Darkness of Light (16 page)

We went to one of Mark’s favorite restaurants. It was a lively Mexican restaurant that served margaritas in glasses the size of fish bowls. He really enjoyed them, and we had a good dinner, laughing and joking together. Mark was always able to lighten my mood and help me forget about the world. 

Once outside the restaurant, Mark threw me the truck keys. “Here you go kiddo, guess you’re old enough to drive me home.” 

“Technically I have been for two years now. Remember, I’m an adult—as much as you try to deny the fact.”

“I have to deny it. The truth of you being an adult is just too frightening for me to even comprehend,” Mark jested. 

I smiled, climbing into the driver’s seat. Putting the keys into the ignition, I froze. Green eyes stared at me from across the street. Under a street light, Lorcan stood there, a smirk hitching up his lip. 

“Ember? Are you okay?” Mark asked. My attention was fastened on Lorcan. “Ember?” 

“What?” I asked, my eyes never leaving Lorcan’s.

“He will lead her to you. You are no longer safe.”
Mark’s voice now sounded completely unlike him.

My head shot over to look at Mark. Where he had been sitting, Torin now sat, his unnerving, blue eyes examining me. The shock of seeing Torin sent me reeling back, my head cracking against the driver’s seat window. 

“
Run
,” Torin’s voice said inside my head.

“Ember? What’s wrong?” Torin reached out for me, but the hand that touched me belonged to Mark. He looked at me with concern.

“W-Wh-What are yo-you doing here?”

“What do you mean, what am I doing here?” Torin’s voice was wary. It didn’t sound like Torin, but it wasn’t Mark’s voice either. It was like a mix of the two.

I squeezed my eyes shut. My hands were balled so tight that I could feel my nails breaking the skin of my palms. When I opened my eyes, Mark sat there again, peering at me with apprehension.

I had wanted to keep what was happening to me from him, but how could I do that now? He was watching his daughter’s mind slowly crumble in front of him. 

“What is going on with you? What just happened?” he demanded.

“Nothing,” I mumbled. “I-I just . . .” What could I say? There really was nothing I could say that would explain what had just happened, except that I was certifiably nuts.

“They are happening again aren’t they—the hallucinations?” Distress was etched on his face. “I can’t watch you go through this again, Em. I won’t do it.”

“I told you, I’m just dealing with a lot lately.”

“Cut the crap, Em.” His tone turned even more serious. “I really had hoped the therapy at Silverwood was going to help. I wanted so bad to believe the hallucinations hadn’t returned and you were better. The school therapy is obviously not enough.” He shook his head, looking angry with himself. “I also know your night terrors are back as well. You may think you’re hiding them from me, but you’re not.”

My stomach dropped. I had convinced myself that I’d been good at concealing them from Mark for the past five years. But since my birthday in October, the night terrors had become a lot more aggressive and frequent.

“Remember our pact when I let you stop going to the therapist and taking your meds a few years ago? We agreed if anything like this started again, you would go back on them.” He looked up at me. “I don’t want you to go through all that pain again.”

“The therapy is helping, I swear. Just give it more time. I promise I’m getting better,” I whispered. 

Mark sighed. “I will give you until I come back from Tokyo. If the school therapy isn’t enough and you aren’t getting better, I will be talking to Mrs. Sanchez and your counselors to get their input on which medications would be best for you and then discussing what steps we need to take next, okay?”

I nodded. There was nothing else I could do. How could I tell him these unexplainable things were actually happening to me? He already thought I was unstable. Causing Mark any kind of pain made me sick to my stomach. 

Starting the car, I looked back at the space where Lorcan had been. It was empty. 

Seventeen

The icy raindrops lashed out at my face, making me tighten my hood as I headed to the bus stop for school on Monday. Mark had watched my every move that morning, waiting to see if I would start licking windows or talking to the refrigerator. I had barely slept, my brain going over yesterday’s events—the way my tattoo had burned when Eli had touched me; our fight, and him warning me to stay away from him; Lorcan watching me outside the restaurant, and seeing my father turn into Torin right in front of me.

I wrapped my arms around myself. The biting wind seeped through my jacket, causing my bones to ache. I bowed my head, battling the elements, and crossed the street to the bus stop. I almost fell asleep standing up when the bus finally came. I climbed the steps slowly, pulling out my bus pass to show it to the driver. I stopped short, my pass slipping through my fingers, falling to the floor.

Oh God, not again. 

A small, disproportionate man sat in the driver’s seat. He could not have been more than four feet tall, and barely able to reach the pedals. Long, pointed ears protruded high on his oversized head. His skin was wrinkled, thin, the color of parchment paper, and oozed with lumps, sores, and knobs. He had an elongated hooknose, and his puny, dark, beady eyes glared back into mine.

“Move to the back,” he snarled at me. I couldn’t move; my legs were locked in place. “Hey, did you hear me? Either get on or off. You’re holdin’ up the bus.” 

His razor-sharp teeth gleamed, causing me to jump back, almost falling down the steps. When I looked up again, a tall, grumpy-looking
human
sat in the driver’s seat, his long skinny legs tapping on the pedals impatiently. 

I bit my lip.
This can’t be happening again.

“On or off?” the old man barked at me. 

I stepped back onto the bus, pushing through my fear. The driver yanked the handle, slamming the doors shut and punched down on the gas pedal. I stumbled down the aisle and flopped down in a seat. 

The hallucinations were proof that I was unstable. As the doctors had said my mind was creating its own little world so I could handle all the things happening to me. I clearly wasn’t dealing well with the possibility of being a fire-starter or someone who could manipulate and move elements with my mind!

Over the years these hallucinations had been infrequent enough for me to brush them off as something else. But something had changed. When they happened now, they were so life-like and intense it was hard to tell what was real and what wasn’t. The only thing that kept them separate and kept me grounded was that the hallucinations were always strange mythical creatures. I had no idea why my mind chose fantasy characters to see. Maybe the stories my mother used to tell me before bed were coming back to me. Maybe it was another way to feel closer to her, to produce the world she used to spend hours creating for me.

I was relieved when the bus arrived at the stop closest to Silverwood. I hurried off the bus without looking at the old man. Already late for school, I detoured from the main path, cutting through the woods. It was a shortcut that hopefully wouldn’t make me any later.

Darkness adhered to the dense canopy of trees. Mist swirled on the forest floor, clinging to the ferns and mossy rocks. Crooked limbs weaved through each other, creating intricate spider webs made of wood. Trampling through a dark, dense forest might have spooked most people or made them uncomfortable. It relaxed me. 

The shortcut drove me deeper into the woods. It felt as if energy was trickling into my legs, making them itch for movement, to run. I started to jog, my backpack banging rhythmically against my back. I sailed through the forest, weaving around trees and bushes with ease. Dampness clung to my face and hair as the mist thickened under the cover of trees. All the things that had been happening to me were begging to be released. I pumped my legs faster. The pulse of the forest pounded simultaneously with my heartbeat. 

Then I felt something change. It felt like a warning was being shouted at me through the drumming beat of the forest. Something was off. Wrong. Alarm nipped at my insides. 

I slowed down and came to a stop. A stronger feeling of dread gripped me. I was being watched. Spinning around in a circle, I eyed the forest that surrounded me. Nervously, I swallowed, searching for the forest’s once-vibrant sounds of life. Total silence enveloped me and was only broken up by the thumping of my heart. The silence was what really unnerved me. Not a single bird chirped and not any of the other natural sounds of a forest whistled through the air. You never realize how comforting those sounds are until they’re gone. All the time I spent in the woods, I never felt uncomfortable. But now I did. 

A trickle of sweat ran down my face. I didn’t know what to do. There was no obvious threat, but my gut told me something was different. This was something I had gotten from my mom. Our gut feelings were eerily right on, like a truth detector or a warning system. 

I was fairly certain there were no bears or other aggressive wildlife around this area, but the sensation of being hunted rang like a bell inside my head. Panic rose up into my throat like bile, and I stumbled backwards until I pressed up against a massive boulder. 

My skin tingled and blood pounded in my ears. Whatever it was, it was getting closer, edging slowly towards me. This was it. I hoped it would be an animal that attacked me. Yes, I’d rather die as a bear’s Happy Meal, than as some girl murdered by a deranged serial killer. 

A branch snapped, breaking the silence. The sound came from the opposite direction where I had felt the threat. My attention flew towards the sound, searching the perimeter in front of me. 

Out of nowhere, a massive figure appeared at the break of the clearing. I jumped back, squeaking out a startled yelp. 

“You scared the shit out of me.” I put my hand on my chest as I caught my breath. I looked back to where Eli stood. His features were hard and cruel. Even though it was just Eli, something kept me from thinking I was entirely safe. “What are you doing out here?”

“Surveillance.”

“You mean you’re following me.”

“Well, if some girls did what they were told . . .”

“Not something I’m particularly good at.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

“Okay, besides you being an extremely creepy stalker guy—how did you know I was out here?”

Eli cocked his head, staying mute. A spine-chilling smile stretched over his lips. There was something dark and unsafe about him, and something today reminded me of the first night I saw him. He was forbidding, cold, and let’s be honest, straight out scary. What if it was him who was hunting me in the forest? He might find it amusing to play with me like that, as a cat would with a mouse. There was no denying his predatory nature. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something about him that felt more animal than man.

“Think it’s time you got to class,” Eli said.

“And once again you think I’m just going to jump at your every command.” I folded my arms. “I don’t know what kind of girls you’ve dealt with before. Maybe Samantha obeys your every order, but I don’t.”

Suddenly, he was in my face. I took several steps back. “Samantha has to.” Eli leaned down, his lips brushing across my ear. “You will eventually submit . . . and happily.” 

My breath hitched. I was locked in place as he moved around me, heat blistering through my mind and body. 

It had only been a few seconds when I turned around to say something, which I’m sure would have been very witty, and he was gone. I pivoted as my eyes darted in every direction.
Where the hell did he go?
There was no way he could’ve walked away that fast. 

It also hit me—I hadn’t
heard
him leave. 

Eighteen

The rest of the day didn’t get any better. Actually, it sucked. The thing that should have put me in a good mood was Mrs. Sanchez calling me into her office and telling me that Principal Mitchell was willing to reassess my going back to my old school at the end of the month—if I continued on the straight and narrow path. The community service would still be in play, so I would still have to come back after school on Mondays, Thursdays, and the weekends for the next several months. 

I should have been thrilled at the prospect of going back to school with my friends, but the news seemed to only darken the cloud hanging over me. I felt more at home at Silverwood, but the idea that I would prefer to stay in a school for troubled students rather than going back to a normal high school with my friends kept my lips sealed. 

Poor Josh tried so hard to get me out of my funk, but my mind wouldn’t let him. I did my best to smother any more thoughts about leaving Silverwood, the bus driver, and Eli. I dreaded going out to the O.A.R. site and Josh had to practically drag me there. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on between you two?” His chin jutted out towards Eli, clearly not a fan of his.

“Nothing.” 

“Really?” Josh looked down at me. “Come on, Em, you guys act like you hate each other, but the sexual tension is so thick you could choke on it. It’s pretty obvious something is going on.”

“I promise you, nothing is going on with him,” I said adamantly. 

“Good,” he replied as we walked to the site. “Because one, he has a girlfriend, and two, he is not the type of guy you should get involved with. Bikers don’t make good boyfriends.” 

I didn’t bother clarifying that Samantha was more of a sex friend than a girlfriend. “You don’t have to preach to the choir here.”

“I think I do.” 

I gave Josh a side glance and was about to respond further when I felt the unique thumping within me, warning me that Eli was near. Until he touched my tattoo the other day, I had never really thought about exactly where the warning was coming from. My whole body seemed to react when he got close to me so I wasn’t surprised I hadn’t noticed it ‘til today. It was slight, but I could feel my tattoo starting to warm.