Date Shark (37 page)

The last sentence had a rather nasty tone to it, despite the fact that Eli’s previous attempts at girlfriends were also nice women. Still, even Eli had not thought Leila capable of making such an impression on his mother. “Is that so?” he asked.

“Yes, we’ve had several good talks. I like her. It makes me…
happy
,” she said, her last word passing her lips with considerable difficulty.

Astounded that she could feel even a disgruntled kind of happiness about her son being in a relationship was almost too much, but something else had impacted him even more. He struggled to speak, to ask, “Wait, several talks? You mean, Leila has visited you more than once?”

His mother looked at him with an incredulous expression. “She visits me every week.”

Eli sat back in his chair, utterly floored. It took him quite a while to process this revelation and consider what his response should be. He knew he could lie and spare himself from having to deal with his mother in a distressed state. Telling himself it would only set back her progress was almost enough to convince him to keep up the charade. It was such a tempting idea, but lies and manipulation were what had ruined his relationship with his mother in the first place.

“Mom, I’m glad you like Leila, but she may not be visiting you anymore,” Eli said.

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Why not?”

“Because …” Eli hedged, no longer sure this was a good idea. His mother’s insistent gaze would not let him escape. He sighed. “Because Leila and I are not together anymore.”

Eli did not expect his mother to get angry, but that was exactly what happened. She screwed up her face like a petulant child. “What do you mean you aren’t together anymore? What did you do?”

“I …” Eli paused, truly considering what he had done wrong. The answer was much too obvious. “I was too slow, too careful. I waited too long to tell her how I felt about her and she slipped away.”

“She left you?” his mother asked. She seemed incredulous.

Without explaining that Leila was never actually his girlfriend in the first place, giving an accurate account of what had happened was impossible. Eli settled for saying, “She didn’t leave me so much as chose someone else.”

“Why would she choose anyone else over my Eli?” his mother demanded.

Eli sunk into his chair and scrubbed his hands through his hair roughly. “I kept her at a distance because I thought it was the smart thing to do. I was too blind to realize she wanted more, and I lost her.”

“You’re just going to let her go?” his mother asked, gaping at him.

“Yes.”

She shook her head at him. “Why?”

“Because I promised myself I would.”
I promised several others as well
, Eli thought. And he knew he couldn’t disappoint them. He hoped to lose as few friends as possible because of his foolishness.

“But, Eli,” his mother cried, clearly distraught, “don’t you love her? How can you let her go?”

A sharp pain radiated from the center of Eli’s chest. He pretended the pain was what brought tears to his eyes and not the agony of being without Leila. “Yes, I love her very much, but that’s why I have to say goodbye. She’s happy without me, and I love her enough to step back and let her be happy.”

“But you won’t be happy,” his mother said softly. She reached for his hand and wrapped his trembling fingers around his.

The motherly gesture broke his composure. His face crumbled. Hot tears burned behind his closed eyelids. “No,” he said, “I won’t be happy, not like I was with her.”

Another shroud of silence fell. This one heavier and more difficult to bear than anything previous. It was so oppressive, Eli soon found the simple act of breathing to be too difficult. He wanted to escape, bury himself in his apartment and wallow. Only the quiet simpering of his mother crying broke through his melancholy. He looked up to see her shaking with one hand pressed to her mouth.

“Mom, it’s okay. Please don’t cry,” he begged.

“I did this,” she cried. “This is my fault.”

Being that Eli had no idea what his mother might have said to Leila, he wasn’t able to immediately dismiss her claim. He asked, “What do you mean?”

“I smothered you so much that now you push people away from you. Leila obviously cared about you very much, but now she’s gone because you wouldn’t give her what she needed.” Her sadness deepened. “This is my fault,” she wept.

Some other part of Eli’s brain took over his body then. He felt his hand gently pat his mother’s in an effort to console her, but his mind was elsewhere. It was considering her words very carefully. All the time he had spent with Leila he had planned the perfect ways to guide her. He presumed to know what was best for her and trusted himself that his only motivation for keeping her at a distance was so he could give her room to grow. What if it wasn’t?

Was his mother right? Had he kept Leila at a distance because he was afraid of smothering her, or being smothered? It was such a startling thought, Eli was sure he would ponder it for a long time, but whether it was true or not, he knew it didn’t matter. Leila was gone.

“Mom, please don’t be upset. Everything will be all right.” It was him soothing her after that. A familiar role for him, but he was strong enough not to be pulled under by the need to save her. He proved his strength the next time she spoke.

“I’ll miss talking to Leila, but you’ll still come visit me, right, Eli?” The glassy hope in her eyes was difficult to look away from.

“I’ll visit again,” he said.

“When,” she demanded. “What time will you come? I need to know each day so Dr. Evans doesn’t try to schedule any tests or therapy sessions during those times. I don’t want to miss your visits. Nothing else is as important as seeing you.”

Tension sprang into Eli’s body at the first hint of her effort to lasso him with her control again. “Mom, I can’t, and won’t come to visit you every day. Aside from the fact that I am busy with my practice and research, it wouldn’t be good for either of us. Seeing you is still very hard for me. I can’t commit to a set schedule. I need time.”

“But you will come?” she begged, almost frantic.

“Yes,” Eli said warily, “I’ll come. I promise.”

Knowing that her son was a man of his word, her mounting hysteria lessened. She wasn’t happy by far, but she was controlling herself as best she could. It was tenuous, though, so Eli took that as his cue to leave. Saying goodbye was more difficult for her than it was for him. Eli needed to escape, to process everything his visit had stirred in him. He rushed out of her strangling hug, and out of the room. Dr. Evans followed quietly.

He didn’t speak right away. He gave Eli the moment he needed to shake off the effect his mother had on him. When Eli’s shoulders relaxed to their natural position and his jaw unclenched, Dr. Evans spoke. “Thank you for coming, Eli.”

“Is she always so … almost normal?” Eli asked.

Dr. Evans shook his head. “No, unfortunately. She still has plenty of bad days, and her physical health continues to decline, but today … just be grateful she was having a good day. I know this wasn’t easy for you.”

That was a severe understatement. “I will come back … but it won’t be right away.”

“I understand,” Dr. Evans said, “and on some level, so does she. She’ll be alright until you’re ready to see her again.”

Eli nodded with relief. He still bore a significant amount of anger toward his mother, but he had no desire to cause her intentional pain. There had already been enough of that doled out. Eli thanked him for all his help and turned to leave. Dr. Evans caught his arm before he made it more than a few steps. Eli looked back, concerned.

“Eli, I’m sorry about Leila. She was a lovely young woman.”

Trying desperately to shove away that deep-seated ache, Eli nodded. “I’m sorry, too.”

He made it to his car without any further interruption, and without breaking down. The latter he considered a major accomplishment.

One glance at the dashboard display told Eli he only had an hour before lunch. He dreaded the idea of going, but he intended to follow through. First, he had a few text messages to send. He was, after all, a man of his word.

Conrad’s number came up first and Eli started typing.
You were right. It’s over.

Ana’s number was called up next. Eli hesitated much longer before typing this message. It was harder than with Conrad to express everything he needed to say.
She made her choice. I’m backing off as promised. I wish things had turned out differently. Thank you for the dresses. I hope she likes them. The last one…
he paused, not knowing what to say. The last dress, he had planned everything around that dress. He had been so sure his plans had not been laid in vain.
Don’t use it
, he finished.

The texts sent, he didn’t wait for a reply. He didn’t want to read their responses. Eli quickly pulled up a third number. Leila’s. It broke his heart to hold his finger over her name and watch the menu come up. There were many options available to him, but only one he could choose. His fingertip hovered over the word
Delete
. Actually cutting Leila out of his life gave him pause. But he had promised. Pressing down, her name and number disappeared. He blocked her number from making any calls to him. The locksmith should have completed his work by now, as well. It was done.

His fingers danced across the screen to bring up one more name. He completed the call before he let himself reconsider. If he didn’t put Leila firmly out of his mind right now, he knew he never would. The phone rang twice before being picked up with a cheerful hello.

“Sabine,” Eli said, “are we still on for lunch?”

Chapter 29

Defeated

The real chaos had not yet begun, but the backstage area was still humming with the intensity of busy bodies and scattered minds. Rack upon rack of clothing lined the walls. It had taken Leila all morning to get everything in the right order. She grimaced as she set the last garment in place, knowing that as soon as the models started fishing around for their outfits it would all be in disarray ten seconds later. She had no control over that, though, so she turned her attention to the mountain of shoe boxes in desperate need of organization.

Two of the three interns scrambled past her with boxes of jewelry and accessories and started lying everything out in what Leila hoped was the correct sequence. The third intern appeared a few seconds later carrying another pile of shoe boxes. Leila groaned, then became confused.

“What are those for?” she demanded. “I catalogued all the shoes two days ago. Those shouldn’t be back here.”

“Ana said I should bring them back,” the intern said with a mixture of courage and uncertainty.

Leila stood and stomped over to the girl. If Ana was trying to shake things up at the last minute, Leila had half a mind to storm out in protest. She snatched the first shoe box off the pile the girl was holding and whisked off the lid. When she saw the dainty summer sandal she became even more confused. The design looked familiar, but she knew it didn’t belong in the show.

“Where did these come from?” Leila asked.

The intern looked around uncertainly. “Um, they got here last night. With a whole bunch of dresses.”

“What? We weren’t expecting anymore clothes,” Leila said. What on earth was Ana doing?

“Ana was expecting them,” the girl offered. “She was super excited to see them. I thought she was going to start dancing right there in the loading bay.”

Leila rubbed her fingers against her temples. Everything was planned. Ana couldn’t possibly be trying to throw in a bunch of unknown gowns at the last minute. There was no way. Deciding to get this cleared up right away, Leila commandeered the entire pile of shoeboxes from the intern and stormed off to find Ana. It proved to be a bit of a search, but she eventually found her upstairs in the design loft. She was walking out from behind her private screened off corner when Leila breached the loft.

“Leila!” she exclaimed, looking unusually panicked. “What are you doing up here? Is everything all right?”

Throwing off her boss’s odd behavior, Leila barreled forward with the reason she was there. “What is going on with these shoes? And what’s this I hear about a load of dresses being dropped off last night? You can’t possibly be thinking of adding anything right now! Whatever this new stuff is, it isn’t even in the program! You can’t throw something like this at me eight hours before the show.”

Ana’s eyes had grown progressively wider with each word. They were practically bugging out of her head. She darted forward and threw the lids off the top few boxes. Groaning at the sight of them, her hands dropped to their sides. “I told Bali to take them to the loft, not the dressing room. That girl doesn’t listen to a word I say!”

Not knowing the hapless intern well enough to make a judgment, Leila stayed focus on her task. “Where did these shoes come from?”

For some reason, Ana laughed. She giggled, actually, like a school girl with a secret. “Well, I guess the cat’s already out of the bag. Don’t you recognize them?” she asked.

Leila’s face scrunched with confusion. She knew, quite intimately, every piece of clothing, jewelry, and accessory slated for that night’s show. The shoes were not supposed to be there. But … they did look familiar. She couldn’t think of why when she first saw them, but now the reason was sinking in.

Dumping the boxes on the nearest table, Leila tore off every lid. The white summer sandals, the yellow silk heels with sapphire detail, the lavender kitten heels with the broad strap, the black t-straps with satin braid up the center. She knew every shoe she was staring at, because they were hers. A wave of excitement began rushing through her, but it slammed into a brick wall as a thought occurred to her.

“Where did you get these designs?” she squeaked.

Ana took a deep breath and held her hands up defensively. “Don’t freak out, but Eli … well, he kind of stole them. And gave them to me.”

“What?” Leila asked, her voice barely audible over her shock. Why would he do something like that? Those were private. She specifically asked him not to
ever
mention them to Ana. Why, why, why?