Dead and Dead Again: Kansas City Quarantine (13 page)

“It’s not a gang, dude. They’re
Stinking zombies. And the police are too busy saving their own asses to worry
about you.”

Zombies. That explains it. Thought
so. Damn, I am high…I am so glad I am high.

“That explains it,” he said calmly.

“That’s it?”

“That is what?”

“I tell you there are Zombies
running around and you just say that explains it?”

“Yup.”

“Don’t you want to know how or
why?”

“Would that change anything?”

“Well, no.”

“Tripper, I saw what they were and
how they acted, and Zombies fits better than what I was trying to tell myself,
so why do we not just get on with it? We were always told this day would come,
even though few believed it. Now it is here. What do we do?”

“Well…I don’t know. I don’t want to
impose, but…”

“I told you a long time ago you are
on the list, Tripper. At first you were on as Calvin’s friend, but you earned
it over time. And your lady friends are two of the best people I have met, so
you are cool in three or four different ways. Which is pretty good for someone
so decidedly uncool.”

“Ouch.” Tripper laughed.

“I have enough supplies for a dozen
for a few months here and more in the mine if we need to get there.”

“Thanks. You’re awesome, man. But I
have to admit I’m a little concerned that they made it to you already. It’s not
like you’re within walking distance of us.”

“I cannot answer that for you, Tripper.
I do not even know what is happening.”

“It started here at the parade.”

“Perhaps they took a bus. How are
the streets there? Can you make it here?”

“Yeah, I think so. We’re stuck here
for now, but me and Sarah have found a nice hiding spot to hole up and make a
few calls and it’s probably the best defended building in all of downtown.”

“I would imagine that would be the
federal building or the IRS.”

“Maybe, but I bet they don’t have
the high ground and efficient shooting arcs we have here.”

“Listen to you, all military-sounding.”

“It’s those military shows you and Gus
make me watch when we’re smoking.”

“You are the one who turns that
garbage on, Tripper, we are the ones who suffer through it; do not dare blame
that on us.”

“Right. Sorry. I always forget
you’re a pacifist. Listen, I gotta make more calls.”

“Make what calls you can while you
can. If, as you say, this is not a localized event, then I would expect the
infrastructures to start breaking down fairly swiftly as panic begins to spread,
if you all have not already shut down the nodes in your area. A million people
using the same cell tower cannot be good for data flow. Try using text. The
data will stay out there and wait for an opening in the network before
initiating, so it is not like an unanswered call. It will still go through
eventually.”

“I know. Hey, Hef, we’ve got a
doctor here with us who has something we need to protect at all costs…when we
find it again, I mean.”

“Is it bigger than a breadbox?”

“What?”

“Is it—”

“—sorry. I wasn’t expecting a joke.
Yes, it’s a suitcase. We need to protect it and the doctor. He’s the only one
who might be able to stop this.”

“Probably the one who started it as
well.”

“I don’t know, maybe. Either way,
we need to keep him safe.”

“I will begin adapting some items
to help with that.”

“Ok, look, I’m gonna call everyone
and tell them to get down there if they can.”

“Who is everyone?” A tenseness in
his voice gave away his concern.

“I know you’re a little skittish
around a lot of people, Festus, but I’m just talking about the gang and a few
family members, ok?”

“It will be easier for me to get
around and make things if you can stay somewhere else first and then bring
everyone in when it is time to go. I might need a helper or two who know their
way around tools, but if you can stay in your current place for a while with
the rest, that would be great.”

“We’ll try that first, but if we
need to, we’re gonna have to come there.”

“Ok, I guess if it is the end of
the world, I can tolerate a few extra bodies around here. I will fire up the
landline and the Ham in case the cell services go down.”

“Thanks, dude.”

“No problem. Make sure you give
them all the numbers.”

“Will do.”

“How is Sarah coping with these new
circumstances?”

“She’s holding together. A bit
freaked out, but all that self-defense crap and target lessons she was taking
has paid off in spades.”

“I believe that. If it was anything
like the situation I ran into here, well, you really have to stay on your
toes.”

“Yeah. I’m glad I was half-wasted
when it all started. I bashed a half a dozen with my car and shot a bunch in
the head. It was disgusting, man. Brains and goo flying everywhere. But it was
real; not like the movies at all.”

“I did not know you even owned a
gun.”

“I don’t. Stole some M-16s from the
police station.”

“That is awesome. I am not
condoning stealing guns from the police, you understand. I am just saying that
under the circumstances, that is good thinking. Do you actually know how to use
it?”

“Sarah taught me a long time ago
how to fire a bunch of different weapons. Never thought I’d be killing real
people, though.”

“Yes. Not what I expected it to be.
And I am not sure how I feel about it yet.”

“I think I’d still be puking if I
weren’t so numb,” Trip admitted quietly.

“I know what you mean. I will have
to spend a half-hour scrubbing the blood out of my leathers. I was just sitting
here with El Supremo trying to figure out how to explain this to the police. There
is no need for that now, if what you are saying is true.”

“It is.”

“How soon can you get here? I have
to know to look for you so I can open the doors. With those things out here, I
do not want to have anything open for too long.”

“We’re hiding right now and trying
to make a few calls. My car is wasted. Scooter will be coming to get us from the
Ren Fest. I’ll have to call you and touch base. I just wanted to make sure we
can come. We’re probably going to need to go out and find people and bring them
back to a secure location. Can you get us something rigged up for taking on
masses of these things and bringing our friends home?”

“I already have a few things here. And
I have vehicles for you, since you said your car is wrecked. I will finish a
few of the other small projects I have been working on. Maybe I can get them
ready before you get here.”

“Awesome, dude. You rock, man. Hope
to see you soon.”

“I will keep an ear on the radio.”

“Watch your ass.”

“I will be safe within my dungeon. Yours
is the ass hanging out as bait. Be safe.”

“Later, man.”

“Later.”

Both men hung up at the same time.

“Scooter’s on his way to get us?”
Sarah asked with decided skepticism.

“Nope,” Trip replied sharply.
“Can’t reach him. But I didn’t want Hef to worry. Besides, Scooter
is
coming to get us.”

She cocked a dark eyebrow at him
and he raised his hands in innocence.

“Hey, I can’t help it if he doesn’t
know it yet. But he
is
coming.”

“Huzzah!” The watching crowd roared
to the urging of the criers.

Crisp and fresh, the morning breeze
mingled with gentle hints of kettle corn, roasted almonds, smoked turkey legs and
the scents of a hundred colognes and perfumes. With a resounding crash, the two
great armored opponents came thundering together at full gallop, lances
shattering on shields as their mighty steeds stumbled on the muddy pitch,
nearly losing their balance, powerful legs recovering gracefully. Would that
the combatants astride these epic beasts were as graceful.

“Huzzah!” the crowd roared again as
the two combatants careened into each other.

For the third time the dueling
warriors collided and three was not a charm, as neither man kept his balance. Both
fell unceremoniously into the sloshy mud with loud splats that drew another
roar of appreciation from the crowd. Six squires in chain mail and the colors
of their masters rushed out to help their respective lords stand and pull
swords from scabbards. The jousting finished, they would now set-to with blade
and the last one standing would win the hand of the fair maiden. The lady in
question wore a pink veil and sat impatiently beside the King and Queen,
awaiting her fate, which would forever after be tied to whichever of her
suitors won this competition…sort of. It wasn’t real. This wasn’t the first
time Athena had been to a Renaissance Festival, but it was the first time she
had come with a guy who took it so seriously. She just wanted to walk around and
look at all of the arts and crafts, but he wanted to stop and watch every show.

“C’mon, Scooter. I wanna go.”

“Not now. This is the best part.”

“It’s just a couple of failing
actors in armor beating on each other with sticks.”

“Your pardon, M’Lady, but yon
combatants be noble knights engaged in feats of honor, jousting for the hand of
a fair maiden in the name of the King and Queen. And those be not sticks, they
be lances.”

“You sound like a pirate, not a
Renaissance man.”

“Aaagh, M’Lady’s words have pierced
mine chest as an arrow pierceth the hunted hare, quickly and without mercy. Oh
powers that be, why hast thou stricken me with such a faithless and tiresome
wench?”

“Oh my god. Trip and Boomer weren’t
kidding. You really get hard for this make-believe fantasy crap, don’t you?”

“That’s redundant, babe.”

“What is?”

“Fantasy
is
make-believe. So
to call it make-believe and then Fantasy crap is repeating yourself. You
basically said it’s make-believe make-believe.”

One dark eyebrow arched over an eye
as black as her mood was likely to become if he continued this conversation.

“Which would be nothing new in your
case, I guess,” he jabbed with a smile and looked away as if that were the end
of it. But of course, it wasn’t.

“I think you’re missing the point,”
she snapped archly to emphasize the emotion her eyebrow had apparently failed
to convey.

But Calvin “Scooter” Hobbes was
nothing if not deliberately oblivious to a woman’s emotional ranges.  “No, I
think
you’re
missing the point, Miss Rosenthal. You should love this.
You’re a hopeless romantic.”

“Yes, Romance. Flowers and
chocolate and pretty words and diamonds—”

“—diamonds, yeah, that’s romantic.”

“OK, maybe not. But you think all
this
is romantic? Two guys fighting over ownership of a woman as if she were property?
No, I think I get it alright.”

“That’s not what this is about.
Don’t ruin the romance of it just because the rules of the time were different
than they are now. The maiden is in love with two men. She needs a man and they
need a woman. It’s about love. A love triangle. Two men in love with the same
woman and she can’t make the choice. So she let’s them fight over her and the
winner gets her heart. Two men enter, one man leaves…with her. Sometimes things
weren’t that clear cut, but most of the time it
was
that simple.”

“You don’t know that it was like
that.”

“And you don’t know that it wasn’t.”

“If they were real men, they’d wait
for her to decide.”

“Yeah, waiting for a woman to make
a decision, that’s likely to save some time...” As she arched the other
eyebrow, he changed tactics, but whether this was because his dull senses had
actually detected danger or not is something that will never be known. “Most of
the time the maiden is the one putting the decision up to a joust. And if they
were
real
men, they’d have let her go a long time ago, babe. No need to
fight for a woman who isn’t that into you.”

“You don’t really believe that?”
Her dark eyes widened in surprise.

“I do.”

“But what about all the trouble you
went through to get me?”

“Yeah, sure. Back then. But I’m not
going to fight anyone for your heart now.”

“How can you say that? You wouldn’t
fight to protect me?”

“That’s not the same thing, hon.
I’d kill or die to protect you, but I’m not going to compete with some other
guy over your affections again.”

“Some people would say that’s what
romance is.”

Calvin snorted. “That’s just stupid.
Maybe it is when you’re first getting to know someone.”

“You don’t think people are always
looking around for something better?”  She knew that question was a mistake as
soon as the words escaped her lips, and the flush to his cheeks only served to
enforce that belief.

“Maybe other people are. Maybe you
are. But I’m not. Maybe that’s ok in the beginning of a relationship. But we’ve
been together now for a few years and I show you every day how much I love you.
If that’s not enough…if you still like kicking tires in the new car lot of
romance, you’re welcome to hit the road any time you feel like it and find
another ride. You’ve seen the best I’ve got and if that isn’t good enough, then
we’re both better off thumbing for another ride.”

“Hey, take it easy, Sweetie.” She
put her arms around his shoulders and kissed him soundly. “I love you. I’m not
going anywhere. I didn’t know you’d take it so personally. I’m just kidding.
Nice word play, by the way.”

Calvin stared into her dark,
expressive, almond-shaped eyes. With dark eyebrows  and high, sharp cheekbones
that would have made Nefertiti jealous, Calvin’s knees weakened every time he
touched her perfectly tanned skin. Athena Hannah Rosenthaal epitomized the kind
of hotness that drug-addled rockers wrote ten-minute power-ballads about while
impotently shooting heroin into their veins in a failed effort to fade, even
for a moment, the haunting beauty of her strangely-reflective and hypnotic ebony
eyes—and her beauty was natural enough for none of that to be hyperbole. A
solid ten who thought she was a seven, Scooter believed he was about a
five-and-a-half who she saw as a nine and for some reason she had fallen in
love with him. Always a little more insecure than he liked, sooner or later he usually
apologized.

“Ok. I’m sorry, babe,” he mumbled.

More often sooner rather than
later, really.

“You know I love you, too,” he added
smoothly. “Look, I know this stuff is a drag for you sometimes, but I’m really
happy you at least agreed to come with me this year. I always hope you’ll get
to like these things just as much as I do…as my friends do—”

“—your friends who aren’t here, by
the way,” she pointed out.

“Hey, everybody loves a parade.”

“Except you, apparently.”

“That’s just too many people.”

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but
there are quite a few people here, too.”

“But these are
my
kind of
people.”

“Chiefs fans aren’t your kind of
people?”

“But these people aren’t staring at
me with judging eyes, wondering what I’m doing with you. Here they don’t even
give
me
a second thought.”

“They don’t have time to look over
at you to give you a first thought, much less a second thought. No, they need
all of their attention for my boobs. No less than four guys have walked into
trees because they couldn’t look away from my girls.”

“Hell yeah. That’s why I bought you
that corset and wench outfit.”

“Sure, it’s all about objectifying
the women to—”

“—are you just trying to start a
fight today?”

“Sorry.”

“But you’re sort of right. It’s all
about proper presentation of your fifth finest feature…features, so I can pass
through this place unnoticed…
and
get awesome discounts on anything I
buy. I had some serious shopping to do today.”

“I suspected as much. That guy cut
forty percent off of your axes without ever looking up.”

“I noticed you didn’t do much to
cover them…even leaned over a few times to adjust your leggings, which weren’t
out of place at all from what I could see.”

“Hey, they’re not that big. It’s
really rare for me to get the boob stares. You really know how to present
them.”

“I know what I like; just picked
the outfit I like the best.”

“Well, you did a good job. You’ve
got decent fashion sense. And you know I’ll do anything for you. Besides, you also
know I never let a coupon go to waste.”

“Which is rare in itself for a
spoiled little rich girl.”

“Hey!” she punched him on the arm,
then changed the subject. “Do you really have a list of my—”

“—wit; intelligence; eyes; smile;
ass; boobs; nose; boobs; legs and ears. That’s my top ten. I can give you
sub-categories for every main selection if you wish.”

“You listed my boobs twice,” she
noted.

“I really like your boobs,” he
explained. “Hey, now that I think on it, do you think I should maybe just move
them up the list?”

Athena rolled her eyes.

“Kidding. I don’t really know why
you put up with me, but I appreciate it, my little wench. I really do,” he
leaned over took her into a tight embrace and kissed her fondly and thoroughly
as she ran her fingers through his longer-than-usual dishwater blonde hair.

For herself, Athena had no doubt he
was some kind of alien species hiding on Earth because whenever they kissed, it
seemed as if he had a half dozen extra limbs. One hand would softly massage her
neck, one lightly fingering her spine while another ran gentle fingers through
her hair and somehow others tickled her sides, belly and forearms all the while
two more supported her entire body as her knees inevitably buckled.

“You’d better appreciate me, M’lord,”
she murmured and his kisses intensified at her use of the lingo. Little fingers
of lightning danced up and down her spine and then happily skipped off to other
body parts to explode in little balls of joy. Unlike her poor deluded
boyfriend, Athena rarely asked herself why she put up with him or why she
turned down every other guy who tried to steal her away from someone who was
such an obvious geek in their eyes; she knew.

Almost every time they kissed it
was as if he were a sailor leaving for a long voyage and they were standing on
the docks, waiting for him to board, saying with their bodies all of the things
they’d be missing in the coming months and praying for a safe return. He did,
indeed, show her just how much he loved her at every opportunity. And it was
moments like this that reinforced the wisdom of her decision to go with him to
the Ren Fest rather than with the others to the parade. Well, that and the fact
that he had cheated and pulled out the ‘Valentine’s Day Again’ card.

“Me thinks we might needs to obtain
lodging in yonder tavern,” she panted as he pushed her up against a tree at the
side of the jousting field and showed more appreciation for her use of the
proper jargon, or any jargon at all, really.

While he wasn’t the best looking man
she’d dated—he simply refused to ever comb his hair without prompting and had
the worst taste in clothes—he was kind of cute, showered regularly and was very
fit for a geek. And he made her laugh constantly. Every cologne he wore
assaulted her senses like an aphrodisiac.
And
he kissed like a Greek
god, each time as passionate as their first time.

“I don’t think they sell by the
hour,” he laughed.

“Then perhaps the King’s Privies?”

“Hmm, they are right down the hill…but
it’s always better to be uphill from the privies,” he joked.

“And upwind.”

“Ha ha, yes.”

But the couple did not go anywhere,
as he instead moved in again, locking her into a passionate kiss with no regard
for where they were or who was watching. Her breath came in gasps because he
had her pressed so tightly against the tree, which he was no doubt doing on
purpose. After several minutes of passionate groping, he finally pulled back so
they could each take a breather.

“Hazzah!” several nearby peasants in
ragged robes cheered enthusiastically and it took the couple a protracted
moment to realize they weren’t cheering the sword fighting, which was still in
progress. Scooter blushed and Athena curtsied as a group of a dozen or so gave signs
of encouragement.

“I just wish you could get into
this as much as—damnit!” Scooter spat in annoyance as his phone buzzed for the
fiftieth time and he finally held it up to read the latest text. It was Tripper
and it read:
Answer your fucking phone NOW!!! 911
. The bastard had been
calling repeatedly for at least half an hour and Calvin had been letting it go
to voice so Athena would know he was here only with her. But his OCD could take
only so much. “Hold on a second, babe. Trip needs some attention.”

“We should probably both take a few
to update anyway,” she suggested and pulled out her own device.

His phone buzzed again and he
answered. “Sup?”

“Damnit, Scooter, where you been?
I’ve been calling, like, forever.” Trip screamed.

“I’ve been—”