“I’ve
tried
to overcome my reluctant feelings about his candidacy.” Those few words were as much as she could manage for the moment.
Jennie’s eyes fluttered open. She whimpered for her mother and Miss Hattie handed the child over to Jarena’s care. “I s’pose most of the time tryin’ would be enough. But this here is different—it’s important that one of us is runnin’ fer office. ’Sides, I don’t think none of us believe folks is gonna elect a colored man to such a high office as state auditor.”
“You don’t know that for certain. In fact, he won the nomination by a landslide with only six coloreds voting at the convention. There must be
some
white folks willing to elect a colored man. And we all know Moses is so light-skinned he can pass for white.” Truth’s hands trembled as she leaned back to rest her shoulders against the cool oak of the kitchen chair. The fact that she’d been able to counter Miss Hattie’s statement only served to bolster her own fears.
Miss Hattie rubbed her hands together as though the words had been a balm to her weary soul. “Maybe we
will
get us a colored man elected. Praise the Lord!”
Struggling to maintain her composure, Truth walked to the stove to retrieve the coffeepot. “If that happens, I’ll be forced to leave Nicodemus and move to Topeka, Miss Hattie.”
“Is that what this here takin’ to your bed is all about? Land alive, chil’, if that’s the worst thing that happens, you should be running up and down the streets shoutin’ hallelujah.”
Jarena grinned as Miss Hattie waved her arms overhead.
Truth swallowed back her tears. “This isn’t funny, Jarena. If you had to pack up and leave all of us behind, you wouldn’t take the matter so lightly. How would you have felt if none of your family had been around to lend support when Thomas was missing in Indian Territory? Or if no one you love had been there when Jennie was born?”
With a look of concern, Jarena patted Truth’s hand. “But the one who loves you the very most
will
be there. You know Moses wouldn’t miss the birth of his firstborn, and no matter where you go, you’ll have Jesus with you.”
Her sister’s words were true enough, but they weren’t the sympathy Truth longed to hear. “I know Moses loves me, Jarena. But the last thing I want to do when I’m expecting my first baby is to leave my home.”
“You’s jest scared, but having a baby ain’ nothing to be afeard of.
You’s gonna have the good Lord to look after ya.” Miss Hattie gazed heavenward and then nodded. “Yes indeed. I do believe the Lord is givin’ you a blessed opportunity to rely on Him. You know the Bible says our God’s jealous. He wants us to look to Him first when we’s havin’ difficult times ’stead of lookin’ to each other for help. Maybe the Lord’s wantin’ you to trust Him to carry you through. Get out your Bible and read ’bout Sarai and Abram—you remember that story?” The old woman didn’t wait for a reply. “God tol’ Abram to go and Sarai followed with him. You think she was complainin’ and layin’ in the bed like you?”
Truth shuddered. “As I recall, Abram let his wife end up with the
Pharaoh down in Egypt for quite a while. You think that’s supposed to encourage me?”
Miss Hattie sighed as she lifted her ample body from the chair.
“God delivered both Abram and Sarai, and He blessed them in a mighty way. You think ’bout trustin’ God and see if that story don’t apply to you.” She patted Truth’s shoulder and picked up her parasol.
“Now, I think it’s time I get myself over to the store and give Miz Wilson my order.”
Jarena stood up and hoisted Jennie to her hip. “I love you,” she whispered as she placed a kiss on Truth’s cheek. “Pappy said we’d come over after church on Sunday if you wanted some company. I’d be pleased to bring along some pies for dessert.”
Truth followed her guests to the front door. “That would be nice.
Maybe you and Grace and I can spend some time alone.”
Miss Hattie turned after stepping onto the front porch. “While you’s thinkin’ ’bout what I said, you might consider doin’ somethin’ with that hair of yours.” With a wink and a grin, she waved her parasol in the air and headed off with Jarena alongside her.
T
hough her stubborn nature argued against it, Truth followed Miss Hattie’s final instructions. After all, she
did
look disheveled. Peering into the dresser mirror, she tamed her hair into a presentable style before hastening back downstairs.
There would be little time to prepare the noonday meal, but she would do her best before Moses arrived home. Deciding to heat thick slices of ham and fry up a skillet of potatoes and onions, she set to work. While she peeled and sliced, an unbidden remembrance of her aunt Lilly and one of the predictions she had made came to mind— words of warning that Moses and Truth weren’t well suited and a declaration that her sister, Jarena, was the better choice for a man of obvious power, distinction, and money. Most importantly, the money!
Aunt Lilly could sniff out a wealthy man like a bee drawn to a nectar-filled bloom. And she had been correct in her assessment of Moses.
Truth’s husband had been reared by a wealthy white family in Massachusetts and educated far beyond the likes of most coloreds— at least any of the coloreds Truth had ever known. Prior to his arrival in Kansas, Moses had succeeded in all of his business ventures. And shortly after an article had appeared in the newspaper regarding Nicodemus, he’d decided to personally investigate the town. In less than five years, he’d set up newspaper offices in both Hill City and Nicodemus, married Truth, and constructed their new home. Now he’d likely be adding
state auditor
to his list of accomplishments.
The knife nicked Truth’s finger as she recalled Aunt Lilly’s exact words.
“What if Moses has political aspirations, Truth? What if he chooses to move from Nicodemus? Are you willing to leave this town and help him aspire to something greater if that should be his choice?”
Truth rinsed a trickle of blood from her finger and wrapped it with a strip of cloth as the question continued to replay in her mind. Thinking such a day would never come, she’d been nonchalant with her response. Flippantly, she’d told her aunt that Moses would never make such a decision without first consulting her. Truth had disregarded her aunt’s warning. Unfortunately, Moses
hadn’t
first considered her feelings— nor had he consulted her. His recent behavior had served to compound her mounting fears about their future. What other decisions might he make without her?
“Do I smell ham and fried potatoes?” Her husband’s words preceded him down the hall.
“You have a good nose.” She turned her cheek to accept his kiss.
“Dinner will be ready in a few more minutes.”
Moses’s eyes shone with delight as he surveyed her appearance.
“You look lovely today. I’m pleased it won’t be necessary to have the doctor come calling.”
Ignoring the remark, she stirred the potatoes. “Why don’t you set the table for me?”
He gingerly removed two table settings from the shelf and arranged them on the table. “If we move to Topeka, I’m going to hire someone to help you with the housework and cooking. Maybe your friend Dovie would be interested. You could write to her.”
Dovie
. Truth hadn’t heard from her old friend in well over a year. In her final letter, Dovie had mentioned she’d soon be without a housekeeping position if the congressman who employed her lost his bid for reelection. Shortly thereafter, Truth had written to inquire, but she’d never received a reply. Perhaps Dovie had taken a job elsewhere, married, or even moved to another town.
For now, Truth didn’t want to talk about Dovie or Topeka. She placed their meal on the table while Moses arranged the silverware.
Changing the subject, she inquired if his work had gone well throughout the morning.
Moses forked a piece of ham and dropped it onto his plate. “It did. I managed to accomplish more than expected. However, I’m certain you have more news to report than I. Miss Hattie and Jarena stopped by the office and said they were coming to pay you a visit. Did you enjoy their company?”
How could she truthfully respond to that question without saying she’d found Miss Hattie’s interference overwhelming? She picked up the bowl of potatoes and passed them to her husband. “I must admit I’m not fond of unexpected company. I’d rather be prepared when I receive guests.” At least she’d managed to avoid a lie.
Moses gave her an appreciative look. “Well, your present appearance is stunning. Besides, Jarena isn’t a guest—she’s family. And Miss Hattie’s considered a part of nearly every family in Nicodemus.”
That much was true. And whether sought after or not, Miss Hattie’s opinions were freely given. “Speaking of guests, Pappy and the rest of the family are joining us for dinner after church on Sunday.”
Moses scooped a helping of potatoes onto his plate and nodded.
“We should spend as much time as possible with family between now and the election. That way, we won’t have any regrets should I be elected.”
Not have any regrets?
She inhaled a deep breath and forced herself to remain calm. Best to shift the conversation to a more neutral topic.
“I believe I’ll do some shopping this afternoon. Is there anything I might purchase for you?” Instantly, she knew her question sounded foolish, for the newspaper office was only a short distance from the general store, where Moses could easily purchase anything he needed without difficulty. All other topics of conversation eluded her at the moment.
Moses reached across the table and cupped her hand beneath his own as he thanked her for the kind offer. “Tell me, what did Miss Hattie have to say about our news?”
Not knowing whether he meant news of his bid for state auditor or news of the baby, Truth decided to assume the latter. “She was most pleased for us.” Truth picked up her plate. If she began to clear away the dishes, she’d not be required to elaborate.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were attempting to rush me out of the house. I haven’t even had a second cup of coffee.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll get the pot when I take the dishes to the kitchen. I had hoped to complete my shopping as early as possible. I may need to take a brief nap before starting supper this evening.” Though she doubted she’d actually require a nap, Truth wanted Moses to depart before they exchanged words that might lead to an argument.
“No need for more coffee, then. The sooner I complete my work at the office, the sooner I’ll be back home this evening.” He carried his plate into the kitchen and then kissed her on the cheek. “I look forward to spending a leisurely evening with you. I missed our evening chats while I was in Topeka.”
Why must he continue to talk about Topeka?
Every time he mentioned the place, a new wave of fear washed over her, mingling with an increasing dismay over his actions. How had Moses so easily decided about their future without giving any thought to her wishes?
Truth walked alongside her husband until they reached the front door. Rising up on tiptoe, she accepted his kiss and waited until he was out of sight before returning to the kitchen. Yes, they would talk tonight, though she doubted either of them would be completely satisfied with the outcome. He would likely think her fears and worries over the baby foolish, and any request to withdraw his name from the ballot would surely be ineffective.
Moses looked through the stack of paperwork on his desk before glancing at the clock. He shook his head. Although there was much work requiring his attention, he shouldn’t be late for supper this evening. A late appearance might set Truth on edge and make the evening’s discussion all the more difficult.
There had been little doubt the announcement of his candidacy had displeased and upset Truth. And although the news of an expected child had delighted him, he’d been caught unawares. They had both longed for a child, but he’d given up hope when month after month they’d been disappointed. Why, he’d not even considered her illness might be related to such a condition when he departed for Topeka. However, he needed to assure her of his love and support— and his pleasure that they would soon welcome a son or daughter into their home.
He placed a glass paperweight atop the sheaf of papers, locked his office, and headed off toward home. As he bounded up the front steps, he uttered a quick prayer that the evening would go well. More than anything, he wanted a return to peace within the confines of his home.
Do you?
The questioning inner voice startled him.
Of course I want peace
.
How much?
Moses hastily went inside the house and banged the door behind him. He hoped to distance himself from the stinging question as easily as he shut out the hot August wind. Right now he wasn’t certain he did want peace more than he wanted to serve as state auditor.
The waning sunlight splashed through the kitchen window and framed Truth in a luminescent halo as she turned to greet him. The sight of her beguiling smile assaulted him with an even heavier burden of guilt. Perhaps he should withdraw his candidacy. No doubt the other Republican candidate would be pleased to step in and fill the slot. Yet he didn’t want to give up this opportunity—not for himself and not for their people. Surely Truth would understand that Nicodemus needed to be on the route for one of the railroad lines being planned across the northern half of the state. His presence in Topeka might bolster the town’s chances of being chosen as one of the train stops. After he explained these reasons in more detail, Truth might more readily accept his decision and support his nomination.
He inhaled the aroma of the simmering chicken stew. “Smells good.” He rubbed his hand in a circular motion over his stomach.
“And I’m hungry enough to eat all you’ve cooked.”
Truth giggled as she stirred the kettle. “I doubt you could eat even half of this. In addition, I’ve prepared biscuits and then there’s chocolate cake for dessert. You’ll want to save a little room for those.”
When the dishes had been cleared away, they sat down in the parlor, Moses balancing a coffee cup on his knee and Truth perched on the edge of the same settee, facing him. Anxiety overpowered him as he struggled to find the proper words to begin their conversation. He lifted his cup and took a sip of coffee.
“I don’t want to leave Nicodemus.”
He peered over the lip of the angled cup and met his wife’s unwavering gaze. He need not flounder any longer. The discussion had begun. He placed his cup on the saucer on the side table and took Truth’s hands in his own. “I do understand how you feel, Truth.”
She shook her head, looking sad. “No, you don’t understand. If you did, you wouldn’t ask me to leave Nicodemus and everyone I love.”
Her words pierced Moses like lightning splitting a cottonwood tree. “Am
I
not counted among those you love, Truth?”
“You’re twisting my words, Moses. You know I love you, but you’re asking me to give up everything else and follow you. It’s not as though we’ve ever actually talked about leaving Nicodemus.” She shifted and pulled her hands free. “Before we married, you led me to believe you’d be content in Nicodemus. Would you feel betrayed if
I
made plans to leave Nicodemus without your consent?”
Moses accepted her argument as valid, yet he had to make her understand his decision had been much more than a whim. “It would depend upon the circumstances. If your plan was merely for selfish purposes, I would be upset and angry. If the decision was based upon an important cause, on the other hand, I’d make every attempt to support your choice.”
She dropped her weight against the back of the sofa and stared at the fireplace. “And because you consider this an important cause, you believe I should cheerfully pack my bags and close up the house.”
Hoping to lighten the mood, he gave her a playful wink. “Well, I’ll not ask that you do so
cheerfully
. But I would ask that you give thoughtful consideration to the importance of winning this election— both for us and for our people. Will you agree to give this issue your thought and prayer?”
She gave him a sidelong glance. “I’ve done nothing else since your announcement. I’ll continue, but that doesn’t mean I’ve agreed.”
He moved closer and embraced her. “I understand. I won’t ask for anything more right now. At any rate, I may not even win the election.” He cupped her face between his palms. “I’m delighted you’re going to be the mother of my child. I love you very much. You know that, don’t you?”
“And I love you.” She brushed his lips with a feathery kiss. “As you said, you’ve not yet won the election. All my worry may be for naught.”
He wondered if she’d been listening to him when he’d pled his case. Did she truly not grasp the importance of having one of their people win a statewide elected office? If he was elected, he would be the first Negro ever to hold statewide office in Kansas—and most other states, for that matter!
He hoped she would do as she’d said and continue to pray and think about the issue. He would ask nothing more of her for now. After all, he didn’t want her to begin praying for a loss at the polls.