I didn’t live far from Dougie – St Mary’s graveyard and the school playing fields were all that separated our houses. I grinned to myself as I cycled the remainder of the
journey to Casa Hancock.
It looked like an exciting new chapter in my life was just about to begin. Then again, fate can be a fickle beast.
I never saw the vehicle that hit me. I was doing everything right: staying close to the kerb, my lights on, both hands gripping the handlebars and brakes. It came out of nowhere. I heard the
headlight shatter. I felt my bicycle crumple against the bumper as I flew out of the saddle, hitting the bonnet with a bang. My body spun as the car sped on, impacting with the windscreen before
rolling like a ragdoll over the roof. Then the vehicle was gone and my broken body was flying through the air.
I was dead before I hit the tarmac.
Hit and Run
I never could stand hospitals. I’d been into Warrington General a couple of times for operations and neither of them had been pleasant experiences. Worst of all was last
year’s broken arm. I’d been playing football with my mates at lunchtime. It was only supposed to be a kickabout, a bit of fun. That hadn’t stopped Milton, our Peruvian exchange
student who was built like a brick outhouse, from charging into me and sweeping my legs clean out from under me. I quickly discovered they take their football very seriously in Peru. I flew up into
the air and came back down to earth head first. Instinctively I put my left arm out to prevent myself breaking my neck, and my arm crumpled under my entire body weight. I was told later that the
kids on the lower school playground had heard the
crack
a hundred metres away. When I got up I was holding my arm just below the elbow, revealing a perfect break halfway down my forearm. It
was like an extra joint, the bottom portion swinging from an additional elbow. Two of my mates threw up at the sight and a nearby Year Seven girl fainted.
The nurse who’d seen me at the General Hospital had said it was just bruised. Admittedly my knowledge of medicine was limited but even I knew an additional pivot point in my forearm meant
there was something very wrong.
Now here we were again. My parents sat on a bench in the corridor of the hospital, Mum staring off into space, her jaw slack. In her hands she clutched my scarf, the one
she’d knitted, bound about her knuckles. I crouched in front of her, trying to catch her gaze, but she looked straight through me.
‘Mum?’
Nothing, no response. She seemed calm but her unblinking eyes were screaming. Dad, to my surprise, was crying. I’d only seen him cry once before, when I was five years old and my grandpa
passed away. He wept freely now, his arm around Mum.
‘What’s the matter?’ I asked, but again was ignored.
My older brother, Ben, sat opposite them, eyes wandering over the linoleum floor. He was in sixth form and a tough act to follow. Straight As throughout his school career. Every teacher I ever
met would greet me with the same phrase: ‘Ah, another Underwood boy: I bet he’s a prodigy just like his wonderful, frighteningly intelligent brother!’ I had to work my backside
off throughout school, just to follow in Ben’s mighty footsteps. Talking of which, his foot now tapped out a beat on the floor, iPod headphones tucked into his ears. I sat down beside him,
leaning in close. Unable to catch the tune, I reached for an earphone, ready to tug it out of Ben’s lughole. I readied myself for the brotherly punch. That’s what we did: I pulled out
his earplugs and he gave me a dead arm.
But this time my fingers wouldn’t connect with the little speaker on the wire. They went through the thin white cable, again and again, as I feverishly tried to grasp it. The headphones
were passing
through
my fingers; no resistance, no sensation. Ben wafted his hand beside his head suddenly, as if batting away a fly. As if he didn’t know I was there . . .
‘Ben!’ I said, loud now. His foot kept tapping and his head remained bowed. I pulled away, looking down at my hands with incomprehension. They were so pale, almost translucent, a
faint blue glow humming beneath the skin. I waved them before me, turning them over again and again. They left a blur before my eyes, as if moving in slow motion. This wasn’t good at all. My
stomach began to heave and lurch, a wave of dizziness crashing over me. I stumbled away from my family down the corridor, gasping for air, reaching out for the wall as I went.
My fingers passed through it, and my feet slipped through the floor as I struggled to keep hold of both my surroundings and my sanity. A doorway opened at the end of the corridor, dazzling
bright white spilling into the passageway. Warm, white light. Welcoming. I felt an urge to see what was beyond the door, to pass through into the room beyond. My feet were no longer connected with
the linoleum floor, my body blending with the world around me. All it would take was the will to move on, a nod of the head and I’d be through the doorway.
I turned to my left, my attention suddenly drawn away from the white room. It was another opening, close to where my folks sat, and utterly unremarkable compared to the glowing portal at the
corridor’s end. What caught my eye was a pair of scuffed trainers lying abandoned on a metal trolley. I knew that the white doorway wouldn’t be open for ever, I was aware that I needed
to get down there, and quickly, but I couldn’t resist looking into this little side room off the corridor. Because the trainers were mine.
Leaving the glowing portal behind me, I allowed myself to be drawn into the room. As I entered I could feel my feet hitting the ground once more, each step away from the white light allowing me
to reconnect with the world. It was an emergency room, another set of double doors exiting back into the Casualty ward. A body lay on a trolley, a white sheet covering it, an array of electronic
equipment surrounding it. The ‘pingy’ monitors you see on the telly were there, but they were decidedly pingless. Another trolley held a grisly collection of bloodied tools –
scalpels, forceps and freaky things that belonged in a horror movie. One of the trainers had been torn almost in half, while the other lay chopped up beside it. I’d saved up for ages to buy
those trainers, and now some muppet had apparently taken a chainsaw to them. I bent down to look on the tray beneath – the rest of my clothes lay there, in an identical state of disrepair.
Seriously, who had helped me out of these – Edward Scissorhands?
