Dating A Silver Fox (Never Too Late) (39 page)

Lydia laughed. “I quite understand, Darling. Eat now. Hug later.”

Lauren laughed, took a giant bite, and groaned in happiness.

“So, Regina—I took your advice and confronted the ‘seducing bitch’ in Morrie’s life,” Lydia said, patting Lauren on the back when she started to choke. “Slowly, Lauren. I know you’re starved, but you can’t devour the entire sandwich in two or three bites.”

Regina grinned as Alexa looked off trying to keep a straight face. “How did that confrontation go for you? I’m asking as a friend of course.”

Lydia laughed at Regina’s teasing.

“Well, it wasn’t as good as what you did to your man-stealer, but I did get to feel a set of breast implants. Did you know they feel just like the real thing, only a bit more firm?” Lydia asked.

“No, I didn’t know that. Guess I’ve never really felt another woman’s breasts before,” Regina said carefully, letting out a laugh, which in turn let Alexa join in without looking bad. She watched gleefully as Lauren lowered the half-devoured burger to her plate, staring at her mother in shock.

Regina laughed again, feeling righteousness. She had refused to tell Lauren any details of her last discussion with Lydia. As far as Regina was concerned, the shock was a just punishment for emotionally tying her up in knots.

Lydia pursed her lips and shrugged. “To tell you the truth, I’m just grateful Morrie’s phone was old and didn’t have a camera. The crass idiot was actually turned on by watching me grope Dorothy Henderson’s fake breasts. It’s no wonder I stayed away from men most of my life.”

When Regina and Alexa laughed, Lydia felt something new and wonderful blossoming.

Friendship, she thought.

What an amazing feeling to laugh with other women who didn’t judge you. No wonder Lauren had refused to give them up.

“Maybe I’m just old and naive, but I just don’t think it would do much for me to watch Morrie and some other guy playing battle of the Tall Tommies. Maybe I should ask him to try it. That would probably stop his teasing quick enough,” Lydia declared.

Lauren’s coughing fit brought an abrupt halt to the conversation as Lydia patted her back in concern. “Honey, you can’t be that hungry. Please slow down. Merciful heavens, your husband will feed you again later. I swear it.”

“Lauren, you know these people,” Alexa said, coming to the rescue again before her friend choked to death listening to her no longer stoic mother joke about sex. “Who’s the hunky guy down by the pool’s edge, and what’s his deal with the leggy brunette?”

Lauren took her mother’s bottle of water and tried to wash down her embarrassment, along with the burger that was becoming harder to eat.

“That’s Walter Graham. Walter has a thing for Morrie’s daughter, Jane. She’s thirty-eight. He’s. . .” Lauren looked at her mother.

“Walter is twenty-six,” Lydia supplied, glad to be helpful.

“She thinks he’s too young,” Lauren finished.

“For what?” Alexa asked, amusement in her tone. “His eyes are sexually mature. He’s not going to lose his way with the lights out.”

Lauren laughed and shook her head. “I believe Jane wants more from a relationship than sex. Walter’s not marriage material—at least in her mind.”

“And yet Walter has asked her to marry him. I heard him. I also heard her accept. She thought he was teasing,” Lydia said. “She’ll learn.”

“Was he teasing? What do you think, Lydia?” Regina asked, grinning at Allen smiling at Jane as they talked, and Walter frowning at Jane smiling back at an equally hunky weight lifter.

“Walter is a Graham. I think they’re both in for some surprises when they find their way to each other,” Lydia said, grinning back at the woman she was beginning to think of as a friend.

“Well said,” Regina declared, happy when she made Lydia laugh.

“Don’t listen to her, Mother. Regina thinks she knows everything,” Lauren said snidely, not sure if she liked Regina and her mother getting all chummy anyway. “I think she just makes it all up and gets lucky.”

Regina turned and gave Lauren a glare. “Okay, Ms. Doubter. Pay attention, but this is the last time I show my expertise to you. Never ask me again if you’re not willing to learn to use your eyes.”

At the sound of Lauren’s laughter, Regina turned back to the scene she’d been watching escalate for the last hour. Any moment now the male she’d been studying was going to make his move.

“Notice how the outdoor patio mimics the wild, with all of nature represented in the human species we are observing. Look at the far end of the pool, there’s a family of our favorite animal milling about in the water. It appears to be—why yes it is—a young male of the species with his offspring, teaching the young ones not to drown. What a good father he is!”

Regina’s cooing descriptions delivered with a wildlife announcer inflection started all of the women snickering.

“Looking on is obviously an elder in the crowd, likely thinking of his glory days as he watches his progeny growing before his eyes. He knows his time is running short as leader in the pack, and yet fears not for his legacy—well except for one of his kind. One lone male among them all has sadly not yet found a mate.”

“
One
?” Lauren asked, already having lost track.

“Yes, one…do try to pay attention, Lauren. Regina is talking about Walter now,” Lydia exclaimed. “Now shush and let Regina tell the story.”

Alexa laughed at Lydia’s chastisement, and Regina grinned.

“Yes…young Walter. A male in his prime looking for a mate, but wait. Look—over by the side of the water. Is that what it appears to be? Why yes! It’s a prime female—one unattached, I believe, even though she seems to be practicing her nurturing skills as she waits to be claimed. Even now she is winding her way to one of the young ones, toddling too close to the edge. Fearing for the toddler, she scoops him away from potential danger. . .”

“Good luck with that,” Lydia said dryly. “JD thrives on it. And that boy is not afraid of the pool. I’ve fished him out twice myself. I keep telling them they need a fence around it.”

“Shush. . .” Regina ordered, laughing as she got into the story. “Don’t make any sudden noises. What’s happening now? Could this be the male mating ritual we’re about to observe? Why yes it is
and
we’re going to get to see it. How honored we are to be observing this prime male finally making his courting move. Having observed the female’s suitability for mating from her rescue of the toddler, he looks around and decides that he has to come up with some exceptional way to gain her full attention from the other males, to declare he alone is fit to be the ultimate mate for her. But how will he accomplish such a feat?”

The women tittered and giggled.

“Quiet now. . .we don’t want to spook him. He’s standing. He’s walking. Yes—look as he strips the shirt from his massive body, flexing his muscles as he walks the dangerous edge of the water. Oh my…how fortunate we are to be witnessing this revealing moment. There’s a jump, a twist, and yes…the male displays what a magnificent force to be reckoned with he is. And notice as he cleaves the water with his hunky body, the female of his longing follows him with her gaze, the child in her arms all but forgotten as she dreams of another child she will one day have with the prime male.”

Lydia and Alexa clapped and hooted for Regina, until Lauren reluctantly gave in and joined them.

“So there Mrs. Gallagher is my secret knowledge. Men flaunt themselves in a very significant way to the woman they are truly interested in, and you can see it if you’re paying close attention. And that, ladies, is how true mating always begins,” Regina finished with a laugh as they clapped and cheered again.

Then they clapped even harder when the very wet and sexy Walter climbed out of the pool, water draining in rivulets off his corded muscles, molding his swim trunks to his hips to reveal his secrets despite the growing frowns of pretty much all the other men.

He either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Instead, sexy Walter grinned and bowed at the applause from their end of the Olympic sized pool, and they all knew the young man arrogantly assumed the accolades were all for him.

Fascinated, they watched Walter’s gaze leaving them and going over and over to Jane to see if she was still watching, which she was, of course. Jane hadn’t looked away since the moment he had removed his shirt.

“One day you’re going to be wrong, Regina. I sure hope I get to see it,” Lauren declared, wincing when her mother slapped her arm. “
Ouch
—what was that for?”

“Don’t talk so disrespectfully to your friends,” Lydia ordered.

Alexa and Regina buried their faces behind their hands to hide their laughter at the furious glare Lauren sent in their direction.

Turning away from her torturers who Lauren concluded didn’t care about her trauma, she looked at her mother’s smiling face now turned towards a man in the middle of the outstanding pack of males in their group, all various shapes and sizes, but all wonderful in their own way.

Morrie waved and sent her mother a knowing wink when he noticed her looking. Her mother giggled and waved back. Both reactions were equally hard to believe, even though she was watching them happen.

“Darling—I almost forgot to tell you. Morrie and I are going to California soon,” Lydia said, rising from the lounger.

“Taking a vacation?” Lauren asked, beyond surprised, but trying not to show it.

“Mostly,” Lydia said vaguely, patting her daughter’s arm and rising to leave before Lauren could ask for more details. “Let me go see if I get the men to put a rush on those burgers. I could have cooked enough in the kitchen for everyone by now.

Lauren nodded at the strange woman who kept swearing she was her mother. She wondered how long it was going to take to get used to Lydia McCarthy’s transformation into a nice person and pretty great mother.

“Lydia and Morrie seem happy together, don’t you think?” Regina asked Lauren, putting her sunglasses back on.

“Yes—I guess they do,” Lauren said, narrowing her eyes at Regina hiding hers. “Wait—you know what’s going on, don’t you? Just what kind of trip are they taking to California, Dr. Logan? Just what kind of kinky stuff are you telling Morrie to do to
my mother
?”

“Holy crap, Lauren. Are you listening to yourself? How should I know what kind of vacation trip they’re taking? I’m not their damn travel agent,” Regina exclaimed. “I only get directly involved in my client’s personal lives when I’m emotionally blackmailed into doing so by my best friends. And by the way, you’re welcome for me going to talk to your mother at her freaking house—
not that it was difficult or anything
.”

Lauren snickered. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be bitchy. I am grateful. I can see you helped her.”

Alexa laughed. “You know, I’m starting to think I need to send Casey to Regina for some counseling. Jim told Casey your mother and Morrie had a whole bunch of pillows in the living room floor and were hiding sex manuals they were reading together. If he’s read your books, I bet Morrison Fox is as good in bed as Ben,” Alexa declared.

“Oh hell no,” Regina said on a laugh. “But that’s all I’m saying about the matter.”

“You not saying anything? Yeah—like that’s a big surprise. You never say
anything
, Regina. You just don’t want anyone to know but you,” Lauren declared, trying not to sound petulant and failing miserably. “Oh my god, I just heard myself. I’m totally emotional and whacked out. This baby has got to be a girl. Good, because I’m quitting after this one, even if it’s another boy. But I bet it’s not. It better be a freaking girl.”

Alexa burst out laughing at Lauren’s tirade and Regina smacked her on the arm.

“You are an instigator,” Regina declared. “Leave Lauren and her baby hormones alone. Hell—leave me alone.”

“It’s not my fault you two are so easy to tease,” Alexa said, watching Jane coming closer. “Oh look, a new victim. Hello, Jane! I’m Alexa and we haven’t properly met. Come pull up a chair next to me. You and I need to have a talk about your younger man. We’ve been watching Walter trying desperately to get your attention. He’s quite entertaining in his efforts.”

Jane laughed softly, embarrassed as she looked at the three women spread out in lounge chairs. Alexa was the oldest, but you couldn’t tell it with that body of hers. “If I looked like you, I might think I could handle holding Walter’s attention for more than the fifteen wonderful minutes he seems like he might be.”

“Yes. But a man that age is fifteen wonderful now, and then fifteen more later. And probably fifteen more in the middle of the night—every night,” Alexa said. “Trust me, I know of what I speak.”

Jane laughed. “You are even more outrageous than Lydia warned me you were. Actually, I just came over here to tell Dr. Logan that my father is her biggest fan. And I personally wanted to say thank you for all you’ve done to help him.”

Regina laughed. “Call me Regina, and I like your father too. Lydia is a very lucky woman. Any man who can quote James Joyce is a real catch these days.”

Jane laughed. “Ah—James Joyce. Yes, don’t remind me. I got that lecture the last time I went to lunch with Dad. For the record, he also likes Lydia’s ass. I know because he told me right after the James Joyce lecture. And now that I’m spilling my guts, I’m also wishing I’d stayed at the other end of the pool with Allen, Talia, and Jenna. They’re obviously more my speed.”