Darkest Misery (4 page)

Chapter Six

While his bar was closed during repairs, Lucen could afford to set his own schedule. We stayed in bed for almost another two glorious hours, and by the time I emerged from his shower, I was starving. Fortunately, he had the cure for all kinds of hunger. I found him in the kitchen, the coffee already brewed, bacon cooking and a selection of croissants on the table to tempt me.

I grabbed a chocolate one, and he set a mug in front of me. I closed my eyes blissfully, inhaling the steam. “This is why I keep you around.”

“This is just one of the many reasons you keep me around.” The microwave beeped, and he added a plate of bacon to the decadent goodies on the table. “You also do it for my body, my ability to keep you supplied in free booze and my keen intellect. The last reason is why you're going to trust me when I say you need bodyguards.”

I sighed. “So the chocolate croissants are bribes to get me to give in and be treated like some helpless little girl?”

He narrowed his eyes at me over his mug. “We both know you're capable of putting up one hell of a fight. We also both know you're only one person, and you have one hell of a knack for getting yourself in trouble.” He held up one finger. “Victor Aubrey.” A second. “Lucrezia.” A third. “All the goddamn sylphs in Shadowtown. And now there's this slight matter of what happened in Phoenix. See where I'm going?”

“That's not fair.”

“No? And why not?” He waved a piece of bacon around as if to say
get on with it.

I delayed by ripping off more delicious flaky bread product. “Because I handled Victor and Lucrezia, and I escaped from the Phoenix addicts.” I just couldn't save Mitch too, and a fresh wave of guilt washed over me.

“You didn't do it on your own—not with Lucrezia. You figured out her scheme, true, and you
held
your own. But you didn't handle her on your own. See the difference?”

I did, and the sweet croissant turned bitter in my mouth. If Lucen and Devon hadn't come to my aid, Lucrezia probably would have succeeded in killing me and my Gryphon partner who was helping me bust her. That pissed me off.

I grunted my acknowledgment because saying it out loud annoyed me.

Lucen was smart enough to know my silence was acquiescence. “Good. Because whatever is going on with this prophecy, little siren, you're someone important. And if you're right and someone in the Gryphons leaked information to the furies, then the situation is even more dire than we first thought.”

This was what I got for sharing my thoughts with Lucen earlier. He'd agreed that what happened was, at the very least, suspicious. “Fine. For the sake of the world, I consent to bodyguards.”

“Don't consent for the sake of the world. Consent for me. The prophecy doesn't even make the top three reasons why I want you protected.”

“Oh, yeah? And the top three reasons are?”

“I. Love. You.”

Three words. Three reasons, and my world ground to a halt.

I forgot to breathe. Forgot
how
to breathe. All my brainpower was fixated on replaying and analyzing those words. He'd never said them before, and neither had I—not in a non-joking manner. And the reason for it was because I wasn't even sure Lucen could feel their meaning. So hearing them from his lips struck me dumb, and my God if it didn't turn my annoyance with him to some kind of mushy goo.

Lucen had never lied to me. When he didn't want to tell me something, he simply didn't. Thus if the sincerity on his face couldn't convince me that he meant them, his past behavior did.

I set down my coffee and sat on his lap. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I sank into him. “Damn you. I'll suck it up with the babysitters for you because I love you too.”

He grinned, fingers weaving through my wet hair. “I know you do and knew you would.”

“Are you manipulating me?”

That got a laugh out of him. “For years. Do you have any idea how hard you've made me work to get you here like this? To get you to a point where I could tell you I loved you and you'd believe me?”

I rested my forehead against his so he couldn't see me flush. It hadn't been all that long ago that I'd been calling him evil and telling him not to touch me. But once I'd let him under my skin, once I'd had no choice but to trust him and allow him to prove himself to me, I'd fallen hard and fast.

“By the way, that reminds me.” Lucen loosened his grip on me, and I slid off his lap. “I have something for you. I meant to give it to you before you left.” He popped into the living room for a moment while I finished my coffee. When he returned, he produced a narrow box from behind his back.

I gaped at it, my head spinning. “Unless this holds a really tiny dagger, this looks to be a jewelry box.”

“You can stop guessing and start opening.”

I wasn't sure why I was so nervous, but my hands trembled as I pulled off the ribbon. Inside the box, a pendant rested against the black velvet interior—a delicate silver fox curled around a fiery opal, both beautiful and whimsical.

I fumbled for words. “This is… It's gorgeous…but…”

Lucen laughed at me and pulled the necklace from the box. “I met you on your eighteenth birthday, if you'll recall. And for ten years, I've never been able to give you a birthday present. I even distinctly remember offering you a free drink when you turned twenty-one, and you refused because you accepted nothing from me back then. So consider this several years of delayed birthday presents.”

I snapped the box shut, and the sound jolted my nerves. “I've never given you a birthday present either, and my birthday was over a month ago.”

“We don't celebrate birthdays, and you wouldn't have accepted a gift over a month ago.” He motioned me closer so he could put it on. “The fox represents you. Over the next few days you're going to be surrounded by my kind, goblins, Gryphons, owl shifters, falcon shifters and who knows what else. You're going to need to be clever and sneaky and potentially deadly to make this alliance work. Like a fox. So there.” He let go, and the cool metal settled against my skin. “It looks good, and now you have some grownup jewelry.”

I ran my fingers over the fox's tail. “Grownup jewelry? Really?”

“You're right. I should have said now you own
some
jewelry. The next time you make me take you on date, you can wear it.”

“I have a huge collection of earrings.”

Lucen didn't look impressed.

“Fine.” I reached up and kissed him, pressing my body close. “Thank you. I don't understand you, but thank you.”

He wrapped his arms around me, blanketing me in his sweet scent. “I'm easy to understand, little siren. I want to keep you alive.”

Before I could respond to that, his phone rang. From the way he answered it, I could tell it was either Dezzi or Devon calling. And from the way his happy expression fell, they weren't calling with good news. I tensed.

“Got it.” Lucen hung up, and he hurried into the living room and turned on the TV.

I jogged after him. “What is it?”

The answer was evident as soon as Lucen flipped to one of the twenty-four-hour news channels. The purple smoke of salamander fires drifted across the sky over what looked like a small war zone. Buildings had been reduced to rubble, and in places the debris still smoldered. Among the ruins were telltale signs of curse damage. Behind the reporter on the scene, Gryphons could be seen talking. My gaze flashed to the bottom of the TV where the news graphic informed me I was looking at parts of Sydney.

“Details are sketchy for now,” the reporter was saying, “but it appears the fighting started after a series of murders targeted several sylphs' addicts.”

Lucen crossed his arms. “Sounds suspiciously like what almost happened here with the furies and Aubrey.”

Whereas a moment ago I'd been warm with Lucen's touch, a chill now settled in my blood. “Yeah, it does. If at first you don't succeed… Shit.”

There was no way this was a coincidence. The furies needed to gather power, and they were trying Plan A again.

Over the past week, a small group of us had been working hard to confirm my theory about what the furies were up to. What we believed for certain was this: the current furies were attempting to channel enough power to fill five containers called the Vessels of Making. Once they'd accomplished that task, they could release all the power from the Vessels in a complicated spell that would rip open the magical prison, called the Pit, and release the original furies from captivity. In other words, they would bring about the apocalypse Tom and I had warned Mitch about.

The furies had managed to gather enough power in Buenos Aires recently to possibly fill one Vessel, and now it would appear they'd done it again in Sydney. Our meeting with the Gryphons and the magi was growing all the more urgent.

Lucen continued to watch the news, but while I stood with him, my thoughts strayed to matters closer to home. I was stuck in an endless loop, replaying the scene in Lucen's kitchen. He loved me.

Loved me.

This was both wonderfully crazy and horribly scary, and for the first time since I heard those words, it was the scary that dominated my thoughts. Lucen had been hurt before because of people trying to get to me. Lucen could be hurt again.

I loved Lucen. I needed to keep him safe. How could I do that when the world was going crazy?

Chapter Seven

There was still no word about Mitch by the next morning or even by the afternoon, although I bugged Tom the moment I got to Gryphon Headquarters.

“I spoke with the Phoenix Office just a few hours ago, Jessica.” He swiped his ID through the card reader, allowing us access to another part of the building. “We'll hear something the moment there's something to hear. I do have some good news though.”

“Oh?” The pendant Lucen had given me bumped against my chest as I matched Tom's pace. I had it tucked under my shirt, feeling silly for wearing something so fancy when I was dressed in my usual jeans and sneakers. But Lucen hadn't wanted me to take it off, and neither had I if I were to be honest.

Tom paused to pick some papers off the printer near his office. “Grace Park is here. Her flight got in this morning.”

I tried and failed to catch a glimpse of what the papers were about. “Good. So Chicago didn't have any problem finding her? No attacks?”

“Nothing of the sort. Just some legal issues that needed to be sorted out.”

“Legal issues?”

Tom made a noncommittal noise, looking slightly uncomfortable. “She's been in and out of treatment for substance-abuse issues. Currently, she's in court-ordered counseling. Taking her into protective custody provided some challenges.”

“Wait a second. Substance-abuse counseling?” I held up my hand before he could open the conference room door. “Let me guess why. Are you paying attention to any of us? Really?”

He didn't answer, and I wasn't sure if it was because he didn't understand what I was getting at or if he was choosing to ignore me. Either way, the door had been opened. I had to bite my tongue temporarily.

Warily, I followed Tom into the conference room and discovered a petite woman sitting at the table, sipping coffee and reading through a stack of papers. Grace appeared to be of some mixed heritage, and the faintly blonde hair she'd pulled into a ponytail was clearly bleached. Although I knew she had to be about my age, the lines around her eyes and lips made her look older.

She smiled when she saw us, but it wasn't a happy smile. More like that of a trapped child who's hoping to appease her captors. I couldn't blame her, but I wished I'd been there when the Chicago Gryphons came knocking on her door. Maybe I could have helped.

Then again, maybe she'd have gotten abducted too.

Tom dumped his papers on the table. “Ms. Park, this is Jessica Moore. She's the other woman who was part of the program I was telling you about.”

“Program?” Such a benign word. I raised an eyebrow at Tom, then remembered to smile at the newcomer. Any ire I had at the Gryphons needed to wait for a better moment. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. Call me Grace.” For a small woman, she had a deep, commanding voice.

I took a seat. “You can call me Jess. Agent Kassin's suggested I might be able to…”
Help you
, is what I meant to say. But realizing how foolish that was, the words dried up in my mouth. How could I help anyone when I was in the dark about most things myself?

Tom cleared his throat. “Jessica can answer some questions, and I'm sure she'll be happy to fill you in on what her experience has been like.”

Grace entwined her fingers. Anxiety radiated off her, potent and unpleasant, yet understandable. “Agent Kassin said you could help me control these abilities I have. I'll be honest with you. I hate them. It's why…” She grimaced. “It's why I started drinking all those years ago. The alcohol and the pot—they numb it. Make me feel less so I can live with myself.”

I closed my eyes, hoping Grace didn't misinterpret the anger surging through my veins.
This is what you've done to us, Tom. This is what your damn “program” did to us.

Tom wisely chose that moment to leave the room.

Over the next half hour, I found myself in the strange position of feeling well-adjusted. Oh, I'd acted irrationally, and I'd made terrible choices, but I'd been lucky. I'd never had to deal alone like Grace had. Perhaps if I had, I might have done the same things she did to cope. Or maybe I wouldn't have been able to cope at all. Maybe I'd have been like Kyra McNaughton and have committed suicide to alleviate my guilt.

But I'd had Lucen, and once more I had to silently thank him for everything he'd done for me. For saving me, teaching me and giving me a purpose.

A fierce protectiveness gripped my chest, stealing the air from my lungs. I was not going to let that man get hurt again because of whatever load of flaming salamander shit I'd fallen into.

Grace and I talked until a Gryphon arrived to take her down to the labs. They wanted to put protective glyphs on her, but she didn't look too happy about the idea. She knew even less about her abilities than Mitch had, and while he'd expressed an interest in learning more, Grace was frightened of them.

Still, I didn't know if being addicted to mundane substances would affect her magically. For all I knew, it could weaken her will to resist pred power or mess with her brain chemistry so that she couldn't resist at all. It was therefore best to let the Gryphons charm her up if they thought it a good idea. To that end, I gave her an encouraging nod, told her I'd talk to her more later, then stalked off to find Tom. He'd returned to his office and left the door partially open.

Taking that as an invitation, I stormed in. “Are you paying attention to what your people have done? Never mind my own issues, your so-called program created a serial killer, drove a teacher to kill herself and turned another woman into an alcoholic. Go ahead and justify it all you want with the prophecy, but the bottom line is that two of your would-be warriors are dead, one is missing and another one is in absolutely no condition to fight anything except maybe her own demons.” I leaned over his desk. “And this is all your fault.”

“I think it's fair to say Victor Aubrey would likely have turned to murder without our interference.” The voice was unfamiliar and heavy with a German accent.

I spun around.

The speaker was a woman. She wore a Gryphon uniform with the same red pin on her collar as Tom had, identifying herself as a member of
Le Confrérie de l'Aile
. She was older than either of us, possibly in her sixties, with a touch of gray showing at the roots of her short hair. “You are Jessica Moore?”

“Yes, and you are?”

Tom stood, not appearing the least bit moved by my outrage. “Jessica, this is Agent Ingrid Blecher. She's come to take part in the meetings.”

I took the hand she offered. “Nice to meet you.”

If I could taste my own emotions, I was fairly certain I'd be experiencing the burnt-toast flavor of a lie.

The way Ingrid smiled at me, I suspected she was aware of it. “Tom warned me you were very opinionated, but I think your blame is misplaced. Aubrey's tendencies were likely something he would have acted on regardless, and the suicide case—well, we cannot know what her motivations were. Attributing them to what we did seems premature.”

“And Grace Park? She's pretty articulate about what drove her to drink and drugs.”

“Her situation sounds unfortunate, but I have not met her yet. I'll reserve judgment.”

Of course. Because she was a good Gryphon, and I was the surly test subject, leaping to heap blame on people.

Speaking of which, now seemed like a brilliant moment to bring up a possible leak within the Brotherhood. Ingrid was the first member I'd met—besides Tom, obviously—and I wondered if her opinion on the matter would be the same as his. Besides, I didn't know what Tom meant by “looking into it”, so if I was going to have to investigate myself, I might as well start questioning people now.

I cleared my throat. “Have you made any progress on finding out how the Phoenix furies learned about me and Mitch?” I aimed my question at Tom, but I kept my senses focused on Ingrid. While I was fairly certain Tom had nothing to do with it, I considered everyone else in the fraternity suspect.

Ingrid's emotions, however, registered very little with me. Like with Tom, it was wicked hard to read her, and my stomach sank. If that was going to be true of all members of
Le Confrérie
, then the task I'd set myself would be a lot harder.

Tom sighed. “No, I haven't. Between making sure Grace Park got settled, and with what happened in Sydney yesterday, I've been preoccupied.”

“What is your concern?” Ingrid asked me.

I turned to her. “If the only people who knew about our trip to Phoenix are part of your group, then one of them must have tipped off the furies.”

I could have phrased my response in a less accusatory way, but I'd been hoping to needle a reaction out of her. It seemed the only way I could read Tom's emotions was if I annoyed him, so possibly that would work on her too.

But alas, although I did clearly annoy Ingrid, judging by how she stiffened, I still couldn't get a clear taste of her emotions. “Impossible. No one is invited into the Brotherhood without an outstanding service record and thorough background checks. Everyone knows the seriousness of what we're up against.”

“And yet the furies found out what we were doing.” I almost added
and even the CIA has moles
but didn't bother. Unless I could catch Ingrid in a blatant lie, I obviously wasn't going to pick up on deception from her. Her emotions were as well muted as Tom's were. I'd need a new tactic.

“How is your training going?” Ingrid asked, abruptly changing the topic.

“Slowly.”

Tom lifted his chin a touch higher. “I've made sure Jessica's been given access to all the materials she needs to start catching up. We're fortunate that she already has some physical self-defense training, but we've had little time for her to take up weapons work.”

Ingrid tapped her fingers against Tom's desk. “Have you spent any time in a charm lab learning to create your own? Learned basic detection and disarmament charms? Sparred with Agent Kassin so he's seen exactly how much more training you need? Have you finished your reading about the theory surrounding how the pred prison was created? Did you—?”

“No.” I gritted my teeth. “We've been busy trying to track down your other victims, and you've given me a lot of reading material.”

“Then you should get to work.”

I was happy to take that as a dismissal, but Ingrid stopped me before I could leave by laying a hand on my arm. “Have her charms been updated?” She asked the question of Tom, as though I weren't there.

“Not yet,” Tom said.

“I would suggest making that a first priority.” Ingrid let go of me. “I will call Theo and have him take care of it. It will take several days.”

I squeezed the pendant below my shirt.
Necklace give me strength.
“I don't need my magical defenses upgraded. I'm sure Tom's told you what I can do.”

Ingrid got her phone out. “These are not just defenses we will give you. These are charms that will help blunt your emotions from preds. They will make it easier for you to be concealed. They will provide protection should you get hurt. You should also have the usual speed, strength and energy increases.”

Okay, I had to admit that didn't sound so pointless, particularly after what happened in Phoenix. Some speed and strength charms might have served me well. And charms to conceal my emotions from preds? Well, there was one mystery explained. Probably everyone in the Brotherhood had them, confirming for me that my talent as a human lie detector was unlikely to get me far in my search for a leak.