Authors: Helen Black
Jack comes back into the kitchen. ‘Sorry, love. I’m all over the place and talking shite.’
‘I don’t think you are, Jack,’ I tell him. ‘I think we should have Alice come and live here.’
‘What?’
‘If we don’t, it will only be a matter of time before Lilly stops you having any sort of relationship with Alice,’ I say.
‘I’m not sure she’d actually do that,’ he says.
‘I think she might,’ I say. ‘She already keeps you at arm’s length and you’ve said yourself that her ex-husband hardly had any contact with his son.’
‘David was a complete arse,’ he says. ‘He brought most of it on himself.’
‘So Lilly told you,’ I say.
‘I dunno.’
He’s wavering. Come on, Jack, pick up the pen and let’s edit the history books here.
‘And I’ll be honest with you Jack,’ I say. ‘I’ve been really worried about Alice.’
‘Worried?’
I take his hands in mine. ‘We both know there’s something wrong with Alice. She’s a beautiful girl, utterly gorgeous, but something’s not right. It may be a tiny thing that can be sorted out, but I don’t think Lilly will ever allow her to access any help she might need.’
‘She’s in denial,’ Jack says.
‘Yes, she is, and that’s understandable, but we have to put Alice’s best interests above our own feelings and above Lilly’s.’
He doesn’t answer, just looks into my face.
‘I love Alice like my own,’ I say.
His eyes well with tears. ‘Do you really think we could do this?’
‘Yes I do,’ I say. ‘Now you get a shower and sort out an application for those bloody medical notes. The chief super will find it hard to sack anyone who’s just caned a murder case.’
With that, I shoo him out of the room and log on to the internet to find a local family solicitor. I can’t resist a laugh when the first entry is for a firm in Harpenden:Valentine & Co.
Lilly pulled on her wellies.
‘Going out?’ David asked.
Lilly nodded. ‘Sam’s cracking on with some work the school emailed, so I thought I’d take Alice out for a bit of fresh air.’
‘Want some company?’
‘Why not?’
They stepped outside the cottage, their boots disappearing in a snowdrift.
‘Bloody hell,’ Lilly laughed. ‘We must have had another six inches last night.’
David scooped up Alice, put her on his shoulders and they set off. Lilly could feel wet snow sliding down the inside of her boot as they made their way up the garden to the fields beyond. There was no right of way across the farmer’s land, but he was relaxed about Lilly hopping the fence every once in a while providing she steered clear of the crops.
‘This always was a fabulous spot,’ said David.
Lilly fought the urge to point out that he’d been quick enough to leave it when Cara caught his eye.
‘We’ve been happy here,’ she said. ‘Sam and I.’
The rough track that divided two fields was lost, so they settled on a march in a straight line. It was hard going and Lilly’s calves soon began to burn.
‘I think Sam has enjoyed having me around,’ said David.
‘Of course he’s enjoyed it,’ said Lilly. ‘He misses you something rotten when you’re not around. I’m sure Flora is missing you right now.’
He nodded and kept on through the snow.
‘You can’t avoid Cara forever,’ said Lilly.
‘I know.’
‘You have to sort something out for Flora’s sake.’
‘I just need some time to get my head straight,’ said David.
‘It doesn’t work like that with kids. They need to know where they are and when they’re going to see their parents, otherwise they get confused and sad.’
‘Was Sam confused and sad when I moved out?’
Lilly wasn’t going to lie. ‘Yes, he was. He never knew when you were going to turn up or when you were going to cancel.’
They reached a high beech tree, its branches laden with snow, the boughs groaning under the weight.
‘I’m going to make it up to him,’ David told her. ‘And to you, Lil.’
She turned, ready to explain that he should concentrate his efforts on his children and not worry about her, when a shout came from behind them and a figure stumbled in their direction.
Lilly cupped her hand over her eyes. ‘Is that Sam?’
‘I think so,’ David replied.
Her son soon caught up with them, out of breath with trying to run in the impossible terrain.
‘Where’s your coat, Sam?’ Lilly chided. ‘You’ll catch your death of cold out here without a coat.’
He shook his head at her in exasperation. ‘That doctor.’ He had to stop and swallow some air.
‘You mean Harry?’ Lilly asked.
Sam nodded.
Lilly felt her stomach muscles tense. ‘What about Harry? Did he call?’
‘He’s at the cottage,’ said Sam.
‘Now?’
‘Yeah,’ Sam replied. ‘I said you were out with Dad and Alice, but he wouldn’t listen.’
‘You weren’t rude, were you, Sam?’
‘No. I just tried to tell him that you weren’t working today, that you were, you know, spending some time with your family. I mean it’s not a crime, is it?’
‘’Course not,’ said Lilly. ‘But it’s not Harry’s fault if something important has come up.’
Sam shrugged. ‘Doesn’t matter anyway. He wouldn’t leave.’
They trudged back to the cottage, Sam grumbling to his dad that Lilly never got any time off and Lilly trying to work out what might have happened. Please God it wasn’t Chloe.
‘I’m sorry to turn up on your doorstep like this,’ said Harry.
He was literally on Lilly’s doorstep. Sam hadn’t let Harry into the house, but had left him freezing outside.
‘Come inside.’ Lilly gave Sam a withering look over her shoulder. ‘You must be going numb.’
She led Harry through the cottage to the kitchen.
‘I need to speak to you,’ said Harry.
‘And they don’t have phones in Harpenden?’ Sam muttered.
‘Finish the work that school emailed,’ she said.
‘Done it.’
‘Then go and watch telly,’ Lilly told him.
He threw Harry a scowl before traipsing into the lounge and turning the television on so loud that Alice screamed.
‘Sam!’
He reduced the volume to merely ear-splitting with a theatrical sigh.
‘Kids,’ said Lilly. ‘If they told us how it was going to be, we’d have all bought goldfish instead.’
Harry gave a polite smile.
‘So, what’s up?’ Lilly asked.
‘I got a call from someone called Kerry Thomson,’ he said.
Lilly felt light-headed. Jack must have passed on the list of suspects to the CPS. Kerry must have decided that there was no case for Chloe to answer.
‘What did she say?’ Lilly asked.
‘She said I have to go to court tomorrow.’
‘That’s quick.’ Lilly beamed. ‘I thought they’d wait until forensics came back with a proper ID on the rapist, but the CPS must have decided they didn’t want to waste any more resources on it. Cutbacks and all that.’
‘I don’t think it’s got anything to do with cutbacks,’ Harry said.
‘Then it must be my legal genius.’
Harry didn’t laugh. Was he pissed off that she wasn’t giving him credit for his part?
‘I know it was difficult for you to give me those names,’ she told him.
His eyes clouded over.
‘You’re going to have to forgive yourself, Harry,’ she told him. ‘Yes, they’re your closest colleagues, but one of them is a very dangerous individual.’
‘I know that.’
‘Then why so glum? Soon that guilty party will be in jail and tomorrow Chloe will be freed from this horrible thing hanging over her,’ said Lilly.
Harry shook his head. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘What?’
‘I don’t think the police have started making any investigations into the names I gave you. They haven’t even been in touch,’ he said. ‘I don’t think tomorrow’s hearing has anything to do with dropping the case against Chloe.’
‘Then why on earth is the case listed tomorrow?’ Lilly asked. ‘What does Kerry need you in court for?’
No sooner had the words come out of her mouth than Lilly knew the answer. The realization struck her like a hammer blow. ‘Don’t tell me,’ she said. ‘The CPS have applied for Chloe’s medical notes.’
Harry nodded. Lilly had to sit down. Jack hadn’t begun an investigation and Kerry hadn’t decided to drop the proceedings. On the contrary, they were ploughing on with the case against Chloe. Disappointment flooded over Lilly.
‘Will they get the notes?’ Harry asked.
‘Depends,’ Lilly replied. ‘Can you hand on heart tell the court that there’s nothing in there that would support the prosecution case against Chloe?’
‘I don’t know.’
Lilly hid her face in her hands. Bang went her quiet day.
Gem turns the shower up as hot as it’ll go and covers herself in soap, rubbing the bar directly over her skin, including her mouth.
There’s a knock on the bathroom door and Misty walks in. She’s smoking a fag, flicking her ash into the cup of her other hand. Gem feels a bit embarrassed in front of her, which is stupid if you think about it.
‘You can’t have a shower after each one,’ she tells Gem. ‘Your skin’ll fall off.’
Gem don’t care and carries on scrubbing.
‘Just douche yourself,’ says Misty. ‘Get rid of the smell of johnnies and that.’ She looks around for an ashtray. ‘You are using johnnies aren’t you?’
Gem’s shocked she even needs to ask.
‘Don’t look like that.’ Misty drops her fag end into the lav. ‘That Turkish bitch will do anything for a few extra quid.’
Gem turns off the shower and starts to dry herself.
‘You sore, are you?’ Misty asks.
‘A bit.’
Gem told Feyza last night that she’d start seeing some of Bill’s friends and she’s done three already today.
‘Use plenty of lube.’ Misty checks her reflection in the mirror, raking her fingers through her hair. ‘Get them done as quick as you can.’
Everyone keeps telling her that and Gem does try, but the last one seemed to take an hour.
‘Lie there like a piece of meat and they’ll ride the fucking arse off you,’ Misty says. ‘Pretend you’re enjoying it and talk dirty. Tell ’em you’ve never had a cock like it.’ She leans closer to inspect the scars around her mouth. ‘And if that don’t work stick your finger up their arse.’
‘What?’
Misty puts up her middle finger, the nail shorter than the rest. ‘Give it a quick suck and get it right up there.’ She shoves the finger in her mouth and pulls it out with a wet smack. ‘And don’t ask, just do it.’
Gem pulls on a pair of red knickers and a black bra; her hair’s still wet and water trickles down her back.
‘You done that one who calls himself John yet?’ asks Misty.
Gem shrugs. Some of ’em tell you their names, some of ’em don’t say a word.
‘Mucky grey hair,’ says Misty. ‘Smells like a skip.’
Oh him. Gem had to hold her breath while she did him.
‘I always use the finger on that one,’ Misty says.
‘Why are you telling me all this?’ Gem asks.
Misty turns away from the mirror and faces Gem. ‘I was your age once, started working straight out of care.’
‘What happened to your mum?’ Gem asks.
‘Died.’
‘How?’
‘Long story,’ says Misty. ‘Now get your face back on, there’ll be more punters this afternoon.’ When she gets to the door, she stops. ‘And keep a note of how many you do, so you know how much Feyza owes you.’
Gem shakes her head. She ain’t likely to forget how many men she’s doing it with, is she?
‘Listen to me,’ says Misty. ‘You soon lose track.’
On the way to the Grove, Harry barely spoke and the inside of his car was oppressively silent and hot. The heater belted out like a hairdryer. Yet Harry still shivered every few minutes.
‘You okay?’ Lilly asked.
‘Think I’m coming down with something,’ he replied.
Lilly knew how he felt; despite the Saharan temperature in the car, Lilly’s hands were clap cold.
When they arrived at the hospital he held each security door open for her, without catching her eye. Lilly felt more wounded than she knew was reasonable. He was a man who had found himself in the eye of a perfect storm and had every right to retreat into himself. The trouble was she had got used to basking in the warmth of his attention and the lack of it bit her like the chill air in the streets.
She was in the middle of telling herself to grow up, when Elaine Foley walked into their path. Lilly stopped in her tracks and stared.