Darkness Betrayed (Torn) (7 page)

She’d given me a lot to think about. I sat, staring out the window, feeling a familiar tingle wash over my skin. I rubbed my arms to ward off the chill.

“I’m not nuts.” I felt like I was nuts, but I didn’t want her to know that.

“Okay, so you’re not nuts. Are we done?”

I looked at her. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Good. I need to clear coat my toes or they’ll chip. And I’m missing my favorite show.” She grabbed the remote from her bedside table and clicked on the television. My cue to leave.

I paused at the door and turned to her. “Thanks. You’re really not so bad.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it get around.”

I began pulling the door closed when she spoke again, this time more softly. “Just be careful, Sam.”

I smiled tightly, still wary that something was off, and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Christian was leaning against the counter eating some yogurt.

“Hey.” I obviously surprised him because he jumped.

“Hello. Can’t sleep?”

“Nah. Bad dreams.” I opened the fridge, took a bottle of water and leaned against the countertop.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Christian wasn’t very talkative normally. As a matter of fact, I realized he and I had never had a proper on-on-one conversation in the weeks that I’d known him. “No, thanks. What are you doing up?”

“We just got back from patrol. Mara went up to bed.”

Patrol. No one would let me patrol. They were afraid I’d be abducted or killed or something.
I really need to get my shit together.

“You know, we are all here,
on your side. Even Noah and Cal with all their cynical blabbering, we
are
all here.”

What a strange thing to say.
“I know. Thanks.”

“I don’t know you very well
, but what I do know is that you mean well. I know you are having difficulty with all this: the whole balance thing, Lucas’ betrayal, Sebastian… Damien.”

I looked at him when he mentioned the last name. “Thanks. I’ll be okay, I think.”

His eyes met mine. “You mustn’t forget, however, that Sebastian still has the Box of Hope.”

The Box of Hope -
the thing that had been my focus had left my thoughts over the past couple of days. He was right. First and foremost, I needed to get the box from Sebastian. All this other
stuff
was distracting me. And for someone who was supposed to lead the search, I wasn’t much of anything but a figurehead. For a moment, I understood what Damien meant when he mentioned his position in the Exiled ranks. I knew then that the Faithful didn’t need me as much as I’d thought.

“You’re right.” Willing leade
rship to take over, I continued. “Do we have any more information on its whereabouts?”

“Nothing new, from what I can
gather. He’s out there, though, blending in with the human population. Last we heard he was in New York, some fundraiser for a crooked politician. He donated a lot of money to get this guy elected. There were photos of him in the paper.” He dropped his spoon in the sink.

“Of course there were,” I muttered, angry with myself for losing focus. “He’s playing with us.”

“Whatever he’s doing, he’s certainly not hiding, Sam. Not really. And that makes me think he’s about to set whatever plan he has in motion. The others, clans of us from around the world are watching him.”

As the words left his lips, darkness churned in my stomach as we heard a bang on the front porch. Christian and I raced to the front door and threw it open. Noah was standing tense, sword drawn, and face angry. Rage filled his eyes and I filled myself up with it until focus returned to him. He didn’t lower his weapon and I turned my head to find where his sword was
pointing. Standing with his back against the house, bloodied and bruised with a smirk on his face, was the intruder.

“Hey Sam.”

I stepped in front of him, my eyes searching his for an answer, any answer. Finding none, I slapped him.

Ethan!
My silence reached him faster and louder than anything verbal could have.

He and
Malena charged outside, confused but ready to fight. Malena gasped, hand flying to her mouth. Ethan stood confused by what he saw on the porch until I moved away from the intruder. I watched as recognition dawned over him and he dropped his sword.

Silent, Ethan took a tentative step forward, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “What the hell?”

“I ruined my pedicure for
this
?”

I stared at
Malena and questioned her priorities.

Chapter 10

“Hey brother.” I was surprised that sorrow, not sarcasm, was evident in Lucas’ words.

Ethan stood, still as a statue, as color drained from his face. 

“I found him just beyond the line of trees. He was watching the house,” Noah reported.

“I wasn’t watching the house, douchebag. I was trying to figure out how to come back.” Lucas’ hatred of Noah dripped from his words.

Noah stepped forward and I put up my hand to stop his advance.

“And why would you want to do that?” Ethan’s voice
quivered. My heart constricted, hungry for his pain. But I knew I needed him to feel it this time. He needed to let it rise inside him so he could examine it. In the meantime, my own hatred consumed me.

“I don’t trust him.”
Malena was standing at the door, staring at her fingernails, no trace of emotion clouding her words. Words that echoed my thoughts.

“Ah,
Malena. Long time no see.”

“I didn’t like you when I first met you two years ago and I don’t like you now.”

“That’s right. You liked Ethan.” His wink punched me in the gut but I defiantly held his stare as my wings opened with a crack. Rage became wrath as memories of my father, and Lucas’ hand in his death, barreled through me.

“Calm down, Sam.” Branna had just come outside and placed her hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.

“I can’t.”

“You can. Ethan, do something.”

I felt a surge of light try to invade the darkness. Strength filled me as shadows pushed back, winning the internal battle. I reached to my back for my sword and realized I didn’t have it with me. A swirl of panic nudged at the back of my mind. A small part of me knew what was about to happen, and knew I was powerless to stop it.

Eye
s narrowed, I lifted my palm. Lucas began to rise, legs dangling a foot from the floor. Wind howled and trees cracked in submission. Fire raged until I was unreachable, a mere spectator. I watched in horror as I beat my wings and Lucas screamed in pain. Over and over until I screamed at myself to stop. Blood flowed from his nose and mouth as I watched him fly through the air only to land in a crumbled heap in the grass.

He put up his hands in resignation. “Please, Samantha. Stop. I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? After what you did? After you set up my father to be killed? After you betrayed me, betrayed everyone? You deserve to feel pain, the pain I take from everyone else because of you. Hurt me? Not anymore.” Both arms outstretched, I could only look on as I gathered all the despair inside me and force-fed it to Lucas. His eyes widened and he screamed, grabbing his head in an attempt to rid it of the terrible images I pushed into him.

“Enough, Samantha!” Cal ran towards me and I whipped my head in his direction, sending him flying back onto the porch.

“I’ll decide when it’s enough.”

“No, Sam!” Ethan pleaded with the vengeful part of me and I could do nothing to stop any of it.

I watched as they all began to clutch their ears and fall to the ground. The noise was deafening, but I was unaffected. A hum of evil filled the night while I continued to torture Lucas. Blood oozed from Ethan’s ears. I tried to run to myself, to reconnect, anything to stop it, but I was rooted to my spot. A smile traced the lips of my other self as I/she looked in my direction. The girl standing there was almost unrecognizable. She was pure Exiled. Sebastian’s laugh rang in my ears.

Lucas’
scream echoed over the hum yet I continued the onslaught. Terrified, I watched as I began to close my fist.

Pain began to siphon from me and I was losing strength. Lucas stopped convulsing, fell to the ground in a crumpled heap and passed out. The noise quieted and the others slowly began to stand, each backing away from me with distrust in their eyes.

“I’m so sorry.” My voice floated on deaf ears, they couldn’t hear me when I wasn’t in control.

Almost in unison, their gazes turned toward Lucas and the girl I no longer recognized. Someone was standing out there, hand on mine, whispering words I couldn’t catch from up where I was observing. I saw my head fall to my chest and felt the darkness slip away.

The man standing out there looked in my imprisoned direction and smiled, eyes gleaming red. Heat flushed to my face and lust tightened my belly.

“Come.” He beckoned me to reunite with who I’d become.

Unbeknownst to the others, I began to step toward him. When I reached where they stood, he grabbed my shaky hand. I felt a wall break down as my two selves converged to become whole once again.

I gripped the hand that held mine; the transition back was painful. Physical pain had never been a part of the separation
or subsequent reunion until that moment. Damien continued to put me back together. His touch was my only comfort and I held on for dear life.

He spoke to the others. “Get this young man inside. He needs time to heal. Then leave us.”

At first, no one moved, obviously surprised and concerned that the devil was giving them orders to take care of Lucas, the traitor. “Please, help him,” I whispered, looking away quickly.

Malena
and Cal helped Lucas into the house; the others followed them. Only Ethan remained, questions filling his face.

Samantha?

Please go.

You need me.

You can’t help me.

But…

No. Just go.

I, once again, began to feed off of his pain as confused thoughts plagued him. He turned to enter the house, looked over his shoulder and dropped his shoulders, defeated.

“Samantha,” Damien whispered. “You need to rest.”

My head swam with embarrassment a
t my inability to rein myself in. I took comfort in the fact that he, not Ethan, was here to console me.

Holding both my hands in his, he dropped his forehead to mine. “Do you now see why you need my help? Do you now see why we can only defeat Sebastian together?”

I nodded in resignation, unable to formulate any coherent words.

“Come, let’s get you to bed.”

I allowed him to lead me to my room. He took up the spot normally reserved for Ethan.  I was jumpy and shaken, unable to fall asleep quickly until Damien reached out and took my hand in his and freed me from my angst.

Chapter 11

I woke the next morning still clutching his hand. I was warm and content for the first few minutes of the day until I remembered the incident from last night. I bolted upright, pulling my hand from his, clutching my throat. Memories of the evil that had filled constricted my airways. I struggled to breathe, gasping. Damien placed his hands on my neck. As quickly as the panic had risen and spread through me, it was extinguished by his touch.

“It’s okay, Samantha. We’ll
work together.”

L
arge, black tears fell from my eyes and stained my blanket. “I can’t do that again. I was hurting my friends. I can’t do that!”
Did I really still consider Lucas a friend?

“Shhh. I know.” He moved to my bed and pulled me into a hug as he stroked my back, my hair; calming me as I then knew only he could.

“Please help me.” My voice was small. I cringed at the weakness that plagued me.

“I will. I will help all of you. It seems they have much invested in you. When we’re done and ready to face Sebastian, you won’t have to separate yourself to reach the darkness. I will teach you to tether the light so you can easily come back.”

“They don’t trust you.”

His hand stopped stroking my hair for a moment. “They will. Trust me.”

“What are we going to do about Lucas?”

“I’ll take care of him.”

My imagination ran away with me at his words.

“You get up and dressed. I will meet you downstairs. We’ll get started today. Sebastian will know Lucas is here. Whether or not he sent him has yet to be determined. Either way, he’s ready to face you.”

He lifted his hand and my iPod started to play a comforting playlist of songs I’d compiled for times of stress. I smiled and closed my eyes when I felt his lips on mine.

“I will always take care of you
, Samantha.”

His loaded promise blanketed me in doubt and anticipation.

***

My skin felt raw after I’d showered and scrubbed the shadows off of me. Looking in the mirror, as I brushed my hair, I contemplated the pendant hanging from my neck. It still hadn’t worked the way I was told. It didn’t bring me light. All it ever did was increase the amount of negative energy that swirled around me. For a moment I grasped it in my hand and thought about taking it off, if only for a little while.

Instead, I moved closer to the mirror until my nose touched the cool glass and stared into my black eyes. My breath fogged my reflection and I saw a distorted view of myself. Could I have changed that much, already? No trace of blue was left; all that remained was the color of raven’s wings. I blinked a few times, willing myself to change back. But each time I opened them, burning coals stared back. Sebastian had shown me eyes like mine, like they were cut from the same hard, cold, black stone. But he could change his back to that of a tranquil green meadow. How sad that all I could think about was the color of my eyes and the wish that they’d return to blue.

I stepped back from the mirror and turned. Head over my shoulder, I spread open my wings and contemplated them in the glass. They were beautiful
and took up the entire space. Silver and black moved and shimmered with each subtle movement. Even on the outside, light and dark were vying for control. I reached my hand over my shoulder and felt where they connected to my body.

The dull ache that
had accompanied the arrival of my wings had long since evaporated. Now they were as much a part of me as my elbows and knees. I plucked a small feather and held it up to the sunlight that streamed through the window, completely lost in thought.

Samanthaaa
...

I steeled myself at his words as my spine straightened.

You have something I want.

No.

Lucas has been a very, very bad boy. Return him to me.

I shook my head and pivoted, looking for him.

Join me. I know about your little plan.

I closed my eyes to erase his connection but when I opened them, he was staring back at me through the mirror with a wicked smile on his face, those green eyes of memory fading to black.

I can give you everything.

He was just as beautiful as I’d remembered. His skin was just the right color of warm caramel. The line of his jaw angled just so. The color of his lips held just the right amount of red. I reached and grazed my fingers on the mirror and he did the same. I frowned. He frowned. I touched my own face. He touched his. Backing up from the mirror I reached for my hairbrush and saw hi
m reach for something, too. The brush flew towards his reflection. His laughter echoed over the sound of breaking glass.

***

I tore down the stairs to find the lot of them sitting quietly, attentive to Damien’s commanding presence in the middle of the room. Surveying the room quickly, I saw Mara eating an apple and Ethan leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Even Cal and Noah were entranced by the words of the devil. Malena, on the other hand, looked bored, picking at her freshly polished fingernails. A smile tugged at my mouth.
She really doesn’t give a shit.
The only two missing were Branna and Christian, until I remembered Lucas.
Where’s Lucas?

My encounter with Sebastian became lost as I took it all in. “Ahem.” I cleared my throat to get their attention.

“Ahh. Here she is.” Damien walked over and put his arm around my shoulder like I was some celebrity guest. “As I was saying, we need to do everything we can, put all our differences aside to defeat Sebastian. I know where he keeps the box and we will retrieve it. But you can no longer doubt Samantha and her abilities if I am to help you. She will have control. I will make sure of it.”

They all nodded in agreement and I was surprised at how docile they all were. Not one word in protest, not one word to the contrary. It was like they were all motivated by the sound of his voice. Much like I was motivated by his mere presence. Like little lambs following their shepherd. My hands opened and closed into fists and my nerves were screaming. I couldn’t escape the
clutches of my anxiety.

“Samantha, do you have anything to add?” Eager eyes turned to me, all sense of distrust from the night before vanished.

“LucasranfromSebastian.” I winced as my declaration came out as all one word.

“How do you know?” Mara’s quiet voice penetrated through the room.

“Sebastian told me.”

Damien’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes and his voice was tight. “He was here?”

“Kind of. He was in the mirror.”

“In the what? What?” Noah’s face betrayed his disbelief.

“I was brushing my hair, looking at my eyes and I heard him. Then when I looked again, his face reflected back to me.”

“Checking yourself out, were you?”

“Shut up, Malena!”

“Fine. What do you mean when you say Sebastian was in the mirror?” Her voice lilted just a shade
, more concerned than bored.

“What part wasn’t clear? I know you have nails to polish and sarcasm to spew but I’m not sure what part of that you didn’t understand.”

“Relax. I was clarifying.”

Looking from
Malena to me with thinly veiled annoyance, Damien grabbed my hand, turned on his heel and led me toward the kitchen. At the table were Branna, Christian and a roughed up Lucas.

Dried blood
was caked on his face. His wings, which seemed to be growing back, were small and broken. I hated him.

“How did you escape?” Damien began.

“I don’t really know. I was in some sort of room shackled to the floor. I woke up and the shackles were gone. I don’t remember much.” His gaze landed on a napkin he was tearing to shreds. Thoughts of me shackled to the floor just before I met Damien swirled into nothing.

“Why did you come here? I thought you had pledged your screwy sense of allegiance to him and the Exiled?” My voice quivered in anger and he shook.

Damien laid his hand on my arm to quell the storm as he continued the line of questioning. “You didn’t find that odd? That it was so easy to get away from him?”

“I did. But my only thought was to get back here. It was all I could focus on. I couldn’t remember, not totally, why I’d left in the first place. I still don’t entirely know.”

“Liar!” Damien held me back as I lunged at Lucas with my full strength.

Lucas recoiled from me. “I wish I was lying
, Sam. I don’t know what happened, at least not all of it.”

“You don’t remember selling out my dad and helping Sebastian find him? You don’t remember him killing my dad when he found him? Killing Jesse? You don’t remember how you betrayed me, our friendship, your
brother
, the Faithful because you’d chosen to follow him?”

“Samantha, I think you should leave. Branna, please take her for a walk. She needs to calm down.” Damien’s voice was dangerously even.

I yanked my arm from his grip. “Fuck you!”

I flinched as demonic eyes surveyed me and his face twisted, once again, to show the devil below the surface. “You’d do well to
listen to what I say. Go. Now.”

Branna led me out of the room, a trail of electric hate following us.

“Come on, Samantha. Let’s go for a walk.”

“I don’t want to go for a walk.”

“Of course you don’t. But you can’t be here. Not like this. Let the others figure out what Lucas’ deal is.”

The farther from Lucas I got, the calmer I felt. “Fine. I want to run. Alone.”

She looked like she was going to say something in protest but I interrupted her before she could get out the words. “I’ll be okay. I’ll bring my sword. If I’m not back in an hour, you can send the cavalry. I just need to be alone.”

Before she could challenge me, I ran up the stairs, threw on a sweatshirt and sneakers, grabbed my iPo
d and headed out the door.

I took off
at an unreasonable pace, challenging myself from the first stride. Turning up the music, I was tempted to go for angry but settled on heavy beats and fast music. My breath fogged in the crisp fall New England air and my footfalls crunched on the fallen leaves.

When I finally settled my stride, I was vaguely aware of my surroundings. The path was worn and scenic but I didn’t stop to enjoy the view. I just ran and ran and ran; clearing my head of everything – trying to get back to
that girl I was not so long ago: the girl who was content to have fun, who shied away from confrontation. The girl who existed before her best friend betrayed her and her secret crush kissed her. Before her father died and Sebastian tried to kill her. Before Damien.

His name jolted me and, tripping on a root, I tumbled into a small pile of leaves. Instead of getting up, I rolled to my back and just lay there trying to catch my breath. I focused on emptying everything out of my head. And it was bliss, watching my breath fog above me,
removing the messiest parts of my life, even if only for a little while. I stared up at the towering trees that blocked out most of the rising sun and contemplated change. Again.

I was sick of the indecisive whine of who I’d become. The fact that I couldn’t make a decision, that I couldn’t control myself made me ill. I didn’t want to end up a stereotypical lead in one of those cheesy, my-life-sucks-everyone-hates-me YA novels.  I needed to demonstrate strength. I needed to demonstrate leadership. The kid gloves everyone wore around me needed to come off and be burned. Light and dark needed to coexist inside me if I was ever going to be of any use, if I was ever going to do what was expected of me. It wasn’t enough to think it or to say it – I needed to
do
it. If every other part of my training came so easy, why wasn’t I able to master that? God, it was frustrating.

My playlist switched to calm and I allowed serenity to alleviate any misgivings and doubt about what I could and could not do. As I began to drift, light and dark swirled around me.

“Samantha.”

A
winged girl with a beautiful gossamer dress floated in front of me, bathing me in light and warmth.

“Samantha. You are losing your way.” Her soft words floated to me.

“I’m trying.”

“No. No you aren’t. We need you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You aren’t trying hard enough. You are allowing emotion to dictate your actions. You’ll never be able to make the decision if you continue on this path.”

“It’s so hard.” I looked to my hands, wringing them until they tangled.

“It isn’t meant to be easy. It’s a path of difficult choices and events. You will be betrayed before you will succeed. ”

I cocked my head to the side. “You said that before.”

“And it needs to be said again and again until you understand.”

“But Lucas betrayed me.”

“It isn’t Lucas’ betrayal that will define you.”

“So you’re saying someone else will turn against me?”

“It must be this way.”