Dead No More (18 page)

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Tuesday, September 30, 3:00 a.m.

L
ILY
WOKE
SUDDENLY
,
instincts on high alert. Something was wrong. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand beside her bed. It was black. The whole loft was dark, the shadows impenetrable. She slowed her breathing and focused her eyes, finally making out a lone silhouette in the corner. Her heart lodged in her throat.

A man sat in a chair, one leg propped on the other. Panic gripped her throat.
Was it Rowland?
She reached behind the nightstand, fingers hunting.

“Searching for this?” a familiar voice asked mockingly as the man held up her backup .32 and let it drop to the floor.

Jackson
.

How had he gotten into her place? How had he gotten past Dakota? She rummaged behind her headboard next. Nothing. Damn it. How had he been within a breath of her without her knowing? Fear prickled her skin. How long had he been in her bedroom?

Watching.

Jackson laughed, the sound deep and dark. “I would’ve hoped you’d come up with some more creative hiding places for your firearms, Lily. Or, at the very least, different places than when we were together.”

He shifted his weight. She tensed, but didn’t have time to react before he sprang and pinned her underneath his bulk. She struggled against him.

“Hold still, damn it.” He restrained her by the shoulders.

Like hell she’d hold still. She tugged an arm free, grasped for the drawer and searched for her other gun. Her heart sank.

It was missing, too.

Her mind raced. Her fingers landed on the lamp. She yanked hard. It connected with the side of Jackson’s head with a sickening crack. He swayed and lost his hold. She kicked and clambered out from under him.

Scrambling out of bed, she fell and hit her head against the corner of the dresser. Stars exploded behind her eyes. Blood began to trickle down her face. She wiped it away with one hand and reached under her mattress with the other, pulling out the tiny .22. It wasn’t much, but it could still do some damage.

She climbed to her feet and pointed the barrel at Jackson’s chest. Lily blinked hard, pushed the pain back, focused. “Where’s my dog?”

He moaned and shook his head. “Relax. Dakota is fine. He’s sleeping, but fine.”

“You drugged my dog?”

“Our dog, Lily. I drugged
our
dog.” He glanced at her weapon and grinned. What was so funny? She had a gun pointed at him
.
“I see you sleep armed.”

“Better than what I used to sleep with.” She cocked the hammer. “What are you doing in my home?”

“I told you to let me go.”

“And I told you hell would freeze before I did that.”

“I see some things have changed. Shame, really. The panties are cute.” He motioned toward her with the gun in his right hand. “Sleeping in the nude was definitely better.”

Why was he toying with her? Had he lost his mind? Maybe that was why he’d gone over to the dark side and betrayed her, their country.
Maybe
. “What are you doing in my city, Jackson?”

He lunged. Lily sidestepped, rolled and faced him.

“Nice.” With a sharp flick, his foot connected with her ankle and her knees buckled. He flung her to the floor. A cry escaped Lily’s lips as she hit the wooden surface.

“But not fast enough.” Jackson knelt beside her. “I’m not in your city. I’m a ghost, Lily. You should have let things lie and stayed out of my files.”

“What are you talking about?” She frowned. “What files?”

“I told you to forget about me. So imagine my surprise when I realized someone has been snooping into my past, searching for things better left alone.”

Lily froze. She hadn’t pulled his jacket—Marcus and Evelyn had requested it.
Damn it.
“If you so much as—”

“I know all about your little team.”

Every muscle in her body tensed at his not-so-veiled threat. Her pulse thundered in her ears as a primal urge to protect her own surged through her. She could deal with Jackson coming after her, making her life a living hell. She could not, would not, let him lay so much as a finger on the Morettis.

Any of them.

She shoved her open palm up and connected with his face. Blood spurted over both of them. He stumbled two steps back and reached for his broken nose.

She pushed to her feet, scooped up the .22 and scrambled out of his reach. “You touch them—”

“Damn it, Lily.” He glared at her. “You need to leave.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have forty-eight hours to get out of Omaha, or I
will
kill you.” He wiped the back of his hand across his face, spreading the crimson stain.

“I’m not leaving. This is my city. My home. You already pushed me away from one thing I loved. I won’t let you do it again.”

“Forty-eight hours, Lily. I’m not kidding.”

She cocked the hammer back on her .22. “Neither am I.”

He held his nose and glared at her over his clasped hand.

The nightmarish case that started this train wreck of her current reality flooded her senses. Her hand shook.

He took a step toward her.

She pulled the trigger.

The bullet grazed his shoulder and lodged in the wall behind him. He grabbed his arm, staring at her for a brief moment in astonishment. But he quickly recovered, tackling her to the floor and pinning her beneath his body.

Lily bucked against him. “Get off me.”

He wrestled with her, grabbing her arms and yanking them above her head. “I gave you the option to join me.”

“I wouldn’t join you if you were the last man on the planet. I’m not a traitor.”

He leaned his face close to hers. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, Lily.”

“Don’t I, though?”

“No, you don’t. Forty-eight hours. I want you gone.”

He clasped his hand over her throat. Lily knew he was going for her artery.
Again
. She knew it and tore at his arms, unwilling to let it end this way.

“I won’t—”

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Tuesday, September 30, 3:45 a.m.

D
EREK
ANSWERED
ON
the second ring.

“I need you.” Lily’s voice came through the line, scared and weak.

He bolted from his bed.
Lily.
Damn it. They’d gone round and round last night until he’d just given up. He
knew
he shouldn’t have left her alone
.

Sliding into his jeans, he tugged on his T-shirt and darted to the door, his heart hammering in his chest. He’d never forgive himself if anything happened to her.
Please don’t let anything happen to her.
“Don’t hang up. Stay on the line, Lil. I’m coming.”

“Please...”

He ran.

“Talk to me, Lil!”

Silence greeted him on the other end.
Shit
. He picked up the pace, rounded the corner and raced across the street.

He pulled his gun, hugged it to his side and burst into the lobby. He sailed past the graveyard shift doorman and took the stairwell. He wasn’t about to wait for the elevator. Not when he didn’t know what would greet him.

Not when Lily needed him now.

Derek stopped at the exit, pressed himself to the wall and slowly pushed the door open. Clearing the penthouse lobby, he made his way to her front door. Gingerly, he reached out and checked the latch.

It was closed tight.

He frowned, keyed in the code, grateful he’d talked it out of her on day one, and eased into the room. Darkness covered the loft. He tucked himself into the shadows.

“Lil.”

Silence thundered in his ears. Where was she?

Derek stumbled over a mass. He crouched
,
reached out his hand and found fur.
Dakota
. Derek held his hand in front of the dog’s nose and breathed a sigh of relief as a warm, shallow breath hit his palm.

The cold click of a hammer being cocked exploded in the silence. “Move, and I’ll blow your head off.”

“Wow.” Derek raised his hands. “Lily, easy. It’s Derek.”

His eyes adjusted to the dimness. Lily stood in the middle of the living room. Her hands shook.

“Easy, babycakes. It’s just me.”

“You came.” She dropped the gun and collapsed to her knees.

Derek holstered his gun and moved to her, scooping Lily into his arms and cradling her to his chest. “What the hell happened?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held tight. “Jackson.”

Derek’s blood turned to ice. Rogue agent or not—Derek was going to track him down and take him out. Permanently.

“Talk to me, Lil.” Derek moved to the sofa, set her down and knelt in front of her. “Walk me through what happened.”

“I don’t know what happened.”

The vacant look descending across her face slashed at Derek. He took a deep breath and waited for Lily to continue.

“I woke up, and he was in my room.” She lifted haunted eyes to his face and his heart nearly broke in two. “How could he get in without me knowing?”

Derek recognized the self-doubt in her tone and could only imagine the mental beating she was giving herself. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Her hands shook. She knotted them together in her lap.

Don’t lose that fight.

“I didn’t
do
anything.” Her voice rose an octave. “I haven’t
done
anything.”

Derek laid his hands over hers. He might as well have touched icicles. “Lil.”

“He gave me forty-eight hours to get out of the city. Jackson told me he’d kill me and my team if I wasn’t gone in forty-eight hours.” Her chin quivered. “Derek, he knows about Marcus and Evelyn.”

Her eyes clouded over. Derek pulled her into his lap and cradled her close.

“If Jackson knows about them, there’s no telling what he knows about you. I can’t let Jackson hurt any of you. If something happened, I could never forgive myself.” The last word ended in a tiny sob.

The soft sound ripped into Derek. He wrapped his arms carefully around her and tucked her close to his side as she clung to him.

Derek had wanted Lily in his arms from the moment he’d set eyes on her. But not like this. Not when she was shaken to her core by her asshole of an ex-fiancé. Derek closed his eyes and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

“I’ve got you, babycakes.”

“He was in my house, Derek.” She buried her face into the crook of his shoulder. Her tears saturated his shirt.

“I’m here now.” Derek tightened his hold. “You’re safe.”

She didn’t respond, just squeezed his neck harder. “I know I should’ve called Ben or George, but—”

“No, you called the right person.” He gently tilted her chin up, made her look at him. “Lil, you called the right person.”

She glanced down, and her eyes widened. “Your shirt...”

“It’s nothing.” Derek stood, scooped Lily into his arms and brought her into the bathroom, gently setting her down on the countertop. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Then we can figure out our next steps.”

He moved to touch her arm, waiting to see how she’d respond. She looked up at him and his heart bucked in his chest at the trust radiating in her hazel eyes. Slowly he pulled the soft tank up and over her head, dumping it on the floor. She made no move to cover herself, and Derek couldn’t help but stare. The lacy white bra, now marred with crimson stains, attacked his self-control more than seeing her naked would have. It was all he could do to resist the urge to reach out and touch her soft warm skin.

“Lil—”

“I can take it from here,” Lily said, a tired smile tugging at her lips.

His heart constricted. He didn’t know how much more pain—emotional or physical—she could take. Most people would’ve already crawled into themselves and never returned.
Don’t give up, Lil.

“Right. Though, you know, I wouldn’t mind helping—”

A tiny laugh escaped her, and then she cringed. Derek wanted to kick himself. He’d meant it to lighten the moment, not cause her more pain.

“Shit. Sorry. If you need anything, I’ll be right outside.”

He left the bathroom and pulled the door closed behind him. She may have shut him down the other day, but when it mattered most, she’d called
him
—not Ben, not George. That had to mean something, right?

He wasn’t sure how she felt about him. But Derek loved that gorgeous, stubborn woman, and he wasn’t about to throw in the towel on them yet.

A loud
thump
shattered the quiet room, and Lily yelped. Derek burst into the bathroom, looking around for her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just got a little light-headed.” Her voice came from inside the shower. He hadn’t even realized that she’d turned on the water, so lost had he been in the newfound revelation of the depth of his feelings for her.

He stepped to just outside the shower door. Lily needed to know she could trust him, that he was safe. That she could rely on him. Derek turned his back on her mist-shrouded form, crossed his arms and waited.

“Maybe a shower isn’t the best idea,” he called over his shoulder. “If you’re trying to look pretty for me, I’ve seen you covered in blood before.”

A small, soft laugh wafted up with the steam. “I’m completely—”

Derek glanced into the foggy mirror just as she swayed, then collapsed.

Shit.
He yanked the shower door open. She was lying on her side. He grabbed a towel and moved to turn the water off. Then he froze at the sight of the angry purple streaks crisscrossing her back.

“What the hell?”

At first, she tried to cover herself, humiliation burning in her eyes.
Why was she acting like she’d done something wrong?
But then she pushed herself up, back toward him. Bile rose in his throat.
No wonder she always chose those high-backed dresses.
There wasn’t an inch of unmarred skin left.

His blood boiled. The marks looked fairly fresh—no way they’d come from an abusive father. So who the hell had tortured her?

Lily’s head hung low, and her brown hair was plastered to the side of her face. She folded her arms around herself as she turned around. “It looks worse than it feels.”

Derek finally turned the water off and stepped into the shower with her. Wrapping Lily in a towel, he lifted her into his arms. She leaned into him, didn’t make a sound.

He gently set her down and leaned her against the bathroom countertop.

“Who did this to you?”

She shook her head and looked down.

“Lily.” Derek tipped her chin up. “Who did this to you?”

She pressed her lips together, and then sighed in defeat. “It was a parting gift from Jackson.”

That wasn’t in her file.
“I don’t understand.”

“He threw me out a window,” she said softly. “The glass, the fall...they’re a bitch of a combo.”

“He threw you out—” Derek choked on his disbelief. What the fuck was going on here? There was no doubt in his mind now that Jackson had gone rogue. You didn’t throw the woman you love out of a window, no matter what cover story you were trying to keep. Derek’s head spun. Too many vital pieces of intel had been left out of her file.

But on whose orders?

She frowned.
“You didn’t know?”

“No.” His tone was murderous.

“Our last mission didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped. Jackson asked me to join him in his little treacherous escapade. I said no.” She shrugged, then winced at the movement. “He didn’t like my answer, so he answered in kind.”

Derek grappled for words, but came up empty. How could he even respond to something like that?

“I can still see his eyes when he let me go. I’ve witnessed some screwed-up things out in the field. But I’ve never seen such darkness before. Not like that. It was as if he wasn’t there, as if he didn’t see me.” She looked up with haunted eyes. “He didn’t see me.”

The world beneath Derek gave way.

I see you.

And he wasn’t going to let her go. Not now. Not ever. He could not, would not, live his life without this woman. Somehow he’d get through her stubbornness.

“My God, Lily.” Derek ran his hands over his face, feeling powerless. “I had no idea.”

“Why would you? It was classified. Everything about that mission was classified. No one could know that their prize agent, their golden boy, had turned. Why the hell do you think I walked?” She pushed away from the sink. “I don’t want to go round and round about something I can’t change. It happened. Let’s move on.”

Derek took a step back and gave Lily space. He’d never had such conflicting emotions at war within himself. He wanted to take Lily in his arms and never let her go, and wanted to find Jackson and rip his throat out.

All at the same time.

She opened the cabinet door and pulled out the first-aid kit. A sad smile flickered at her lips. “Help me get cleaned up so we can track this bastard down.”

Pride coursed through Derek’s veins. He’d never known a more dedicated, steadfast and incredible person. Ever. This woman never ceased to amaze him.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Lily leaned into the mirror and examined the bandages holding her latest gash together. Derek’s throat tightened. Even with the bruising, she was stunning. The clean white towel hitched up on her thighs. His blood pounded in his ears.
Focus, man.

“I look like Frankenstein’s bride.”

“No, you don’t,” he said, his words thick. “You’re beautiful.”

She slowly glanced up, catching his eyes in the mirror’s reflection.

Derek didn’t move. Didn’t blink. His mouth went dry. There was something in her eyes that hadn’t been there before.

What are you thinking, babycakes?

Without a word, she turned and stepped toward him. His stomach tightened. She put her hand against his jaw. Her warm touch sent tremors down his body.

Then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. Light and cautious at first, then more demanding. He froze for only a moment, then picked her up, set her down on the countertop and closed the distance between their two bodies. Every inch of his skin was on fire. She showered his face with soft kisses and pulled at his shirt.

Marcus’s voice—
by the books, man
—swirled in his head.

“Wait.” Derek grabbed her wrists and held her tight. He wanted her. Now. But... “Where’d this one-eighty come from? You shut the door on me, remember?”

“You scared the shit out of me.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

“Why did you, then?”

Her face fell. Derek wanted to stop talking and pull her back into his arms, but he had to know.

“Derek, the last man I loved tried to kill me.” Lily shook her head.

Did she just say “love”?

Tears brimmed in her eyes. “I never expected to love someone again, and then you dropped into my life.”

Holy shit. She did say “love.”

His brother’s cautionary words floated through his mind. Screw the book. Derek tipped her chin up and stared into the endless depths of her eyes. Tears glistened, then overflowed down her cheeks. He gently brushed them away with his thumbs.

“I’m not Jackson.”

She caught his gaze and held it. Derek’s world all but stopped. He’d never seen such transparency, such rare emotion, such raw trust, in his entire life.

Derek knew in that moment that he’d do anything for this woman. He loved her too much to ever cause her pain.

“I’m not Jackson,” Derek said again, his voice husky.

“I know,” Lily said, pressing her lips to his.