Dead Even (3 page)

It had taken her six more months to work up the courage to actually go out on a date, and even then she might not have said yes, were it not for the fact that Gerald Alden taught seventh grade history at William's, and she had known him for over a year.

Now, here she was all set to marry him in three weeks. Gerald. So proper. So correct. What would his reaction be to this news? Would he believe she could identify this man solely by his voice? Did she, herself, believe it?

Suddenly, Audra realized what she must do. “All right.” She spoke the words aloud slowly, succinctly, aware that she sounded like someone beginning to spin out of control and trying to hang on to some vestige of sanity. “First I have to go to the radio station and see if they have a tape of the program. I'll listen to it again, to be certain.” She loosened her death grip on the steering wheel, and was gratified to notice the shaking in her hands had subsided somewhat.

She checked her watch, and saw she just had time to make it to her class. She had to go. It was too late to get a sub, and the children would be disappointed if their field trip was cancelled. Anyway, she needed time to think. She needed to talk with Gerald. Damnit. She needed a drink.

Chapter TWO

Gerald paced back and forth across the worn carpet in Audra's small apartment, then sat back down across from her at the dinette.

He was, though he would have vehemently denied it, a rather nondescript man—five eleven, thinning brown hair, and a waist line that even at thirty years of age was already beginning to thicken.

The only child of Carlton and Hazel Alden, he had led a pampered and spoiled life. His father had made a good living for them as a stockbroker, urged on by the relentless Hazel, and Gerald had grown accustomed to the better things in life. That he could never hope to attain great material success on a teacher's salary, did not bother him. He was certain his next step up the ladder was the job at William's. And he had plans—starting with his elaborate wedding. He would meet all the right people—the ones who knew about investment portfolios and getting in on the ground floor. It wouldn't take him long, once he was part of the
in
group, to really
be somebody!

“But how can you possibly be certain this is the same man, Audra? You have told me a dozen times that you remember virtually nothing of that night—not even the man's face. And now, ten years later, you hear some voice on the radio and you're ready to have the man arrested?” Gerald stopped talking and shook his head wearily. “Audra—my dear. Listen to me. You can't make accusations like that out of thin air.”

“Out of thin air?” Audra responded, indignation giving way to a rare show of anger. “How dare you question me about this? Gerald, the only thing that I have ever been able to remember about that night was the man's voice.”

Gerald reached across the table and took Audra's small hands in his own, surprised by the note of defiance in her voice. He didn't like it. That was the first thing that had attracted him to her—she never flapped her jaws at him the way his mother had always done to his father. Well, he wasn't his father. No woman was going to take over
his
life. He'd had a belly full of
that,
growing up! Ironically, it never entered his mind, that his mother already controlled his life, just as surely as she did his father's.

“Listen to me, Audra,” he said sternly. “That isn't enough. Do you really think the police are going to take this seriously? It has been ten years. There's probably a statute of limitations, anyway.”

Tears burned in Audra's eyes. “And so just what the hell do you expect me to do? Forget about it? He raped me. He did his best to kill me. And I'm supposed to just forget it ever happened? I think I should at least tell the police what I know.”

“But that's just it, Audra. You don't
know
anything,” Gerald tried to reason with her. “All you are going to do is open yourself up to a lot of heartache, a lot of old, horrible nightmares. I don't believe you're strong enough to go through it all again. You
still
occasionally wake up screaming. What's going to happen when it's all dredged up anew? And for what? There isn't a chance in ten million that the voice you heard on the radio is the voice of the man who attacked you.”

Audra looked down at her hands, suddenly uncertain. “Do you really think so? It—he—sounded so much the way I've always remembered. That raspy voice. That cold, raspy voice.”

Gerald smiled, relieved that Audra was beginning to realize how foolish this whole matter was. He hadn't made a mistake picking her for his bride, even if she were a little on the plain side. If that's what it took to get a nice obedient wife, then he could live with that.

His mother was right about one thing, though. Audra
did
look like she got her clothing from the Salvation Army. Well, after they were married maybe his mother could take her in hand, teach her a thing or two. He planned to go places in this town. Wouldn't do to have a dowdy-looking wife at his side.

He pushed back from the table and walked around to her, gathering her to him. “Of course I'm right. You've just been under a lot of strain lately, what with the wedding and everything. There are a lot of important people invited, and we need to be on our toes, make the right impression. Now I want you to put this incident out of your mind.”

It was the wrong thing to have said to her. Audra pulled away from him, eyes flashing. “Why the hell is it that the most terrifying moments of my life, are referred to as
incidents?
And just why should I put it out of my mind, Gerald? The least I can do, is go to the radio station and see if they have a tape of the show. We could listen to it together, and maybe I would realize it wasn't the same voice—or maybe not. But I have to try. I've damn well got to try! Can't you see that?”

Gerald threw up his arms in mock surrender, hating this aggressive side to his intended. “Okay. Okay. It isn't necessary to swear at me, dear. I, personally, think it is a waste of time, but if it will put your mind at ease, we'll do it. Satisfied?”

Audra stared at him, silent. God, she hated it when he used that condescending tone of voice with her. And he had an annoying habit of always thinking he was right, of not really listening to her or taking her views seriously. Usually, she raised no objection to his “take control” attitude—and even counted on it most times. Still, it would be nice to be considered an equal, just once.

Gerald crossed her tiny kitchen and picked up the telephone book. “I'll call the station now and see if we can get a tape of the broadcast. I won't tell them why we need it, though. No sense making waves if we don't have to.”

Audra crossed to the cupboard and removed a bottle of vodka. “Do you want a drink?” she mouthed the words.

Gerald shook his head, frowning at her. That was something else he would have to put a stop to. It seemed to him his bride-to-be was hitting the sauce a little more than she should. Every day she seemed to be getting a little more like that crazy old woman she thought walked on water.

Audra removed a can of frozen orange juice from the freezer, scooped out a spoonful, and put it in a large tumbler. She splashed in a little vodka, then finished by filling the glass with Sprite and ice. She could almost feel her fiancé's disapproving eyes boring into her back. Slowly, meticulously, she stirred the mixture, aware that she had waited all day for this moment.

In the background, she could hear Gerald's voice—pleasant, felicitous, and cordial as always—as he visited with someone at the radio station. She was tuning out his words, concentrating instead on her drink. It occurred to her that she didn't even like the taste of alcohol. The only way she could stand it was to disguise it with other ingredients. Still, it helped her get through the nights.

It had started innocently enough when the relationship between her and Gerald had reached the point of intimacy. She wanted to make love with him, but the old fears came rushing back when he touched her. Then one night they had gotten a bottle of champagne to celebrate Gerald's completion of requirements for an administrative position. The bubbly liquid had relaxed her—made her feel warm, and receptive. They had made love that night, and gradually over the following months, Audra had turned more and more to the magic elixir that helped her get through those moments. Fortunately, Gerald's sexual appetite was not terribly demanding, and they had settled into a routine that seemed to satisfy them both. If Gerald felt cheated in some way by her lack of ardor in the bedroom, he never let her know. Sometimes Audra wondered guiltily if it was his lack of skill that left her feeling so empty after lovemaking, but she pushed the thought away whenever it surfaced.

“We'll have to go in to the station to hear the tape,” Gerald said, as he replaced the phone in the cradle. “I told them we were doing a project for school, and needed to listen to the speech patterns of the various callers. They said we could come in at any time during office hours.”

Audra walked over and put her arm around her fiancé's waist, conflicting emotions stabbing through her—relief that he was going to accompany her, and annoyance that he felt the need for subterfuge. “Thank you, Gerald. This is just something I have to do. I have to know.”

He patted her shoulder solicitously. “I know. I know. Tomorrow is Saturday and they're open until noon. We'll go in first thing in the morning.” He would wait until then to convince her this notion was crazy. He moved away from her and began gathering up his school papers, replacing them neatly in his briefcase. “I'd better be going now. I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon with the board of directors, and I have some material I need to go over.”

Audra looked at him in surprise. “Gerald, I'm so sorry. I forgot all about your meeting. Are you certain you have the time to go with me tomorrow? I know how important this is to you. I wouldn't want to do anything to harm your chances.”

He walked over and removed his gray pinstriped suit jacket from the back of a chair, thinking as he did so about his mother's habit of always hanging his jacket up for him the minute he entered the door. That was one more thing he would need to tell Audra about.

“It's all right, Audra,” he said, his voice taking on a note of patient suffering. “I've had my presentation ready for two years. I have all the requirements for the principal's job, plus I've taught at William's for six years. I don't think they can pass me over this time.” He stopped talking, then added peevishly. “I should have been given the job two years ago, when Anderson retired. I had more qualifications than any of the other applicants, certainly more than Benson. And now, with my doctorate in school administration, there is no reason I should not be given the job.” He leaned down and gave her a peck on the cheek. “Good night, dear.”

*   *   *

Audra firmly bolted the three locks on her door behind Gerald, torn between a feeling of relief that he was gone, and an equally strong urge to run after him and ask him to stay. She really didn't want to be alone. Not tonight.

The shrill ringing of the telephone in the quiet apartment made her jump. She picked it up on the second ring.

Bess's warm voice filled the airwaves. “Oh, Bess,” Audra blurted. “I'm so glad you called.”

“What's the matter, child? You sound upset. Is anything wrong?” Bess asked quickly.

“Yes—no—I—I—don't know,” Audra stammered. “Something happened today. I—I think I heard the voice of the man who—who raped me. I'm not certain, of course, but I'm pretty sure it was him.”

“Are you alone now, or is Gerald with you?” Bess asked without preamble.

“I'm alone. Gerald just left a few minutes ago.”

Bess's statement was short and to the point. “Make sure your doors are locked, and I'll be there in a few minutes.”

“Could you spend the night?” Audra asked. “I didn't realize I would be this jumpy, or I would have asked Gerald to stay.”

Bess refrained from saying that if Gerald Alden didn't have pea soup for brains, he would have figured
that
out on his own. “Of course. Now you don't worry a thing about it. I'll be there in ten minutes.”

Audra replaced the phone, relief washing over her. She went into the kitchen and prepared a rum and Coke for Bess. She always kept a supply on hand for her. For some reason, Gerald's objections, raised during the first months of their dating, popped into her mind. “Why do you encourage her, Audra? She's just an old ‘rummy' who has latched onto you. You really shouldn't be associating with someone like her. It isn't good for your image at school.”

It was the first time Audra had really stood up to him. She had let him know in no uncertain terms that Bess Truman was a part of her life, and if he could not accept it, then he could be on his way. He had been surprised by her firm stance, and had never said another word against Bess. But he was embarrassed by her, that was plain to see. Audra could only hope that he would come to love Bess as she did.

In a way, she could understand Gerald's feelings. Bess was the same today as she had been seven years ago when she took a frightened young girl under her wing. She still wore the same baggy slacks and men's plaid shirts, she still pulled her straight hair back into a ponytail, and even after all this time, she was still toothless. “Tried store-bought teeth once,” she had explained to Audra, “but they made my mouth break out somethin' awful. Doc said I was allergic to 'em, so that was the end to that.” Audra was charmed by Bess, by her unpretentiousness, but she could see why Gerald might have a hard time feeling comfortable around her.
If he would only try!

She wondered now what Gerald would say when she informed him that she wanted Bess to take her mother's place at the wedding—to be seated last and accept the traditional rose from them. She realized that she needed to introduce Bess to Gerald's parents. Time was running short. They were nice people she supposed, but a little on the stuffy side—at least the mother. Well, Bess could hold her own with them. She didn't have any doubt about that. If there was one thing that Bess could do, it was talk. She would have them laughing over some outrageous story of hers in no time. Everyone liked Bess once they got to know her. Everyone, that is, except her fiancé. But he would in time. She was certain of it.