Authors: Barry Davis
"
Brother
Weldon
, I would think you are above such gossip.
"
"
Brother Rutherford, Mrs. Jones is still trying to clean that gossip off her good couch.
"
Brother Meeks attempted a comeback: "
I can explain that. You see I...
"
"
Henry, save it. We need to settle this. Anybody got some bones?
" asked Weldon.
"
I do
," replied
Rutherford
.
"
Okay, let's go to the back. First one to roll seven then eleven wins.
"
The
deacons
head
ed
toward the back room.
Back
outside
, Wiley, Jan and Elias wade
d
through the well wishers and onlookers to enter the church.
"
Give
'
em hell on T
uesday reverend!
"
"
S
tomp that
R
epublican
Ben
!
"
"
Run W
iley run!
R
un
W
iley run!
"
As the group
neared the heavy front doors of
the church, a young couple
approached
Wiley. Wiley and his group stop
ped
.
"
Reverend Wiley, good morning
," the young lady said. "
I'd like to introduce you to my
fi
ancé
, Jocquim.
"
The young man extended
his hand to the
r
everend.
Wiley looked at the man then found a point far away and stared at that. Elias stepped forward. "
Son, the
r
everend doesn't shake anyone's hand who's not a member. You can sign up today. Ask for the installment plan.
"
The young man placed
his hand in his pocket.
"R
everend Wiley, we plan to marry next week. Do you have any advice for us?
"
Wiley st
ood
there motionless for a second
, eyes still
fixed
on infinity
.
Suddenly he bent down
to the young woman's level.
Jan and Elias held their breath – the last thing they needed was for Wiley to bite off the bride-to-be's head
on the church steps
.
"
Ride big daddy! That's the way baby!
" He grunted loudly and pantomimed sexual intercourse with his hips.
The young woman stepped back, hand covering her mouth in shock.
Wiley halt
ed
his demonstration, walked into the church.
In his wake was the woman, her fiancée and several shocked parishioners. The
young woman
's features held a
befuddled look while her
fiancée
smiled
from ear to ear.
"
Now that's my kind of
pastor
!
" he shouted as Wiley disappeared inside the church.
Wiley, Jan and Elias
were finally inside
.
"
I'll go speak with the deacons
," said Elias. He walked off, an opportunity for the c
hurch ladies
to
swoop in for the kill. Jan ke
pt
a tight hold of
Wiley's
arm as the women descend
ed
upon them.
A woman in a bright purple hat spoke first. "
Reverend Wiley, I was so proud of you on the television the other day.
"
A woman in white – one of the nurses charged with caring for those overcome by the spirit – spoke next. "
Reverend Wiley, I am so proud of you
every day
.
"
The first woman, realizing her mistake, jumped back in. "
Reverend Wiley, I didn't mean to
say I'm not proud of you
every
day
.
"
Both women look
ed
at Wiley. Wiley
stared
ahead
silently
.
"
Look what you've done,
" said purple hat, "
now he won't talk to either one of us.
"
"Ladies, I think Reverend Wiley needs to take his seat
,
"
said Jan.
"I'll take him!" they both shouted.
"No, thank you," Jan said. "I know the way."
"And who do you think you are, young lady?" asked the woman in white.
"Yeah, where's Mrs. Wiley?" added purple hat.
Jan stepped in front of the two women. "She's where I left her after I kicked her ass. Now, get outta my way," she whispered.
"Amen," said Wiley.
The ladies
realized that they had been dismissed
.
"It was all your fault," said the nurse, "
always coming on to that man.
"
"
Coming on? How dare you? I wouldn't do anything like that.
"
"
Be quiet Edna. You
've
reached in
side
more
men's underwear
in your fifty years
than
a
Times Square
fagot
.
"
Jan
guided
Wiley toward the front of the church.
"
Hopefully, no one else will bother you
," she said.
At that moment s
everal
children
approach
ed
Reverend
Wiley.
"
Good morning
R
everend Wiley
," they said in unison.
One of the children,
a snot
nosed light skinned boy, spoke. "
Reverend Wiley, can you explain to me why God will send me to hell for saying bad words?
"
"
And why the Bible has all these words nobody can understand?
" asked a girl child, dressed in a burgundy gown that swept the floor.
"
And why God don't let the Sun shine in the hood?
" asked another boy, this one perhaps the older brother of the snot nosed kid.
"
Reverend Wiley, what does fornication mean?
" asked a devilish looking girl of perhaps ten. Her parents didn't bother to dress her for church – she wore a faded t-shirt and jeans.
Jan wave
d
the children away.
"
Children, Reverend Wiley is very tired. He'll answer your questions later.
"
"
Are you okay, Reverend Wiley?
" asked the child in the long gown.
"
He'll be fine, honey
," Jan said.
"
I don't know, I saw somebody on CSI last night what looked just like him.
" This was the older boy.
God only knows what he was doing watching a show with such violence
, thought Jan.
"
Ain't nobody on CSI that look like the Reverend
," his younger brother said.
"
Yea there was, he was
laid out
under a white sheet.
"
"
You ain't seen that
!
"
"
Did too!
"
"
Did not!
"
Jan fast walked Wiley past what soon would become fisticuffs.
"
Excuse us, kids. Reverend Wiley needs to take his seat.
"
"
Bye, Reverend Wiley!
" the children
shouted
in unison.
Deacon Rutherford won the craps game and
the privilege to lead
the service. Elias, Jan and Wiley
we
re seated
in the front pew.
"
And I'd like to thank Reverend Wiley for personally calling me to this service. I am truly humble in the eyes of God and in the eyes of our beloved Reverend Wiley. Just look at him! Look at him, I said! Such a good man
!
Such a man of God has never crossed our threshold before.
"
The audience applaud
ed
.
"
Look at that man. A pillar of strength. A living example of the power of Jesus.
"
Elias whispered in
Jan's ear.
"
He got that half right. We do owe him to the power of a
man from the
Holy Land
.
"
"
A herald of the resurrection of our savior.
He is symbolic of all that is good and right in the black church. Reverend Wiley, I say on behalf of you
r
church
family
, we all wish you God speed on Tuesday. May He bless you with another term. Amen.
"
The audience
stood and
applaud
ed
.
Jan stood and playfully yanked Wiley to his feet.
The applause die
d
as bug eyed Wiley scanned the congregation.
Finally, he said, "
God ain't got nothing to do with it!
"
A gasp, then silence.
"
Uh,
okay. Thank you Reverend Wiley,"
Rutherford
said from the pulpit.
The man's been into his gin early today.
Jan tug
ged
on Wiley's jacket. Finally, he
sat
. The audience t
ook
their seats
, some
still murmuring.
"
And with those, um, inspirational words from
our
p
astor
, we'll have our liturgical dancers. Today they will perform a piece choreographed by Sister Riley. Sister Pace will read Psalm 14. Sister Pace
?"
Sister Pace walk
ed
up to the podium on the floor
, cracked open her Bible
.
"
The Lord looks down from Heaven on the sons of men.
"
A half dozen dancers stream
ed
into the church as the keyboardist play
ed
a soft melody. The dancers, carrying colorful scarves,
we
re all ages, shapes and sizes.
The sister continued her narration. "T
o see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. All have turned aside...
"
The dancers
hid
their faces.
"
... all have become corrupt. Is there no one who has done good? Not even one?
"
The dancers pantomime
d
someone looking out.
At this,
Wiley stood
. Jan pull
ed
on his sleeve but he w
ould not
sit down.
Shit.
The dancers pause
d for a moment, unsure,
and then
continue
d
their dance.
"
Will evildoers never learn - those who devour my people...
"
Wiley raise
d
both hands in the air. The oldest dancer
shimmied
over to
him
.
"
...as men eat bread...
"
The old woman t
ook
Wiley's hands.
As
Wiley
move
d
to the rhythm
t
he crowd applaud
ed and laughed
.