Darkest Hour (12 page)

"Not if she tells it only to you," Niles explained, as if he was an authority on magic ponds and wishes.

"Bend down, Lillian. Bend down," Eugenia ordered. I did so and she brought her lips to my ear.

"I wished you and Niles would kiss again, right here, right before my eyes," she said. I couldn't help but blush. When I stood straight up again, Eugenia had a wicked smile on her face. "You said this was a magic pond. My wish has to come true," she teased.

"Eugenia! You should have wished something for yourself only."

"If it's only for yourself, it probably won't come true," Niles said.

"Niles. Don't encourage her."

"I suppose if you whispered in my ear what she wished now that she's told you, it won't be bad. As long as the frogs don't hear it," he added, coming up with his own rules instantly.

"I will not!"

"Tell him, Lillian," Eugenia urged. "Go on. Please. Go on."

"Eugenia." I was blushing all over by now, feeling those blotches Emily said would come, even though Niles and I hadn't touched. But I didn't care. I loved the feeling.

"You'd better tell me," Niles teased. "She might get very upset."

"I will," Eugenia threatened and folded her arms across her body, pretending to fall into a pout.

"Eugenia." My heart was pounding. I looked at Niles, who seemed to know already.

"Well?" he said.

"I told her what you and I did here the first time. She wants us to do it again," I said quickly. Niles's eyes brightened and he smiled.

"What a wonderful wish. Well, we can't disappoint her," Niles said. "We have to keep up the pond's reputation for magic anyway."

He stepped up to me and this time put his hands on my arms to bring me closer to him. I closed my eyes and his lips met mine. He held them there much longer and then he stepped back.

"Satisfied, little sister?" I asked, hiding my embarrassment. She nodded, her face bright with excitement.

"Well, I wished something too," Niles said. "I wished I could thank Eugenia for wanting to come to my pond, thank her with a kiss," he said. Eugenia's mouth dropped open as Niles stepped up to her and kissed her quickly on the cheek. She put her hand there as if he had left his lips on her skin.

"We'd better start back," I said. "Before we're missed."

"Right," Niles said. He turned Eugenia around and we pushed her through the forest and to the road again. Niles walked along with us until we reached our driveway.

"Did you enjoy the trip to the pond, Eugenia?" he asked.

"Oh yes," she said.

"I'll come visiting you soon," he promised. "So long, Lillian."

We watched him walk off and then I started to push Eugenia up the driveway.

"He's the nicest boy I ever met," she said. "I really wished that someday you and Niles would become engaged and marry."

"You did?"

"Uh-huh. Would you like that?" she asked. I thought for a moment.

"Yes," I said. "I think I would."

"Then maybe Niles was right; maybe it is a magic pond."

"Oh Eugenia, you should have wished for yourself."

"Selfish wishes don't come true, Niles said."

"I'll go back and wish for you," I promised. "Very soon."

"I know you will," Eugenia said, leaning back in her chair. Fatigue was settling in quickly, washing over her like a dark, stormy cloud.

Just as we reached the front of the house, the door was ripped open and Emily stepped out, her arms folded across her chest. She glared down at us.

"Where were you two?" she demanded.

"We just went for a nice walk," I said.

"You've been gone a long time," she said suspiciously.

"Oh Emily," Eugenia said. "Don't throw cold water on everything nice anyone does. Next time, maybe you'll come walking with us."

"You've kept her outside too long," Emily said. "Look at her. She's exhausted."

"No, I'm not," Eugenia said.

"Mamma's going to be angry when she comes back," Emily said, ignoring her.

"Don't tell her, Emily. Don't be a tattletale. It's not nice. You shouldn't have told Papa about Lillian and Niles, either. It just makes for hard feelings and trouble," Eugenia chastised. "And Lillian didn't do anything bad. You know she wouldn't."

I held my breath. Emily's face turned crimson for the first time in a long time. She could argue with anyone, embarrass and snap at adults as well as children, if she had to, but she couldn't be nasty to Eugenia. Her eyes flared at me instead.

"It's just like her to turn you against me," Emily declared, and pivoted to go back into the house.

Eugenia's defense of me drained her of her last ounce of strength. She dropped her head to the side. I called for Henry quickly to help me carry her up the steps and into the house. Once inside, I wheeled her to her room and got her back into her bed. She was as limp as a rag doll. In moments, she was asleep, but I think she was dreaming about the pond, because even in her dreadful fatigue, she slept with a small smile on her lips.

I walked back through the house on my way to the stairs, but just as I reached Papa's office, Emily stepped out and seized my arm so abruptly, I gasped. She pulled me back against the wall.

"You took her to that stupid pond, didn't you?" she demanded. I shook my head. "Don't lie to me. I'm not stupid. I saw the little twigs and grass stuck in the spokes of the wheelchair's wheels. Papa's going to be in a rage," she threatened, bringing her face so close to mine, I could see the tiny mole just under her right eye. "Niles was there, too, wasn't he?" she charged, shaking my arm.

"Let me go!" I cried. "You're horrible."

"You've turned her against me, haven't you?" She released me but smiled. "It's all right. I expected no less from the living curse. You plant your evil seeds everywhere, in everyone and everyplace you go.

"But your time is coming. The weight of my prayers will smother you," she threatened.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed, tears streaming down my cheeks. "I'm not a curse, I'm not."

She held her evil smile, a smile that chased me upstairs, but it seeped in under my door, and at night it even slipped into my dreams.

Whether it was because of the things Eugenia had said to her or whether it was a result of the machinations of her own evil mind, Emily didn't tell Mamma or Papa anything about my outing with Eugenia. That night at dinner, she sat quietly, contented to be holding the threat over my head. I ignored her the best I could, but Emily's eyes were so big and so glaring at times, it was hard to avoid her gaze.

But it didn't matter; she had her own special revenge prepared, and like always, she would justify it with some religious belief. In her hands, the Bible became a weapon and she wielded it unmercifully whenever she felt it was necessary. No punishment was too severe, no amount of tears shed too much. No matter how much she hurt us, she went to sleep contented with the belief that she had carried out divine work.

As Henry once said, looking right at Emily, "The devil, he ain't got no better soldier than the self-righteous man or woman who swings that dreadful sword."

I was soon to feel the sharp end of it.

6

Of all the people I would meet in my life who were able to go about their business normally from day to day while plotting behind your back, none would be as conniving or as good at it as Emily. She could have taught the best spies how to spy; she could have given. Brutus lessons before he betrayed Julius Caesar. I was convinced that the devil himself studied her and then took action.

During the week that followed Eugenia's and my Saturday outing, Emily didn't say another word about it, nor did she exhibit any more anger or belligerency than usual. She seemed very involved in her work for the minister and the Sunday School as well as the public school and was even gone from the house more than she often was. She didn't behave much differently toward Eugenia. If anything, she appeared to be a little more pleasant, one night even volunteering to bring Eugenia her dinner.

Once a week she would visit Eugenia anyway to give her religious instruction—read a Biblical story or explain the teachings of the church. On more than one occasion, Eugenia fell asleep as Emily was reading and Emily got very upset about it and refused to accept Eugenia's apologies.

But this time, when she went in and read from St. Matthew, and Eugenia fell asleep, Emily didn't stop to lecture about the importance of staying awake and paying attention when the Bible was being read aloud. She didn't slap the book closed so hard that Eugenia's eyes would pop open. Instead, she got up quietly and slipped out of the room as softly as one of Henry's ghosts. Even Eugenia was feeling better about her.

"She's sorry for what she did," Eugenia concluded. "She just wants us to love her."

"I don't think she wants anyone to love her, not Mamma, not Papa, maybe not even God," I replied, but I saw how my being angry at Emily disturbed Eugenia, so I smiled, thinking of something else. "Imagine if she really did change," I said. "Imagine if she let her hair, grow and wore a pretty silk ribbon in it, or she wore a nice dress instead of those old gray sacks and clodhopper shoes with fat heels that make her look even taller than she is."

Eugenia smiled as if what I was saying were pipe dreams made of smoke.

"Why not?" I continued. "Why couldn't she change overnight, magically? Maybe she had one of her visions and in the vision, she was told to change.

"Suddenly, she would listen to more than just church music and she would read books and play games . . ."

"Imagine if she had a boyfriend," Eugenia said, joining in the pretend.

"And she decided to wear lipstick and put a little rouge on her cheeks?"

Eugenia smothered a giggle.

"And she took her boyfriend to the magic pond, too."

"What would the new Emily wish for?" I wondered aloud.

"A kiss, too?"

"No, not a kiss." I thought a moment, then looked at Eugenia and broke out into a wide, gleeful smile.

"What?" she asked. "Tell me!" she demanded, and bounced on her bed when I hesitated.

"She would wish for a bosom," I replied. Eugenia gasped and put her hand over her mouth.

"Oh my," she said. "If Emily just heard you."

"I don't care. Do you know what the boys at school call her behind her back?" I said, sitting beside her on the bed.

"What?"

"They call her Miss Ironing Board."

"Oh, they don't?"

"It's her own fault, the way she dresses and flattens out what little bosom she has. She doesn't want to be a woman and she doesn't want to be a man."

"What does she want to be?" Eugenia asked, and waited patiently for my reply.

"A saint," I finally said. "She's as cold and as hard as the statues in church anyway. But," I added with a sigh, "at least she's stayed out of our way these last few days and has even been a little nicer to me at school. She gave me her apple at lunch yesterday."

"You ate two?"

"I gave one to Niles," I confessed.

"Did Emily see?"

"No. She was inside all during lunch helping Miss Walker correct spelling papers." We were both silent a moment and then I took Eugenia's hand into mine. "Guess what?" I said. "Niles wants to meet us again on Saturday. He wants to take a walk with us to the creek. Mamma's got her lunch party here so she won't mind us being out of her hair. Pray for a nice day again," I said.

"I will. I'll pray twice a day." Eugenia looked happier than she had in a long time, even though she spent more time in bed than ever. "I'm suddenly very hungry," she announced. "Is it almost time for dinner?"

"I'll see Louella about it," I said, getting up. "Oh, Eugenia," I said at the door, "I know Emily's been nicer to us, but I still think we should keep next Saturday a secret."

"Okay," Eugenia said. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Don't say that!" I cried.

"What?"

"Don't ever say 'hope to die.' "

"It's just a saying. Roberta Smith's always saying it whenever I see her at our barbecues. Every time someone asks her something, she adds, hope . . ."

"Eugenia!"

"Okay," she said, snuggling up in her blanket. She smiled. "Tell Niles I look forward to seeing him Saturday."

"I will. Now I'll see about dinner," I said, and left her dreaming about doing the things me and my friends took for granted each and every day.

I know Eugenia didn't say anything to Emily about Saturday. She was too worried something might happen to stop us from going. But maybe Emily came to her door while she was praying for a nice day or maybe she was in the shadows spying and listening when Eugenia and I spoke. Perhaps, she just had anticipated it. Whatever, I'm sure she spent every day plotting.

Just because we were looking forward to it so hard, Saturday took forever to come, but when it finally did arrive, it entered the week with a burst of warm sunshine that came streaming through my windows to caress my cheeks and open my eyes. I sat up full of joy. When I gazed out the window, I saw a sea of blue rolling from one horizon to the other. A gentle breeze brushed through the honeysuckle. The world outside was inviting, waiting.

In the kitchen Louella told me Eugenia had been up at the crack of dawn.

"I've never seen her so hungry in the morning," she remarked. "I've got to hurry her breakfast before she changes her mind. She's gotten so thin, you can practically see right through her," she added sadly.

I took Eugenia's breakfast to her and found her sitting up and waiting.

"We should have planned a picnic, Lillian," she complained. "It's too long to wait until after lunch."

"Next time we will," I said. I placed her tray on her bed table and watched her eat. Although she was hungrier than usual, she still pecked at her food like a frightened bird. It took her twice as long to do everything a healthy girl her age would do.

"We have a beautiful day, don't we, Lillian?" "Magnificent."

"God must have heard all my prayers."

"I bet He had no chance to hear anything else," I quipped, and Eugenia laughed. Her laughter was music to my ears, even though it was still expressed in a thin, small voice.

I returned to the dining room to take my breakfast with Emily and Mamma. Papa had already gotten up and left early to go to Lynchburg to a meeting of the smaller tobacco farmers who were, according to Papa, in a life-and-death struggle with the corporations. Even without Papa's presence, we said a prayer before we ate. Emily saw to that. The passages she chose and the way she read them should have made me suspicious but I was so happy about our adventure that I barely noticed.

She chose Exodus, chapter 9, and read how God had punished the Egyptians when the Pharaoh refused to let the Hebrews go. Emily's voice boomed over the table so hard and loud, even Mamma winced and looked fearful.

"'So, there was hail, and fire mingled with the hail, very grievous, such as there was none like it in all the land of Egypt since it became a nation."

She raised her eyes from the page and glared across the table at me, showing that she had every word of the page memorized and recited.

"'And the hail smote throughout all the land of Egypt all that was in the field, both man and beast . . .'"

"Emily, dear," Mamma said softly. She would never dare interrupt if Papa were there. "It's a little early in the morning for fire and brimstone, dear. My stomach's churning enough as it is."

"It's never too early for fire and brimstone, Mamma," Emily retorted, "but it's often too late." She glared at me.

"Oh dear me, dear me," Mamma moaned. "Let's just start eating, please," she begged. "Louella," she called, and Louella began to bring in the eggs and bacon. Reluctantly, Emily closed the Bible. As soon as she had done so, Mamma broke out into some of the juicy gossip she was going to verify this Saturday.