Dave Cameron and the Extraterrestrial (5 page)

Read Dave Cameron and the Extraterrestrial Online

Authors: V Bertolaccini

Tags: #extraterrestrial, #science fiction horror, #alternative universe, #horror comedy, #david cameron, #downing street, #action comedy, #alien comedy, #interdimensional voyager, #ufo humor

BOOK: Dave Cameron and the Extraterrestrial
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There
is!”


Where?”


Apparently Cameron ... Everywhere!”


That’s
where you’re wrong! I’ve not been everywhere!”


Yet! You
don’t actually have to go everywhere! It can be done with the
media!”


I’ve
been in the media? When?”

Malone bent
over holding his head in his hands, and rested his head on the
table, while moaning, and swiftly straightened, while Cameron
realized he had heard something about him in the media.


The
whole country seems to know of you ...” Malone announced, and
stopped himself.


I can
assure you that nothing really happened! That golf club has some
strange people hanging around ...”


We’re
not talking about that! So you have lost your memory! Well, this
time I have you! A complaint was made to the police about
you!”


While
visiting the golf club?” he replied, astonished and confused.
“Alright! I know I’m not a member ...”


It’s
nothing to do with your blasted golf club!” he screamed.


Well
then it is about time you told me!”


I will!
I’m coming to it!”

Cameron gasped,
wondering if he could go to prison for the crime! Yet why did he
not recall anything? If he had done something surely he would have
noticed it? What was he talking about? Was it something he had done
before he had been found in the pool of mud in the field? Was he
actually a wanted criminal, and had the people of the media, in the
wood, or on the golf course recognized him!

He could not
have! He was sure he was not like that, and he could tell by all
the people who knew him that he had not been!

How would he
handle the police without a memory? They would think he was
covering something or was insane!

Malone took his
official pose and sat upright studying him, as though a judge about
to sentence him for a serious crime, which he would regret for the
rest of his life, and he wondered what he was up to when he never
and just sat staring at his face with deep emotions of
something!

Cameron
wondered what the outcome of it all could be!


You
remember what you did after you left the golf course road, I
presume?” Malone casually spoke.


Yes! I
kept walking and ...”


Right!
Where did you go next?

Cameron stared
blankly and shrugged.


You went
to a small roadside wood! Didn’t you?”

Cameron just
pleaded guilty and wondered what he was being accused of!


You were
seen climbing down a well in the middle of the wood on Floors Road!
You had no right to be there and the farmer complained of you
digging a giant well on his property!”


What!
I’m to be charged for digging a well there?”


No! I’m
to warn you not to do it again, and tell you to go over there and
cover it over! Someone’s dog could’ve fallen into it!”

Cameron
realized someone must have left the cover and covering to hide it
off and realized he saw it being covered over!

 

Chapter 8

 

The Agreement

 

Cameron could not believe he had not realized
his own identity, and it was worse now as he could not see himself
answering it, and he rested sulking on his bed.

It was incredible the soldiers in the tent
kept getting him drinks and drunk, and had immediately handed him
cans of beer as he had entered the tent.


What was that all about?” the soldier
that had taken him to Malone’s tent asked, sitting on the end of
his bed, bouncing slightly, testing the springs, and Cameron gasped
and decided just to say something.


Someone reported me for digging a
tunnel ...”


Digging a tunnel! What to escape from
here?”


I don’t know!”


I know this place is rainy at times
...”


What is happening about that racehorse
you’re going to buy?” he moaned over at Hanks.


We’re going to go over and buy it ...
Are you in?”


I’m interested!”

Cameron thought it over for a few seconds,
wondering why there was four of them in the deal, and why he needed
them in the deal, and why he never just bought it himself and took
the full profit! He was sure it was a gamble and Hanks would have
to win on a horse that he had not ridden. How would he be able to
check the horse out?

They all sat thinking about it on their beds,
and Hanks eventually replied, “Do you know I recalled seeing you
going to meet someone somewhere before you vanished! Just before
you ended up in that pool of mud in that field!”

Cameron wondered why he had done that, trying
to recall, and trying to work out why he would do such a thing!


What the hell will I do?” he
eventually moaned.

The soldier at the end of his bed looked over
at him, and told him, “You’ll remember someday ... I’m sure!”

The soldier looked over at Hanks, and asked,
“Have you any room for anyone else investing in that
racehorse?”

Hanks nodded with satisfaction, and Cameron
wondered what it was worth now and what the outcome of it would
be!

 

Chapter 9

 

The Beast

 

Cameron was confused! They had been sitting
in the bar for four hours and it was almost closing time, the bar
was completely empty, and Hanks had not turned up!

He sat with the other three soldiers drinking
and waiting for Hank’s arrival!

They had been unsuccessful in getting the
horse! None of them had a horse available and they had wasted their
time and he wondered if it was the horse merchants attempt to drive
up the price! Yet he was sure none had much interest in selling
anything!

Hanks knew someone who would sell one and
they waited for him to turn up and give them information on what
was happening!

It was incredible the amount they drank and
had him drinking, for virtually most of the night, and by the time
Hanks turned up they were drunk and lethargic.

Cameron was
staring through hazed eyes, still wondering about everything, when
the doors seemed to explode apart and something seemed to shift
into his sight in an altered motion and he stared startled at it
trying to wake up and realize what it was.

After a few
minutes he heard a loud giggle burst out of Simpson’s lightly
closed lips, breaking the intense atmosphere, and he turned to see
the angry expression on Fogler’s face and he realized how deep it
was and he followed his eyes back to the door and to Hanks
standing, looking embarrassed, with a horse that looked like it had
been crossed with a monster!

Yet on close
examination he saw something was wrong with the horse, and had to
have some medical condition. Something he couldn’t quite grasp, and
he tried to wake himself to get it!

It was supposed
to be a racehorse! But why was it abnormal?

He gawked
confused and saw one of the locals look in a door startled and he
followed his startled eyes to the horse’s eyes and saw danger! The
horse looked extraordinarily strange! He was not even sure it was a
horse at times, and he started thinking it was the drink and his
memory problem.

It had eyes of
some wild beast, and killer eyes that had a deep hate of what
seemed to be humans! He could hardly believe a horse could have
such a reaction to humans!


What
have you been doing to the thing?” Simpson moaned, glaring at the
thing in disbelief as though it were not fully there and a figment
of the imagination. “Look at it! Have you whipping it into shape or
something?”


Get
stuffed!” Hanks grumbled loudly.


So this
is our amazing racehorse?”


Guess!”

They all stared
as Hanks walked right up to them with the beast, towering over
them. What astonished Cameron was he could not get how they could
control such a thing while riding! He could see why Hanks might
have been whipping it and started trying to see any damage to the
beast!


Well?”
Hanks moaned.


Well
what?” Simpson swiftly answered.


Well
what do you think of our racehorse? It was the best they had and I
could get!”


The best
for the price then!” Simpson replied, and stood up and wandered
around it, amazed by the incredible size of it in strange places,
as if it had been trained doing something else, and how much a
danger it looked, and he ultimately giggled at it.

Cameron had a
hard time accepting the thing could win a race.


It was
bred to race!” Hanks announced, seeing his reaction. “Look at those
muscles and the enthusiasm in those eyes!”


Enthusiasm in those eyes!” Simpson replied. “The thing looks
like it’s going to maul someone! It looks like it was bred and
trained for a wild rodeo or circus act!”

What amazed
Cameron was the barman had vanished and remained hidden away out of
sight.

He wondered
where the hell Hanks intended to keep the thing, as he had not
suggested anything. He could just imagine Malone’s face and temper
if he discovered the thing in one of the tents.

When the barman
emerged Fogler left and arrived with some more drinks for them and
insisted in giving Cameron the most alcoholic drink he could think
of, and Cameron got annoyed and conclusively asked why.


You know
I read somewhere it can give people with memory loss their memory
back!” he replied, with a laugh, looking sideways in small glances
at the horse.


Memory
back!” he moaned back, confused. “I’ll be lucky to remember
anything after all these!”


Well, it
may cause your brain to start functioning again!”

He started
wondering what they were up to and why such drastic action. He was
sure it was part of one of their schemes and that he would have to
wait to find out what, like everything else.

Something
strange about the horse grasped his imagination!

It was far too
different! He also could not work out why he had brought it into
the bar! The thing could easily smash the place to pieces, if it
finally went crazy.


Where
the hell did you get that thing?” a pensioner gasped, rushing in
the bar door, with his hair soaked and standing up, as he went to
get an umbrella he had left behind.


I bought
it at an Ebay dealer!” Hanks moaned, and laughed drunkenly. “It’s
marketed as a genetically improved racing horse!”

Everyone at the
table seemed to look at Hanks at the one time, and Cameron, who was
in the middle of gulping down his drink, coughed simultaneously and
it blasted up his nose, and he had to cough it out.

The pensioner
gasped, and told them he was the last time he bought anything there
again and rushed for the door!


It was
the only place I could get something worthwhile!” he explained. “If
I hadn’t the deal would have been off!”


As long
as it runs good!” Simpson replied. “If not you’ll have to return
the thing!”

Hanks nodded
firmly in agreement, showing them he had control of the
situation.

Cameron
recovered from his cough and thought over what the hell he had
bought, and after not thinking of anything he started ticking off
things that it was not but ended up with the exact same!

Simpson downed
his drink and jumped up and moved slowly over to the beast now tied
near a wall by its rope! He examined it all over its body and they
all moved over and joined in and remarked how fit it looked, but
its abnormal looks astounded and confused them on whether it was
capable of winning a race.

While they all
turned around to go back to their seats and turned their backs on
it Cameron was surprised that it gave a silent growl, like no horse
he had ever heard, and it sounded like a wild cat or beast in the
wilderness, and it made a shiver run up his spine and he never
forgot it and the way it eyed them up like it was being held by its
prey!

Cameron watched
rain blast against a window and wondered why he never found a hotel
instead of staying in the army camp.

They sat
listening to Simpson and Fogler arguing over racing horses when
they heard something crash to the floor and turned and saw the
racehorse had knocked something over and Hanks marched over like a
cowboy and calmed it down.

They all
laughed when Hanks started explaining in detail how sad the horse
had been and that he had just brought it into the bar to cheer it
up, as it suffered from depression!

Cameron was
surprised to hear Hanks bet them a hundred pounds that they could
not cheer it up and Simpson and Fogler immediately agreed, and
silently discussed it and how best to do it and they marched up to
the horse and both of them kept whispering in its ear.

The horse
finally gave out a laughter type smile and sound at something
Simpson whispered and Cameron was amazed that they had done it, and
Hanks paid them the money, even though it quickly retuned to being
in the same mood!

Hanks swiftly
decided to try to get his money back by betting them that they
could not make the horse weep and Simpson and Fogler took the
challenge and went up to the horse and started whispering to it,
but it grunted and knocked Fogler over instead, and they returned
to their seats and paid Hanks his money!

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