Daughter of Riches (49 page)

‘Hi Paul! Guess who!'

‘Viv!' He turned, taking her hands in his. ‘How did you know it was me?'

‘How many men do I know in the RAF?' she countered. ‘Oh, it's so good to see you!'

And that was no lie, she thought. The years since she had last seen him had matured Paul. Both his face and his frame had filled out and the extra weight suited him; in uniform – always an attraction Viv had to admit – he looked quite startlingly handsome and she found herself wondering why she had thought of him as nothing but a substitute for Nicky. Of course the truth was that in the old days he had been a boy and now he was a man – and a very personable man at that.

‘Did you enjoy the show?' she asked.

‘The show was very good, though I have to admit I only came to see it because you were in it. I'm not a great theatregoer, as you know.'

‘I'm flattered! But how did you know I was in it? What are you doing here in this part of the world?'

‘I'm stationed nearby. I was in town with some friends and saw your photograph. So I decided to come in on my first free evening and see how you were doing.'

‘And was it worth it? Was I all right?'

‘Stop angling for compliments, Viv! But yes, you were terrific. Though I'm not sure I like the idea of you as a ghost. I have to say I prefer you in the flesh.'

‘Paul – you are wicked.'

‘I'm trying! Now, how about a drink or something to eat. Have you eaten?'

‘No, I never eat until after the show.'

‘Where would you like to go then?'

‘Well I'm not dressed for anything grand, that's for sure. I usually grab sausage and beans or something similar at the Lyons on the corner. But I tell you what, since it's such a nice evening, let's go and get fish and chips and eat them on the beach.'

‘Fish and chips!' Paul laughed. ‘ Well if that's what you want, that's what you shall have. Do you know a good chip shop?'

‘I do. Come on, I'll show you.'

They took their fish and chips, liberally sprinkled with salt and vinegar and wrapped in newspaper, down to the promenade. They sat on the sea wall to eat it, and Viv thought every mouthful was ambrosial. What was it about this night that was so magical? She couldn't put her finger on it but it was there all the same, a tingling excitement and anticipation, something crackling in the air between her and Paul.

‘I heard you were treading the boards,' Paul said.

‘Oh yes – how?'

‘From home of course.' But neither of them mentioned Nicky.

‘I thought I'd follow in my mother's footsteps but it's not nearly as glam as I imagined. To be honest I think I'd chuck it all in tomorrow if I had the chance.'

‘Why don't you then?'

‘Necessity, my dear Paul. No doubt you have heard of the Fall of the House of Moran?'

‘Well …'

‘I'll bet you have! I'll bet people are glorying in it. Not that I care very much what people say.'

‘Good for you.'

‘And what about your family? Are they all well?'

‘As far as I know. Except for Mama, of course. You know she's… well, a bit peculiar?'

‘Hardly surprising. God, I wish that monster Hitler had lived to be captured! He should have been hung drawn and quartered for what he did! A bullet was far too quick and easy for him.'

‘They're all pretty busy,' Paul said, changing the subject. ‘ They are expanding the business. In fact when I get out of this outfit I might just join them.'

‘You!'

‘Why not? After all, a quarter of La Maison Blanche and the Agency are mine by right and since they were used as collateral then I should think that morally I have a right to be counted in on the rest. And a pretty big rest it looks like being. Bernard is very ambitious and he's good at spotting the main chance too.'

‘Really?' Viv said thoughtfully.

‘Really. Now, if you've finished your fish and chips do you want me to see you back to your digs or shall we go for a walk first?'

‘Oh a walk!' Viv said. The excitement was singing in her veins again. ‘Definitely a walk!'

Nicky pulled down the blinds at the front of the Tourist Agency, locked the door and wheeled himself back into the office. Once there he retrieved the letter which had come with the eleven o'clock delivery from where he had pushed it down the side of his chair between seat and arm and spread it out on his knee. He didn't want to read it again. He wished he'd never read it at all. Yet it held a kind of awful fascination for him, a twisting of the knife so painful yet so strangely addictive that he knew he would read it again not just once but many times until it was imprinted on his heart.

Paul and Viv. Viv and Paul. They were together now. God, how it hurt!

He'd known, of course, when she had left for England, that he had lost her. He had known it would not be long before she found someone else and he had made himself think about it over and over hoping that the pain would be blunted by familiarity. And it had been a little. He had almost come to accept the inevitability of it. She would find someone else. But he had not expected that someone to be Paul.

Nicky's face darkened. A nameless unknown lover – yes, he could just about take that. But Paul! Christ, no! That he could not stand.

Nicky screwed the letter into a ball and hurled it across the room. Then he clenched his fists, striking at the arms of his chair, his face contorted with agony.

He'll bring her here, I suppose, home to Jersey. I'll have to watch them together, know he's taking my girl to bed, hear her called ‘Mrs Carteret' and know it's not my name but his … I don't believe she could do this to me … I don't believe it!

A rapping at the door cut through his misery. A customer? He didn't want to see anyone just now. ‘I'm sorry, we're closed!' he called. His voice was thick and blurred.

‘Nicky?' It was Sophia's voice, anxious-sounding. ‘Are you there? What's the matter?'

Nicky swore. He couldn't just send Sophia away. He wheeled his chair over to the door. The moment he turned the key, she opened it and put her head round.

‘Nicky? Why did you have the door locked?'

His eyes, haunted, slid over her. ‘Where are the children?'

‘Catherine is looking after them. Why? What's the matter, Nicky? You look dreadful, as if you'd seen a ghost!'

‘Maybe I have.' He laughed shortly. ‘Have you heard from Paul lately?'

‘No. I expect he's kept pretty busy.'

‘Not too busy to get off with Viv.'

‘What are you talking about?'

‘My brother and my girl. Priceless, isn't it?'

‘Oh Nicky, I'm sure you're wrong …'

‘I'm not wrong. Read it for yourself – that's the letter – over there, screwed up. Why did he write to me here I'd like to know? Why
here
?'

Sophia retrieved the letter, smoothed it out and read, her face setting grimly.

‘You see?' he said when she had finished. ‘I didn't imagine it, did I? Paul and Viv. What do you think of that?'

‘What can I say? I'm as shocked as you are.'

‘Are you? Well I can't say I am. Not really. I've been half expecting something of the sort. But it doesn't make it any damned easier, especially when it's my own brother.' He buried his head in his hands. ‘Oh Sophia, I really love her. I know I‘ve got nothing to offer her now but I did really love her. I'd do anything for her – anything she asked. Except watch her with Paul.'

‘Oh Nicky, I'm sure it won't come to that. Paul would have more tact than to bring her here …'

The outer door opened and Catherine came in holding Louis by the hand.

‘What on earth is the matter?' she asked.

‘Nicky has had a letter from Paul. He and Viv are together. Nicky is very upset.'

‘Oh pooh!' Catherine said with rude exuberance. ‘Who cares about, her? She's not worth upsetting yourself over, Nicky. I should say Paul is welcome to her, and more fool he! After all he knows all about it. He knows what she did … what sort of a girl she is.'

‘What are you talking about, Catherine?'

‘Well Viv of course, and the abortion. I think it was a terrible thing to do under the circumstances. I mean, supposing you'd never come home? I know it would have been difficult for her but at least she'd have had something of you left.' She broke off, staring in horror at Nicky's stricken face. ‘You didn't know.'

‘Catherine!' Sophia groaned.

‘Know what?' Nicky demanded tersely. ‘ What didn't I know? I think you'd better explain yourself.'

‘Oh Nicky … I …' Catherine faltered.

‘Go on. An abortion, I think you said.'

‘Well – yes … it was after you went away, right at the beginning of the war … at least, that's what Paul said …'

‘
Paul
told you this?' he demanded.

‘Well, yes … he said …'

‘You're telling me Viv had had an abortion and he knew? He knew about my baby and I didn't … it was my baby, I take it?'

‘I suppose so,' Catherine said miserably. ‘I honestly thought you knew, Nicky. Paul said she would have told you. I'd never have said anything if I'd thought for a moment …'

‘But you never do think do you?' Sophia interjected angrily. ‘How could you be so stupid, Catherine?'

‘A conspiracy of silence.' Nicky's voice was low and bitter. ‘I take it you knew too, Sophia?'

‘Well … yes. Paul mentioned something about it when Viv went away but we don't know any details.'

‘I see. Wonderful, isn't it? Everybody, it seems, knew except me – and it was my baby! What else don't I know? And why did she tell Paul? Was there something going on between them then? Has he been making a fool of me all these years?'

‘Nicky, please – no one has made a fool of you!' Sophia said, distressed. ‘Certainly not Paul.'

‘Then why didn't he tell
me
what he knew? And how did he know about it anyway?'

‘Obviously she must have told him,' Sophia said. ‘And I suppose he didn't tell you because he didn't think it was his place to tell you. One would have expected Viv to do that herself. You were living at her house after all. I can't understand why she didn't tell you if she'd told Paul.'

‘Clearly she felt closer to him than she did to me,' Nicky said bitterly. ‘What a bloody fool I've been!'

There was a strained silence, then Catherine blurted: ‘ I've got to go. I'm due at the dentist's in ten minutes.' She was flushed and flustered, close to tears.

Sophia nodded. ‘ Yes, you go on Catherine. Is Robin …'

‘In his pram, outside. I'm really sorry, Nicky …'

Nicky did not answer. Sophia followed Catherine to the door, checking on Robin, who was fast asleep. Louis was busily turning out a drawer in the outer office, playing with the paper clips and rubber bands he found there and she left him to it.

‘I don't know what to say, Nicky. Catherine … oh, she's such a blabbermouth! Will she never learn?'

‘Don't blame her. She was only telling the truth. More than the rest of you have done.' He looked up, his face cold and blank. ‘ I suggest you go too, Sophia. I'm sure you've got plenty of things you should be doing.'

‘But I can't leave you like this …'

‘Why not? I'm quite capable of running this office. Good God, I have to be fit for something!'

‘But …'

‘Oh go on, Sophia, leave me alone! Can't you see I just want to be left alone?'

‘Come on, Louis,' Sophia said quietly, thinking that perhaps for the moment it was the best thing. But in the doorway she looked back at him, sitting there hunched in his chair, not looking at her, not looking at anything, and her heart contracted with pain and anger.

Damn Catherine and her loose tongue! Damn the war that had done this to her beloved brother! And most of all damn Viv Moran! If she had ever loved him at all how could she possibly have hurt him like this?

After they had gone Nicky locked the office door again. For a long while he sat staring into space and thinking about what his sisters had told him. Viv had been pregnant with his baby and she had got rid of it. The only child he would ever father. The only woman he would ever love. The pain was a roaring wind inside him, devouring him. He rode it for as long as he could bear it but there was a darkness closing in from the edges of his mind. Ever since Dunkirk he had lived in a far from satisfactory present with no real hope for a future, now the one thing left to him – his memories of the past – had been raped and looted. The darkness closed in still further and with it a strange stillness. Nicky wheeled himself over to the filing cabinet and took out the bottle of whisky he kept hidden there. His pain killing tablets were in the top drawer of his desk; he got out the bottle and tipped it out on to the blotter. A whole new prescription and more … the ones he had saved just in case a day like this ever came when he could not bear to go on any longer. Nicky wheeled himself over to the window and pulled down the blind. Then he poured a full tumblerful of whisky, put the first tablets into his mouth and swallowed them.

Sophia and Bernard found him late that evening. Worried when he did not come home, they went down town to the office and found it apparently locked up for the night. But when they opened the door with a spare key and went inside they found Nicky there. His wheelchair was drawn up to his desk and he had slumped forward across it. When she saw the whisky bottle and glass Sophia almost sobbed with relief – he had been drinking to drown his sorrows.

‘Nicky! What a state to get in!'

But Bernard had seen the empty tablet bottle; he grabbed Nicky's wrist, feeling for a pulse, and yelling at Sophia to phone for an ambulance.

‘Why?' She was trembling uncontrollably. ‘He's only drunk, isn't he? Bernard …'