DarkestSin (17 page)

“Hey,” Xan called as she started to grab the last bag.

“Hi, girl. Come on over.” Roxie motioned for her to join
them, so Xan left the lone bag in her car and headed across the street.

“What happened? You get a flat?” As if that wasn’t obvious.

“Yeah,” Roxie sighed. “Chad’s changin’ it now. Don’t know
what happened. I guess I hit some glass last night or something coming from the
game ’cause it was plumb flat this mornin’.

“No telling. At least you didn’t get stranded somewhere.”

“No lie. I’m glad Chad was here this mornin’ to fix it. So,
whatcha been out doin’?

“Shopping.”

“All done, Mom. You should head over to Sheppard’s and get
them to replace it. You don’t need to be drivin’ around on this donut.”

“Yes, son,” Roxie said, chuckling, then turned to Xan.
“Wanna come? I could use some girl talk.”

Xan stiffened at the idea of running into Brody. He’d been
avoiding her, and the last thing she wanted to do was go crawling around him
like some stray dog, begging for attention. “I-I don’t think—”

“Oh, c’mon now. Please? I don’t wanna sit up there all by my
lonesome. They don’t even have a TV in the waitin’ room.”

Well, Brody did leave in the wrecker, so he should be gone a
while. That thought gave her the encouragement she needed to say yes. She
didn’t mind going if she didn’t have to face him and the humiliation of an
in-person rejection. “Sure. Just let me get the last of my bags in.”

“Goodie!” Roxie clapped her hands and Xan shook her head
with a smile as she walked across the street back to her car. She grabbed the
last of the bags, shut the hatchback, and carried it inside. She yelled to
Scott that she was going with Roxie to get her tire fixed and headed back outside.
Roxie was already in her driveway.

Xan climbed into the car and turned down the awful country
music.

“What’s goin’ on with Brutus? He still avoiding you?”

They’d just had this conversation last night at the boys’
football game. “Nothing’s changed since last night, Roxie.”

“Well, I’ve been thinkin’ about your little predicament,”
Roxie said as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “That night we went out, you
told me about people watchin’ you. Maybe he knows something about that?”

Hmm. That was what Xan wondered too, but why would Roxie
consider that a possibility. “I don’t know who it could be. Why do you say
that?”

“Because he always kept to himself, except when he banged
some bimbo, but even then he tended to go out of town to pick up some chicks.
Then you come to town, and he’s on you like bees to a daffodil.”

Xan smiled. “Maybe he’s just trying to pollinate me.”

Roxie giggled. “I know, right? Men. Always thinking with
their peckers.” She waved her hand and turned up the air conditioner even
though they were about to pull into the garage. “It’s already September, you’d
think it’d cool down already. Anyway, what I’m sayin’ is that maybe he has a
reason for, um, for—”

“Fucking me?” Xan prompted, and Roxie blushed. “Honestly? I
thought about that, but I can’t be sure. It doesn’t really matter now since
he’s treating me like some diseased outcast.”

“Oh, hush up. He is not. He’s a man. Didn’t I just say that
men think with their wee-wees? You just need to speak a language he
understands,” Roxie said as she turned off her car in front of the empty bay.

They both got out and entered the lobby. Colonel walked
over, wiping his hands on a grease cloth. “Hello, ladies. How can I help you?”

“Hey there, Colonel. My tire’s flat. Chad changed it and
threw it in the trunk. Can you fix it for me?” She handed him her keys. Xan
didn’t miss her glancing at the bays, probably seeking out Bear. Except for the
one time Roxie had confessed what happened, she never spoke of him, but knowing
the truth, Xan could see the hurt in Roxie’s eyes.

“Sure thing. It may be a while. We’re shorthanded at the
moment.”

“That’s okay. We’ll wait.”

Xan followed Roxie to the couch and sat beside her, figuring
she shouldn’t bring up Bear and instead thinking about the last thing Roxie had
said before getting out of the car. “What do you mean I need to speak his
language? He’s a man, not an alien.”

Roxie leaned back, crossing her arms over her perfect body
and raising an eyebrow at her. “How long has it been since you’ve been with a
man?”

“Umm, a week?” Xan shrugged innocently, knowing that wasn’t
the answer Roxie was looking for.

“I don’t mean with Brutus, you dork. I mean before him.”

“A while.” She was
not
going to be specific. Oh hell,
no.

“Okay, look. Maybe you’re just out of practice then. I do know
you’re under some kind of protection—”

“Shhhh.” Xan swatted Roxie’s shoulder. Jesus, why didn’t she
just take out a dang ad in the paper?
Xan Bradley, prude, is on the run from
her ex-husband, Marco Collins.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “Any-hoo, I think maybe you haven’t
had too many opportunities to keep from getting rusty.”

Lord have mercy. Xan needed to find the exit to get off this
horror ride right now. “Get to the point.”

“Seduce him.” Roxie smiled crookedly at Xan.

“Seduce him? How?” They’d already had sex. If she threw
herself at him and he turned her down, she wouldn’t even take the time to go
find a hole to crawl in because that’d take too long. Nope, she’d just dig one
where she stood.

“Remember the night at the club? You went out and bought a
kick-ass outfit, and he couldn’t keep his hands off you.”

“I can’t afford to run out and buy something sexy every time
I want to get him into bed. Besides, if he doesn’t want me for
me
, then
I’m not interested.” Her vagina was calling foul on that.

“Oh, honey. You don’t have to do that every time. Just every
now and then to remind him what he’s missing. Besides, I wasn’t really talkin’
about
outer
clothes. I was thinking more along the lines of lingerie.”
She wagged her eyebrows, biting her lower lip.

“Good grief. How in the world would he see me in that if I
can’t get him alone? I’ve only seen him on the road a few times. I can’t
exactly drive around in a teddy.”

“Invite him over—”

“No.” Xan was already shaking her head.

“Scott can stay the night with—”

“Uh-uh.”

“Chad. And you can have the house all to—”

“No way.”

“Yourself. Why? You can’t tell me you’re chicken?
Bwok,
bwok
.” She put her hands in her armpits and started flapping her arms. “
Bwok,
bwok
!”

“Shut up,” Xan hissed, grabbing one of her arms before Roxie
stood and did the damn chicken dance in the middle of the garage lobby.

Roxie giggled as she relaxed back into her seat. “C’mon.
Give it some thought. It’s not like either of you are goin’ anywhere. Mark my
words. You wear the right thing, and you’ll have him eatin’ right out of your
hands, girl. Besides, you could use a little some-some.”

Xan sighed and started to say something when the door to the
lobby opened. She turned and stared right into her Viking’s dark-blue eyes. His
sunglasses were resting on his head, sweat trickling down his brow. Damn, she
wanted to get up and lick it off his body. But knowing that was a really bad
idea no matter how much her vagina was seconding it, she couldn’t seem to tear
her eyes away from him.

And he just stood there, staring back, his eyes dilating so
quickly the blue bled to black before her eyes, the heat in them unmistakable.
Oh yeah, he wanted her, so why was he resisting?

But as he stood there, the passion in his gaze shifted to
sadness, and then something dark, almost devastating. He swallowed a few times,
licked his lips, then looked at his feet and rubbed his nape under the hair
tie, mussing the sweaty strands that clung to his neck.

“Everything all right with your car?”

It was obvious he was speaking to Xan, but the fact that he
looked away from her hurt. She tamped down that unfamiliar feeling and cleared
her throat. “Yeah. Roxie had a flat, and she wanted me to keep her company
while it was fixed.”

He nodded and looked up—at Roxie. “You’ve been waitin’
long?”

“Not too long.” She shrugged.

“Um, I’ll go see if anyone’s started on it. If not, I’ll
take care of it.”

And then he left the lobby without another glance at Xan.

“Hmmm. That boy is fightin’ some major demons. Did you see
that face? Bless his heart. I don’t think it’s anything you did, honey. I think
you need to comfort him. And the best way to do that is to wrap your pussy
around his cock,” she whispered.

“Roxie!” Sheesh. “He hardly looked at me. Kinda hard to
offer comfort when someone is avoiding you.”

“Oh, now don’t be a sourpuss. You know what they say—you
catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar.”

Xan took a deep breath. Maybe she really did need Roxie’s
advice. At the least, she needed to get Brody to talk to her about his change
of heart. “Fine,” she relented. “How do you propose I do that?”

“Easy. Douse yourself in honey and go catch that fly. Let
him spend all night licking it off your body.”

If only it were that easy.

Brody watched as Roxie and Xan pulled out of the garage, a
heavy feeling in his chest. He’d busted ass to get a new tire on Roxie’s wheel,
get her tires balanced, and get them the hell out of here. God, he’d missed Xan
like crazy, and seeing her was like pouring a pound of salt on an open wound,
one he’d created himself by denying any contact with her.

One he’d created years ago by killing her daughter.

That was still a bitter pill to swallow, but he had no other
choice than to face the facts. It was the only conclusion that made sense
because the only memories he had of her was when she’d been all dolled up, and
from Gage’s, Blade’s and Brody’s research, the only time in her life when she’d
dressed in designer clothes like that was when she was married to Collins. Add
that to the fact Brody had been in some mysterious accident that by all
accounts should’ve left him for dead, rather than with a case of amnesia, that
could’ve happened around the time of Xan’s marriage to Collins—it really didn’t
bode well for Brody. Collins could’ve tried to ice him after he killed the baby
to cover it up. He tried every angle to refute those possibilities and came up
horribly short. And disappointed.

And utterly devastated.

He’d been a wreck this past week, growling around the garage
like a lion with a sore paw. And the truth was he was a man with an aching
heart. He couldn’t deny his feelings for Xan anymore. He was in love with her.
And he fucking destroyed her life. He didn’t deserve to be in the same room
with her, much less buried in her body. Hell, he didn’t even deserve to fantasize
about her. His ass should be locked up on death row, if not already gassed.

He hadn’t allowed himself to look at her even when he was
keeping an eye on her place. He’d seen her car in the driveway and knew she was
home, but he kept to the shadows and watched for any signs of unfriendly
activity at night, and made sweeps of her house during the day while she was at
work and Scott was at school. And he thought just being in her house was the
worst form of torture. Hell, seeing all the places he’d touched her body and
smelling her lingering vanilla scent was bad. But seeing her just now? That was
pure agony.

He hoped it’d get better as time went on, but being forced
to see her today proved that wasn’t possible. He obviously couldn’t remember
for sure if he’d ever been in love before, but he knew he hadn’t been since
losing his memory. Until now.

He’d spent these years seeking sexual release with willing
women and without emotional attachments, not because he was afraid of falling
in love, but because he didn’t know how to be in love with someone. And he
still didn’t know how to accept it, deal with it.

It didn’t matter. He didn’t deserve to be in the same room
with her, so he sure as hell didn’t deserve to be in a relationship with her.
As he thought about her, he knew he’d never love another woman again. She was
the only woman fully suited for him, but he wasn’t suited for her. So now he
had to learn how to live life without the one woman his heart demanded. If he
was man enough, he’d confess to her what he’d done.

But something like that needed to be discussed in person,
and he knew if he were alone with her, his cock would overrule all rational
thought. To touch her would be succumbing to the darkest sin, one there was no
redemption for. He was already damned, and he’d do his best to keep from
dragging her with him.

So he was doomed to live a life of hell, knowing he hurt the
woman he loved. It didn’t matter that it happened before he fell in love with
her. He was a monster, and he couldn’t change his past no matter how much he
wished it.

Colonel dropped some lug nuts and cursed, yanking Brody out
of his depressing thoughts, though he knew he’d never truly escape them, only
be granted brief reprieves.

“Where the fuck is Gage? That little shit knows better than
to take off on a Saturday. His ass is the lowest on this totem pole. He should
be working overtime to ensure he stays welcome at this job.” Colonel grumbled
as he picked up the items he’d dropped.

“He’ll be in later,” Brody said, stepping over to help
Colonel. He didn’t want to tell his boss where Gage was—in Prairie County,
Arkansas, doing some digging on Dave Simmons.

“Colonel’s right, that punk is new, so if anybody gets a
Saturday off, it shouldn’t be him,” Roc said from across the shop.

It’d been a week since Brody found out about Roc feeding
innuendo to Xan about Mimi, and he’d been avoiding him because Brody knew he’d
knock out that jackass if given the opportunity. But keeping his distance
didn’t help him to keep his mouth shut. Brody knew he’d been snapping at Roc
all week, but Colonel acted sympathetic, probably figuring that Brody’s mood
was specific to the baby-killing news and not something personal, so he hadn’t
chided him over it.

“He’s been here for two fucking years, asshole. We all get
days off now and then,” Brody growled.

Roc slammed down his wrench and pointed his finger at Brody
from over the car he was working on. “I wasn’t talkin’ to you, motherfucker.
You can back off my ass any time now. I’m sick of your shit. I ain’t done nothin’
to you!”

That was it. Brody shoved off the ground and stormed over to
Roc. “You haven’t done anything to me? You haven’t
done
anything to me?
Is that right?” Brody reached the black-haired jerk, grabbed a handful of his
shirt and pushed him into the side of the car. “How the
fuck
do you
explain Mimi?” Brody yelled in his face.

Roc blanched briefly, then narrowed his green eyes. He put
his hands against Brody’s chest and shoved, but Brody was much bigger, and so
pissed he couldn’t be moved.

“Get off! I didn’t do anything to Mimi.”

“I’m talking about what you said to Xan about her. Your
punk-ass practically told her I was fucking Mimi!”

All work in the shop stopped and a couple of the guys
gasped. “Dude, that ain’t right,” Hunter said.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” Bear shook his head as he
headed over to break up the impending fight.

“He likes stirring up trouble, that’s what,” Blade muttered.

“I never said you were doing Mimi,” Roc spat. “I told her
you were over at Mimi’s house and had been there all morning. It ain’t my fault
she assumed the worst.”

“You lyin’ sack of shit!” Brody’s fist connected with Roc’s
face once, twice, before Bear threw his arms around him to pull him away.

He wasn’t strong enough, so Hunter and Blade jumped in to
help. The three were finally able to peel Brody off Roc.

“It ain’t my fault you’re sweet on her pussy,” Roc yelled as
he threw a punch. Brody blocked it, but not before it made contact with his jaw
and slid away.

Getting sucker punched by a prick who was bad-mouthing Xan
made Brody’s blood boil even hotter. He roared and dragged the three men
holding him back in Roc’s direction and hit him again.

“Enough!” Colonel ordered as he grabbed Roc and pulled him
away from the group. It was easier to move the smaller man, and it seemed as if
Colonel was going to let it go. But then he got in Brody’s face. “Get the hell
out of here. Go cool off at home.”

Then he turned to Roc. “You too. And if you want a job to
come back to, you’ll watch your fucking mouth in the future. Got it?”

Roc grunted and nodded before looking away. Brody stalked
off to his motorcycle, revved it up, and shot out of the parking lot. He was so
pissed he was shaking. So much for not acting on that rage. When he’d snapped,
there was no going back. Roc deserved every hit, and then some. Brody should’ve
pushed the other guys off and pummeled that jackass. Misguided anger or not,
Roc needed to be taken down a peg or two, and Brody was just the man to do it.
If that man so much as breathed wrong around him, he’d take him out.

He wasn’t ready to go home because he knew he’d drown his
frustrations, anger, pain in more alcohol, so he drove to Gage’s house, hoping
he was back and had found something about Dave Simmons. When he neared, he saw
Gage’s truck, so he pulled in. After parking, he strode up to the door and
knocked. He heard the chain rattle just before the door opened.

“Hey, man. C’mon in.” Brody followed Gage back into his
living room where he had a laptop open and papers strewn about. They both sat
on the shabby couch. “Whatcha doin’ here so early? I figured I wouldn’t see you
for a couple more hours.”

Brody swiped his hand over his face and then over his hair.
“Got sent home for fighting with Roc.”

“Ah, well, that was bound to happen.” Gage chuckled. “He
needs a good ass-whipping anyway.”

“Yeah,” Brody grunted. “It was stopped before it really
started.” He sighed as he sat back and ran his hands over his jeans. “Any luck
today?”

“Yes and no. We still can’t count Simmons out as a suspect,
but he hasn’t been hiding anything. He was there at the farm today, and I spoke
to him. I flashed him one of the fake identification badges Colonel had made
for us. Told him I was an FBI agent working the Collins case.” Gage wagged his
eyebrows. “He hadn’t seemed uneasy with that and answered the general questions
I’d asked. But when I acted like the questions were over and pretended to be
shootin’ the shit with him, I asked him about his retirement and he clammed up.
Didn’t volunteer any information and promptly escorted me off the property.”

“Hmmm, that could be taken a couple of different ways.
Either he’s dirty and was covering his ass, or—”

“Or he’s just a former agent who answered questions to help
another agent out and wanted to keep his personal life off the table.”

Either way, Simmons was still a suspect. “We need something
more concrete before we decide if he’s a real threat to her.”

“Yeah, I’ve been following the money. So far, that big
deposit is the only one that doesn’t fit. It came out of nowhere, and he
hightailed it out of the agency as soon as that puppy cleared the bank. Short
of asking him outright, which we can’t do, it’s taking longer than I wanted
finding the source.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate you doing all this.”

Gage sat back and stared at Brody for several seconds. “She
means a lot to you.”

It wasn’t a question, but Brody felt like answering anyway.
“Yep.” As hopeless as the situation was, his feelings were not questionable.

“Look. I know I’ve told you this before, Brutus, but you
shouldn’t take what Colonel told you at face value. Think about it. He’s
getting intel from sources that are shady. Those guys have their own agendas.
Who’s to say the Tess Collins story wasn’t fed with a specific outcome in
mind.”

Part of what Gage was saying was true, but Brody couldn’t
afford to hope. And yet…

“What would anybody gain by leading me to believe I’d killed
Xan’s baby?”

“The very fact that you’re questioning yourself is reason
enough. Who knows, man? These guys could be looking for a score and would know
Collins is looking for his ex and his kid. We still haven’t cornered that Dale
Adams rat. Someone knows Xan and Scott are hiding out here, and we don’t know
how close that someone is to Collins. If Adams worked for Collins, he’d be here
by now. So I think Adams is some third-party player. He sees you hanging around
Xan, feeds this to his boss. Colonel asks questions about your past to people
who’d have been around during that time—people like this Dale Adams character.
The right person has his ears open, and he can figure out how to play
everything to his advantage. If they can’t get to Xan because you’re always
around, they take you out. They can’t get close enough to you physically, so
they mess with your head, hope to trip you up, catch you off guard.”

Brody chuckled, the first time he felt genuine humor since
learning the dreadful news. “That’s some story you’ve conjured up.
Unfortunately, you have no proof except to show me the ass you pulled it out
of.”

Gage smiled and punched Brody’s shoulder. “My point is we
don’t know what happened. If it makes you feel better to distance yourself from
Xan, then I’m not going to argue. But I think you should be critical of
anything you learn about your past. No matter how good or bad it seems.”

Brody felt a little better looking at his situation through
Gage’s eyes. He made sense, and maybe Brody should be a little more leery of
what he’d learned about his previous life. But even if there was the slightest
possibility that he killed Xan’s daughter, he had to live with it if that were
the case. It didn’t change anything about his relationship with Xan. It only
gave him motivation to seek the truth for himself.

“Thanks, man. I’m gonna head out. Let me know if you find
anything about Simmons’ money.”

“Will do.”

Brody left and let the thrilling hum of this bike soothe his
muscles. He was still pissed at Roc and fighting the urge to demand answers
from Colonel on his informational sources, but now that he had a glimmer, a
sliver of hope, his mind was fighting to recall Xan’s beautiful body spread out
beneath him. He couldn’t allow that because nothing had truly changed. But as
soon as he got a few beers in him, his moral fiber would dissolve and he’d find
himself wrapped up in a Xan fantasy so hot, he’d be jacking off all night.

A few minutes later, Brody was pulling into his driveway. He
killed the engine and walked into his house, heading straight for his kitchen.
It was time to get started on drowning his morals so he could dream about the
woman he loved, doing very naughty things to his body. He yanked the fridge
door open, grabbed a beer, and twisted off the cap. He downed half before he
turned and almost choked on the last bit.

Because in his haste, he hadn’t noticed he wasn’t alone in
his kitchen.

Xan sat in a chair at the far end of the table, facing him,
wearing the sexiest, purple-and-black negligee he’d ever seen. His dick was
already half hard with images of Xan’s beautiful body. Now it was painfully
erect. Thankfully, he was too shocked to groan at the sight of her because he’d
definitely be making some noises. He took two steps in her direction before he
realized what he was doing.