Darkness Descending (24 page)

A baptism.

That’s what it was.

She wanted to be punished, then cleansed, set free of the past.

She shivered, catching a glimpse of her reflection in the cracked window of an abandoned pawnshop where she’d been standing for the last ten minutes. Her hair was plastered down. Smudges of exhaustion underscored her eyes. Her face was a pale oval without a trace of makeup. Even her soft, full mouth looked bloodless. She looked, well, shitty.

For some reason this pleased her. Nerves strung as tight as a piano wire, she looked miserable because she was miserable. Her whole life had fallen apart, and she felt powerless to stop the depression. She was like an earthquake victim, with seemingly no way to dig herself out of the rubble.

Jesse shivered again. She felt the rain striking her, trickling down her neck, inside her clothes. Where, exactly, should she go now? Since retrieving her backpack from Maddox’s place, she’d spent the last few days wandering aimlessly. Even though she hadn’t known him long, she already felt lost without him. For the first time in eons she’d felt safe and accepted.

She bunched her hands into fists and pressed them against her thighs. Why did men have to be such ass-holes, anyway?

As the gloomy day began to descend into an even gloomier evening, clouds sank low to the ground, creating a purplish luminescent fog. It blanketed the abandoned area, giving the impression that the derelict buildings and abandoned streets were wrapped in a layer of gauze—a beautiful, if eerie, sight that perfectly suited her mood.

Jesse sighed and set her legs into motion. If she kept standing in the rain, she’d probably catch pneumonia and die. Given her present state of mind, that probably wouldn’t be a bad thing.

She walked, block after block disappearing under her restless feet. She had no real destination in mind. The only thing she knew was that she should keep moving, putting as much distance as she could between herself and Maddox. When she found a place to stay, she’d settle in and decide what to do next.

Caught in her own misery, she didn’t notice the vehicle gliding up behind her. A horn sounded, breaking the inner shell she’d stuffed herself into.

Hand flying to her hip pocket, she whirled on her heel. Anyone could have accosted her, taking her down before she’d even known what hit her. It was stupid to let her guard down, but at the time she hadn’t cared. Seeing Sam’s Pontiac delivered a much-needed jolt of reality. It was a welcome sight.

The passenger-side window rolled down. Sam Chen leaned across the front seat. “Hey, where the hell have you two been?”

Hitching her backpack into a more comfortable position, Jesse shook her head. “I’m not with Maddox anymore,” she said. “It’s just me.” She shrugged. “I don’t know where Maddox is, and I don’t really give a damn.”

Sam frowned. “Oh, shit. What happened?”

She spread her hands. “None of your business, man. I ain’t a part of your little group anymore.”

Sam reached for the handle, pushing it open. “Yeah, you are. Get your ass in here.”

Jesse planted her feet and dug in like a stubborn mule. “No. Whatever games you guys are playing, leave me out.”

Sam shook his head. “This isn’t anything you walk away from,” he said. “Once you’re in the club, you’re in for good. Only way to get out is to die. And if Reyen finds out you’re not under Maddox’s wing, he’s going to come after your ass just because he can.”

Jesse stuck out her lower lip. “What if I don’t want to be under Maddox’s fucking wing?” she snapped. “I’m just on my own. I always have been since this thing infected me.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Okay, I get that something must have happened between you two. Get in and let’s get this sorted out.”

“No. I don’t want to.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Sam countered. “Stand there in the rain until you melt? Come on. Where else have you got to go?”

The answer echoed in her mind.
Nowhere.
What she had with her was all she had in the world: a few changes of clothes and the money Maddox had given her. Ninety-three dollars and some change wouldn’t get her very far for very long. Unless she really wanted to keep living on the streets, she’d have to break down and admit she needed some help. A year of running and hiding was enough. She was tired, worn down to the bone—not to mention soaked to the skin.

“I’ll get in,” she said. “But only if I can stay with you until I can find my own place.”

Sam nodded. “Good enough.”

Shrugging out of her backpack, Jesse slid into the front seat. “Sorry about getting your leather seats wet,” she apologized.

Sam sighed and turned up the heat. “I’ll live,” he said, guiding the car away from the curb.

Silence hung between them.

Jesse held her cold hands toward the vents. The warm air blowing across her chilled skin felt wonderful. “So Maddox has been missing a couple of days,” she said, opening the way to conversation.

“Yeah. Last two days he hasn’t shown up to work. I’ve gone around his place, but it doesn’t look like anyone’s been there in a while. We were worried something nasty wanted a little revenge to get even for the Consanguine we took out.”

“I guess that would piss them off,” she allowed.

“Oh yeah. You can bet they get pissed when we start invading their territory. I know you think we’re a bunch of pussies for not running out and kicking undead ass every night, but you have to consider that they outnumber us about fifty to one. For every fledgling we do identify and locate, we might miss two or three more.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because sometimes they toss us a few red herrings, killing people just to have a body to dump. So they’ll kidnap half a dozen, kill them all, but infect only one or two. We can’t be everywhere in one night. A few are going to slip through. I hate breaking into a crypt just to find a plain old corpse. And don’t even get me started on the Consanguines. The older they are, the smarter they are. We got lucky with that one simply because he thought he knew you.”

Jesse shuddered involuntarily. “I don’t like thinking Amanda’s out there, preying on people,” she said, looking out the rain-splattered window. The rain had settled down into a light mist that made the cold air wet and sticky.

“I don’t know how anyone could handle something like that.”

“I’d suspected,” she said, turning away from the window. “I always thought I could feel her out there, even though it wouldn’t be possible, I know. What she was—who she was—is gone.”

“Could be some lingering psychic remnant,” Sam suggested.

“Maybe.” A thought occurred. The one thing she’d been putting off suddenly came crowding back into her brain. She’d always avoided making the trip, but now it was time. “Would you do something for me?”

Sam nodded. “Sure.”

“Take me to Memorial Gardens Cemetery,” she said. “I’d like to see Amanda’s grave.”

His head swiveled. “Now?”

She nodded. “If you don’t mind.”

“It would be closed,” he warned.

“Since when has that ever stopped a slayer?” she retorted.

“True.” He paused. “I will if you’ll tell me what happened with Maddox.”

Jesse hesitated. That was something she definitely didn’t want to talk about. She thought a moment. Sam had mentioned Maddox was missing. Perhaps something had happened to him—something bad.

She exhaled a slow breath. “Okay. You take me to the cemetery and I’ll tell you what happened.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “I knew something was up.”

Nevertheless, he kept his part of the bargain. Wheeling the big car around, he headed in the desired direction. It took almost an hour to reach their destination.

As they neared the cemetery, Jesse felt her blood turn icy. She’d been in the hospital when Amanda was buried. She’d never visited her sister’s grave.

Standing guard on this abode of the dead were twin stone pillars. The gates, of course, were locked.

Sam parked the car and killed the engine before snuffing out the headlights. “You sure you want to do this?”

Jesse pressed a hand against her chest to still the intense thudding of her heart. The organ beat against her rib cage as though trying to tear through her bones. “I’m sure.”

“Come on,” Sam said, leading the way. “I know an easy way in.”

Drawing in a breath, Jesse opened the door. “I guess you would.” Trembling legs would barely hold her weight. She had to force herself to pick up her feet and walk. A few minutes later, they’d climbed over the black wrought-iron fence, landing safely on the other side.

The grounds of the cemetery were neatly kept, grass and hedges trimmed. A huge marble carving of a book with the Lord’s Prayer inscribed into its marble pages sat just past the gate, neatly positioned between two towering weeping willow trees. There were iron benches beneath the trees, inviting the bereaved to sit beneath their shelter and seek comfort from the Savior’s words.

It wasn’t very comforting.

It felt strange to be in this place—she didn’t like coming back.

Sam looked around. “Where is your sister’s grave?”

Jesse numbly recited the plot number. She did not like this place one bit. Instead of huge ornate headstones, all the occupants were allowed for grave markers was a small flat slab—easier to mow over, they said. How sad a person’s whole life should be reduced to a twelve-by-twelve piece of marble.

Pulling out a flashlight, Sam nodded. “Gotcha.”

It took them about half an hour to locate the right spot. There it was, ringed by damp grass, its face beaded with raindrops: the plaque of a life snuffed out too early.

An awful, weak feeling attacked her legs as she studied the grave site. She closed her eyes and bent her head. She was trembling, trembling with a violence that shook her to the core. She opened her eyes and read:

There it was—Amanda’s grave.

Except Amanda wasn’t lying beneath the cold, damp ground. No, somewhere out there her demon-possessed body still existed. Forever young, forever beautiful, she walked the earth, a monster preying on the innocent.

Legs no longer able to support her weight, Jesse collapsed. The grass under her knees was cold and wet, the same grass covering her twin’s grave. She put out a trembling hand, touching the plaque. How was it the grass was so perfect, the maw in the ground grown over as if the hole there had never existed, as if Amanda had never existed? She felt the chill seeping into her bones, but was way past acknowledgment.

Tears she had earlier refused to let fall now ran down her cheeks in a torrent. The anguish of the night they’d been taken slithered out of the dark recesses of her mind like a snake, twisting itself around in her skull, biting deeply into her brain tissue with sharp poisonous fangs. The memory most stark in her mind was how they’d been seduced by two seemingly normal young men cruising the bar. The stupid mistake they’d made would not heal, and time was failing to ease the pain.

We knew better
, she thought through a veil of tears she could no longer distinguish from the rain.
We shouldn’t have been out that late.

“Where are you now?” she sobbed, the words escaping through numb lips. The quiver of betrayal in her broken voice went unheard by living ears. Her head sagged on her shoulders. She felt so tired, so awfully, horribly tired. When something hurt a heart this much, it was almost unbearable. She’d tried not to let the past hang on to her, but it was impossible—the loss of her twin was just something she could not get over.

Catching her lower lip between her teeth, she tried to dam up the fresh sobs rising from her chest. Hopeless remorse won and she began to cry again, the crying of a soul lost and so alone. Strangely, she wished Maddox were there, to fold her in his embrace, to comfort her. But he’d gone off into the arms of another woman.

Once again she’d been cast adrift. Only this time she hated it. It was true Maddox hadn’t made her any promises, and he owed her nothing. The realization of how alone she was struck her full force. She heard the sounds of evening traffic in the distance, but it didn’t register on her benumbed senses.

I have to depend on myself
, she warned herself.

She was drowning, but she didn’t know how to ask for help without appearing to be weak and foolish. She was trapped in a pit of despair, a pit she kept digging deeper. The edges were threatening to crumble and collapse on top of her, burying her.

A heavy hand fell on her shoulder. “You all right?” Sam Chen asked.

Jesse gave herself a hard mental shake. Somehow she had to find the strength to go on, to keep fighting the beasts that had destroyed her family.

She slowly dragged herself to her feet. A burning sensation washed over her body. She’d been crouched on the wet grass for too long, and her cramped limbs were beginning to rebel. Her nerves were strained to the breaking point, and apprehension sent pinpricks up her spine. For a moment she feared she would be ill.

She caught a breath of cold air. That helped clear her head. “Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks.”

Reaching for her arm, Sam drew her away from the grave. “I think it’s time to go.” Somehow he got her out of the cemetery and back into the car.

Jesse collapsed limply against the seat, a wet huddling mass. She shivered. “I’m so cold.”

Sam turned the heat up full blast. “I kept my end of the deal,” he said. “Your turn to spill.”

Wiping a hand against her eyes, she attempted to block out everything around her. Did she really have enough nerve to admit she’d had sex with Maddox? And apparently hadn’t satisfied him because he’d left her hanging while he sought out another woman.

She sighed. “Shit.”

“What’s up with Maddox?” Sam prodded again. “If something bad is going on, Reyen and I need to know.”