Dead Outside (Book 1) (14 page)

“It
was the least I could do,” I felt a tear roll down my cheek. “Listen, none of
that matters now, we’re safe, we’re together, we’re gonna be alright.”

Her
face lit up a bit, “You think so?”

“Well
I hope so.” It probably wasn’t the best time for a joke, but I knew it would
lighten the mood up a bit.

Sarah
punched me in the arm playfully, “Come on, do you really think so?”

”Of
course I do,” I reassured her with a smile. “It’s us against the world, and the
world doesn’t stand a chance.”

Her
eyes were still puffy, and she still had a tear rolling down her face, but she
had a genuine smile on her face. “How do you do that?” she asked.

“How
do I do what?” I asked back, not quite sure what she meant.

“How
do you always manage to get my mind out of the dark and make me smile?” Her
eyes were just inches from mine, close enough for me to see my reflection in
them.

I
thought for a second and answered, “Probably the chiseled jaw and smashing good
looks.”

“No,
that can’t be it,” she said sarcastically, then looked up. “It has to be
something else.”

I
just smiled back, “I know you,” the answer was simple enough. “I’ve known you
for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been closer to anyone, and probably
never will.”

She
was giving me a look. I’d seen the look before, one I’d always wanted her to give
me but she never gave. She wanted me to kiss her, and I was more then happy to
do so.

“Did
you guys pack any toilet paper yet?” Nick asked, leaning through the door from
the house to the garage, completely oblivious to what was going on.

“Nope,
sure didn’t,” I answered in a get the fuck out of here tone, but it was too
late. Sarah took a step away and wiped her face. She looked at me for a second
then started toward the door. “I’ll go ask Roxie if she did.”

She
walked passed a still oblivious Nick, who looked at me with a face full of
bewilderment, “What was going on here?”

“Nothing,
thanks to you.” I felt like punching him, but decided to hold off. We’d
probably end up fighting again later anyways. “Maybe next time you could glance
into a room before barging in like you own the place.”

“Well
technically since my uncle did own this place, and he’s probably dead now, that
does technically make it mine,” he responded with more then a hint of sarcasm.

“Do
you want me to hit you?” I asked seriously, though he probably thought I was
responding to his sarcasm with more sarcasm. “Because I will hit you.”

He
raised his hands in a mock surrender, “Not necessary, my bad.” He walked off
with his hands still held into the air.

I
rolled my eyes, “Look at me, I’m Nick, I like to ruin special moments.” I did
my best impression of Nick’s voice, despite how cheesy it sounded and then
threw a wrench across the garage.

The
truck was packed full by six o’clock. The way I figured it we had about three
or four days worth of food and water in it, though Nick was adamant it would
last a month. It was dark outside, so we decided to call it a night and relax
in the living room. We had a few candles on the coffee table, which barely
illuminated the room. Roxie and Nick were on the loveseat, and Sarah and I were
sitting on the couch.

“So
what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Roxie asked. “Do we just sit here, or do we have
something productive to do?”

“The
truck’s packed up. we have room in the bed to throw our remaining supplies in
if we have time.” My arm was around Sarah’s shoulders. I rubbed my thumb back
and forth a bit, “We have to make a run tomorrow.”

Nick
and Roxie looked at me quizzically. I’m sure Sarah was giving me a similar
look. Roxie spoke first, “What do we need?”

I
let out a sigh, I wanted to take Sarah to her dad’s house, and I didn’t know if
she knew he was dead, but I knew she needed to see him buried, she needed to
have that funeral. I didn’t want to have that conversation now, so I lied. “I
think we need to get a head start on gathering supplies. It would be better to
do it now then later.”

Nick
was hesitant, but I could tell he agreed with me. “Where did you have in mind?”

“We
should check some of the houses closer to town, leaving the ones closer to us
for later, and maybe a gas station or two if it’s safe enough,” I suggested,
knowing Sarah’s house was on the way. I’d talk to Sarah tonight, then Roxie and
Nick in the morning about the truth of the drive.

“Well,
if we have such a big day tomorrow we should go to bed now,” Roxie stood up,
“See you two in the morning.”

Sarah
and I said goodnight, Nick got up and followed her upstairs. I pulled the couch
cushions off, and pulled the bed out. I got undressed, and hung up my hat.

We
both laid down on the bed. It didn’t take long for Sarah to roll over on her
side and ask me, “Why are we really going out tomorrow?”

I
rolled onto my side as well. I sighed and looked at her, “We need to go to your
house.”

She
went right to the point, “Is this about my dad?”

I
nodded, “I went to your house when I was looking for you.” I paused because I
wasn’t sure what to say next, but she spoke before I could continue.

“My
dad called me the day before I talked to you in the car.” She wiped her eyes,
“He told me to be careful, to trust you, that you would keep me safe, that he
loved me, and not to come back home.”

I
didn’t know she’d talked to him. He must have called her after he got bitten,
but before he killed himself. “I didn’t know you knew.” I felt a tear roll down
my cheek, then closed my eyes and tried to find the words to respond, but felt
her finger wipe it off my cheek.

I
opened my eyes. Sarah was giving me the same look she was before in the garage.
“Thank you,” she said, then grabbed my head and pulled it to hers, kissing me
passionately. I’d always imagined our first real kiss to be shared romantically
at some fancy restaurant, or a picnic. Maybe even a distant vacation. But I
never dreamed it would be in Nick’s Uncle George’s house, with both of us in
tears.

Chapter Fourteen: Memories

8:00
AM, July 7

My
eyes opened to light shining into them. I sat up squinting at the light shining
through the boards on the window. After shielding my eyes I noticed Sarah was
still asleep next to me.

Even
though Sarah was hogging the covers I was still covered in sweat. The Florida heat was unbearable already. Now that there was no air conditioning it was like a
nightmare.

I
stood up as quietly as I could, she deserved to sleep a little longer, and I
needed to talk to Nick and Roxie before we left anyhow.

After
getting dressed and putting my hat on, Sarah rolled over to where I was and
hugged my pillow thinking it was me. I couldn’t help but smirk, last night
might not have gone how I thought or hoped it would, but it was the best night
I’d had in years.

I
tried to go up the stairs quietly, but every step made some kind of noise.
Luckily Sarah was practically in a coma. I was about to knock on the door to
Nick and Roxie’s room, then just opened it. Sure there was the chance I’d see
one or both of them naked, but it wouldn’t be the first time or the last, they
had a habit of leaving doors open.

They
were both clothed thank god, though Nick was sleeping on the floor, which I was
going to have to bring up later.

“Roxie,”
I whispered, not wanting to wake Nick up. I’d need to talk to him after my
sister.                 

She
didn’t budge so I threw a pillow at her. She jerked a bit and looked at me with
angry eyes, “What are you doing?”

“It’s
time to get up. We gotta talk,” I whispered again, trying to let Nick sleep.

Roxie
was giving me an evil eye, like she had been up all night, and combined with
Nick on the floor, they must have been arguing again. She sat up and rubbed her
eyes, “Fine, I’ll get breakfast started. Can you wake Nick up?”

“I
need to talk to you before he gets up,” I admitted. Nick had been a bit
irrational lately. I just needed to talk to Roxie for bit before he got up.

She
rolled her eyes and walked passed me. “Come on, lets talk about Sarah.”

Although
I wanted and probably needed to talk about Sarah, there were more important
issues at hand. I followed her down to the stairs to the kitchen.

Roxie
was still in the process of waking up, but I figured she was still awake enough
to process what I needed to say. “We’re going to Sarah’s house today.”

“I
thought we were going to talk about what happened last night,” she sighed,
probably not quite grasping what I meant.

“What
do you mean what happened last night?” I asked, and then shook my head. “Never
mind.” Roxie was still half asleep and wasn’t really listening to me. “Roxie!”
I yelled, “Focus!”

Her
eyes widened for a second, like she was snapping out of a trance. “What? Why
are we going to Sarah’s house?”

“Jerry’s
dead,” I felt myself choking up saying it. “I went to her house when I was
looking for her.”

Roxie’s
eyes got wide, “What?” She sat down and her eyes glistened with inevitable
tears, “How?”

I
let out a sigh and gave Roxie all the gory details of what I saw at Sarah’s
house. She looked down and took a deep breath, “We feared the worst when things
really started getting bad. Sarah got a call from him but she wouldn’t say what
happened.”

“We
have to go and bury him.” I filled up a cup with water and took a drink, “Sarah
deserves to have a funeral for her father.”

Roxie
sipped her coffee and nodded solemnly, “She does deserve that, and we do too.”

It
was in that moment that I realized I hadn’t told Roxie about our parents yet. I
had hinted at it the other night when she was looking at that family photo of
us at Disney, but didn’t really tell her. I took a big gulp of water, wishing
it was something a bit stronger to help me work up the courage to tell Roxie
what happened.

“Okay,
you took a courage gulp,” Roxie raised an eyebrow. “Come on, what’s eating you
up?”

“It’s
about Mom and Dad,” I looked her in the eyes and shook my head. “They didn’t
make it.” I was getting choked up so I paused to let it pass. “The Army bombed East Cleveland, including Grandma’s neighborhood.”

“I
know.” She took another sip of her coffee, “I mean, we heard about the bombings
in the news, but they weren’t specific. But the last time I talked to Mom, she
didn’t say ‘I’ll see you later,’ that’s when I knew. Whether they’re alive or
not, we’re never going to see them again, we have to move on.”

I
nodded, and finished my water, “I had the same conversation with Dad before I
left.”

Roxie’s
lip quivered a bit and she squeezed her eyes shut. I could tell she was about
to cry so I stood up and wrapped my arms around her. She wrapped hers around me
and sobbed for a minute, then pulled away, “We have to leave, I don’t want to
die in this house.”

“Nick
isn’t going to go quietly.” I sighed, sitting back down now that Roxie was done
crying, at least for now, “I don’t know why he’s so hell bent on staying here.”

“It’s
the last thing he has from his family,” she reminded me. “His parents moved
away four years ago, then he moved in with us, then we moved out. The only one
he had left that lived close was his uncle, and he was visiting Nick’s parents
when this all happened. He’s heard even less then we have.”

I
guess it made sense. Nick had a hard exterior, he’d never admit to weakness
like being nostalgic, but I’d known him since we were kids, he’d confided in me
about those things a few times, mostly after a few drinks.

“Well
maybe this funeral will help him to move on,” I stood up to go wake up Nick and
Sarah. “Hopefully it will help us all too.”

Nick
was still sprawled on the floor, so I kicked his foot. “Wake up princess we got
work to do today.” He jerked, but didn’t get up, so I kicked him again with the
same result. “I’ll be back in five minutes with a bucket of water.”

He
must have been awake enough to hear me because he jumped up, looked around like
he was lost, “I’m up. I’m up.”

I
didn’t stay long enough to see if he was actually getting up or just going back
to sleep. I noticed Sarah was still asleep as I walked down the stairs, so I
went over to the pullout couch. I leaned in and whispered to her, “Sarah, It’s
time to…” before I could finish my sentence she swung her arm up in a reflex
motion smacking me in the nose, “Ow!”

She
had a look of fear for a moment, and then snapped out of it when she saw my
face, and even chuckled for a second, “Calm down you baby, I didn’t hit you
that hard.”

I
rubbed my nose while she stretched and got out of bed, “It’s not polite to hit
people you know.”

 “You
know it’s not polite to wake people up when they are sleeping either,” she
rolled her eyes. “Besides I like hitting you too much,” she ended with a smile
and leaned up to kiss me.

I
leaned down to close the distance, she tasted like morning breath, but I didn’t
mind. “Get up lazy, we got stuff to do today.”

“Ugh,
fine, I’ll get up.” She sat up and stretched. “When are we leaving?”

“As
soon as we’re all ready.” I walked over to my backpack and started digging
through the pockets until I found the sidearm, then walked back over to Sarah
who was pulling her pants up. “Here.”

She
looked at it for a second, then looked back up to me, “Is that the one I used
before?”

I
nodded, holding it out for her to grab. She seemed a bit hesitant at first, but
took it. “I want you to keep this with you whenever you’re outside, no matter
what.”

She
stared at it in her hands for a few more seconds, then set it down on the bed
and hugged me, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“Relax
Sarah, it’s not exactly a wedding ring or anything.” I joked to try to make
light of the moment.

She
rolled her eyes, “That’s not what I mean.” She picked up the gun and tucked it
in to the waistline of her jeans, “I mean going home, I don’t think I’m ready
to go back.”

I
placed my hands on her shoulders, and looked her in the eyes, “Sarah, your dad
deserves this and so do you. If you don’t do this now you’ll regret it.”

She
preemptively wiped a tear as it was about to roll down her cheek, then nodded.
“Okay.”

10:00 AM, July 7

It
took longer than expected to get ready to leave. We decided to take four
wheelers, since my truck was already packed with supplies.

Roxie
had my .22 rifle, Nick had his handgun, Sarah had my handgun, and I had my shotgun.
We also each had large empty backpacks ready to be filled with any supplies we
came across.

I
checked the fuel level in the four-wheeler Sarah and I would be riding. It was
just about full, when I realized we should probably bring some empty gas containers
with us and siphon some out of some cars or something.

Nick
was in the shed looking for a set of bolt cutters to help us break any locks,
so I walked over to see if there were any gas containers lying around. When I
got there he was digging through a cabinet filled with tools.

“Any
luck yet?” I asked him, knowing the answer already.

He
bumped his head on a shelf inside the cabinet, “Son of a bitch,” he turned
around surprised. “Please don’t scare me like that again.”

“The
undead don’t have a habit of talking before they sneak up on you,” I reminded
him. “Anyways, do we have any gas cans in here? I think we should gather gas
while we’re out.”

Nick
rolled his eyes then nodded then gestured to my right, “There are a few stacked
up by the door there.”

I
looked to my right and saw four three gallon containers stacked up next to the
door. “Thanks, I’m gonna bungee these to the four-wheelers. Let me know if you
can’t find those bolt cutters.”

He
waved his hand in acknowledgement as he stuck his head back into the cabinet to
look for the bolt cutters. I grabbed the containers and carried them over to
the four-wheelers.

Roxie
was standing at the end of the driveway with her arms crossed, looking toward
the highway. I set the containers down next to the four-wheelers and walked
over to her. She probably noticed I was walking up, but she didn’t move her
head at all before she asked me, and I couldn’t see her eyes behind her thick
black sunglasses. “Everything packed up?”

“Not
quite,” I answered, but walked past her onto the road. I glanced in the
opposite direction she was looking, just in case, but didn’t see anything, then
stood next to her. “Nick is still looking for the bolt cutters.”

“Did
you already pack something to use instead?” she asked. I smirked a bit, but she
didn’t notice, her gaze was fixated straight ahead on the road.

“Of
course, but his uncle has to own some bolt cutters. He’s got every other tool
known to man in that shed.” I glanced over to Roxie, and stared at her for a
second, “Everything is going to be fine,” I reassured her.

She
turned her head to meet my gaze, “Can you honestly tell me that, after what you
told me this morning?”

I
didn’t look away, I just stared. “No,” I admitted. “I honestly can’t, but we
have to do this, we can’t stay cooped up forever. We were going to have to move
on eventually. You said it yourself, you can’t stay in this house forever.” I
broke our gaze, and looked down the road again, “This is the first step in
getting out of here.”

“Okay
then.” She pulled her hair up and tied it into a pony tail. “Let’s get going.”

She
looked back at the road, and then walked over to the shed where Nick was. I
went back toward the house to find Sarah, she hadn’t come outside yet.

“Sarah?”
I called out as soon as I walked through the door. I didn’t hear an answer, and
didn’t see her in the living room or the kitchen, but I had a good idea of
where she was.

The
door to the garage was open. I saw her sitting in the passenger seat of my
truck. She always did like that truck. She was half the reason I hadn’t
scrapped it yet, as many problems as I’d had with it. I walked around to the
driver’s side and got in.

I
didn’t say anything at first, just sat there. She looked over at me, tried to
smile, but she was too upset to hold it. I smiled to reassure her, “Still
worried?”

“Yeah,”
she sighed, “Being in here always helped to cheer me up a bit. I figured maybe
if I waited in here until we left it might, I don’t know.”

“Help
calm you down.” I helped her finish her thought, and then put my arm around her
shoulders.

She
smirked a bit, “Yeah. Are we ready to go yet?”

I
nodded, “Nick is still looking for bolt cutters but it’s getting too late,
we’re leaving in five minutes, whether he’s found them or not.”

She
took a deep breath, “I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” She shrugged, and
then made an attempt at a smile, but I could tell it was a fake smile. She
wasn’t ready, but she would be by the time we got to her house.

We
got out of my truck then made our way outside. Nick had a defeated look on his
face. He didn’t have any bolt cutters in his hands. I shook my head rather
annoyingly. We should have left earlier, and it was past eleven o’clock now. It
felt like Nick was just trying to stall for time looking for them, but I wasn’t
sure why. He didn’t want to get stuck out there in the dark any more then I
did.

I
walked up to Nick as he was checking the gas level of his four-wheeler. “Did
Roxie talk to you about going to Sarah’s house?”

He
nodded, “I think it would have been better if you had talked to me about it,
instead of leading me on about a supply run, but yeah, she told me about it.”

I
did feel bad for a moment, “Sorry bro, I didn’t know if you’d be up to doing
this, I figured it would be better coming from Roxie then me, besides we’re
still going to gather supplies from her house.”