Darkest Fire (13 page)
13
I
t was nine o’clock at night, and Rin had a good idea where her husband was. She knew she had no right to be upset. He’d made it clear he would be going to the dungeon after they were married. He wouldn’t be giving up D/s. He’d also told her he wouldn’t have sex with his partners.
t was nine o’clock at night, and Rin had a good idea where her husband was. She knew she had no right to be upset. He’d made it clear he would be going to the dungeon after they were married. He wouldn’t be giving up D/s. He’d also told her he wouldn’t have sex with his partners.
Still, there was this awful feeling, a churning sensation, in her gut.
Why couldn’t he give it up? And if it truly was impossible, why couldn’t he do those things with her? Didn’t other people in D/s play with their wives and husbands?
Maybe if she understood it all better, maybe if she went to one of those places and saw what happened there, she wouldn’t feel so icky inside. Then again, maybe she’d feel worse.
It’s worth the risk.
Sitting on her bed, in comfy sweats and a tank top, she powered up her cell phone and dialed an old acquaintance’s phone number. Andi had hooked up with Drako that first night, when they’d met him at the bar. Rin hadn’t talked to her since. It was going to be awkward. Rin couldn’t stop imagining the two of them together, Drako touching Andi, kissing her, fucking her. Unfortunately, Andi was the only person she knew that was into D/s, and Rin was motivated enough to shove aside her discomfort to go to her.
Andi answered on the third ring. “Hey, girl, where have you been? I haven’t seen you at the club, at work. I thought you’d fallen off the face of the earth.”
“Some things have happened lately.” Rin looked down, at the copy of
Emma,
sitting on her pillow and smiled. “A lot has changed.”
Emma,
sitting on her pillow and smiled. “A lot has changed.”
“Oooh, sounds juicy. Tell me everything.”
She felt her face paling. “I think I’d rather give you the Reader’s Digest version.”
Andi’s exaggerated sigh was plenty loud enough to hear, even over the semicrappy connection. “I guess that’s better than nothing.”
“I’m married.” Like she found herself doing a lot, she toyed with her ring.
“What? Married? When? Who? Why didn’t you ask me to be your maid of honor?”
Maid of honor. Andi? Wouldn’t that have been awkward. “We sort of . . . eloped. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.”
“Ohmygosh, I would have never pegged you for the eloping type. You’re so . . . what’s the word? Traditional. Where’d you go? Vegas?”
“Toledo.”
“Not my first choice, but hey, if you’re happy, who am I to judge? Do I know Mr. Right?”
“Yes. Um, you do.” A lump the size of her bed congealed in her throat.
“Who is it?”
She swallowed hard. Once, twice, three times. “Drako Alexandre.”
“No kidding? You and Drako? Holy shit! I had no idea. Well, actually, I could tell he was into you at the bar. But I kinda figured he was a little too much man for you, if you know what I mean. I mean . . .”
“This is awkward, I know. But he was single then. He could do whatever he wanted.”
“Sure.”
There was a long stretch of silence. Rin squeezed her pillow tighter. Was this worth it? Really? Wasn’t there another way to find out about bondage? Couldn’t she go by herself? Or maybe try to convince Drako to take her?
“Rin, I hate to tell you this, but you’re my friend. . . . He’s still coming to the dungeon.”
“I know.”
More silence.
“What made you decide to marry Drako Alexandre?” Andi sounded genuinely bewildered.
“I have my reasons. But don’t feel bad for me, Andi. When I married him, I knew about the D/s, and I was okay with it. We talked about it.”
“But . . . ?”
“I just want to understand that side of him. He knows I’m not into it, so he doesn’t want to force me.”
“Ah, I see. Rin, he’s compartmentalizing his life, for your benefit. If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people do that, you know. They don’t necessarily want or need D/s in their marriage, so they’ll scene with partners outside of their relationships.”
“Yes, I figured as much.” Rin stood, walked to the window. She opened it and peered out, into the deepening shadows. Here and there, fireflies twinkled. And the song of a bird floated on a sweet-scented breeze. “I still want to understand it.”
“Do you know exactly what he does at the dungeon?”
“No. I haven’t a clue. But he did tell me there would be no sex involved.” Rin went back to the bed, plopped on her butt. “I’d like to go with you to a dungeon. I want to see what happens.”
“Are you sure about this? It may be hard for you.”
Rin nodded, even though Andi couldn’t see her. “I’m sure.” She waited. One, two, three . . . ten seconds. “Andi?”
“All right. I’ll take you to a play party. You’ll see what goes on. And no, I won’t take you somewhere your husband will be. I’m not that cold-hearted.”
“Thank you.” Rin felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She hadn’t even realized it had been there. She pulled in a slow, deep breath, let it out.
“I’d say you’re welcome, Rin, if I felt I was doing you a favor. But I don’t know. I may regret this.” She already sounded like she was, but Rin wasn’t going to point that out to her.
“Don’t worry about me. I can handle it.”
“I hope so.”
“Just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.”
“Fine. Tomorrow night. Be here at eight. If you have doubts, even the slightest, don’t do it.”
“I’m not going to change my mind.”
“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“Yes, you will.”
She laid back, closed her eyes, and tried to imagine what a bondage dungeon might look like. Dimly lit. Screams and the snap of a whip echoing off the walls. Nude men and women bound in all kinds of positions, gagged. They were disturbing images. She hoped reality wouldn’t be as bad as that.
Deciding she needed to do something else, other than make herself crazy, she checked on Lei. Sleeping. She headed down to the den and turned on the TV. Nothing worth watching. She pressed an ear to the door to Drako’s home office. Not a sound. She went to the library, helped herself to a wine cooler she found in the bar’s minifridge, then after taking a swig or two, found a mystery novel that looked interesting and headed back up to her room.
With the help of a little alcohol coursing through her veins, she was able to turn off her brain and enjoy the book. One hour passed. Two. Her eyelids were heavy and her vision blurry.
Drako still wasn’t home. Where was he?
She set the book on the nightstand on top of
Emma,
turned off the light, and settled in, hoping if she dozed off, she’d wake when Drako came home.
Emma,
turned off the light, and settled in, hoping if she dozed off, she’d wake when Drako came home.
She didn’t.
Either she didn’t hear him come in or Drako didn’t come home at all. She peeked into his room the next morning. His bed was made. She headed down to the kitchen. No Drako. She checked his home office. Not there either.
She felt a little ill.
She went to the kitchen for her usual morning dose of caffeine and sugar. There was a box of cinnamon rolls on the counter. They hadn’t been there yesterday. She helped herself, washing it down with a glass of cola.
Now what?
Where should she go today? Lei had classes all day. She wouldn’t be home until dinnertime. Putting her glass in the dishwasher, Rin sighed. The sound echoed through the still house.
It was too freaking quiet. She couldn’t sit in this empty house. Not another minute.
She’d go nuts.
Good thing there was always a need for volunteers at the Salvation Army. She had a feeling she’d be spending a whole lot of time there, organizing canned foods and sorting through donations in the upcoming months.
“Number one rule—no matter what you see, or what you think you see, don’t interrupt a scene.” Andi flipped on the turn signal and maneuvered her car around a corner.
“Got it.” Riding shotgun, Rin had one hand wrapped around the handle of her purse, the other her seat belt. The car was headed west, and the sinking sun glared so brightly in her eyes, she had to squint as she rooted through the things in her purse, looking for the sunglasses that had sunk to the bottom. She couldn’t help noticing her hand was shaking a little. She was probably more nervous tonight than she’d been on her wedding day.
“Number two—don’t touch anyone without permission.”
Finally finding her glasses, she slid them on. That was better. “Okay. That should be easy enough to remember.”
The car turned again, heading north. When they were stopped at a traffic light, Andi glanced at her. “It isn’t too late to change your mind.”
“I’m not going to, no matter what. I can’t be afraid of what I’ll see, what I’ll learn. Domination and submission is important to Drako. It shapes all of his intimate relationships.” She glanced down at her ring. She ran her fingertip over the smooth face of the stone. “As his wife, I need to have some understanding of what it means to him. I want to know what needs D/s fulfils. Maybe I never will get it, but I want to try.”
The light turned green. Andi gave her a sympathetic pat on the knee, then hit the gas. “The significant others I’ve met—which are few, I admit—don’t know and don’t want to know.”
“Sure. It’s safer that way. It’s like knowing there’s something under the bed but being too scared to look and see what it is. Maybe it’s a monster. Maybe it’s a sweet little kitten. I won’t know until I take a look, right?
“Sure.” Andi turned onto a single-laned, winding drive that led to a large brick home squatting at the back of a nicely landscaped lot. Off to one side was a small parking area, filled with maybe ten or fifteen cars. Drako’s car wasn’t among them. Andi cut off the engine, turned to Rin. “It’s now or never.”
“I’m ready.” Rin slid her purse’s strap up over her shoulder and opened the door.
Andi flipped down the visor to check her makeup in the mirror. “Okay. Let’s go.” After Andi walked around the back of the car, meeting Rin there, she said, “Remember the rules, Rin.”
“No touching, no interrupting. You’ll stay with me, right?”
Andi nodded, her long drop earrings flashing in the fading sunlight as they swung back and forth. “I won’t leave your side.”
Rin walked, Andi glided toward the building. Wearing a simple skirt, blouse, and pumps, Rin wondered if she’d stick out in the crowd. If the place was full of people like Andi she most certainly would. Andi’s pearl-hued, floor-length gown was more fitting for the red carpet than a “simple” play party.
At the door, Rin hesitated. “Drako won’t be here, right? You know for sure?”
“He shouldn’t be. For the most part, the same people come here every week. Drako isn’t one of them.” Andi pushed open the door, holding it for Rin. “But I think you need to understand something.” She let the door swing shut. “In this area, the D/s world is tight. I rarely go to a club or party without seeing some familiar faces. Even if Drako isn’t here, there’s still a pretty good chance someone who knows him will be.”
Rin’s heart rate doubled. “That’s why I’m Kathy for the night.”
“Yes, Kathy. Are you ready?” Andi gave her a tense smile. “You look great.”
“Thanks.” Rin clenched and unclenched her hands. She took a deep breath, let it out. “Okay. Let’s go.”
Rin followed her friend inside the house that wasn’t much smaller than her own. As she walked across the marble-tiled foyer, she realized the home’s owner had to be just as wealthy as her husband. All around her were signs of wealth. Original art on the walls. Fine furniture. Beautiful light fixtures dripping with crystals. Sweeping staircases. She wondered if it was any coincidence that the party’s host was affluent.
A man met them at the rear of the room, checked the invitation Andi had in her purse, and offered to take any garments they wished to leave in the coatroom. Andi declined his offer, and when they both looked at Rin, she did the same. Together they headed down the wide hallway, passing quite a few people as they walked. Whether it was the cut of Andi’s gown—bias, to fall over her curvy form in flattering drapes—or something else, Andi gathered appreciative looks from men and women alike. She was the belle of the ball.
Andi slid a hand around Rin’s waist and pulled her forward. Rin hadn’t realized she’d stopped. “I’ve been to a party here before. Let’s head into the main dungeon. It’s up ahead, on the left.”
Trying to avoid eye contact with anyone she passed, Rin followed Andi’s lead farther down the hallway. As they got closer to the dungeon, the space became more crowded with people. Many were dressed in elegant evening wear like Andi, but others were wearing clothing more in line with what Rin had imagined—leather and latex and lace. Still others were wearing little or nothing at all. She caught sight of one man dressed head to toe in black. Nicely fitting dress pants, equally nicely fitting sweater. Behind him, a beautiful brunette woman followed, wearing an itty-bitty G-string and a glittery chain hanging from her nipples. That chain caught her eye, and Rin had to consciously move her gaze. She glanced up, to the woman’s pretty face. The woman’s full lips curved ever so slightly, forming a ghost of a smile.
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