“We cannot take a hoonan as mate … however beautiful she is! We are both half-breeds now!”
“My mother is not hoonan!” Colwin snapped. “And neither was your natural mother! They were both other-worlders!”
Aydin felt his face heat at the reminder. “Which still makes us only half-centaur! We are still half-breeds.”
“And without mates or any hope of one because of that!” Colwin snapped.
“The thought that your off-spring would be only a quarter centaur does not bother you at all?” Aydin demanded in disbelief.
“It is better than having none!”
“For whom? Not for the child! You do not care if you condemn your off-spring to what we have endured?”
“I did not say that! I do not like that any more than you do! But even I can see that
any
off-spring I might have would have to deal with it, even if I could take a mate within the tribe!”
Aydin studied him for a long moment, uncomfortably aware that he had a very good point. Short of having no children of their own, it was the unfortunate truth of the matter and, as irresponsible as it might be to ignore that truth, he did not think he could face a life without a mate or a child. He knew he did not want to.
There was little point in railing against fate, or his father. His father had faced the same as he did—through no fault of his own. His mother had been raped by a hoonan and she had been shamed and disgraced up until the time when she had died giving birth to him. Despite the fact that Chandler’s father would not acknowledge his mate’s bastard son, his uncle and father had weathered it because they had each other.
“It does not matter,” he said finally. “You will not do yourself any favors to think that way. She will not accept us, Colwin. She wants to return to her own people.”
“She does not belong with the hoonans,” Colwin said tightly. “And she would not have fled if she wanted to be there.”
“I cannot answer that when she will not say why she fled, but she told me last eve that she wanted to go home.”
They discovered when they finally returned to the place where they had left her sleeping that Emma had disappeared. For a few moments, such rage and disappointment filled Aydin that his mind went perfectly blank. “The little vixen!” he growled angrily. “She was feigning sleep and waiting only for a chance to escape! I knew we should have bound her again!”
* * * *
It should’ve been hard to get back to sleep considering her turmoil, but Emma discovered that even that wasn’t enough to keep her awake after Aydin had so thoroughly satisfied her—as if her bid for freedom hadn’t been exhausting enough! She was dismayed when she woke at dawn and discovered she was alone. Sitting up, she looked around, fighting the sense of abandonment she felt and the fear gnawing at the back of her mind. Finally, trying to convince herself that she was relieved they’d abandoned her to fend for herself, she got up and moved into the brush a little way to relieve herself.
As luck would have it, she’d barely squatted when she heard them returning. Struggling, she finished as quickly as she could. She’d just surged to her feet when Aydin spoke.
He looked startled and immensely disconcerted when she stood up.
She felt her face heat since there couldn’t be any doubt about what she’d been doing. It took a moment for what he’d said to register and several moments more for resentment to hit her. “I didn’t
know
I had to ask permission to … go!”
It was somewhat mollifying to see him redden, but he merely looked away. “If you want to bathe or get water before we start out, you should go now.”
“I will take her,” Colwin volunteered.
Aydin stopped them before they left the campsite, studying the gown she was wearing. Before Emma had figured out why he had such a sudden interest in her dress, he reached for her. Grabbing a handful of fabric along the side just below the seam where the dress was joined with the bodice, he jerked on it. The sound of rending fabric, or parted seam, was loud in her ears. She looked down at Aydin and her dress, feeling a flutter of alarm go through her when he pulled his short sword from the waist of his loincloth. It wasn’t much relief when he merely used it to start two tears on either side of the skirt where he’d pulled the fabric loose.
“What the hell are you doing?” Colwin demanded.
Aydin didn’t even glance at him. “She nigh drowned last night because of this ridiculous thing she is wearing. If she ‘falls’ in the stream again, I would just as soon she does not have this to carry her to her grave,” he said, flicking a sardonic look up at her.
His comment caused a mixture of feelings. Emma was still uneasy about his plan until she saw he’d fashioned a ‘loincloth’ similar to what the two of them were wearing, cutting away the yards of extra fabric along each side of the bodice and then shortening the fabric in the front and back to just above her knees. She felt ten pounds lighter when he’d finished—not an unwelcome change. The problem was, it
wasn’t
a loincloth, and she didn’t have any underwear, and she felt downright indecent with her bare hips showing on either side of the damned thing!
Because it
was
indecent! One breeze and she’d be completely exposed!
It wasn’t bad enough the damned thing was cut so low at the neck her boobs were in danger of falling out? Now she had her bottom hanging out, too! She almost felt like she wouldn’t have been as exposed nude as she was in the outfit she ended up with when he was done.
Both men stood back and examined it.
She couldn’t tell much about their expressions beyond the fact that Aydin didn’t seem nearly as pleased with his handiwork as Colwin did.
“This will be more suitable for the forest,” Aydin said after a prolonged moment, his voice sounding a little hoarse.
Colwin swallowed a little convulsively, but he merely nodded.
Aydin jerked his head at her after a moment. “Go with Colwin. We need to get moving.”
As Colwin led her away, she glanced back at Aydin as he bent over to collect the fabric he’d torn from her dress and bundled it with what was left of the underskirt she’d been wearing. Trying to comfort herself with the thought that they were too tall to get much of a view even if the wind did catch what was left of her skirt, Emma struggled with how she felt about her situation in general and Aydin in particular.
She didn’t quite know what to make of him. The night before, when he’d kissed her, she’d felt like the most beautiful, desirable woman in the world. It wasn’t just the things he’d made her feel that had made her drunk with desire. His touch had been so … desperate that she’d felt like he found her as desirable as she did him.
And yet, afterwards, when she’d been relishing the most fantastic climax she’d ever had—when he should have been as thoroughly enchanted as she was—he’d seemed more angry than anything else. That had wounded. She supposed it shouldn’t have. She supposed she should have realized that it was just sex, but she’d felt more than that. She’d been convinced
he
felt more than just a wild, animal attraction.
His anger afterwards had made her rethink the situation, had brought the unpleasant suspicion home that, to his mind, it may have been more an act of conquest than she’d realized at the time. It hadn’t felt like rape, but was it?
And if she hadn’t felt like it was at the time, did it become that upon reflection because she thought she’d misunderstood his motives?
She
still
didn’t understand, she thought angrily as she crouched at the water’s edge and bathed and drank her fill of water. When he’d refashioned her dress, he’d seemed more intent on making certain she was comfortable, safe. It seemed a contraction when he’d just been denouncing her as deceitful that he would turn around and make it easier for her to move around—easier to run if she felt the urge.
It occurred to her forcefully that men were always inclined to think women used sex to manipulate them and that Aydin might think that was why she’d given in to him.
Ok, so she had to concede that it was very likely that pretty much every woman
had
at one time or another.
She hadn’t been last night, though—she didn’t think.
Had
it been in the back of her mind, her subconscious mind, that it was a way to ‘tame’ the beast? To curry favor? To ensure her safety?
She certainly hadn’t thought so. She hadn’t believed that she was acting on any impulse except desire—an uncharacteristic impulse, to be sure. But then she’d never been around men like Aydin and Colwin—men that weren’t actually men at all but strangely exotic and appealing beings.
If that was the case, though, it sure as hell hadn’t worked worth a damn, she thought angrily! He seemed more suspicious of her rather than less!
She glanced at Colwin then, wondering if he was as inclined to distrust her as Aydin and discovered he was staring at her bared legs hungrily. She also noticed that he looked pretty battered. “You fought with your brother,” she said before she thought better of it.
His gaze flickered to her face. His skin reddened with discomfort. “We had a … difference of opinion,” he said tightly.
About her?
She swallowed a little convulsively, unnerved by the evidence of violence. “Does it hurt?”
He sent her a sour look. “No more than his, I don’t expect.”
She hadn’t actually noticed that Aydin’s face looked as battered as Colwin’s did. “The bully,” she muttered. He was the oldest and bigger and stronger, she didn’t doubt, although Colwin hardly looked frail himself! “Why don’t you put some cool water on it? It should help the swelling go down.”
He studied her curiously for a moment and with more than a touch of suspicion.
Emma frowned. “I wasn’t considering bashing you over the head with a rock while you were occupied,” she said dryly. “I just thought the cool water might help.”
“I am centaur.”
“Meaning you’re a tough guy and nothing hurts?”
Irritation and amusement flickered across his face. “Meaning we heal very quickly. It does not hurt any longer. In a little while it will heal and there will be no sign at all that it happened.”
Surprise flickered through her but she realized it actually made sense—in a crazy sort of way. If they could shift from being completely human in appearance to the form of centaurs, there had to be some serious cell manipulation going on. She doubted that that meant they didn’t feel any pain, though, regardless. “Except in your memory.”
His lips tightened and she realized he wasn’t thinking about his fight with his brother at all but the deeper wounds he’d suffered at the hands of the hoonans. “We need to go.”
Scooping up one last drink of water, Emma rose and led the way back.
“I will carry her,” he told Aydin when they reached him again.
Aydin divided a frowning look between them. “You will regain your strength faster if you are not burdened with her.”
Indignation rose in Emma’s breast, even though she was obliged to admit she wasn’t exactly a feather weight. Colwin looked equally indignant. “I believe I can manage,” he responded tightly.
Aydin shook his head at his brother. “You take insult where none was intended. I have been a guest of King Bart. I know what a sojourn in his keep is like. You have dropped a stone, at least—almost no food or water and driven to work until you are nigh ready to drop and beaten until you get up again if you fall … or try to fight them. And we have no food to help rebuild your strength. Let me carry her at least until we have had time to find food and eat a decent meal.”
Colwin looked somewhat mollified, but he refused the offer. “I will carry her. Mayhap tonight we can hunt, fill our bellies, and we will all feel better for it.”
Adyin allowed the subject to drop, but it was obvious he still didn’t like it and Emma felt horribly uncomfortable—like an unwanted guest who turned out to be more trouble. She didn’t know anything to do but comply with their decision, however. It occurred to her to volunteer to walk, but she doubted she could walk fast enough to suit them and, if it came down to running to keep up, they were going to be forced to carry her or leave her. The gown wasn’t as cumbersome as it had been, but it was still cinched too tightly to allow her to manage a run without keeling over from oxygen deprivation.
It wasn’t until Colwin grasped her arm to help her swing up onto his back that it dawned on her that she was about to encounter one of those ‘swinging in the breezes’ moments she’d worried about. She only had a split second to recognize her dilemma, however, before Colwin swung her up. She landed awkwardly, discovering she had notion between her naked bottom and his bare back.
His coat was soft—but only in one direction. It prickled against the tender skin in her nether regions when she tried to situate herself. He twisted around to give her a look as she wiggled and shifted, trying to get the backside of her skirt beneath her. She felt her face light up. “I was trying to … get something under me.”
“I am under you,” he said, his eyes gleaming with amusement.
She felt her face turn redder. “I know,” she muttered tartly. “That’s why I was trying to get something under me.”
“It is hot and damp,” he murmured, flicking a glance at the sun just rising between the trees.
Emma glared at him.
“It is bound to get hotter as the day goes on.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. She didn’t think for a moment he was talking about the weather!