Darkness Comes (29 page)

“Mommy?” Toby asked, concern tightening his voice. “Are you okay?”

She put her arm through the strap and forced a smile to her lips, “Of course I am, sweetie; just having one of those mom moments.”

He giggled like she knew he would and that made her smile; everything was all right as long as she had Toby. She had just been spending too much time outside with the plants; maybe one of them released a hallucinogenic pollen, or something.

As soon as she started the car, the radio came on, making her jump. Then laugh at her reaction because she frequently left the radio on when she turned the car off and this was nothing new. It was playing her favorite winter song, again, and she and Toby sang along, again. It was such a great song, with a catchy refrain, though she could never remember the exact words. Something about a priest and a snowman and maybe a circus clown.

She giggled, then abruptly covered her mouth with her hand, driving with the other as Toby started to giggle, too. And as their laughter filled the car, she felt the tension and anxiety ease from her shoulders, felt the pesky thoughts fade away. She was going to have to get a copy of the song so she could play it at home; it was doing amazing things for her well-being.

It was even taking care of her upset tummy and light-headedness; something she hadn’t realized she was suffering from until it eased.

Abruptly, she decided to drive to the ocean, dip her feet in the warm water. With a smile on her face, a song in her heart, she turned right instead of left to the store. Whatever it was she needed would still be there in a few hours; it was more important to see the ocean and share that experience with Toby.

They had only driven for about fifteen minutes when the headache started, pressing at the inside of her skull. She would have ignored it except she didn’t think she’d be able to keep driving without passing out. It was easy to make the decision that the ocean could wait for another day so she kept driving only until she could find a place to turn around. But the headache got worse, spreading to her stomach and making her feel like her guts were being pulled inside out. If she didn’t find a place to turn around soon, she was going to have to pull over so she wouldn’t pass out while driving at 60 miles per hour.

“Damn it,” she said under her breath, still looking for a place to turn. That’s when the black dots began dancing behind her eyes and she knew that it was only a matter of time before she blacked out.

The theory that there was a hallucinogenic producing plant in her backyard was starting to sound more and more probable. Without regard to the law, she turned the wheel of the car and pulled a one-eighty and started heading back the way that they had come. And almost as fast, the symptoms began to fade. It was the strangest thing and she thought it might have something to do with driving so far away from home but that was ridiculous. Of course, she didn’t want to test that theory, she was still feeling a bit queasy and she didn’t think it was from the drive anymore.

She really needed to pick up one of those tests so she could reassure herself that she wasn’t pregnant; just ill.

“Mommy?” Toby whispered, concern in his voice.

“I’m okay,” she managed, taking deep gulps of air to clear the remaining pockets of nausea, her forehead still dotted with cold sweat. It had felt as if she were leaving a part of herself – a vital part – behind; that if she went much further, she would have been pulled in two. It would have been excruciating, possibly even enough to kill her because how would it be possible to live without a heart or a soul?

“I’m okay,” Malorie repeated softly, reaching over and taking his hand in hers. The only real thing. “Tell you what; after the store, we can stop at the ice cream shop and have some ice cream.”

Toby’s enthusiasm could not hide the fact that the thought of ice cream made her tummy flip over on itself and do its imitation of an acrobat. And the only time she couldn’t stand even the thought of ice cream had been when she was pregnant. But she wasn’t going to go there.

The drive back to town didn’t take nearly as long and she realized that there had been no other traffic on the road. At the time she hadn’t really been bothered by it, but there was always traffic, especially on such a gorgeous day. Her neighbors all had cars, beautiful cars, but none of them were out. Yet, the parking lot in front of the grocery store had several cars parked in it. All of the businesses had cars parked nearby.

“And because it is such a wonderful song, here it is again,” the deejay chimed in. The opening chords of the winter song started again only this time, they didn’t seem to have the same effect. At least, not to the same extent.

Probably because she was about to turn the car off and make a run for the bathroom. “Come on, Toby.”

He slipped his hand into hers and followed her as she rushed inside and quickly found the public restroom. She took him into the ladies bathroom and had him wait outside the stall door while she lost the air in her stomach, retching until her entire body ached with it. She wished she could believe it was just a bug but she never got sick.

“Are you okay?” Toby asked and she wished to God that he had not just had to listen to that.

“I’m fine, sweetie,” she managed, wiping the back of her hand across her forehead. Standing up and pasting a smile to her face, she opened the stall and grinned at him, “I’m just fine. Now, why don’t we get what we came here to get and then go have ice cream?”

He waited quietly as she rinsed her mouth out and then splashed some cool water on her face, blotting it dry before heading back out into the store. She grabbed a basket, since she didn’t need to buy a lot of stuff. Still, she just couldn’t walk down the feminine products aisle and grab what she wanted; that would have been so embarrassing. Nope; instead she led Toby down several aisles, grabbing a box of crackers here, a jar of peanut butter there, and a bag of water balloons down the novelty aisle.

Finally she stood in front of the female products, her hands trembling as she held onto the basket and Toby’s hand. Glancing over her shoulder to see if anyone was watching, she swallowed and grabbed the package that offered two tests for the price of one, in case her brain was really stubborn. And just as quickly, she thrust them into the basket, beneath the bag of water balloons and the package of crackers.

Almost sighing with relief, she reached out for Toby’s hand but when he didn’t take it right away, she looked down at him. He was giving her the most quizzical expression and she laughed softly; he must be wondering what the heck she was doing. She had to admit her behavior was… strange to say the least.

Finally, he smiled at her, the gap where his tooth had been making her laugh deepen, and put his hand back in hers. He was chatting about what flavor of ice cream he could get, asking if perhaps he could get a double scoop, as they walked up to the counter to pay. Blushing furiously, she put her items up, not quite meeting the cashier’s eyes as he rang her up. She paid without comment and hurried out of there.

“Hey, neighbor,” someone called out, startling her. With an irrational guilty blush, she turned around and saw Jay walking towards them, his gait long and strangely predatory. He smiled at them as he came to a stop, resting a hand on Toby’s shoulder, “How are you guys doing today?”

“Fine,” Malorie said.

“Mommy’s sick,” Toby said at the same moment, making her want to sink into a hole.

Concern flittered across Jay’s face as he looked at her with genuine compassion, “It’s nothing serious, I hope?”

“Of course not,” she smiled brightly, feeling beads of perspiration dot her forehead at the lie. She was oddly uncomfortable discussing this with Jay.

“She bought a pregnancy test,” Toby piped in and Malorie thought her mortification was complete. And that was before she saw Jay’s appalled expression.

“You’re pregnant?” he growled, taking her aback by the vehemence in his voice. He grabbed her by the arm – not painfully, but firmly. For one moment, both of them looked at his hand on her arm and he let her go. When she looked back, his face was flushed but there was a look of… relief in his eyes. His voice was calmer when he asked, “Malorie, are you?”

She shrugged her shoulders, shaking her head no and denying it even as the possibility sang in the back of her head. Forcing a laugh, she said, “Of course not; I mean, I haven’t even gone on a date in six years – who’d be the father?”

He closed his eyes briefly, as if her words pained him, which was ridiculous. He had never expressed an interest in dating her, so it couldn’t be jealousy. It was just such an odd reaction. After a moment of agonizing silence, he opened his eyes and she realized that there was a stronger hint of green in them than she had thought; like the eyes of the man in her dream. Her breath caught in her throat; could she have been dreaming about Jay? About her neighbor?

He scrubbed his hands through his hair, releasing her as he did so and she was able to breathe a little easier: Jay didn’t have black hair. And while there might have been a vague similarity to the man in her dreams, she knew that it wasn’t Jay she dreamed about. Besides, Jay’s eyes were definitely more silver than green.

Jay’s smile looked strained as he asked, “Where are you heading now?”

“We’re getting ice cream,” Toby beamed, slipping his hand into Jay’s, looking up at him with devotion. “Do you want to join us?”

A low groan pulsed from the back of his throat and his smile was tight but he nodded his head, “I would love to join you. But I think I will have some pie since I don’t much care for ice cream.”

“It’s a sin not to like ice cream,” Malorie muttered automatically before her eyes widened and flew to his in embarrassment. His smile was now real as he laughed, his silver green eyes sparkling with amusement. A flash of recognition hit her, of Jay but not Jay: Jay with blond hair and diamonds; it was so… so… disconcerting, as if she were flashing on what he should look like instead of what he did look like.

“It’s too cold,” he answered in response to her unspoken question. “My brother tolerates it slightly better than I do but he doesn’t run as hot as me.”

What a strange statement to make; and why did he keep looking at her with that odd expression on his face? Bewildered, she walked alongside the man and her son, bracing herself against the ordeal to come. If it was a sin to not like ice cream, it was a mortal sin to throw it up so she opted for a glass of water.

Getting ice cream was testament to how much she loved her child. Though she didn’t actually toss up whatever air bubbles were left in her stomach, it was a close call. Thanks to a few deep breaths, she was able to get through the tribulation. Toby never suspected a thing, blissfully eating his two scoops of ice cream, mint chocolate chip and orange sherbet. On a good day that would have made her queasy.

Jay continued to study her intently, making her feel like a recalcitrant child. She tried to smile at him but her lips quivered and it wasn’t much of a smile. In truth, she had the feeling that he just didn’t quite know what to make of her; as if she were a puzzle he had to figure out. Which was just as well, since she thought the same thing about him.

Again, the image of him with bleached hair and rows of diamonds flashed in her head and she jumped. The image was so crystal clear, she was certain it was real. But it was in such opposition to the Jay she knew, the Jay that was sitting across from her laughing with her son. Shaking her head to clear it, she turned to Toby, “We need to get home.”

“Are you all right, Malorie?” Jay asked attentively, placing his palm on her forearm.

“Of course,” her smile was strained as she got to her feet and grabbed the strap of her purse. Suddenly she froze, glancing down at the perturbing bag than back to Jay; the thought of losing the purse in his presence….

“Malorie,” he said softly in a low, soothing voice. “Let me drive you home.”

Had he been there? With a frown, she glanced back at her purse – the purse that was not missing; the whole memory was wrong. How could she remember losing something that wasn’t even lost? Automatically, she handed him her car keys, knowing with absolute certainty that she was in no shape to drive. “Thank you.”

She quietly followed Jay and Toby as they made their way to her car, her thoughts whirling at a thousand miles per hour. It was so… bizarre. Mindlessly, she climbed into the passenger side, barely aware of Jay strapping Toby into the backseat, of Jay starting the car, of Jay driving home. Who was he?

Once they were safely ensconced in the privacy of their home and Jay had returned to his own home, Mal asked Toby if he wouldn’t mind coloring for a few minutes while she used the bathroom. He had rolled his eyes and accused her of spending way too much time in the bathroom lately, but he grinned and headed off to gather his coloring supplies.

And so it was that Malorie found herself in the awkward position of taking a pregnancy test when she couldn’t remember sleeping with anybody that was corporeal in the last six years.

She shook as she set the completed tests on the counter; figuring it was best to get them both out of the way at one time. And as they did their thing, she slowly and methodically washed her hands, giving her reflection a pep talk about the absolute improbability of the test coming back positive, let alone two tests coming back positive.

There was a flaw in her logic somewhere, but she didn’t want to examine it too closely. And since washing her hands only took half a minute and the test required two to achieve maximum results, she splashed some cool water on her face.