Darker After Midnight (36 page)

Claire took her hand and nodded. “I found you. Do you want to try to go back to the beginning with me now that I’m here?”

Jenna nodded, unable to command her voice—the voice of whomever she embodied in this dreamscape—to speak. She wanted to go back. She could do this. She had to.

A sudden jerk of motion yanked her backward through the darkness.

The waves retreated at hyperspeed, flood and destruction unwinding in an instant. Rolling her back to the moment she always entered the dream, teetering at the brink of coming destruction.

Then back even further.

She looked down from the tall crag, astonished. The moonlit city in the valley below was ancient. Columned white temples and bricked roads spread out in all directions. Massive gates and stone towers, protective moats and water-filled canals that ran like arteries
through the heart of a pristine, thriving metropolis. Its beauty was mythical, breathtaking.

She swiveled her head to see if Claire was witnessing the same thing. But before she could glance her way, a sudden bright light flashed on the far horizon in front of her, illuminating the night sky like a newborn sun.

The earth rumbled beneath her feet. The tremor rocked with terrific force, so massive she staggered where she stood, nearly losing her purchase on the jagged mountain ledge. The entire planet trembled, as though about to crack open at its core.

And out over the sea beyond, a great cloud was forming. It billowed high and furious, ashes churning up from a stalklike funnel crowned with a roiling mushroom head. The cloud blew a gale of heat so intense, she had to lift her arm to shield her face from the burn.

Below her in the valley, some of the taller white temples began to shudder and break apart. People poured out of homes and taverns, spilling into the cobbled streets in a din of panic and confusion. Their screams went up on the dry night wind like banshee cries.

The wail and howl of a population experiencing its own sudden, wholesale demise.

As the waves rose up from all directions, Jenna tore her gaze away from the carnage about to take place. She searched for Claire beside her, but she was gone.

Now someone else stood next to her on the cliff.

An Ancient.

There were three others with him, all the same immense height, hairless heads and bared torsos covered in otherworldly
dermaglyphs
. Their thin-pupiled eyes were catlike in the darkness, raptly enthusiastic as they watched the destruction taking shape before them.

They were exultant.

And they had done this terrible thing, she was certain of it.

All at once, the reality of it hit her. Here, in this moment, this awful landscape, she wasn’t Jenna. She was one of them. One of these Ancient marauders—the one who implanted his bit of alien
material into her human body and made her into something else. A shadow of himself. A vessel to carry his history, no matter how cancerous and ugly it was.

This moment wasn’t only a dream. It was memory. It was a past event playing out for her, frame by horrific frame.

In the city below, people screamed and wept. They tried to flee, but the ocean was swelling even more, crashing high onto land. There was nowhere for them to run. No hope for any of them to survive.

One of the Ancients at her side pivoted his unfeeling amber eyes on her.
The fools should have surrendered when they had the chance
.

Not a voice, but a thought sent deep into her brain.

Another glanced her way, equally unmoved.
She will never surrender
.

From a third:
And what of her legion who escaped with her?

We hunt them down
. This voice was Jenna’s, yet not hers. A psychic projection of thoughts she wasn’t even aware were hers. Because they weren’t.

They belonged to him—the one whose alien skin she occupied now, in this nightmare landscape.

She didn’t understand the words she was speaking, no more than she could comprehend the reason these creatures had done such a heinous thing to an entire community of people. But the four others standing with her on the cliff were looking to her now for direction, seeking counsel from the otherworldly kindred they saw before them.

Wherever they’ve gone, however long it takes
, said the mind inside her skull, in the alien language that wasn’t hers.
We hunt them down … until we claim the head of every last one
.

A
SINGLE, STACCATO RAP
sounded on the door of the room Lucan had taken over as his private office. He glanced up and heaved an aggravated sigh. “Enter.”

Tegan came in, still dressed in his winter coat and weapons, fresh off his return from Boston. “Don’t mean to interrupt.”

Lucan shrugged and pushed aside the lab intel analyses Gideon had given him earlier that night. He hadn’t even read the damn things yet, had just been sifting through the papers on autopilot for the past hour, glad for the excuse to shut himself away from the rest of the compound to wrestle with his thoughts. Grave, disturbing thoughts that probably weren’t going to see any improvement, if Tegan’s serious look was any indication. “How’d it go?”

“Could’ve been worse.” Tegan arched a tawny brow. “Chase and the woman are both outside with the others.”

“No resistance from him?” Lucan could hardly believe that.

“Oh, he resisted. Or would have, if Renata hadn’t dropped him on his ass with a shot of instant obedience training.”

“Shit,” Lucan grumbled, raking a hand over his tense jaw. “And the female?”

Now Tegan’s shrewd green eyes glinted with an ironic light. “Tavia Fairchild is everything Rowan told us she’d be—and then
some. She’s Breed, all right, and Gen One besides. No damn doubt about that. Got the
glyphs
and fangs to prove it.”

“I’m not sure I want to know how you were able to confirm that.”

Tegan grunted and shook his head. It took an awful lot to put the Gen One warrior in a state of awe, but there was no mistaking the amazement in his low voice. “You should’ve seen her, man. The instant Renata opened up on Chase with her mind zap, Tavia came out of nowhere, spitting venom and ready to take on all four of us at once.” He exhaled a wry curse. “Maybe I should have let her try, just to see what she was capable of in raw, Gen One form. With training and a bit more time to get used to herself in her new skin, I think she could be one hell of an asset to us.”

“She’s not staying,” Lucan said, already hating the idea that yet another civilian—and a female besides—was under the Order’s roof. One more innocent life placed in his hands. A life unlike any other, if the facts about Tavia Fairchild’s origins were even close to the truth. “I agreed to bring her in because we can’t afford to let anyone connected to Dragos run loose and unchecked on the streets right now. She’s here to provide whatever intel we can glean from her and to cool her heels until we ash that son of a bitch Dragos once and for all. Soon as we have what we need, she’s going back to Rowan or a safe house somewhere. Either way, she’s out of here ASAP.”

“You gonna tell that to Chase?”

Lucan’s dark look was met with a cool stare. “Ah, Christ … Harvard and her—”

Tegan inclined his head in confirmation. “Appears so. If the move she pulled, coming to his defense at Rowan’s wasn’t enough to convince me, the ride north only confirmed it.”

“You talking sex, or sex and a blood bond between them?”

“That I don’t know,” Tegan admitted. “Harvard looks like shit, but he’s keeping it together for the most part. I tested him on the way up, and I gotta say, I was surprised to see he passed. If not by much. No mistaking the feral vibe coming off him, but there was a new restraint about him that I haven’t seen in a long time.”

Lucan considered for a moment. “You think he needs solitary?”

“I think if we put him in a hole, that might just push him straight over the edge. Right now, Tavia seems like the only thing holding him together, and even that’s precarious.”

“Jesus.” Lucan leaned back in his desk chair and blew out a long sigh. “Like things aren’t bad enough around here. Harvard’s outside, you say?”

Tegan nodded. “Hunter and Niko are keeping an eye on him while I headed down here to talk with you.”

“And the female?”

“She’s meeting the welcome wagon right now. Looks like we got back to base just in time. Everyone’s about to head in with Dante and Tess for Xander’s presentation ceremony.”

Lucan’s brow furrowed. “That’s tonight?”

But, shit, of course it was. Gabrielle and the other Breedmates had been making preparations for the ritual for days now, trying to give Tess and Dante’s son a proper introduction into the world despite the chaos that surrounded them. As leader of this household, Lucan would be the one officiating as tonight Xander Raphael would be officially presented to his kith and kin, and his godparents would publicly pledge themselves to his upbringing, should tragedy take Dante and Tess before he reached adulthood.

The ritual was steeped in tradition and honor among the civilian Darkhaven populations, more pomp than practical necessity. But it took on heavier meaning here, under the Order’s roof, where combat and war could claim any one of their members on any given night.

Lucan stood up, unaware he was gritting his teeth until he heard the sharp grate of his jaws. His hands were fisted at his sides, knuckles white as bone.

Tegan’s gaze narrowed on him. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing.”

When Lucan started to stalk toward the door, Tegan stepped in front of him. “Nothing, my ass. I don’t need to touch you for an emotional well-check to know that something’s got you freaked out. I don’t think it’s got anything to do with Chase or this new wrinkle Tavia Fairchild has caused. I don’t even think it’s got much to do with Dragos.” The warrior stared harder at Lucan now, as
though he could see right through him. “What’s going on with you and Gabrielle?”

Lucan felt his chin go up in defense, a cold spark shooting through his veins. “Has she said anything to you? To Elise? What the fuck have you heard, Tegan?”

Tegan shook his tawny head. “Haven’t heard a thing. But I pay attention. She’s walking around lately like there’s a hole in her heart, and you look like you’re about to lose your best friend.”

Shit. He wanted to deny it, but there was little point trying to dodge Tegan now. Not when Lucan’s face had to be telling Tegan how right he actually was. “I’m fucking things up with her. I knew when that female first came into my life that she deserved someone who could give her a life worthy of her. A safe life, a happy life. Not this endless upheaval and war.”

Tegan narrowed a look on him. “Gabrielle’s never struck me as the kind to go into anything with her eyes closed. When she chose you, she did it knowing exactly what she was getting into. Everyone under this roof knows there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for her.”

“Except give her a son.” Lucan felt the words slip out of his mouth before he could bite them back. Much as it killed him to admit it, he was glad his guilt was finally out there. Keeping it inside had been a festering sore that only bored deeper into his soul every second he held it back. “That’s what she wants from me, Tegan—a child. And I can’t give it to her. Not now. Not when I know this war with Dragos could eventually rip our son from her arms. And not when I can’t see a clear future that isn’t swamped with violence and corruption. This is no goddamn time to be bringing another innocent life into the world.”

Tegan had gone very quiet now. Studying Lucan. Reflecting on something deep inside himself. Finally he gave a mild shrug. “Maybe it isn’t, Lucan. Then again, maybe there’s never been a better time. Maybe right now we all need a little hope.”

Lucan stared, dumbstruck, realization dawning on him as subtly as a freight train. “You and Elise?”

“Yeah.” Tegan’s chuckle burst from him, full of a mystified
wonder that Lucan had never heard in the warrior. Not in the five long centuries the two had known each other.

“Goddamn, T. Congratulations.” He reached out and clapped his palm to his friend’s thick shoulder, then pulled him into a brief, brotherly embrace. “How far along is she?”

Tegan’s smile only deepened. “Not long. She conceived just a few nights ago.”

Lucan thought back to the recent crescent moon phase, the brief cycle of fertility for blood-bonded Breedmates. While he was pushing Gabrielle away, Tegan and Elise were making a new life together.

Although Lucan was rife with shame for the fear that had kept him from sanctifying his own bond with Gabrielle, he couldn’t deny his goodwill for Tegan and his beloved mate. “A Breed child couldn’t hope for better, more loving parents. I mean that, my friend. I am truly happy for you and Elise.”

The warrior nodded solemnly. “Knowing our son is on the way only gives me more cause to make this world a better place. For all our sons, Lucan.”

He wanted to agree, to say he felt the same hope for the future none of them could predict, but Lucan’s tongue stayed cleaved to the roof of his mouth. Tegan nodded. He understood. He, of all the warriors of the Order—down the many centuries since its original formation—knew the dread that was eating Lucan up inside.