Darkest Desire (18 page)
Authors: Tawny Taylor
“I'll go shopping this afternoon, after you propose.”
“Good.”
“Okay.” She opened her mouth, closed it. “I guess I'll get going. I want to get cleaned up before the big event.”
“April, I owe you.”
The little muscle along her jaw clenched as she stared at him for about a million heartbeats. Finally, she said, “Just be happy. If you're not, I'll be fucking furious.” She left.
That was one hell of a woman. She'd make some lucky man very happy some day.
And at least this way Brent wouldn't be alone when he learned ... when Brent was told he was dead. Maybe, just maybe, Brent and April would end up together. They made a good couple.
Satisfied he'd made the right decision for everyone involved, it was time to convince Lei she needed him as much as he needed her.
Lei stopped in her tracks. Her heart literally stopped beating. She could swear it had.
Just her luck, she'd walked in on Malek and April, mid-proposal. He was on bended knee, in the living room, smack dab in front of the fireplace. He was holding a ring box in his hands and was looking up into April's eyes.
She gritted her teeth and tried to move. Dammit, her feet were glued to the fricking floor.
“You and I have shared a long history together, and now I'm asking you if you'd share my future, too,” Malek said, his voice somewhat flat.
Weird. It sounded like he was reading a script.
Then again, she supposed he might not be one hundred percent enthusiastic about the proposal. He'd all but spelled out the fact that he wasn't happy about the situation. But wouldn't he at least try to make a small effort at appearing happy for April's sake?
April's response was even chillier, much to Lei's surprise. All she said was, “Sure. Thanks.” She took the ring out of the box and put it on her finger.
Lei's feet began moving. She crept around the corner, counted to five, then headed back into the great room, hoping they didn't know she'd just witnessed the world's most pathetic marriage proposal ever.
When she entered the room, she found Malek sitting on the couch, next to April. April was staring at her ring, shifting it on her finger so the facets caught the flickering firelight. Lei inadvertently bumped a chair as she was crossing behind the raised breakfast bar, and both Malek's and April's gazes snapped to her.
“Hi,” Lei said, motioning to the kitchen. “I ... thought I'd better put away the salad.”
April and Malek exchanged glances.
“It's official.” April scampered over to her and flashed her ring finger. “We're engaged.” Lei couldn't help picking up the heaviness in her tone.
Lei forced a smile. “Oh, wow! That's great! Congratulations!”
“Thanks.”
Lei's gaze flicked to Malek. He was staring into the fire.
“The wedding's tomorrow,” April added.
“Wow, so soon?” Lei's stomach twisted. “Tomorrow.”
“Yes, Malek took care of most everything but the dress. I'm heading into town. Want to come with me?”
“I don't know ...” Lei checked Malek again. Still staring into that fire.
“Okay, well, I'm going up to change into something more respectable and then I'm heading out. You can come along if you want. If you'd rather stay behind, that's your choice. If it were me, I wouldn't hesitate. We've been locked up in this freaking house for long enough.” April hurried off to change.
Lei took this opportunity to check on Malek. She sat beside him and set a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
She studied his profile. If he was trying to convince her he was okay with his decision, he wasn't a good liar. “April didn't seem all that emotional about the proposal. Is it because of your ambivalence to this marriage thing?”
“Probably. But I'm not going to lie to her. That would be unfair, to pretend. No, she knows exactly how I feel.”
“What about her? Up until now I thought she genuinely cared for you, more than she dared admit.”
“She does care for me. I don't doubt that. She's committed to marrying me and making it work for both of us. But she's not exactly thrilled about the situation either. You remember the âbooby prize' comment?”
This was so freaking wrong, forcing two people to get married.
Malek's gaze finally met hers. “Before you go off to chew out my brother for being unfair, remember, it's my decision to get married. He's not holding a gun to my head.”
She wanted to smack him upside the head for that remark. “What kind of person would set such unreasonable conditions in his will?”
“The trust was set up many years ago, long before my brothers and I were born. It's completely legal and binding.”
“But that's only if the trustee cared to enforceâ”
“He will.”
Could she be any more frustrated or confused? “Why?”
“Because it's what he must do.”
That was the most noninformative response she'd ever heard. “Since when is everyone so goddamn honest and faithful?”
“In my family, as far back as I can trace.”
“Then your family isn't normal.”
“I never said we were.”
Well, so much for that. Lei yanked her gaze away from the face she could stare at for the rest of her life and instead watched the flickering red and yellow flames writhe and dance in the fireplace. “You're going through with it.”
“Of course.”
“Even though you don't love her.”
“That's right. But isn't that what you want? Up until now I thought it was.”
“Yes, it was. But only if you couldn't avoid it. And only because I thought it was what April wanted.”
“You heard what she said about thinking about it.”
“Sure, but I thought that was just her pride talking. Her actions said something different. They said she was committed to you.”
“The fact is, she is committed. But she's not in love with me. And that's why I'm semi-okay with this. If it were one-sided and she loved me, hoping I would reciprocate, I'd probably feel too guilty to go through with it.”
“Ugh. How honorable.”
He shrugged. “I'm who and what I am. Nothing more. Nothing less.” He took her hand in his, his fingers loosely enclosing it. “I think we just need to put this subject to rest. I've decided to marry April. She's decided to marry me. Will you go shopping with her? I don't want her out alone.”
“Is it safe?”
“If it wasn't, I wouldn't let you go.”
“But that'll leave you here alone. You're hardly in any condition to fight off an attacker.”
“Nobody knows we're here. We haven't had any problems. I'll be fine.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you.” He gave her one last longing-filled look and then went back to staring at the fire. His fingers relaxed, and he released her hand.
A few seconds later, April came clomping down the steps in five-inch stilettos. “Lei, I'm ready to go. Are you coming?”
“Sure.” As she headed toward the door, she looked over her shoulder, snatching one final glance of Malek before she left.
18
T
he next day was gorgeous. The sun was shining brightly, making the snow sparkle like a coat of pristine white diamonds. Birds were twittering cheerfully. And the air was fresh and clean, but not bitter cold.
he next day was gorgeous. The sun was shining brightly, making the snow sparkle like a coat of pristine white diamonds. Birds were twittering cheerfully. And the air was fresh and clean, but not bitter cold.
Lei had been yearning for a day like this for several weeks. This year fall had been too short, too wet. The weather had gone from hot and muggy and soggy to frigid and snowy and wintry. This was better. This was nice.
Except...Malek was about to marry another woman in just a few minutes. And the kicker was, he didn't love her and she didn't love him.
Why exactly was she sitting there, watching him make this huge, colossal mistake?
He loves me. It's me he wants
.
.
Lei's hands shook as she stepped into the living room, where the private ceremony was about to take place. Malek was standing in front of the windows, head tipped, talking with the minister, his voice too low for her to hear what they were saying.
She wanted to go up to him, ask him once more if there was any way he could get more time. But she couldn't move. It was as if her feet were glued to the floor. And before she could get them unstuck, Malek had hit the remote and the room had filled with the hauntingly beautiful sound of Pachelbel's “Canon,” and both men turned toward the back of the room.
Lei followed the direction of their gaze, finding April standing behind her. She had to admit, April made a beautiful bride. The dress she'd selected was simple, a floor-length sheath of white silk, but it fit her curves perfectly and made her picture-perfect body look even more stunning than usual. She smiled at Leiâthe only witness, as well as bridesmaidâthen motioned for Lei to start down the makeshift aisle. Lei shuffled into place in front of the minister, turning to watch the bride as she started slowly walking toward her waiting groom.
With every step April took, Lei's heart hammered against her breastbone at least a hundred times. The roar of blood in her ears was almost loud enough to drown out the music. But Lei didn't speak, didn't move to interrupt April's progress toward the minister and Malek. Over and over, she kept repeating to herself,
This is for the best, this is for the best.
This is for the best, this is for the best.
The music cut off several seconds after April had reached the end of the aisle. Lei stared at April and Malek. Were they happy about this at all? Either of them? Did they stand any chance of being happy down the road?
Malek flicked a gaze at her and her heart jerked. Even though he was smiling, his eyes were dark.
The minister started, “We are gathered here todayâ”
“Excuse me,” Lei cut him off. Her voice was weak, shaky.
Three sets of eyes cut to her. Only one held any hint of surprise, and they belonged to the minister.
“Is there a problem?” the minister asked.
“Yes, there is,” she said, still hardly believing she'd just said what she had.
Something flickered in Malek's eyes. Was it hope? Was it relief? Or were those the things she wanted to see? “Lei? What's wrong?”
“Malek, this is just ... wrong.” Her eyes started tearing up. She thumbed her lower lashes, catching the first tears before they dribbled down her cheeks.
April said nothing, didn't even look at her.
“April, do you love Malek?” Lei asked.
April didn't answer.
“Malek?” Lei asked. “What about you?”
“You know the answer to that question, Lei.”
Her gaze hopped from Malek to April to the minister at least three times. She was so freaking confused. So torn. She had no idea what to do, what to say. She knew she probably should have just kept her mouth shut and let Malek marry April, like he'd planned. But she was weak. She couldn't do it.
“I'm sorry, Malek, for ruining your special moment.” Thinking a hasty retreat might be the best idea for all involved, she back-stepped away from them. Her ass smacked against the chair and she lurched around, fighting to stay upright while scrambling to get out of the room.
Behind her, she heard Malek shout, “Lei, wait!”
But she didn't wait. She kept going, dashing as fast as she could in the stupid silver-gray dress and insanely high stilettos April had insisted she wear.
Malek caught her as she was stumbling down the hall. He grabbed her arm. “Lei, we need to talk about this now. Don't run away. If you do, you'll regret it. So will I.”
Her vision blurred again as another fresh batch of tears gathered in her eyes. “What do you want from me?”
“I want you to be strong, courageous. For me.”
“But I'm not strong. I'm weak. I'm broken. And I have no idea if I can ever be fixed. Why would you want me, when I can't give you everything you need? Everything you deserve?”
“You can. You will. If all you do is say yes. If all you do is promise to love me for the rest of your life. That's all I need. Nothing more.”
“Butâ”
He pressed an index finger to her lips. “Shhhh. Don't talk yourself out of this. Listen to your heart. Don't think.”
“That's easier said than done,” she said, all too aware of his finger still resting lightly on her lip.
“You stopped the wedding. Now, what are we going to do next?” He let his hand fall to his side.
She glanced over his shoulder at the waiting minister. April had gone somewhere, out of sight. Guilt wound through her insides. “Where did April go?”
“Probably out to her car. She's leaving.”
“But ...”
“I'm not marrying her, and she knows it. I told her she was free to leave if you interrupted the wedding. Let me make one thing clearâshe's extremely grateful.” He extended a hand and smiled. “And so am I.”
“But...” Reluctantly, she placed her hand in his. Okay, maybe she hadn't wanted to see Malek marry April. But she'd intended to just leave so she wouldn't have to witness it.
Oh hell, who was she fooling?
“We're making the minister wait.” Ever so gently, he tugged on her hand, leading her down the hall. She let him walk her up to the minister, but she still wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing for either of them.
The minister's expression was serene and kind. “Now that we've taken care of that minor situation, are we ready to begin?”
Malek slid a sideways glance at her. “Lei? Is there something you'd like to ask me?”
“Are you kidding me?” She knew her eyes were bugging out of her head. He'd put her on the spot.
Granted, it was her fault, since she'd interrupted his wedding.
“Well?” he asked.
Could she do it?
She said, “You know what you're in for. If you ever throw this back in my faceâ”
“I won't. I promise.”
“Okay.” She turned toward Malek and he shuffled around to face her. “If you expect me to get on bended knee.”
“No, that's for me to do.” Grimacing ever so slightly, he started to lower himself down on one knee.
“Malek, stop. You're hurt.”
“Hell no.” He looked up at her with wide eyes. “I'm feeling just fine, Lei.” He nodded. “Okay, I'm ready.”
“Malek Alexandre.” Her throat constricted. She inhaled. Exhaled. Inhaled again. “Will you...marry me?”
“Yes.” Malek pushed back up to his feet, beaming one of the most breathtaking smiles at her that she'd ever seen. His eyes were full of joy, so different from how they'd looked just a short time ago. He turned to face the minister. “Please continue.”
The minister launched into a speech about the meaning of love, reciting that familiar passage that begins, “Love is patient ...”
As he spoke each word, her doubts began to fade. Yes, she wasn't perfect. She had her problems. But Malek's love was everything it should be. It was patient and kind and hopeful and beautiful, and she should never have doubted his ability to wait for her to heal.
With happy tears, instead of sad ones, she recited her promise to Malek, to love him, honor him, and keep him for the rest of her life. After he promised her the same, he pulled a beautiful ring from his pocket and slipped it on her finger.
It was done. They were now bound together for the rest of their lives.
The minister said, “You may now kiss the bride.”
Malek used his index finger to tip her chin up and brushed his lips across hers in a sweetly seductive kiss. “Now, you're mine,” he said, staring deeply into her eyes.
“Yes,” she said, breathless, trembling all over, from head to toe.
The minister clapped Malek on the back and offered his congratulations. They signed all the required paperwork, making the marriage legal; then the minister left.
They were alone now. Married.
Lei knew Malek wasn't going to haul her to bed like a caveman and have his way with her. Not knowing how she'd react. But she did appreciate the fact that he might have some expectations when it came to his wedding night.
If he did, he kept those thoughts to himself. They shared a romantic dinner in front of the fire, fat white flakes drifting to the ground outside, blanketing everything in glittering snow. It was one of the most peaceful, serene moments in her life. And she realized then, as they later relaxed on the ginormous couch, cozy and comfortable in sweatpants and T-shirts, bellies full, exactly how stressed out she'd been over the last few days.
“Well,” she said, glancing down at the stunning ring on her finger, “today wasn't what I'd expected.”
“Is that so?” His voice was light, bubbling with laughter.
“So glad you think that's funny.”
“I don't think it's funny.” He swiveled to face her, took her hands in his, and kissed the back of each one. “I'm just so happy, Lei. I wanted you to stop the wedding, but I wasn't sure if you'd do it. Thank you for being brave for me.”
“You're welcome.” Her gaze wandered over his face for a moment, taking in all the glorious details that weren't as noticeable from a distance. The thick lashes framing his eyes. The sexy little mole sitting high on his cheekbone. The arch of his eyebrows. The curve of his lip. And the fine lines bracketing his eyes.
That was a face she would wake to every morning for the rest of her life.
She reached for him, tracing his square jaw with the tip of her index finger, and she let herself wonder what their children would look like. Would they have his wavy, soft hair or her straight, slick hair? Would they have his deep blue-black eyes or her brown? Would they have his angled face or her softer, rounder one?
“Lei, if you don't stop that, I'm going to lose control,” he murmured, his voice rumbly and thick and masculine.
She pulled her hand back. “Sorry.”
“No, I'm sorry.” He shoved his hands through his hair. “I should have more self-control. I shouldn't get hard when you just look at me like that. But I've tried to stop it. I can't.”
“I should be flattered.”
“I won't tell you everything. You're not ready. Suffice it to say I'm suffering, but in a good way.” As if he wished to lighten the mood, he winked. “Don't worry. I won't do anything to hurt you. Not mentally. Not emotionally. Not physically. I can't. I love you too much.”
“I believe you. I ...trust you.”
They shared a look.
“Can I kiss you?” she asked, finding herself already leaning in.
“Hell yes.”
She moved slowly, tipping her head, inching closer, closer, until she felt his breath tickling her lips. Finally, she closed that miniscule distance between them.
The second their mouths met, her heart started pounding. Her blood warmed. Her body tightened. The kiss was sweet, lingering, a tease. She pulled back and looked at his face. So handsome. Utter perfection.
“Is that it?” he asked, eyes still closed.
“Are you disappointed?” A giggle slipped up her throat. She skimmed along his cheekbone with her index finger, tracing the angles that haunted her dreams. He had such a strong face, masculine features that appeared so hard they could have been carved in stone. But underneath, he was so different from his appearanceâkind, gentle, patient.
“Disappointed? No.” His eyelids lifted partway, revealing half of his eyes. He looked sleepy, sexy. He cupped her cheek, brushed his thumb over her lower lip. He tipped his head, moving in for another kiss.
Holding her breath, she closed her eyes and waited. That fraction of a second, between knowing he would kiss her and when their mouths met, seemed to last a lifetime. Finally, their lips touched.
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