Daughters of the Dragon: A Comfort Woman's Story (9 page)

F
OURTEEN

L
ieutenant tanaka had
a firm grip on my arm as we stood in Colonel Matsumoto’s office. The Colonel studied maps spread across his desk. Dark, rough-hewn wooden beams crisscrossed the high ceiling. Windows with Chinese latticework overlooked a courtyard in the center of Dongfeng. A photograph of Emperor Hirohito hung on a wall, a map of Manchuria hung on another. The white and red military flag of Japan stood in a corner. The Colonel had not bathed after his return from the battlefield and his field uniform was dirty. There were dark circles around his eyes and fatigue creased his once-smooth face.

“Colonel, sir,” Lieutenant Tanaka said, “this girl disobeyed orders and must be punished.”

“What did she do?” he asked, without looking up from his maps.

“She was in a restricted area against my orders.”

“Where?”

“In the infirmary, sir.”

“The infirmary?”

“Yes, sir. Visiting her sister.”

“That is not a serious offense, Lieutenant,” the colonel said. “Why do you bother me with it? I have much more important matters to attend to.”

“Sir, you asked for her tonight. I thought you should know why she won’t be available.”

“Really Lieutenant, is this necessary?”

“Sir, there’s something else you should know. This one has been hiding a comb.” He pulled the comb with the two-headed dragon from his jacket pocket and put it on the desk.

The Colonel gave the lieutenant a hard look. “A comb, Lieutenant? With what is happening in the war, you are concerned that this girl has been hiding a comb?”

“Sir, it shows a lack of discipline.”

The Colonel pushed away from his desk and paced across the wood-planked floor. “Our homeland is under attack, Lieutenant,” he bellowed. “We fight the Americans in the east, the Chinese in the south, and now the Russians in the north. They are less than one-hundred miles away and they are advancing with ten divisions.” He placed his palms on the desk and leaned toward Tanaka. “The Russians are well equipped and well trained. We do not have the forces or the equipment to… ” The Colonel held his eyes on the lieutenant for a moment, and then he took a quick look at me. He sat down and stared at his desk.

Eventually, he noticed the comb. He picked it up and examined it. He asked me where I got it.

I bowed. “From my mother, sir. It has been in our family for a long time.”

The Colonel brought it close to his face. “It… it has a two-headed dragon and its feet have five toes,” he whispered.

“Sir?” I said.

“Five-toed dragon, with two heads.” He looked at me wide-eyed, then turned to Lieutenant Tanaka. “Do not discipline this girl, Lieutenant.”

Lieutenant Tanaka stiffened and pointed to his white armband. “Sir, I am
Kempei-tai
and I am responsible for the comfort station. I take orders from my own officers. I’m only telling you because she is scheduled with you tonight.”

“Yes, you are
Kempei-tai
,” Colonel Matsumoto said with a glare, “and I am a colonel, Lieutenant.”

“Yes sir, but I must maintain discipline. For the Emperor. For Japan.”

“For the Emperor. For Japan,” the Colonel repeated slowly. He looked at the comb and ran his finger along the gold spine. He slipped it into his shirt pocket and looked away. Then he said, “I will take Seiko tonight, Lieutenant.”

Lieutenant Tanaka gave a small nod. “Yes sir.” He grabbed me, pushing his fingers hard into my arm. As Lieutenant Tanaka dragged me to the door, I looked over my shoulder at the colonel. Behind his huge desk and alongside the flag of Japan, he looked small.

*

Lieutenant Tanaka called for Private Ishida as he led me into the comfort station courtyard. “Get the rope,” he said. “I have a lesson to give.” The private jumped to his feet. Our eyes met and he hesitated a moment. Then he quickly disappeared around the back of the barracks.

Lieutenant Tanaka pushed me toward the post. I fell to the yellow dirt and he stood over me with his
shinai
at his side. He ordered me to take off my clothes.

I had always been terrified of getting a beating from Lieutenant Tanaka. I almost fainted when I watched Jin-sook scream and urinate on herself the first day at the comfort station. And I had to fight to stay upright all three times the
kempei
had beaten Soo-hee. Now for the first time, it was my turn at the post. But I wasn’t afraid. I had turned hard over the previous two years.

So I untied my obi and let my
yukata
fall to the ground. As I slipped off my
zori
and
tabi
, I looked out over the courtyard past the road, over the wheat fields, south toward Korea. I tried to remember the place where Soo-hee and I made
kimchi
in the kitchen of our home, where our mother had combed my hair in front of the fire. But no images came, only the gray of this place where I had been dying each day for the past two years.

Private Ishida returned with the ropes and handed them to Lieutenant Tanaka. The private didn’t look at me as I untied my undergarments and let them fall to the ground.

Lieutenant Tanaka ordered the private to gather the other Korean girls. Then he pushed me against the post. I offered no resistance as he tied my hands and ankles tight to the post. A cool breeze swept over my body. It honestly felt good. The earth, warmed by the afternoon sun, was soothing on my bare feet. The air tasted sweet. I closed my eyes for a minute and heard soft booms to the west. I wondered if it was the Russian cannons. But the Colonel had said the Russians were still far away.

The other girls gathered in the courtyard and stood in a line facing me. When Mee-su saw me tied to the post, she brought her hand to her mouth, but quickly took her place with the others. Seiko and a few other Japanese women sat on their steps and watched as Lieutenant Tanaka finished with the ropes. He began pacing in front of the girls.

“This girl has earned a beating,” he said, slapping his
shinai
against his boot harder than usual. “When will you learn that you must not displease your
kempei
? Do you think I enjoy this? Do you think I want to beat you? No! I give you these lessons for your sake, so you will learn to be good Japanese subjects. Soon, we will win the war and you will be glad you are on our side. Now you will watch the punishment without closing your eyes.”

Lieutenant Tanaka approached me. His thin lips were curled up at the ends, but his eyes were like a doll’s eyes, cold and lifeless. I looked past him, south toward Korea.

Then he raised his
shinai
and brought it down hard on my thighs. The blow shot white-hot flames down my legs and up my back. My stomach clenched hard and my lungs and throat seized sending sharp needles of pain into my head and nose. The Lieutenant struck me again in the same place and the flames from the first blow exploded into a thousand more. My lungs let go and a huge, jagged cry boiled up to my throat. But before it could escape, I grabbed it and choked it back down. And as the
kempei
beat me, I kept my cries inside where I was dead like stone.

*

I could barely make out Private Ishida’s face as he carried me to the infirmary. He kept his eyes forward and muttered something under his breath about Lieutenant Tanaka. As he carried me up the stairs, the fire in my legs made me moan. The private stopped and carefully shifted my weight in his arms. He slowed his pace and carried me across the ward. He laid me next to Soo-hee.

I couldn’t move my legs and my eyes didn’t focus. My head was heavy on the mat.

“
Onni
,” I said weakly, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Ja-hee,” my
onni
said. “You did not do anything wrong.”

“I was strong,” I said. “I didn’t cry.”

Soo-hee reached over and stroked my hair. “I know,” Soo-hee said. Her eyes were red and her face was pale. A tear ran down her cheek. “You were strong.”

“Soo-hee,” I said, “they’ve taken the comb.”

“Hush, little sister,” Soo-hee whispered. “Hush and go to sleep.”

*

Four days later, I lay on my mat in my tiny, stinking room as soldier after soldier raped me. The bone-deep ache in my legs from Lieutenant Tanaka’s beating combined with the fiery pain between them was almost too much to bear. To protect my thighs, I had to spread my legs wide, which made the soldier’s thrusts more painful. Eventually, I found a position that delivered the pain evenly between my bruised thighs and raw vagina so I could keep going.

For the past two days, an endless line of soldiers circulated in and out of our courtyard as cannon fire boomed in the distance. The soldiers were crueler than usual. They slapped me, pulled my hair, and mounted me roughly, desperate to purify their souls before they went off to battle.

As another filthy soldier climbed on top of me, I thought of Soo-hee. I had been able to spend only one night with her on the infirmary’s cold tile floor before Lieutenant Tanaka saw that Private Ishida had placed us together. He made Doctor Watanabe put us at opposite ends of the ward. When I saw her last, my
onni
was pale and weak, but she was still alive, fighting for her life.

At last, there were no more soldiers at my step. I struggled to make my aching legs work as I pushed myself off my mat, wrapped my
yukata
around me and picked up my chamber pot that no longer hid the comb with the two-headed dragon. When I pushed the door open, Lieutenant Tanaka was at the foot of my steps with his
shinai
at his side. “You have the Colonel again tonight, Namiko Iwata.”

“Yes,
Kempei
,” I said trying not to show how weak I was.

“Oh, and I’m sorry to tell you, Doctor Watanabe reports that your sister is not doing well. He says she has only days to live. And in case you’re thinking about sneaking out to see her again, I’ve told Private Ishida to keep a close eye on you and shoot you if you get near the infirmary.”

“Yes,
Kempei
.”

“Now go clean up for the Colonel,” Lieutenant Tanaka said, walking away. “Do your job well. He is under a lot of stress and needs to stay strong for Japan.”

And then I finally saw the end. If Soo-hee died, I would die, too. I would hang myself with my obi like Sun-hi did. I had only enough strength left to do that. The end did not make me sad or anxious. It only made me glad that soon my nightmare would be over.

As I pushed myself toward the latrine, I saw that Seiko and the other Japanese women were gone. Private Ishida leaned against the barracks wall and watched as I walked by. He looked in the direction of Lieutenant Tanaka and then at me again. I thought he wanted to say something, but he stayed silent. I went to the latrine and as I washed, I could hear trucks on the road and movement in the village. The cannons in the distance were louder than they were in the morning.

F
IFTEEN

W
hen I went
to be with the Colonel, he was sitting in a black, short-legged chair with an ornate carved back. Over his square frame, he wore a white dress uniform with a stiff collar and red insignia. An empty bottle of
sake
lay on its side on a rosewood table next to him. There was another full bottle and two glasses next to it. He had moved the picture of his family from the bed to the table where he sat. The latticed windows were open to the street below and a breeze blew in.

I had never seen the Colonel in a formal uniform. I wondered if there had been a mistake and I was supposed to be with someone else that night. But when he saw me, he ordered me to come in. He nodded toward the rosewood bed and ordered me to sit. I removed my
zori
and placed them by the door. I sat on the edge of the bed and lowered my eyes.

“I see you are walking with a limp,” the Colonel said. “Lieutenant Tanaka must have given you a good beating the other day.”

“Yes sir,” I said.

He shook his head lazily. “He says he is doing his job like an honorable Japanese soldier. But he does not know what honor is. Perhaps someday, I will show him.” He lifted the glass to his mouth and drank the remaining
sake
in it. He grabbed the full bottle, uncorked it, and poured more
sake
into his glass.

The Colonel laughed lightly. “Drink some
sake
with me. It will ease your pain.”

“Sir?” I said. He had never offered me
sake
before.

He poured
sake
in the other glass and held it out to me. “Here,” he said. “Sake. Drink it.”

I took the glass and returned to the bed. I held it in my lap. Outside the window, the wind made the trees sway.

“Drink it!” the Colonel ordered. “It’s white
sake
from Japan, not the yellow swill they have here. Drink!”

I took a sip. I’d never had liquor before. It cut my tongue and burned my throat. I would have spit it out but I no longer cared about anything anymore, so I swallowed it.

“Good Japanese
sake
,” the Colonel said, lifting his glass and admiring the clear liquid inside. “I’ve been saving it for someone special and you are it! Drink more, girl.”

I took another drink. This time, it didn’t burn as much and I started to feel warm.

The Colonel lifted the picture of his family and gazed at it. “Have you ever been to Japan, girl?” he asked. His speech was slurred. “No, of course you haven’t. I will tell you about it. It is beautiful, not like this godforsaken country. My country has snow-capped mountains, blue seas, beautiful green islands, modern cities teeming with people and automobiles. We were the greatest country in the world!” He carefully set the picture down on the table and smiled sadly. “Drink to Japan, girl.”

I took another drink.

He leaned toward me unsteadily. The glass of
sake
dangled between his middle finger and thumb and he pointed at me with his index finger. “It was a compelling idea,” he said. “An empire from the Indian Ocean to the Bering Sea. From the Pacific Islands to China and India. Think of what we could have had! Think of what we could have done! We would have ruled the East for a thousand years!” He grinned at the thought, leaned back, and downed the contents of his glass. He filled it again.

He waved his free hand. “Everyone would have prospered. Not just the Japanese but all Asians. Especially you Koreans. The sacrifices we asked of you were no greater than our own. And you would have been rewarded!” The Colonel glared. “But you did not appreciate what we were doing for you.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” I said. “I do not care.” I had never spoken to the Colonel like that, but I was feeling lightheaded. And I really did not care.

The Colonel laughed. His face was red and his eyes swam. The wind outside blew hard making the window bump against the wall. He swayed as if the wind were blowing him, too. “Of course you don’t care. You are a stupid Korean! Let us drink a toast. Let’s drink to Korea! Big drink this time.” He raised his glass to me and together, we drank.

He grabbed his glass and the bottle and came to the bed. He loomed over me. “Here, more
sake
for you,” he said, and poured more of it in my glass.

The room was starting to move and I was getting nauseous. I wasn’t thinking clearly. “I do not want any more of your
sake
, sir,” I said.

He took a step toward me and struck me with the back of his hand. I fell to the floor, spilling the
sake
on his Chinese rug. The blow hurt, but in a strange, dull way. I tasted blood in my mouth.

The Colonel picked up my glass and filled it to the top. “I said drink!” he roared. “I will drink to Korea and you will drink to Japan.” I lifted myself onto the bed and he handed me the glass. I brought it to my mouth and took a drink. The
sake
no longer burned.

The Colonel leaned toward me unsteadily. He unbuttoned his collar. “Lieutenant Tanaka.
Kempei
,” he said, slurring the word. “His job was to turn you into good Japanese subjects. He did not do a very good job, did he?”

“Yes sir. I mean, no sir,” I said.

“Ha, ha, ha!” the Colonel laughed again. He swayed in front of me. Or perhaps it was me who was swaying. He slid into a chair. “It is unfortunate for him. And for you and for Japan. Take another drink,” he ordered.

We drank together, the Colonel emptying his glass.

“Korea had things Japan needed,” he said. “Minerals, protection from the Chinese and mongrel Russians! You are ignorant peasants and needed us, too. If you had done what we asked, it would have worked. It would have worked!” He pointed a finger at me. “It’s your fault, you whore. You and your damned comb.”

I wasn’t sure I had heard him right. “My comb, sir?” I heard myself say. “Maybe I should go back to the comfort station.”

“You cannot go there,” he said. “You must stay here tonight. Do you hear me?”

I didn’t understand what was going on. I didn’t want to be there with him anymore and I didn’t care if my impudence got me shot “Sir, I am going back to the comfort station now.” I tried to stand.

He stumbled toward me with the
sake
bottle and a scowl on his face. He grabbed my cheeks with his thumb and fingers. He pushed me down and opened my mouth. He shoved the bottle in. “Shut up and drink with me, girl!” He emptied the
sake
down my throat. I swallowed what I could and choked on the rest. He pulled the bottle away and I coughed and sputtered. Sake dribbled down my chin and onto my
yukata
.

“Please sir,” I heard myself say, “let me go.”

“No! Didn’t you hear me? Don’t you understand what I’m doing? I am saving you.”

“I don’t want to be saved,” I said.

He threw the bottle aside, and it shattered against the wall. He struck me in the face with his fist. The pain was dull like something hard had hit me softly, or something soft had hit me hard. I wasn’t sure. “You whore,” I heard him say. “It’s your fault! You made us do it! You made me do it.” He hit me again and the room spun.

I thought I should say I was sorry—sorry for being a stupid Korean whore, sorry for not being a good Japanese subject, sorry for not being strong enough—but I really didn’t care.

Outside, the trees swayed in the wind. I felt another blow against my face. There were stars in my head and then everything went dark.

*

I heard rain falling on the street outside the window. I opened my eyes and turned to the side. It was daylight. My head pounded and my mouth was dry. I pressed a finger against my lip. It was tender and puffy. I couldn’t see well out of my left eye.

I lifted my head and looked around. I couldn’t tell if I was alone. A strong wind blew in from the window behind the Colonel’s desk. I stood unsteadily and wrapped my
yukata
around me. It stunk like
sake
. I tried to focus on the door, but the room moved. My stomach convulsed and I fell to my knees next to the bed and retched. Green bile spewed from me onto the Chinese rug. I retched three times more. My head pounded so hard with each one, I was afraid I would pass out again. I spit sour bile from my mouth. Eventually I caught my breath and the room stopped moving.

I looked up and thought I saw something on the bed. I forced my eyes to focus on it. On the white linen, where I couldn’t miss it, was the comb with the two-headed dragon.

I stood uneasily and looked around the room. I thought I might be dreaming. The desk chair was on its side. Empty drawers were scattered around the room. The military flag of Japan lay on the floor, ripped in half.

The pounding in my head eased a little. I looked again at the comb. The gold spine glistened and the dragon reached for me like it did the day I left home. I picked it up and slid it inside my
yukata
. I stumbled to the door. I slipped my feet in my
zori
and went out into the rain. The shower of cold rain brought me out of my fog a little and I saw that the entire village was on the move. Military trucks rumbled slowly along the narrow streets. Lines of soldiers walked alongside the trucks with their heads down and rain dripping from their helmets. They were all marching east.

I dragged myself through the muddy streets toward the comfort station. I smelled something burning as I came to the back of the latrine. I peered around the corner at the comfort station. One of the barracks was on fire and Private Ishida was setting fire to another. Lieutenant Tanaka paced in the middle of the courtyard. The Korean girls stood in a line, facing the back end of a green, canvas-covered truck. The rain made their hair and clothes cling to their bodies.

“Where is Namiko Iwata!” the lieutenant shouted above the rain. “Where is Ja-hee? I want to know!”

Jin-sook stepped forward and bowed. “She did not come back last night, sir.”

Lieutenant Tanaka took a step toward Jin-sook. He lifted her head with the tip of his
shinai
. “You wouldn’t lie to me, would you girl?”

“No, sir,” she answered. “Not me.”

The
kempei
lowered his
shinai
. “Ja-hee was with the Colonel last night,” he said. “Well, well. I think our leader has gone soft. I had better see about that. Carry on, Private,” he said to Private Ishida. As he walked away, he threw his
shinai
in the burning barracks.

Private Ishida went to the truck and lifted the canvas flap. He stepped away and from inside the darkness, a machine gun opened fire.