Darkyn's Mate (#3, Rhyn Eternal) (17 page)

They both looked at her. She flushed,
wondering how many people were interested in her fate. She seemed
unable to keep secrets from anyone.

“I know,” she said.

“Darkyn loses no time claiming his victory,”
Zamon said. “Brash young demon.”

“You win,” Fate told Zamon.

“You had a deal about me?” she asked with a
frown.

“Hell runs off deals,” Zamon replied. “Fate
said he would conquer you, but you couldn’t conquer him. I said a
creature who has never known peace will surrender unconditionally
when he tastes it for the first time. Past-Death offered him a
private deal before she died-dead and before my retirement.” His
dark gaze was steady, cunning.

Her mouth dropped open.

“She offered him something that was never
before attainable. He is a fearless opportunist who has always
wanted to be a god, and the deal was unofficial. If any part of it
displeased him, he was able to cancel it. The terms were right,”
Zamon continued.

“Past-Death offered him me, the deity’s mate
she created, the only chance he had for a mate like every other
deity,” she said.

“Yes,” Zamon said. “His lust for blood, war
and women is insatiable. It made him powerful but drove him beyond
madness and nearly destroyed my domain. Twice, though the first
time is not common knowledge. Can you not see the appeal of a
source of appeasement to a creature older than time?”

“I can,” she replied.

It was hard to imagine something that fed
off depravity wanted peace. He’d pursued her with the cunningness
he was known for. Their interactions weren’t what she’d generally
considered normal, but she was able to see the moment Fate warned
her of, when Darkyn decided to keep her. It was the night he
provoked her and forced her to say the words that brought her world
crashing down.

I’m yours, Darkyn.

“You’re his father. How did you lose your
deal?” she asked Zamon.

“He knew me better,” Zamon replied. “He was
stronger.”

“Wow. Okay,” she murmured, alarmed every
time she learned more about why people feared Darkyn. “What did you
win in your deal about me?”

“Nothing but the satisfaction of victory,”
Zamon said, grinning. “I am forbidden from creating deals with
material outcomes.”

“For my part, I simply wanted you to
survive,” Fate told her.

“Whatever,” she said and rolled her eyes at
him.

Deidre.
The summons made her tense. She didn’t recognize
the voice, but she saw the shadow world.

“I’ve gotta go,” she said, dreading another
interaction that got her in trouble with Darkyn yet grateful to
flee the two creatures that were currently terrifying her. She
called a portal when she stepped into the hallway to see who
awaited her.

Past-Death.

Deidre hesitated then stepped into the
in-between place. Past-Death’s features were pale, her blond hair
pulled back into a ponytail. She was dressed comfortably in jeans
and a light sweater. She looked far different than Deidre recalled.
It wasn’t her physical appearance; it was the shimmer of
uncertainty and worry around her, emotions the deity hadn’t been
capable of.

“Hello,” Deidre said.

“Hello,” Past-Death replied. “My gods, what
happened to you? Darkyn turned you into a sex-demon?”

“I guess if you give a man the ability to
build his own mate, he’ll make her a tramp.” Deidre rolled her
eyes.

Past-Death gave a startled laugh.

“You called me?” Deidre asked. She looked
down and crossed her arms, chilled in the shadow world but also
uncertain what to expect. Their first and only exchange hadn’t been
pleasant. She was torn between anger and pity for Gabriel’s mate
right now.

“I guess I wanted to see how you’re
faring.”

Darkyn’s lie detector skill gave Deidre a
tingling at the base of her skull that she took to be a red
flag.

“Weird, but good,” she replied. “You?”

“You’re doing good.” Past-Death’s smile was
puzzled. “I’m really glad to hear it.”

“You mean surprised?” Deidre murmured.

“No. I mean, yes, I am surprised, but I’m
also glad,” Past-Death said. “I, uh, know now what I did wasn’t the
best route to take. You must hate me.”

“I don’t.”

An awkward silence fell.

“How can I help you?” Deidre asked.
Past-Death’s smile faded. Deidre noticed the circles under her
eyes, and her air was agitated. She could almost guess what was
wrong but remained quiet.

“I’m pretty sure no one can,” Past-Death
admitted. She cleared her throat. “I’m failing miserably. Darkyn
stripped my power when I left Hell. I thought it’d be easy. I mean
you humans … I guess you make it look simple. You know I couldn’t
figure out how to turn on the shower? I won’t tell you how
fascinating I find kitchen appliances.”

Deidre smiled. She’d never paid much
attention to appliances but imagined they might be intriguing to
someone who had never seen them before.

“I’m just not getting some things,”
Past-Death said. She paused, sighing. “Like emotions. I never knew
there were so many. I don’t know how to control them or to make
decisions when they’re always there just confusing me.”

“You’re starting from scratch,” Deidre
observed, pitying the woman. “You have to go easier on yourself.
Take time to learn the new things and try not be so frustrated with
yourself.”

Deidre stared at her. “How can you be so …
nice?”

Deidre’s face flushed with heat.

“I mean, you’re in Hell maybe even being
torn to pieces every day and you’re being kind to me. I don’t
understand any of this.”

“I guess I pity you.”

Gabriel’s mate blushed.

“Why did you want to see me now?” Deidre
asked, her new instincts warning her of an attempt at deception.
“You could’ve checked up on me at any point.”

Past-Death considered.

“I’m not sure,” she replied. “I guess I was
afraid to see what I’d done. I kept hoping things would just go
well. I told Gabe about what I did to you yesterday, and he walked
out on me.”

“That’s rough,” Deidre murmured.

“I’m fucking up everything,” Past-Death
continued. “He came back but he’s barely speaking to me. Like he’s
there but I’m not.”

“I remember the cold shoulder. He’s good at
pushing people away.”

“I figured I had nothing to lose now. I
might as well see what all I’d fucked up,” Past-Death finished. “I
wanted to check on you. If you were alive, I wanted to see if you
had any … advice about how to deal with Gabriel.”

Advice.
Deidre was being asked by the woman who stole her
lover and her destiny for
advice.
Was the Dark One laughing at her right now? There
were days when she wished she was more like him, capable of great
evil. Or at least, capable of revenge. Because she wasn’t. She felt
too bad for the former goddess to walk away.

She took a deep breath.

“Well, first, you didn’t fuck me over. I
thought you did at first and I’ll admit, I’m not completely certain
things might not break bad, but for now, I’m fine. Darkyn hasn’t
hurt me and won’t. Look.” She turned to show her tattoos.

“Oh my god!” Past-Death
exclaimed. “He
blood
-bound you! That crafty son of a bitch!”

“In case I win our deal.” Deidre said
without thinking. Embarrassed, she cleared her throat. “Sorry.
Seems kinda tacky to bring it up.”

“No.” Past-Death shook her head. “I knew
he’d figure out something. Never guessed that. He’s not someone who
bows to others, and a blood-bond is pretty serious, considering you
were already mates. I can’t imagine the impact of both on him when
one is more than enough.”

Deidre still didn’t quite believe the others
were right. Rhyn claimed the same thing, but she definitely didn’t
feel as though she had any influence over Darkyn. She wouldn’t be
so terrified of him, if she did. Then again, would he tell her, if
she did? She had no real way of knowing.

“That explains the fangs. So jealous,”
Past-Death added. “Sexy.”

Damn fangs.
She had forgotten not to smile and to keep her
lips closed together. Deidre looked away, self-conscious about
being turned into a demon.

“Anyway,” she mumbled. “I’m glad you told
Gabriel the truth. We talked after you told him.”

“He came to see you.” Past-Death frowned. “I
guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“He’s always loved you, Deidre. That hasn’t
changed.” Deidre said, sensing the jealousy in the woman before
her.

“I don’t believe it’s possible,” Past-Death
said. “I’ve been afraid of losing him my whole life.”

You had no trouble ripping
him from me or me from my own life.
Deidre
kept her thoughts to herself, growing more distressed with the
visit. She hugged herself.

“I don’t know how to help,” she whispered.
“The bond between mates is strong. Gabriel is honorable. He will do
what’s right.”

“I want to do what’s right, too, but don’t
even know what that is.”

“Darkyn’s approach to the mating bond was
much different than Gabriel’s. Gabriel gave me space and a choice.
Darkyn … no way in hell. Relentless.” Deidre heard the dreamy note
in her voice and blushed again. “Anyway I mean, if you confront
something instead of letting it fester, it might be easier to deal
with. Instead of waiting for Gabe to come around, why don’t you go
to him? Try to make things right.”

“I’ve been trying to think of how to do
that.” Past-Death was pensive.

Deidre couldn’t help wondering how the woman
was able to ask such favors after hurting her so badly. Grudgingly,
she spoke honestly, knowing there was nothing anyone – even Gabriel
– could do to break a double bond.

“Remind him why he fell in
love with you. He loves … your spontaneity, your sense of humor.”
She tapped one of her fangs absently. “He loves
…
you
and always
has. He’s always loved the side of you that laughs. The part of you
that makes him forget how grey his world is.” Her throat tightened
at the memory of the night she met Gabriel.

“My gods. How do you know this?”
Past-Death’s words were barely audible.

“I ...” Deidre blinked away her tears.

“You figured that out after a week, and I
know nothing after thousands of years,” Deidre whispered. “If you
weren’t blood-bound, I’d give him to you now.”

Deidre was silent for a moment, wrestling
with herself. Several days ago, she would have jumped at the
chance. She let herself think what she’d do, if she had the choice
between the two. Seeing Past-Death’s desperation made Deidre
realize Rhyn was right. The bond brought mates together, but it
didn’t create a relationship. It didn’t create trust or affection
or hope or love. Accepting, loving, trusting someone – even if
bonded – was beyond Immortal Laws to dictate. There was still a
choice.

What she started to feel for Gabriel had
been real; what she felt for Darkyn was real. It gave her a little
bit of peace, knowing she wasn’t solely at the mercy of the
Immortal Laws and Fate.

She shook her head in response to
Past-Death.

“If I can win over the Dark One, you can win
over Death,” she added. “You have the advantage that he already
loves you.”

“Not sure why you’re trying to help me,”
Past-Death said, tears sparkling in her eyes.

“I want to see Gabriel happy,” Deidre
replied honestly. “You are the only person who can do that.”

“You really believe that?”

“I do.”

“It’s not going to happen in a week,”
Past-Death said, pacing.

“No.”

Past-Death waited for her to say more.

Deidre hugged herself, hearing the unasked
question about their deal. Darkyn said even if she won, Past-Death
could live an eternity. Deidre had no idea what to say and even
less of an idea what exactly happened when the deal was over.

“Are you allowed to leave Hell?” Past-Death
asked.

Deidre nodded.

“If I don’t fuck up everything and wipe out
the world or die-dead in two days, I think I’d like to talk to you
more,” Past-Death said. “If you’re interested in being the friend
of someone like me.”

Deidre heard the pain in Past-Death’s voice
and felt sorry for her. Emotions warred within her. She wanted to
say no and walk away. She wanted to make sure the woman whose gaze
had gone from confident to sad ended up okay. She never expected
Past-Death to seek her out. All along, she’d hoped some part of the
former deity was able to appreciate Gabriel as only a human lover
could. But it didn’t make it any easier for Deidre to deal
with.

“I might need some time for that,” Deidre
responded at last. “I can forgive you, but I’m not sure I can ever
trust you.”

“Trust must be earned,” Deidre said. “I get
it. I’m learning that with Gabriel. I thought this was the first
step. I’m just asking for the chance, from both of you, to make
things right. If I even can.”

“I’ll think about it,” Darkyn’s mate said.
“I’m gonna go. Um, I guess you know how to call me if you need
anything.”

“I do, thank you. Deidre, I really am happy
that you’re okay.”

Deidre nodded. She turned and padded back to
the portal to Hell, resisting the urge to run. She stepped through
and emerged on the landing overlooking the desert. She slumped
against the low wall, propping up her elbows and covering her face.
Did she want to cry? Scream? She didn’t know. Her eyes were warm
with tears and her heart racing from the unexpected confrontation
with the distressed ex-deity who viewed her as expendable less than
a week before.

She was close to hyperventilating,
overwhelmed by the visit from Gabriel and Past-Death, the images
she’d seen in the videos in Zamon’s library, the revelations from
Zamon and Fate ...