Darkness In The Flames (42 page)

Whatever it was, they’d deal with it together. For Verity knew their meeting was no act of mere chance. Some destiny had arranged for them to unite at this time in this place. She couldn’t have been more sure of anything had she received an edict from the King himself stating the fact.

They had found each other for a reason—something that went beyond the mere mutual physical pleasure they’d discovered in bed.

They rode silently for a little while, Nick lost in his thoughts and Verity trying to sort out hers. Everything had changed on this night. She had already made the decision to quit the Towers and leave the FitzAdamses to their own perversions. She had planned on losing herself somewhere quiet but now—now there was an added wrinkle to her scheme.

Nick Blaine. The man who had taken her to the very heights, whose eyes had mysteriously changed color over the years since she’d seen him. The man who had taken a gunshot to the chest and not been wounded.

He was a mystery all right. A somber shadow that had fallen across her life only to bring light into it instead of darkness. It was a strange set of circumstances she could not fathom at all.

Perhaps Nick would be able to explain it. If anybody could, he could. Verity recalled the laughing youth she’d admired so strongly and his gift for the world of natural science. He’d been the one to show her a butterfly up close, to gently brush the fluttering wings and let her glimpse the magical world of dust and color that she’d seen on his fingertip.

To understand how such a tiny creature could emerge from its cocoon and take flight into the sunshine, living its short life to the fullest, savoring the nectar of flowers and the warmth of daylight.

He’d done so with infectious enthusiasm, not
teaching
so much as
enthralling
the child she was back then. Even as young as she’d been, she’d recognized his passion for science. A passion she’d now experienced first hand in his arms as she opened herself to him.

She’d emerged much like that butterfly from her cocoon of misery to fly into the sunlight of his body and his kiss.

Verity brushed the whimsical thoughts away as Nick turned down a barely visible path and led them toward a large shape—a barrow perhaps—lurking beyond in the darkness. He dismounted and motioned for her to do the same.

Silently she slid from her horse and imitated Nick’s movements, unfastening her saddle and freeing the creature to roam with Nick’s mount to a nearby patch of grass.

“They will stay. The grazing is good.” His voice was rough and low. “Come. Let me show you…”

Verity heard him swallow down the rest of his words. Instinctively she reached for his hand. “I’m here.”

They walked into a well-concealed opening in the barrow and down a little passage, the light receding as they moved deeper. Blind now, Verity could only cling to Nick and follow where he led.

Finally he paused. “Stay a moment. I believe I have a little candle left here somewhere.”

His hand slid from hers and she stood, bereft, in the blackness. There was a fumbling, a harsh rasp and then a tiny flicker of light as he lit a stump of candle. Verity glanced around at the cave-like interior that somebody had hollowed from this ancient lump of earth. There was nothing to see.

Nothing but Nick.

And the expressions racing across his face caught at her heart and made her gasp.

Fear, pain, desolation—they were all there in equal measures. His eyes caught the candlelight and reflected it back oddly, flickering red then gleaming, only to be shielded as he dropped his gaze to a pile of branches on the floor.

“Welcome to my home, Verity. Such as it is. This is how I live now. A creature of the night, shunning the sun. There is a vicious darkness in me—in my soul. This is how I survive it.”

Her breath tangled in her lungs, Verity reached for Nick and drew him down next to her as she sat on the branches. There were still wet patches on his shirt from his blood, but he looked unharmed. No fresh signs of injury. He really had sustained no wounds at all.

She blinked. “I cannot grasp this at all, Nick. Start from the beginning. Please? Tell me?” Her fingers linked with his and squeezed.

“You will hate me. Despise me. Loathe what I have become.”

Verity’s grip tightened. “
Never
.” She reached for his tattered garment and pulled at it. “Take this off. Let me see you are uninjured.”

Awkwardly, he shrugged away the remnants of stained linen. “As you can see, I am unharmed. ‘Tis perhaps one of the few benefits of my life now.”

“Do you have another? You are cool, Nick.” Her hand fell to his chest like a lodestone pointing north. She needed to touch him with a need that threatened to choke her. “Forgive me. Touching you is a pleasure I find I cannot deny myself.”

He sighed then. “Your hand on my body—Verity, it brings me pleasure too. Tenfold.”

Tenderly she drew him to her, slipping her arms around him and encouraging him to lean against her. “Then trust me Nick. Tell me what has happened over the years since we first met. Please—I must know.”

“Very well. But if—at any time—you wish to leave this place and never return, you are free to do so.” He shifted and stared into her eyes. “I mean that, Verity. I will never harm you, nor hold you against your will.”

She was surprised at the slight grin she felt curving her lips. “Then hold me against your chest instead. I would hear this tale from a place that best suits me.”

Obligingly Nick settled Verity into his embrace, curling them both into a proximity that comforted her and aroused her. She pushed the need aside. This was a time for talking. Touching could—for this moment at least—wait.

Although there was a pleasure in the feel of him that would not be denied.

Verity sighed and relaxed. “Where did it all begin?”

“In Europe. A small place called—Rogaška.”

Nick struggled for words. Dragging up these memories would be hard for him, but he knew it was essential. His relationship with Verity—such as it was or would be—depended on her knowing the truth in all its gory horror.

“I was on the Grand Tour, a mere lad loose on the Continent. There had been a party of us, but we’d split up in Trieste. I’d wanted to go to Rogaška because I’d heard there were mineral springs there a weary visitor might explore.” He chuckled wryly. “I was curious. Ever my besetting sin.”

“Did you find them?”

“Yes. Oh yes. I found them. And that’s where I met a woman.” He felt Verity shift next to him. “Are you certain you want to hear this?”

It was her turn to chuckle into the gloom. “Nick, you’ve seen some of my life recently. I do not shock easily, believe me.”

“I’ll take you at your word. Well, this woman—she was astoundingly beautiful, Verity. And I mean
astounding
. The sort of beauty that stops a man’s heart. Her hair was the red of burning embers, her skin milk-smooth…”

“I understand.”

“Yes, er…quite.” Nick wisely proceeded with his tale. “She found me in one of the springs—it’s like a natural outdoors bathing spa there. Lots of steaming pools heated from within, surprisingly warm for such a cool location.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It was. Until her. Until Thérèse.” Nick paused. Just the mention of her name, giving voice to the evil he’d encountered, sent a shudder to his soul.

“She…she seduced you?” Verity hesitantly encouraged him.

“I suppose so. I was quite ready to be seduced though. It was as much my fault as any. Had I turned her down…”

Verity snorted. “Nick, you were young, handsome and free. She was clearly ready to take you and she wanted you. I cannot blame her. I would have done the same.”

“You would?” Nick turned Verity’s face to his, seeking the truth in her glowing brown eyes.

She blushed. “That’s neither here nor there. Go on.”

On a whim, Nick brushed her lips with his. “Thank you for that.”

“So you and this Thérèse…”

“She…we…well, to be blunt, we fucked each other’s brains out. It was truly incredible too. Even then, I should have sensed…”

“What?”

“That there was something about her that wasn’t…normal.” Nick thought for a few moments. Had he known? The truth hit him. “No. I didn’t know. I do now, of course, but then? I had no idea at all.”

A little of the darkness within him lifted as some of the guilt slipped away to vanish into nothingness. He could not have known what Thérèse was. Never in a million lifetimes could he have known.

“What happened?”

He swallowed. “Afterwards, I was exhausted. Slumped in the springs, easing my muscles and my mind. She came to me, drifting on the waters, settling herself on my lap. And then…”

The memories rushed back with a vengeance.

“And then?” Verity’s soft voice threw him a lifeline. He held tightly to her, knowing he would not drown with his arms around her.

“She bit me.”

“
What
?”

How to describe it? The sensation of fangs tearing at flesh? Nick sighed. “Her teeth lengthened into fangs, Verity. She ripped into my neck and lacerated every muscle, every tendon, even the artery that fed my mind. She drank from me. Sucked the blood from me in great gulps—I can still hear that sound in my darkest moments.”

There was silence for a moment. “Dear God.”

He sighed. “God has nothing to do with Thérèse, my sweet.” He drew a ragged breath and continued. “She fed from me with a violence that knocked me all but unconscious.”

“And yet you survived?”

Nick frowned. “Yes. In the fog of pain and shock I remember her pulling away, pieces of my flesh hanging from her mouth. It was—unspeakable, Verity. Something I simply cannot put into words. But what came next…”

Her fingers tightened once more around his, offering what comfort she could.

“Next, she seemed to come to a decision. To keep me in her thrall, I suppose. Her eyes—black as night, like mine are now—they burned red and she tore into her own wrist then forced it against my mouth, her blood flowing freely to fill my throat. It was either swallow or die choking.” He paused for a moment. “I should have chosen to die.”

“No Nick.” Verity turned and nestled tightly to him. “
No
. No living thing wants to die. You chose the only path you could. You were injured, wounded to death. You only did what any creature, any human would do. You chose to
live
.”

“Did I?” He wondered how to explain all this. “I am not living, Verity. Not as you would understand it. After Thérèse had finished with me there was little of the mortal Nick Blaine left, other than this shell of a man. I crawled into the darkness of the forest and stayed there for a while, learning about the new existence I was now condemned to suffer.”

He closed his eyes. This was harder than he’d imagined. “I learned I could not tolerate the light of the sun. It burns me, a pain that cannot be described. I do not need food or drink to sustain me. My heart beats, but at so slow a speed you would not notice it. I do not age, I do not injure—or if I do it heals almost instantly. My skin is cool to the touch and my eyes…”

“Are no longer the blue of an English summer sky, but the black of a warm whispering night.”

Nick had almost forgotten Verity was there and her words caught him by surprise. He hugged her. “So fanciful. So poetic. You have been reading Lord Byron I think.”

“‘Tis all in one’s perspective. Go on with your tale, Nick.”

“There’s not much more to tell. I have survived—if you can call it that—in this state of darkness, of shadows, for more years than I can remember. Nothing has seemed important anymore, or worthwhile. I drift, no longer Sir Nicholas Blaine, aristocrat. Now I am Nick Blaine…
vampire
.”

“You are so wrong.” Verity surprised him with a touch of anger in her words. “You are
still
Nicholas Blaine. Still the man who asks questions of life and nature. Still the man whose heart is good and true, even though it beats differently now.” She rested her head against him in a gesture of trust and affection that shocked Nick.

“You are still the man I fell in love with as a child. And the man who caressed me with gentleness and care when I needed it—yet knew when I needed more than tenderness. You still
feel
, Nick. Your body may not be as mine, but your soul? It’s still as human as anybody’s.”

“I wish I could believe that.” She turned, but he laid a finger across her lips to halt her words. “There is more, love. I have done things—seen things—I have done what I had to do in order to survive. You were right when you said that all creatures have that instinct. But in my case—well, survival isn’t always…pretty.” He fought once more for the right words.

“I feed, Verity. On blood. On that essence that grants us all life.”

She was silent for a moment. “Have you killed for it?”

“No.” Nick’s denial was immediate, followed by a clarification he felt obliged to make. “Not that I know of.”

“Well, that’s all right then.”

Nick couldn’t help the laugh that surprised him with its sudden emergence. It had been so long since he’d done that… “You are—
incredible
.”

“Nonsense. I’m practical.” She turned in his arms. “Look, Nick. We’ve both done things we wish we hadn’t, but we’ve been forced into them by circumstances we could not control. You have become something quite out of the ordinary—something I’m not sure I fully understand, but you’re here. Holding me. You are real.” She sighed. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Things I’d take back in a second if I were permitted. But I’m here too. In your arms. I’m real.”

“And not afraid of a blood-sucking monster who shuns the daylight?”

She chuckled. “I probably would be if
he
were here. But I’m not afraid of
you
, Nick. I never could be. And you have not withdrawn from a wanton slut who has been little more than a sexual aide to her employers. So who am I to cast stones?”

Nick’s grip tightened until he heard Verity’s breath catch in her throat. “Don’t you ever—
ever
—demean yourself like that. I was there, remember? I
saw
. I
knew
what those two were in an instant. And I knew what you were.”