Darkthaw (29 page)

“I can help ready the horses,” he says, and my relief is so sharp I sit back on my heels, dizzy. I breathe deep.

“Let's see if those men had anything useful in their effects,” Tom says, and pushes to his feet.

Isi nods. “Em will help Matisa.” And the way he says it, like he has no doubt, makes me bold and pleased at once.

“Stay near Em,” Kane tells Nico and Daniel. Daniel leaves him to come to me, but Nico shakes his head and grips Kane's hand. “It's all right,” Kane says, soft. “I'll be right over there. And Em will keep you safe.” That funny half smile pulls at his mouth. Like the Kane I remember.

I smile back, my heart full of so much pain and love I feel like it might burst. “Come help me mix this?” I ask Nico.

Out in the clearing, Tom and Isi manhandle the cage off the cart. It lands on the earth with a deep thud. Lucky stands nearby. She emerged from the trees a short time ago, a spindly colt close at her heels, searching for her milk. That horse has some Almighty-given good sense to have made herself scarce when the going was about to get rough like that. Either that, or Daniel named her perfect. She nuzzles her colt's rump while it drinks.

While Kane helps them organize, Nico helps me finish mixing my cooling wash. He sings to himself as we work, and as I catch the words, I feel a happy laugh build in my chest.

That rabbit song has a tune after all.

He and Daniel sit back and watch me dribble water into Matisa's mouth. I wash her face and neck and bathe her arms, taking care around her wrists. Her chest rises and falls. I wash her arms again. And again.

As dark falls, the trees around me shift, becoming tall peaks. The air is crisp, scented with something new—moist earth and evergreen. Tall rock walls reach high toward the stars, and I am home, so at home—

“Em.” It's Tom, his hand on my shoulder. I start and look around. The grove is quiet and still. Kane is tucking our cloaks around two drowsy little boys.

I look at Tom's scarred hand, still on my shoulder, and I'm filled with joy. Wasn't sure I'd ever see those hands again.

I look back at Matisa. She's sitting up.

IN THE GLOW OF THE FIRE, KANE OFFERS MATISA
a waterskin and some dried meat. Tom and I sit close as she takes small sips and nibbles at the jerky.

Isi fusses around her like some giant swallow flitting around its nest. She listens, quiet, as we tell her what happened when our group splintered. Her eyes go dark when I tell her about the First Peoples at the Keep, darker still when I describe the battle that helped us flee, but she says nothing. When I get to the part about Isi bringing us here, her face changes. She shakes her head and smiles up at him. “I am . . . surprised. And also not surprised.”

His eyes go soft, a mite unsure—the way they get only when he looks on her. She tilts her head, and now she's looking on him a new way, kind of like she's seeing him for the first time.

“It was the right thing,” he mutters.

“Don't worry,” I say. “He's still as prickly as ever.”

He shoots me a dark look, but he's playing at being angry.
“Em was more help than I imagined,” he says. “But she was slow as an earthworm,” he adds, and I scowl.

“Not so slow,” Matisa says. “We still have time to catch the hunters before they leave.” The hunters. I'd all but forgot. I count the nights quick in my head and realize she's right. Feels like we've been out here a lifetime, even though we parted with Nishwa only six days ago. As our eyes meet, I realize what she isn't saying: she's worried he ran into Leon's men. She's worried he didn't make it, didn't warn the hunters himself.

She pulls her gaze away and changes the subject. “You rescued us,” she says to Tom. “How?”

Tom ducks his head at the compliment. “Left the settlement three days after you, aiming for that crossing. I had the map, so I could cut cross the land rather than following the river—Almighty, but it winds something awful. Would've taken me days.”

I shake my head. I was so irritated at Henderson showing up the way he did. Turns out his bleedin' map is the reason Tom came upon us in time.

But I think back to him telling us about finding Matisa's horse and that man. It would've been enough to send the old Tom straight back to the settlement. He pressed on, somehow knowing he was on our trail. I study him. His prairie-sky eyes are clear and determined. This Tom doesn't look scared or resentful. Looks full of purpose. Like deciding to come out here has lifted his head high in a way life in the settlement never could.

“Matisa.” Kane's voice calls my thoughts back to the present. “Why are your people looking for you?”

Matisa pulls her knees to her chest and takes a deep breath. “They aren't,” she says. “When Charlie took me, he told me my people promised him protection in exchange for me.” She shakes her head. “Something felt wrong with his tale. And when he told me they were wearing a red crest, I knew what.”

My pulse races. The
sohkâtisiwak
.

Kane frowns his confusion.

“It was a group of abandoners from Matisa's people,” I explain, quick. “They are dangerous.” I lean toward her. “What did you do?”

“I knew that even if I could convince him they were enemies of my people, he wouldn't care,” she says. “So I played along. I told him I knew where they were.”

“But why this grove?” I ask.

“I dreamt you would be here,” Matisa says. She looks over at the little boys, and her eyes brim with tears. I wonder if she knew it would be bad, wonder if she dreamt this, like she dreamt we would be separated.

“But we . . .” She swallows. “We were caught by four men the first night out. They were going to take us to this Keep you spoke of. But Charlie got the ear of the tall pale man—Julian. He told Julian I was special, that they could give me back to my people in exchange for something important. I could tell Charlie didn't know exactly what that was, but . . .” Matisa trails off.

“Julian knew,” I finish.

She nods. “I overheard him saying something about ‘safety from the Bleed.'”

I ignore Tom's and Kane's puzzled looks and urge her on. “What happened?”

She continues. “Julian pretended to strike an accord: Charlie's freedom for what he knew. Then he shackled Charlie once he got this location from him.”

“And Rebecca?”

“Julian argued with the other men about coming to this place—there was a bunch of shouting about loyalty to Leon, that man you mentioned. They drew guns and split us up—the other men took Rebecca. Julian and that small man took us.” She looks around the darkened woods. “I don't know how long we will be safe here; the abandoners—
sohkâtisiwak—
are looking for me.”

“But why?” Tom asks. “What was Julian going to trade you for?”

Isi shifts behind her but doesn't speak.

I meet Matisa's gaze.

There's a flicker of indecision in her eyes. They harden. She takes a deep breath. “The sickness Henderson told your settlement about—the one that made this land dangerous for so long—it is out here still.”

Kane frowns. “Out here?”

“It comes to small rivers and creeks. But it is impossible to determine which waters have it until it is too late.”

“You mean you can't tell until after you get sick?” Tom asks.

She nods. “That is what makes it so dangerous. It is why so many of your kind died when they first arrived. They did not know what it was, or where it came from.”

There is a silence as Tom and Kane take in Matisa's
words. Tom points to the waterskin in her hands and raises his eyebrows.

“I am safe from it,” she says. “We all are.”

“Safe how?” Kane asks. I risk another glance at him. His arms are crossed, and his eyes are fixed on her face.

“I am part of a small circle of healers who know a remedy for it. I have been sworn to secrecy, as it has long been our greatest asset.” She swallows. “Julian and his men want the remedy so they can safely expand their territory. He planned to trade me for it.”

Kane drops his arms. He breathes deep and rubs a hand over his head.

“The people Julian was going to trade you to, the abandoners,” Tom says. “This is why they wanted you?”

“Yes. They may have stolen some of our stores of the remedy to forge an alliance with these newcomers, but they do not know how to create it. With the help of Leon's weapons, they could force us to reveal the method. But if they could get their hands on one of the healers—on me—they might be able to force
me
instead. Julian didn't know he was planning to trade the one person here who can create it. Fortunately, neither did Charlie.”

“Matisa has been keeping us all protected from it as we journey,” I say.

Kane's head snaps toward me. “You knew?”

I nod, avoiding his eyes. Choose my words careful. “I knew that we were safe with Matisa.”

“But the settlement?” Tom asks. “How did we all survive—”

“The settlement has the remedy,” I say. “We've always
used it, always been safe from the Bleed. Matisa assured me of this before we set out.”

“You knew before we left?” Kane asks, and the disbelief in his voice forces me to meet his gaze. Hurt. Shock. Confusion. All of it swarms in his dark eyes, threatening to drown me.

“Em had little choice but to stay silent,” Matisa says. “She knew I broke an oath when I told her, and she did not want me to do it twice.”

But Kane speaks like he hasn't heard. “You didn't trust me,” he states. And the broken tone of his voice . . .

I try to open my mouth to tell him he's got it wrong, but my throat closes off as I stare at his wounded face.

He shakes his head and turns away, his gaze going to where the little boys slumber.

Almighty. What have I done?

“If this group is looking for you,” Tom's voice breaks in, “we should get moving.”

“You and the little ones can ride in the cart,” Isi says to Matisa. He moves to help her to her feet, but I'm frozen in place, watching Kane.

He stands in profile, his jaw working hard. The moonlight cuts a sharp bright line along his face.

Tom and Isi steady Matisa on either side and get her moving toward the horses.

I stand and take a step toward Kane. “I—” My voice is caught in my throat. I point at the little boys. “I can help you carry them.”

He doesn't move.

I'll apologize. I'll explain. I'll tell him why I had no choice.
But he turns now and fixes his eyes on me, and my heart near drops from my chest. The look on his face—there's nothing I can say that's going to make this all right. Not now. Mayhap not ever.

Blood thrums in my ears. I force the words out. “You're . . . coming, right?”

Real slow, he nods. “Matisa's people have the remedy,” he says. There is no anger in his voice. No love, neither. “It'd be foolish not to.”

Kane waves off my offer of help and carries the little boys one by one, still asleep, to the cart. He settles them in the back among the supplies, beside Matisa, while Isi checks the harnesses.

I wrap my arms around myself as they pack, Kane's answer ringing around in my head. He's coming with us. It's what I've wanted all along.

But it's all wrong now.

He was supposed to choose our new life out here. We were supposed to head into the unknown together. We're heading into the unknown all right, but it's no longer a choice. He's doing it because there is no better option.

I clench my teeth in frustration, feeling the urge to hit something. Someone.

My eyes find Charlie. His thin, sad form is sagging against the tree, where he's been watching us. The flicker of anger blooms into a flame.

The moon is up over the far bank, but tonight I'm not comforted by its light. Tonight, I wish for dark.

“Em?” It's Tom. He tilts his head at Charlie.

“I'll deal with it,” I say. I steel myself, feel the moon beating fierce on my head, and limp toward him. I stop two strides away.

Charlie's eyes widen as he realizes I'm not coming any closer. “You can't leave me here, Em,” he breathes out. Coughs that wet cough. “Please. Give me a chance.”

“You
had
a chance,” I say. “Days back. When you told me you wanted to put the past in the past.”

He licks his lips. “I meant it.”

“No. You were planning to take Matisa all along,” I say.

“But it wasn't anything against you. Don't blame you for what happened to my family, cast out like that. Never did.” He nods his head at the group behind me. “Don't even blame Kane for my pa's death. I spoke up for him, saved his life.” His blue eyes are wide, pleading.

I feel a pang through my anger. That last part is true. If he hadn't spoke when he did . . .

But I think about Matisa as that bundle of rags. Mayhap that was Julian's doing, but Charlie's actions put her there. He took her from us the first chance he got—and near took Isi's head off as he fled.