Darkness (17 page)
We were alone in the middle of nowhere.
I kissed him again, and again until I knew he’d hit the point of giving in. I crawled across the console and into his lap with my lips attached to his the entire time. I fit perfectly there straddling his lap between him and the steering wheel. His hands slid around me to my bum and squeezed, pressing me against him.
“Take me now,” I breathed against his neck.
He growled, “Not fair.”
“Why?” I breathed again. I kept kissing him and pressing myself against him.
“Because every part of me wants you right now, but it wouldn’t be right.”
“Why not?” I was lightly biting my way down his neck to his shoulder, cupping the other side of his face with one hand while the other was working its way down low.
If only I was wearing a skirt.
“Because I don’t want either of us losing our virginity in a car.” His voice was close to a moan.
“Does it really matter where it happens? It’s going to happen, let’s just get it over with.”
“Laney.” He gently pushed me back a few inches to look into my eyes. Only the light from the sky catching in his eyes and a hint of fang was revealed as he spoke. “Is that how you really feel?”
I just looked at him questioningly. I was confused by what he meant.
“You just want to get it over with?”
“Kind of…” I wasn’t sure that was the right answer.
“Well, it means more than that to me. I want to be with you and make you mine forever, not just get it over with.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
Crap!
I stared out the window and quietly said I was sorry. And I was. I felt awful. I’d ruined our alone time.
“This isn’t you talking.”
I focused back on him, my arms now crossed too. “Then who is it?” Freakin’ idiot. Who the hell did he think just said all that?
“Julz.”
I glared hard.
“I’m pretty sure you have a lingering need left over from Julz’s memories.”
“What? How would you know that?”
“You called me Oscar earlier.”
“I did not!”
“You did.”
I thought for a moment. “Are you trying to tell me what I feel isn’t real?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“No. That can’t be.”
“Laney, you’re desperate for me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” I snapped back.
He smirked at me then continued, “You’re willing to lose your innocence to me in a car on the side of the road.”
I continued to glare at him.
“Let’s get back to the house.”
“Take me home.” I didn’t mean his place and he knew it.
“No.”
I slid back over into the passenger seat and we rode home silently.
When we pulled into the driveway Carter and Isaac where covered in grease and working on that old blue car in the garage. Clearly those two had bonded, and I don’t mean in the vampire kind of way. Just regular ol’ male bonding, a little bro-mance. I was too mad to find myself funny but I did find that I was a bit relieved to see that their bonding activities did seem to make Carter less deathly and Isaac less worried. It worked for them.
“Hey guys, how was dinner?” Isaac asked as he started towards us.
“Fine,” we both answered and then paused, not looking at one another.
“You call Kiera?” I asked Carter.
“Nope.”
I sighed. “‘Night boys.”
“I’ll be in in a few.” Without looking at me Oliver kissed the top of my head and I walked away.
I trudged into the house where Hayden was lying on the couch reading a book and Felix was using a laptop near her. She had her feet rested on his thigh. The front windows were open. I assumed so he could listen for Carter.
“He’s doing a lot better,” I said.
Felix looked up at me from his computer screen. “Today. I’m sure he’ll pay tomorrow. Like us, he has more energy at night.”
Lola trotted in from the open back door and attached herself to me as I headed down the hall.
I plugged my phone in to charge and saw I had a voicemail. It was Lilly. She was tossed and making no sense.
Great
..
. I’ve got an angry boyfriend and a drunken aunt. Super.
Oh, and the feelings that supposedly weren’t mine made everything just grand.
I got ready for bed and then lay down on the bed and waited for Oliver to come in for the night. And I waited and waited. Finally, after a long while, I flipped the light off, wrapped my fleece around me and turned onto my side facing the wall. Lola hopped onto the bed and rested with her back against mine.
That night I cried myself to sleep.
Chapter 21 - Requesting Forgiveness
The bed shifted and my eyes popped open. I rolled over hoping it was Oliver, but I was disappointed to find it was only Lola. I ran my fingers through her fur while thinking about what happened between Oliver and me the previous night. I’d hurt his feelings, that was obvious, and I needed to apologize. I sat up to go look for him only to find him sitting in the desk chair facing me.
“Hey,” I said quietly, and a bit nervously.
He smiled slightly, but it seemed forced.
I figured I better get straight to it. “I’m sorry about last night.”
He kept his eyes fixed on mine. I imagined he was focusing all his efforts on my emotions to find out if I was sincere. I was.
I continued and not without the burn of embarrassment creeping up into my cheeks. “I think I was looking at it differently because I don’t know what to expect and I’m afraid,” I looked down, “I’m afraid it’s going to hurt.” By the way, my cheeks were red hot at this point but I forced myself to look at him again. “I want to be with you in the same way as you described, but I think that it’s just different for me.”
Yeah, you’re doing the ‘poking’ and I’m the one getting ‘poked.’
“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I felt like I was rambling and trying to find the right thing to say and I wasn’t about to apologize for feelings he claimed weren’t mine. I refused to believe that little tramp could weasel her way into my subconscious.
He was silent for what seemed like forever. I’d looked away from him once I was done talking.
He sat forward in the chair, resting his elbows on his knees, and I looked back up at him. My stomach was seriously uneasy.
“I think that maybe we’re moving a little too fast. I don’t know if you’re really ready for this commitment.”
My heart was falling. I felt that lump form in my throat and I thought I was going to throw up. I felt like I was going to burst out crying at any moment. I swallowed hard a few times and then in a very quiet voice I asked, “Are you breaking up with me?” I’ve heard of people breaking up because they wouldn’t “put out,” but I was willing.
He just stared at me with absolutely no change to his expression and I felt a single unpreventable tear streak down my cheek. With his eyes on mine he rose from the chair and was on the bed a moment later. He faced me and held the side of my face with one hand and wiped the tear away with his thumb. “That will never happen,” he whispered. Then he gently kissed my lips. I felt my body sag in relief. He rested his forehead against mine. “I think that this moment, right now, proved that we’ll be okay.”
I really didn’t understand how this moment was defining whether or not we’d be okay so I just whispered, “I love you.”
“I know you do. And, it will probably hurt at first, and it will be scary and it will be beautiful and wonderful and it will be us as one–completing our bond. Not in a car and not with a bunch of people around or someone else’s emotions influencing it.” I cringed at the mention of her emotions and still refused to accept it. He was wrong about that. “Do you honestly think it doesn’t scare me too?” I shrugged slightly. “Laney, I’m terrified I’m going to hurt you, in more ways than you’re worried about.”
I locked my eyes with his. “But you won’t,” I said as I brushed the back of my hand across his flawless cheek. And in that moment I realized how perfect we were for each other. That he’d said exactly what I needed to hear, as I just did for him. That he felt for me the way I felt for him and that we had so much more than a physical relationship, we had friendship and respect.
He held me for a few moments more before I announced I needed a little time to myself. I gathered my things and headed for the bathroom.
After I was done getting ready for the day I left the bathroom to find that the one and only evil queen had returned. So much for enjoying my happy moment.
She was wearing a different outfit than the one she’d been wearing the day she’d left. She looked exhausted and she was being drilled by Oliver and Isaac with a quiet Hayden standing close by, seeming somewhat alarmed but mostly relieved.
“As your maker, I command you to tell me where you were!” Oliver shouted.
With her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes narrowed on his and she hissed, “I was away from
you
.”
He threw his hands into the air. “She’s impossible!” He turned his back and walked away.
I dropped my things off in Oliver’s room and then headed over to visit with Carter who was, sure enough, paying for the previous night’s activities. He was sore and tired. But I had seem him look much worse.
I was sitting in the chair beside Carter’s bed chatting with him–okay, nagging him to call Kiera–when Julz entered the room. We both avoided eye contact with her, even when she stopped and glared for a moment before she was off into her little cubby hole of a room. I left the room soon after, passing Isaac in the hall on his way in to deal with his significant other. I didn’t need to know what was going to happen between them in their room and I felt bad for Carter who was stuck in a bed up against their bedroom wall.
Maybe Felix would rescue him?
It was almost noon as I headed for the kitchen for something to eat.
Chapter 22 - Strawberries
While I was in the kitchen making myself some lunch Hayden was in a dining chair hugging her knees and staring off into space. Felix and Oliver were in the living room quietly disagreeing over what to do about Julz. I was trying my best not to get involved and trying not to care, which was hard. She had the entire house in turmoil. Whatever. I honestly didn’t care what they did with her as long as they kept her away from me.
I was cutting strawberries at the kitchen island when Isaac came storming down the hall with a duffle bag in his hand. Julz was right behind him reaching for his shoulder when he spun around on her.
“No part of me needs this shit!” He slapped her hand away. “I’m out of here!” And with that he stormed out the front door, slamming it behind him and causing the entire house to rattle. But not before announcing to Oliver and Felix, “She’s got fang marks on her!” They were out the door after him then. Julz stood staring after them from near the kitchen table and Hayden now had her head on her knees and her hands grasped in her hair.
I quickly looked away as Julz focused on me. I finished slicing my strawberries and began putting the rest of them back into the fridge. When I closed the fridge door she was on the other side of it. I jumped and choked on the strawberry that was in my mouth. I was regaining myself when she said to me, “I wanted to grow old and learn how to crochet.”
“Alrighty then, nut job.” Was the first thought that ran through my head but not wanting to “poke the bear” so to speak, all I did was smile politely and try really hard not to raise an eyebrow at her. She took a step closer and right then, from under the table, Lola jumped to her feet facing us. She laid her ears back and snarled, baring her massive dog teeth. I looked back to Julz, my eyes as wide as possible, expecting her to do something. But she didn’t. She just smiled pleasantly and took a strawberry slice from my plate. She looked the same as she had a moment before but there was something different in her, something off and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Lola continued to growl. Hayden was watching us now.
